


True to your heart

by LobbyLane



Category: The Producers (2005)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-19
Updated: 2017-03-19
Packaged: 2018-10-07 20:45:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 153,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10369047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LobbyLane/pseuds/LobbyLane
Summary: Keeping something simple a secret isn't that big a deal. But keeping a person a secret is something completely different. What if you had to lie for the sake of love? Leo/Max The Producers (c) Mel Brooks





	1. The Call

**Author's Note:**

> This is going to be a new multible chapter fic ;) I just couldn't get rid of the idea... So, sorry for the lame start. I guess I just suck at beginnings XD Enjoy

„No! No! No!..There's no way," Max sounded more desperate than angry right now. He and Leo had been sitting over those books for the past two weeks and hadn't come to any conclusions yet. It appeared no matter what they tried or considered, it just wouldn't work out as they had planned.

"We still can't afford it," Max said. Leo lifted his tired head a little from the papers just to find his partner's eyes following every written word again in a hurry. He yawned. He hadn't slept much the past nights and combined with the stress during daytime he felt as though he could hardly go on.

Wearily he looked around. The piles of papers and accounting books made it almost impossible to find the desk they usually used to work on anymore.

But there was nothing for it. They simply had to continue. So much depended on it. And every nightmare like this was bound to end sooner or later. At least that's what Leo kept telling himself over and over again. They were certain to find a way out of this predicament...

"Seriously?" he thought by himself. He'd been certain there must be. That was a week ago, but he saw things different now...

Well, who would have thought three of their very important investors would pull themselves out of production in the middle of the already set rehearsal period. It never happened before. Okay, at least not in the last years. The huge financial lack which followed was what they had to face right now.

Under normal circumstances this wouldn't have been such a big issue but this time the loss was so huge, it even affected them privately.

"Let's face it... We're broke," Leo heard Max murmur from time to time and even though he didn't say it in Leo's direction he knew it was much more serious this time.

"It used to be so easy back when...," Leo mumbled, resting his head on his hands and closing his eyes just for a second.

"Back when?" Max asked, not looking up from his papers.

Usually Leo wouldn't finish a thought like that out loud but he felt didn't matter at the moment.

"...Back when you just replaced a backer with just another little old lady. Something like that was only a problem for let's say half an hour," Leo responded lazily. He could feel Max's eyes on him just seconds later. He turned his head a little only to grin at him.

Max smirked back, slightly shaking his head.

"You know pretty damn well why this is not an option anymore," he answered without taking his eyes away from the younger man. Leo just loved to tease him especially with an old topic like that.

"But...," Leo started anew. "Couldn't you just, you know... talk to them? I mean some of them were quite fond of you as far as I remember."

Max shook his head while gazing at the books in front of him again.

"That is not how it worked," he simply answered. Leo knew there was no use to ask any more. Plus, he didn't really wanna hear about Max's past 'ways' to convince his former backers to get the money for his shows. He knew too much anyway.

"What if you try?"

He bit his lips for that and closed his eyes in remorse. "Shut up, silly," a little voice in his head repeated. Yet, he had asked. "Gee, are you really that desperate?"

He flinched a little when he felt Max's hand on his head. But he simply nudged him softly and Leo knew he wanted him to stop. Max often did a joking gesture like that lately and Leo always wondered why he still felt afraid of his reactions every time.

For Max wasn't who he used to be. He changed after an accident that occurred to him one year earlier and ever since he wouldn't react in his effervescing manner anymore. At least not in front of Leo who was pretty well aware that he had been playing a major role in that change.

"No more refreshing of past habits," Max simply said. Leo sighed. That conversation was over.

On the one hand he was kind of relieved Max didn't waste a thought about working the way he used to. It wasn't what he wanted anyway. Just thinking about it made him feel sick. He just didn't want to see him with anyone else.

On the other hand it would have solved a lot of their problems right now and all this double-shift working would be over.

He moaned once more and let his head fall to the desk with a numb sound. This just couldn't go on.

His head was so heavy and he simply had no ideas anymore when he suddenly felt the warmth of Max's hand on his head again.

"You know, you should go to bed if you're feeling that tired," he said softly.

"I can't let you do all this alone," Leo answered and turned his head to smile at Max, who simply shook his head, smiling.

"I'm sure we'll figure something out. Don't you worry about that too much," he said quietly.

"Well, how am I not supposed to?" Leo arose from his seat. "This is bad and you know it."

"Yes, it is. I'm not trying to play it down," Max looked at him softly. "But there ain't much we can do right now to be honest. We need a plan. A strategy; something to make this work. And neither you nor me will be able to figure something out if we fall asleep on the desk."

Leo nodded. "I guess you're right. But what about you?"

"I will follow you soon," Max answered. "I just need to check something."

Again Leo nodded. He turned to leave but stopped in the door-frame once more. Max already had his eyes buried in those books again and didn't pay any more attention to his partner leaving. Whatever it was he wanted to look up he didn't waste any time.

Leo bowed his head. He'd expected that. The whole situation didn't do any good on their being together. It was almost like a huge dark cloud hanging silently over their relationship with no one daring to speak about it or finding a way to spend a little time together just the way they did before; let alone the hope of some intimacy. But lately there wasn't even time for some tender words. It was enough to drive one up the wall.

Sooner or later that situation was doomed to become a huge issue. Leo knew. And he knew Max knew. Yet, there was nothing he could do about it right now.

So, he simply turned his back on Max and left the room.

"This is a disaster," Max thought, just staring at the mess in front of him. He stopped for a moment and tried to calm down. There had to be something he could do. Anything.

He thought of Leo's suggestion of course. He had been so right. It was so much easier in the past. But no, there was absolutely no chance he would consider that again. He stopped it long before the both of them noticed they were connected through more than a business partnership; even more than just friendship.

He had to laugh thinking about it.

"Look how far you've come," he thought. "Being faithful had never been one your strengths, you old fool."

Yet, he just couldn't do it. There was no one else he wanted to be with but Leo. And doing it for money was unimaginable.

"I simply need to find another way," he thought. "For Leo's sake!"

He winced when suddenly the phone rang. A sound that could wake the dead...

Max cast a quick look at the old clock in their office. How peculiar. Who would be calling at this time?

A little hesitantly he answered that call, but didn't even come so far as to say anything.

"Mr. Bialystock?"

"Yes?"

"Oh, good. I was hoping to catch you... It's quite late now, isn't it?" The voice said.

"It is indeed," Max answered dryly, simply waiting for the man on the phone to tell him whatever he wanted.

"I apologize for that," the voice answered. "I am sure you're dying to hear the reason for this late call, right? Well, allow me to introduce myself first. My name is Arthur Pembroke and I am the CEO of.."

"Of the Pembroke Empire...," Max interrupted him and sounded surprised. "You own like half of Broadway..."

"So you have heard of me then?" The man chuckled.

"Well, who hasn't?" He himself had rented theaters a lot of times for his productions. But he had never spoken to him personally. A thousand thoughts ran through Max's head. Why would someone like that call him? "So, forgive me that rather rude question, Sir. But what gives me the pleasure of your call?"

"Ah, straight to the point, eh? Well, I heard about your little 'backing' problems concerning your latest play," he answered. "And to be quite honest, I wondered a little about this. Max Bialystock is not able to find investors? From what I've heard it is a sheer impossible thing to imagine..."

Max closed his eyes. Of course...

"Well, I don't know what you've heard about my methods, but let me assure you this belongs in the past," he said, trying hard not to sound angry. How came people just wouldn't forget about it? But then, it had been his own fault. He didn't mind back when and had never wasted a thought about how it must have looked to other people.

"I am not meaning to judge, don't worry about that," Mr. Pembroke answered. "But as I was going to say I wish to help you out of this..."

"You what?"

"I want to finance your show... I guess that helps you out of the many problems that occur whenever a financial squeeze like that happens."

"You want to...what?" Max wasn't sure if he understood him right. "You want to invest in my show?"

"Is that so hard to believe?"

"Well, I hope you won't find that question odd but why me?" Max asked.

"I thought you might ask that," he jeered. "Well, the truth is I always admired your shows and why not help a famous producer working on 'my street'. I guess that's how you put it, right?"

"Well, what can I say?" Max felt so light all of a sudden. This could solve all of their problems. It was exactly the miracle he had been hoping for. And he couldn't wait to tell Leo. "Thank you so much."

"Ah, no need to thank me. I wish for you and your partner...as far as I've heard you're not working alone anymore?!...to come to my office, let's say tomorrow at twelve. We can discuss the exact amount of what you need then..."

"Certainly, Sir."

"Oh, and one more thing...," the man stated. "If I give you the money you need I don't want you to work with that DeBris production team anymore..."

"...What?" Surely he must have misunderstood him right now.

"Well, you become quite famous using the same team over and over again. But to tell you the truth and I suppose you as a smart business man agree on that, I don't think people like you or me should tolerate these...sick creatures more than they should!"

"Sick creatures?"

"Oh, don't tell me you haven't noticed," Mr Pembroke laughed out loud. "The unnatural way of their behavior? As far as I know Mr. DeBris doesn't make a secret out of his perverted affection toward men. This is not how it should be and I certainly do not wish people like that work in something that includes me."

Max was speechless. He couldn't really mean that.

"I...er...," he stammered.

"I guess it's not bad for you to be around normal people for once as well. I can only imagine the disgust you must have felt next to their kind..."

"Well..."

"It's my only condition. No perverts in my theater... If you agree, I am more than willing to see you and your partner tomorrow and discuss the rest."

Fuck! This was bad. Max never suspected that theater-guru to be a homophobic. And just cutting Roger, Carmen and the rest off? How on earth was he supposed to do that? And why the hell did he really think about it? They were friends. Almost family. He shouldn't even think about anything like that. But then, Leo crossed his mind again.

How tired he was lately and how desperate he tried to find a way out of that misery.

"I owe him," Max thought. "He's done so much for me. And I can't think of anything else to do but accepting that more than generous offer. I guess Roger will understand..."

"We're delighted to meet you tomorrow," he answered after a while.

"Good," the man answered. "Then settled it is. It will be my pleasure to see you tomorrow."

Max hung up the phone and kept on staring at it for what seemed an eternity. He did agree. He didn't know what to think. They would never forgive him. But then again, he did it for a good reason. He just couldn't give up on all around them.

"No, but giving up on them is an option?!"

He nearly laughed at his own words. He didn't even believe himself.

Looking around he slowly walked over to the desk again and switched the lights off.

He almost tiptoed over to the bedroom and silently opened the door.

Leo was asleep already. Gee, he must really have been exhausted. His brown hair fell casually over the pillows and he had his blanket pulled up to his nose.

How peaceful he looked.

Max remained in the door-frame and observed him while his mouth lifted to a slight smile.

But then, another thought crossed his mind. What if his generous investor found out about him and Leo? Sure, they weren't as obvious as Roger and Carmen per say but it'd cause some trouble for sure. Surprisingly a lot of people around them hadn't noticed until now and they never felt like telling them openly. But he knew for sure Leo didn't intend to hide anything. The more he thought about it Max was certain he didn't want it either. And keeping a relationship a secret sounded much easier than it was.

He knew how most people reacted. But he always thought the theater was one of the rare fields of work no one cared whether his opposite was straight or gay or whatever.

Max moved over to Leo and sat down at the edge of the bed. He lifted his hand to stroke gently across Leo's cheeks.

"This is a problem...," he thought.

~to be continued~


	2. The decision

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Whoa, I am sorry... This took terribly long, I know. I've been a little busy, so sorry.
> 
> Anyway, as usual I'm following a path with this, so I hope it's not too confusing.
> 
> The last part is highly inspired by the song "Best worst mistake" from the musical If/Then.

„And he really wants to invest in our show?"

Leo stood in their kitchen thunderstruck. He stroked through his ruffled hair and didn't believe what he'd just heard.

"Well, that's awesome," he said. "It's the solution we've been searching for."

He seemed to cheer up on the good news Max had been telling him more and more. Or maybe it was because he really woke up just now. After all, it was early yet.

"Yeah," Max answered without looking at Leo but staring out of the window. He should tell him. Keeping the conditions a secret appeared to be rather unfair. The old Max would have done something like that but he wasn't who he had been anymore. He simply told Leo everything. Then why was this so hard to do? And after all, it was Leo.

How long he'd been staring out of the window without really focusing anything, he didn't know. But he winced for a second as he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned around again and looked into Leo's face, who snuggled a little closer to him.

"Alright...," Leo said. "What is it?"

Max tried to avoid his look and looked down smiling. "What do you..."

"No! Don't!" Leo interrupted him, shaking his head and smiling. "I know you long enough. I can see something is disrupting you. And I see only two possibilities why... So, either you don't want to tell me or you are somehow not able to. Whatever it is, it's okay. But don't think I didn't notice!"

Max shook his head. "I don't..."

He had to laugh at the absurdity of this situation. Leo knew. Of course. How could he expect anything else. It felt so pretentious to assume he'd be the only one being able to read Leo's mind. After all this time he must have learned to do it, too. And even though it was a little strange to figure out he'd completely lost his self-defense to Leo, it made him smile as well for just being too scared to tell him. "I'm beginning to act just like he normally would," Max thought, before looking up to Leo again, who still held on to him tightly.

"Well, it doesn't matter," he heard Leo's voice. Looking a little bewildered, Max turned his head a little only to find his partner smiling and even though he held his eyes closed, looking quite pleased.

"If you agreed I'm pretty sure everything's just fine. And," he opened his eyes again. "You did what we couldn't accomplish together. I knew you would be able to find a way out of this."

Max sighed. This was even worse.

"Leo...," he began but hesitated, looking into the trusting eyes of the younger man. Again he gasped slightly. "He... he wants me to...to get rid of our 'usual team' as he put it."

He spoke very fast and didn't dare to look at Leo after admitting this. And the stunned silence coming from his direction didn't really encourage Max to do so either. He could sense Leo's eyes on him. And, as funny as it might seemed, he wished Leo would say something. Anything. Yet, he feared the accusations which were certain to follow all the same.

"Our team?" Leo asked after what seemed like hours. Still he wouldn't let go of Max or step back. He remained where he was, leaning his head against his partner, and spoke surprisingly soft.

"Means Roger?"

"And Carmen," Max nodded. "And the rest of the DeBris-house. All of them."

"Does he want us to recast actors as well?" Leo asked.

Max shook his head. "No. It's just them."

"I see," Leo said and let go of Max, who didn't dare to turn at first. But something about that unfamiliar silence coming from Leo made him feel more uneasy than ever. He'd expected everything from screams to panics, yet Leo chose to continue his almost deafening reticence.

He shook his head as if to shake away his own thoughts and finally looked up. Leo had moved to the door-frame and had his back turned on him. He still didn't say anything.

"Leo?"

But the younger man only shook his head.

"No, please!" Leo answered. It gave Max goosebumps when he turned around and smiled at him as if nothing had happened. "I understand. Just... Let me think about this for a moment."

Not waiting for an answer Leo moved out of the kitchen and vanished from Max's sight, leaving him feeling even more guilty.

….

"You want me to...what?" Roger asked outraged.

"Would you please keep it down?" Max asked, looking around a little nervous. He'd been afraid Roger would make a scene. But what did he expect? He had thought about how to tell him best, but hadn't been able to think of anything else but go like a bull at a gate. And now Roger was screaming. He couldn't even blame him.

"Keep it down?" he asked. "Why should I? What do you mean anyway? You want to get a new director? We're in the middle of production!"

"I know that," Max replied silently.

"What is this nonsense about then?" Roger screamed and Max knew perfectly well all of the people on and off stage were staring by now. He tried his very best to avoid any of them, but felt unable to look at Roger as well.

"I ..well, I think... We should try something else. Just for once," he answered quietly. What a lie. Roger would never believe it. And just as predicted he started a tirade of accusations and disgust, loud enough for everyone on Broadway to hear. Max frowned. He was only half listening. He was convinced not to tell Roger the real reason for his decision but only to safe him from the very obvious homophobic attack coming from his newest backer. He blamed himself for doing this to Roger. After all he was his friend. Friends don't do something like that to one another, right?

But then again, he did it for all of them. The money Mr. Pembroke had agreed to give him was enough to finish the production and Max was determined to pay them off anyway. But he couldn't tell them. Not yet.

Max sighed. He wished Leo was by his side. He somehow felt much more comfortable with the younger man standing next to him, yet Leo hadn't come out of his room ever since he told him that morning. Max had asked him whether he would accompany him to Pembroke's office but he hadn't answered.

So, Max kept the appointment himself and even back with the old guy he'd felt horrible agreeing on something like that.

Maybe it had been a good thing that Leo hadn't been there with him though. If Mr. Pembroke had seen them together, they'd have revealed themselves for sure. Max was aware of the little ways and gestures; even touches they exchanged from time to time. Most people didn't notice but someone who was that much against two guys being together was bound to notice.

But Leo hadn't shown up in theater until now. He surely was mad at him. And Max couldn't blame him either. Yet, he wished for him to be here right now more than ever. Leo just had a ways to let himself stay calm.

"...Irresponsible and cowardly... Betrayal..."

Max looked up again. Roger was still beyond upset. And he noticed Carmen had joined him and as always seemed to know pretty well what this was about.

"Max, do you even know what you are doing?" he asked between Roger's bellow.

"I...er...," Max couldn't answer.

"Oh for heaven's sake," Roger said. "Stop that god damn stuttering and answer for once. Why do you want to get rid of us all of a sudden?"

"Well,..."

"And please, the real reason!"

Roger and Carmen simultaneously folded their arms and stared at him reproachfully.

Max took a deep breath, skipping through a thousand excuses at once but none of them seemed to fit.

"It was my idea!"

The three of them whirled around.

Leo was walking up to them, avoiding Max's eyes but staring directly into Roger's.

"Mr Bloom?"

Leo nodded. "I found it was time to try something new. We seem pretty stuck with this production, so I figured a new approach would be helpful!"

Carmen and Roger stared at him wide-eyed. They didn't seem to know what to say.

Then Carmen approached him slowly.

"Leo... You?" he asked as if not believing his own words.

"Yes, me!" Leo answered. He spoke very clear and determined and didn't take his gaze down.

"So...," Roger spoke again and cleared his throat. "Why didn't Max tell us in the first place?"

"Can't you imagine?" Leo asked. "He tried to protect me. He wanted to start a hare and to avoid your anger on me. But it's absolutely not okay to scream at him for this. It was my idea! And before you start again, please accept it. Just this once. I guarantee you...," he cast a short look to Max who didn't dare to say anything, then returned to Roger and Carmen. "It won't happen again. We'll continue the way we always have...AFTER this show."

Max wanted to say something. He wanted to jump into that self-sacrifice and set things right, but before he could even open his mouth Roger took Carmen's arm and nodded towards Leo.

"I see," he said. "We'll go!"

Thus did he move past Leo, pulling Carmen along. The slender man stopped next to Leo for a short moment, looking furious as well.

"I hope you are proud!" he said quietly; then continued his way out of the theater. Kevin, Scott and all the others followed them immediately.

Max closed his eyes and simply turned his head to the ground as they passed him while Leo was staring straight ahead, looking more than serious and giving the impression of not blinking anymore.

The theater was quiet after all of them vanished. Too quiet. Max felt his own heartbeat. It sounded like thunder echoing from the walls back to him. He turned after what seemed like hours to find Leo still staring into space.

"Thank you," he whispered but wasn't sure if Leo got it. The younger man shook his head, turned as well and headed for the door as well. Max looked after him and held his breath. He wanted to scream and shout. He wanted to run after him. He wanted to break his godforsaken silence and show him he was sorry and grateful and everything in between. But he simply remained where he was.

Until Leo stopped and turned around.

"Are you coming?" he asked.

Apparently, Max must have looked pretty stupefied for Leo simply shrugged.

"Since no one is here anymore, we should try to find a new crew as quick as possible," he said.

Max nodded and silently followed Leo out of the theater.

…..

The ride home wasn't better either. Leo sat with his legs crossed and his arms folded and stared out of the cab's window. He neither said anything nor did he move one muscle. Max looked at him from time to time and thought about speaking up but always lost heart. He didn't know what to say anyway. So, after casting one more look at Leo from the corner of his eyes he sighed once and leaned his head against the window as well. He was sure he did ruin everything. He never should have taken that offer. But they hadn't been able to find a way out of the financial crisis that had come upon them. And for once he didn't do it for the money. He remembered it clearly. He did it for Leo. He didn't want him to work endless nights and didn't sleep anymore while worrying about their future all the same. He simply couldn't endure to see him like that. He wanted him to be safe and carefree.

And somehow, Leo managed to confirm Max's thoughts of him being the most astounding person he had ever met by reversing everything Max wanted to be for him in just four words.

'It was my idea.'

He shouldn't have done that. The longer he thought about it, the more he was convinced this was true.

"How long will this go on?"

Max looked around once more. Leo was still sitting motionless, staring out of the window, yet he'd just broken that silence.

"What?"

Finally, Leo turned his head.

"Will you stop feeling guilty now and talk to me?" He asked.

"I...," Max took a breath. "I wish you hadn't done that."

Leo now stared directly at him but Max couldn't read what he was thinking in his face as he usually was able to.

"It was my mistake," Max continued. "So I think you shouldn't have jumped in for me. The last thing I wanted to achieve is Roger and Carmen being mad at you for something I did."

"Never mind," Leo said but didn't put any emotions into his voice.

When the cab stopped and he payed the driver and minutes later they found themselves on the stairs up to the office again.

Max started to wonder a bit. He had never seen Leo so cold. If only he spoke about what was on his mind. He didn't seem to be satisfied with their little cab-ride conversation at all.

"Leo?" he asked while opening the door. Leo walked past him inside but stopped after hanging up his coat looking at him with burning eyes.

"Are you angry?" Max asked, yet knew at the very same moment his question was stupid.

Leo on the other hand sighed and shook his head. "No, not angry... It's just... You know what this decision means, right?"

"What?"

Leo's face turned blankly. Again, he just shook his head and started to laugh. A shudder run down Max's body hearing this.

"What's so funny?"

"It's just...," Leo still laughed. "You...!"

"Me?"

"Yeah...," He suddenly stopped his frantic laughter and turned completely serious again, looking almost furious. "You just don't get it!"

He turned his back on Max and reached for the kitchen in wide steps. Max however, jumped after him. He felt foolish. Why would he let that boy treat him like that?

"Wait," he said. "What do you mean?... Leo! Will you please stop? What do I not get?"

"Max?" He stopped so suddenly, Max almost bumped into him. "This man. He is the most homophobic guy around as you can easily find out by just doing a bit of research. He is the co-founder of that anti-gay movement we heard so much about lately. He is bound to cause a lot of trouble and if you think kicking Roger and Carmen out was hard... Believe me, this is only the beginning."

"What?"

So that's why Leo hadn't been around all day. He must have researched on the whole Pembroke-industry.

"What were you thinking?" Leo continued. His voice was shaking although he spoke very calmly. "Saying yes to this condition? What about Roger? Or Carmen? Or the rest of them? Is this fair?"

"No, but..."

"But? But what?" Leo interrupted him. "They won't find out? Do you really think you can hide his name? Even though he is just an investor. God, this guy owns half of Broadway. They will find out! And don't you think they don't know that little fact about him. They are not stupid, Max! They will be able to count that together!"

Leo was about to leave him again but Max blocked his way quickly.

"So what?" he said. "Don't you think I thought about that before? You said it yourself. This is the solution we needed. How could I possibly have turned that offer down?"

"And what about them, Max? They are friends. Almost family. Is this how we treat people all of a sudden?"

"Why are they so damn important to you all of a sudden? It's not like we got rid of them forever. It's just one production. Nothing that serious! And if that Pembroke feels uncomfortable having some gays around, so what? Friendship never influenced the professional aspects of a job!"

"Some gays?" Leo looked at him with a lack of comprehension. "What do you think are we then?"

"Oh, come on... I didn't mean... It's not...It's not the same and you know it," Max answered.

"It's not?" Leo folded his arms once more. "What is it then? Be so kind and explain this to me!"

Max stared at him for a moment. God damn it! First of all they were not... And they didn't...

He hesitated. The more he thought about it he couldn't find any plausible reason why their relationship was any different. After all, they were two guys. And yes, they lived together and yes, they were a couple. He even had to admit most of the people they usually worked with knew. It seemed Leo was right. There was no difference. He never thought about it before but he had to admit they were part of that party as well. Why the hell did he say it then?

"I ...er...," Looking into Leo's angry face didn't make it better. That stare... He managed to look right through him and he knew it. He hated when Leo did that. It felt like not being able to have his thoughts for himself anymore.

"Max?"

He looked into Leo's eyes again.

"Touch me!"

Max didn't think he got that right. "What?"

"You heard me," he answered and didn't take his eyes off of Max.

Max on the other hand held his breath. What was that about? Did he lose his mind? This had nothing to do with the argument they just had. Yet he thought about just doing it to end this nonsense but just as that thought crossed his mind he was determined he wouldn't do it. This proved nothing.

Unfortunately, Leo noticed his hesitation and shook his head again.

"You can't... I knew it," he grinned knowingly.

"I can't?"

"Let me ask you something," Leo said quite calm again. "Are you ashamed of admitting me in your life?"

"What are you talking about? What makes you think...," Max started, but was interrupted once more.

"You let someone like that Pembroke into our lives and have no recognizable guilt stabbing very close friends of us in the back just because of the fact they are gay, although you just noticed you are yourself. And it's been weeks since you last thought about sharing a little intimacy let alone leaving just one nice word for me," Leo said. "To be quite honest, it leaves me wondering. If you changed your mind concerning this relationship it's okay. Just...let me know... Or at least give me a little clue."

Max let out a short laugh. "You're being ridiculous!"

This time he turned and tried to get away. Leo was definitely out of his mind. How could he think something like that?

"Just tell me," Leo said, following him.

"I did this for you, for God's sake!" Max whirled around. "I couldn't see you working yourself to death, being without sleep for weeks and worrying all the time about us although this shouldn't be your concern. I just wanted you to be okay. And yes, I noticed this guy meant trouble but what do you suggest me to do? Do you honestly expect me to witness you getting at the end of your tether and not doing anything about it? If you really think this is abandoning a relationship, fine! I just thought it's what people do. Taking care of each other!"

"Why don't you ever say it then?" Leo asked.

"Say what?"

"Say that you love me. Just for once," Leo looked at him with big eyes. He seemed to be surprised at Max's confession; up to a certain amount at least.

"I thought I did," Max answered much quieter now.

"You never do. And I just wanna know why."

"I'm not..."

"Then say it!"

Max laughed again but more out of uncertainty. This was stupid.

"I knew it," Leo grinned. "You can't. Why? What are you so damn afraid of? Of someone might noticing?"

"No!"

"I thought we agreed on not giving a shit about what people think?"

"Yes, we did!"

"Then dare it. It won't hurt you. Just man up for once," Leo just wouldn't let go.

"Why is this so important?" Max asked, looking at his partner who was so close now. It made him feel trapped somehow. "I said it before...And I never said I don't love you. And I definitely don't act like I don't care. I think of you most of the time anyway."

"Oh no, that doesn't count," Leo grinned. This time he meant it. Max could tell. Somehow this silly argument seemed to amuse a lot. "Don't be afraid. If I am not why are you? It doesn't suit you at all."

"What about this man finding out then?" Darn. Only after the question left his mouth Max noticed he indirectly admitted Leo's suggestion to be true.

"Who cares? You never know what happens. You could lose a backer, lose that one show. Hell, you could even lose your reputation. But does that matter? Everything can happen. Maybe he won't even notice. And even if... You still got all you need. Please, dare it for once. Do not guard your feelings forever. Just dive in."

Max sighed. "I know..."

He stared into the big eyes of the one person that meant so much to him and felt the wall around himself break more and more.

"It feels so cliché," he responded after a moment and felt his face getting hot. "Why do I have to speak about everything I feel? Some things just need no words."

"Others do!"

"And what would that be? You are awesome? Sweet? The only person to light up this gray life?" Max asked and knew he sounded very sarcastic. "Do you want me to beg on my knees? Crying to never leave me? We both know things like that can happen. So it's better to make the best out of the time we're given."

Leo still grinned.

"Go on!"

"Still not enough?" Max couldn't help it. That grin was infecting and he felt his mouth lifting into a smile again. He closed his eyes and lowered his head a little. "Want me to get more pathetic? You're the best decision I ever made. You're the one. Please, be mine!"

"I knew it," Leo laughed.

"You're confusing me today," Max answered, opening his eyes again. "You knew what?"

"You're still in love," Leo smiled at him and Max felt himself blushing a little more. Then he started to laugh as well.

"You believed that?" he asked tenderly.

"I know you," Leo answered delightedly. "I mean every word. And I know you do too."

"You do?"

"I love you!"

"I love you!"

A second later Max stared at Leo with wide eyes, while Leo started to giggle. Max felt caught somehow but couldn't find a reason to be angry with Leo anymore.

"You tricked me into saying that," he said quietly and sat down on the leather couch in the middle of the office. Leo sat down next to him, still grinning.

"You can't take it back," he said kissing him on the cheek. "It's okay. But please, don't forget it."

Thus did he snuggle a little closer to Max, resting his head on his chest and closed his eyes. They sat there for a while, neither of them saying a word. Leo just listened to Max's breathing while Max stoked through Leo's hair with his hand. He was relieved somehow. This was more the Leo he knew and, yes he had to admit it, loved.

He put his head softly onto Leo's and enjoyed the peace of the moment. Leo had been right. Again. He had worked and worried too much lately as well. He had almost forgotten how good it felt just to have him close to himself.

"Leo?" he said softly. "Let's make sure he doesn't find out. He cannot destroy this here."

~To be continued~


	3. The extend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hm, not much to say really... Except for: Thank you so much for the kind reviews. I always feel like a child at Christmas reading them (especially since I mainly write for myself and am thrilled to see so many others are reading my stuff) ^_^ You are awesome :-)
> 
> Anyway, enjoy ;)

Unfortunately, Leo turned out to be right about quitting Roger and Carmen had been only the beginning. All kinds of requirements needed to be fulfilled and somehow it didn't feel like seriously working on 'their play' anymore. No more colorful settings, no more ambiguous lyrics, no more 'glitter and be gay' as Roger loved to call it a hundred times before. It felt so strange. People got used to their way of working; they both agreed about that. But completely changing something that might have worked out with their crew and cast in such a crass way made them sense how serious this actually turned out to be. It kind of resembled a survival. And not only a survival in their function as Producers but more a "Face-the-storm-and-cover-everything-important-from-it" kind of survival.

They tried hard not to let anything from their private lives show. Not a hint at their actual connection with each other should reach Pembroke's awareness. Hence they subconsciously let him bend them wherever he liked. They weren't really able to do anything against it if they wanted to keep their secret hidden from that old bastard, as Leo recently liked to call him.

He hated this 'hide-and-coop' which now had become their daily routine. Never had he dreamed of having to deny who he was in front of someone. Sure, he could be pretty introverted and scared and inconspicuous, but he'd never lied about who he was. And this charade caused a tension he hadn't felt in ages and admittedly never wanted to feel again.

He was hardly able to talk to Max during the days. Whenever they had to discuss anything Max would skimp the conversation to a minimum out of fear they'd fall back into old patterns.

And Leo knew perfectly well what he was afraid of. He knew their ways of talking to each other, looking into one another's eyes maybe a slight second too long or even the many times during a day either of them would try to streak the other's body in any way just to feel their touch.

Leo was aware all these little gestures would reveal them immediately but as the days went on he missed them more than anything.

Pembroke watched them with eagle's eyes, almost as though he sensed something. Leo kept telling himself this was only in his head though. Maybe he was getting too paranoid, but he was pretty certain the old investor simply didn't trust him or couldn't stand him or maybe both. When he'd finally met him face to face he'd seemed to disapprove a lot that Leo hadn't been with Max the day they discussed the financial parts of their deal and even though Leo kindly explained he'd been having another appointment and had apologized for the inconvenience, Mr. Pembroke had seemed to see this as a very bad start. However, he was very fond of Max. Whenever he had something to reject he would only address him; even if Leo stood beside him. All of this cause a sulkiness without precedent on Leo's side. He didn't even know if Max felt the same. He said so, of course, but he was much better in hiding it than Leo was. Conversely, the moments he could kick himself for doubting Max's words grew more and more.

And although Max returned to be the one he knew in the evenings when they finally managed to get back home without letting it shine through they lived together and tried his very best to make his partner feel better about the situation, Leo felt enormously tired most of the time and usually fell asleep on the couch pretty soon so they could hardly use the little time they still had together anymore.

Still, Leo played along. He had no other choice. And he couldn't bust them. He was determined to stay with his decision to follow Max through this, just as he was also well aware that he only agreed to Pembroke's utterly impossible demands for him.

Yet Leo felt alone somehow. And he wished once more he could just talk to anybody about it. Anyone who knew. He wished Roger and Carmen weren't mad at him but ever since he took the blame they didn't attempt to contact them anymore. And Leo wished he could just set things right but even that was impossible without ruining everything. The whole situation was just cursed!

Whenever the opportunity came along Max looked over to Leo from the corner of his eyes. This just felt so wrong. They sat miles away from each other; or at least so it felt. And it seemed this cliff was getting bigger each day.

"He's a little strange, isn't he?"

Max flinched a little and immediately stared straight ahead again when he heard Pembroke's voice behind him. He tried hard to focus on whatever was going on on stage and hoped the older man wouldn't have noticed.

"You think?" He asked silently, acting as though he was taking notes of something, yet prayed Pembroke would not dare to read them.

"Yes, yes," The old guy said and pulled out the chair next to Max, sitting down and moving closer.

He bent his head over to him and spoke very quietly. "I mean you must have noticed!"

"N-Noticed?" Max turned to stare at him wide-eyed. He did not have the slightest clue what Pembroke could possibly mean.

"Oh, don't tell me you haven't. First of all he is not very communicative," He started. "And he seems tense somehow. Always. Almost like a nervous wreck. I really don't see why you chose someone like him as a partner in business!"

Max held his breath for a second just to focus on what he could possibly reply to that. Damn it! This felt like being trapped.

He took one deep breath.

"I assure you he is one of the best in his job. He won't disappoint you, believe me. Who cares if he is quiet? He never talked that much," Max said and immediately wondered if this came too quickly. And if he spoke too fast. And why the heck did that conversation make him so nervous? He reminded himself each day to just stay calm.

"Is that so?" Pembroke didn't seem to have noticed. "Well, if you say so. We'll see. Maybe it's just unusual to see you working with a partner."

"I've worked with him for many years now," Max answered, now a little more confident. "I don't think it's such an unusual picture after all."

"Hm, Maybe you're right," The old man agreed. "Yet, I swear there's something funny about him."

Thus he stood up and was about to leave Max puzzling. The Producer however turned quickly.

"What do you mean?" He fired away. God damn it, Max! Get a grip! He could hardly believe how much this guy could agitate him. He tried to calm down; to relax his face; to not letting anything show.

"Well," Pembroke was pretty calm still. "Don't tell me you haven't noticed this blanket for example? He carries something like a baby blanket around. What is the meaning of this?"

"I...er...," Max stumbled. "I...I don't know!"

Hell, how was he supposed to explain this? The truth? Why not! 'This blanket resembles his mother...' No! He wouldn't understand. Not without explaining the whole story...

"I guess he carries it for luck or something," he said without thinking any further about it.

Pembroke shrugged. "Maybe, you're right! Still, I think h still has to convince me."

He turned again and moved over to the new casting director he had been signing to the project. Someone who immediately started recasting almost every actor they had already been working with in the past months. This had definitely not been part of the deal, yet neither Max nor Leo said anything against it. It was quite obvious Pembroke thought of them to be too much under the thumb of Roger's directions still.

"I honestly wonder how he wants to accomplish this?"

Max turned to find Leo standing some feet behind him, making it look as if he was speaking more to himself than to his partner.

This was just ridiculous. Max got up and joined him, ignoring the confused look on Leo's face.

"What?" Max asked and lowered his voice. "We must be allowed to speak about business, right? Accomplish what?"

Leo stared straight ahead. "A lot of actor's in musical theater are gay. It's not that big a secret. So, how will he manage to get them all out? If he even eliminates those who have simply been working with Roger, he soon won't have that much of a choice."

"Yeah," Max answered. He didn't really know what to say. "Maybe he's planned this. He's done it with his shows all the time as far as I know."

"I don't like it," Leo whispered without looking at him.

"Me neither," Max replied quietly. "But it's not as easy to break a contract than just endure this until after the show."

"Let's hope you are right," Leo said, making Max feel even worse.

"Oh Max!" a voice from behind them called.

Leo and Max both turned, yet Leo's face grew blank in an instance. Mr. Pembroke was approaching them once more and as if choreographed Leo stepped a few more inches away. But he was certain the old guy didn't notice at all. Leo wasn't there for him.

"Oh Max, before I forget," he started and Leo felt like having to vomit when he heard this sweetish tone in his voice and how much he tried to only address Max. "I need a new female lead!"

"What?" Leo and Max asked simultaneously. They never expected this. The leading cast was signed in for weeks. He wouldn't dare to change them on such a short notice.

"But we... she is doing a great job. Why would you want to recast her?" Leo asked without hesitation. And got the effect he wanted. Pembroke for once turned around to him, looking as though someone had just put an insect on his shoulder. A worthless dirty little insect.

"I don't think this is your choice at all, Mr. Bloom," he replied coldly.

"I think it's not necessary either," Max interrupted, seeing Leo's furious face. "Would you please explain this decision?"

This was unbelievable. A backer usually didn't decide things like that, but obviously Mr. Pembroke was used to have it his will. Well, his reputation hurried ahead.

"I don't think this is what we need here," he answered.

Leo and Max cast an omniscient look at one another.

"I think something more...blonde would do," Pembroke continued.

"Blonde?"

"Yes. And a little younger would be fine as well," he said. "Yes. And since you know a lot of people in this business, I'm pretty sure you will be able to find exactly the one we need."

"But Sir...!"

"No, no!" Pembroke grinned at Max, patting him slightly on the shoulder while turning his back completely on Leo. "I am sure you will be able to find what we need here. You see, people are easily attracted by young beautiful women especially when they are blonde. Makes people fantasize about certain things. Woman want to be like them and men see their dreams in front of them. That's what will bring a lot more people to watch this show. A small brunette like the one we have here just won't do!"

He patted Max once more and turned to leave. Leo had turned away completely, so he wouldn't say anything in a rage he would regret later. Max simply followed him with an unbelieving look.

"Oh, and one more thing," said Pembroke as he turned once more. "See that the young lady isn't … one of them!"

He cast yet another dark look at Leo, who obviously didn't notice looking away. But Max noticed and it gave him goosebumps to witness it. Why did he look at him like that? Just to make his point clear?

When the old man was out of earshot Leo turned into Max's direction looking furious. He simply shook his head while not taking his eyes away from him, only to start hurrying out of the theater seconds later. Max stared after him a little perplex before he even noticed he was about to leave. Quickly he grabbed his coat and ran after Leo.

….

"Did you notice that? That tone! He can't fucking be serious," Leo fumed as they left the theater. Max didn't quite know what to say to calm him down. He simply nodded from time to time. And it wasn't even a lie. He completely agreed. And of course he also had noticed how Pembroke reacted towards Leo. Not least because of those strange suggestions he made in front of Max. His words still rang in his head. He thought about telling Leo, but found it was safer not to let him worry about it as well. Surely, it wasn't as serious as it had sounded.

When they finally stopped at a crossroad nearby Max lifted his hand to get a cab, but Leo gently put his hand on his arm to stop him. A little bewildered Max looked at him. He shook his head.

"Let's walk," Leo begged. "Please. I think a little fresh air will soothe this day down a bit."

Max looked into the brown eyes of his partner and nodded. He could never say no when he asked him like that. And he must admit Leo was right. A little walk couldn't harm. This day was over. And he was finally able to have Leo to himself again.

As they walked side by side however none of them said only one word. Leo seemed to be lost in his thoughts and Max didn't know what to do to cheer him up. He knew Leo suffered from this guy. He didn't want all of this in the first place. And Max was aware what he put his partner through only because Leo agreed to follow him in whatever decision he made. But this... He never intended such madness. On the contrary he wanted Leo to be safe; to not having to worry at all. But now it seemed Leo was becoming the main object of hatred in this preposterous game. If only he could think of something to spare him all of this. Or at least make Pembroke have a better opinion of Leo somehow; if possible without making him notice.

He sighed. What a mess.

But just as he wanted to shake his head in resignation he felt a hand softly grabbing his own. He lifted his head. Leo didn't look at him and was pulling his jacket a little higher in the cold evening wind but kept holding his hand tightly in his own.

"Leo?" He stopped him. Leo turned to look him directly in the eyes.

"I'm sorry," Max said. "I never wanted you to go through this."

Leo didn't move but did not let go of his hand either.

"You were right from the beginning," Max continued. "I should never have taken that offer."

"Don't be ridiculous," Leo replied hastily without breaking his constant stare. "It's the only choice we had. There was absolutely no way you could've done anything else."

Max had to smile. Again Leo managed to surprise him.

"And you were right about him getting worse," he said. "Just look at that female lead suggestion. How on earth are we supposed to find a young blonde preferably yesterday. This is impossible. I know it took Roger over a month to find someone suitable."

Gosh, he sounded desperate himself by now. He couldn't even blame Leo for reacting the way he did. The urge to shout and scream was living inside of him as well.

Leo nodded. "You know, I wish we could talk to them."

"Roger and Carmen?"

"Yes," Leo lifted his head to look into the pink evening sky. "I wish we could just explain it to them. They are friends. And as silly as it may sound I miss them. I wish there was someone else who knew. You know. All this hiding really runs me ragged. I figure it'd be easier if we were able to talk to someone without hiding!"

"We still have the evenings," Max answered, but knew pretty well this wasn't what Leo meant. He bid his lips as soon as those words left his mouth.

"After a day like this?" Leo gave a short laugh. "How much is there to have? And we still have to be so careful. I wouldn't doubt he's observing you. I think he's under the impression he can win you for his side."

"You honestly think that?"

"It's not impossible. I doubt he has any clue but...," Leo shrugged. "I hate being closeted. I hate having to watch every step. And more than that I hate being careful how to act in your presence. It's not how it should be."

"No, you're right!"

Max, still holding Leo's hand as well, pulled him closer to himself. Leo on the other hand had an expression of surprise and fear written all over his face. Nevertheless, he instinctively flung his arms around Max's neck as well.

"What are you doing?" he whispered a little panicking. "What if anyone sees?!"

Max shook his head. "Then let them see! Let's worry about that if we're certain it happened."

He bend forward, gently pulling Leo yet a little closer until he felt his lips touching those of his partner. He could feel his breath on his own skin and felt like melting away, inhaling the familiar smell of Leo who didn't fight him at all. No, he had his eyes closed and gently responded to that unexpected kiss, stroking through Max's hair with one hand while their lips almost hungrily danced around each other.

Leo felt like falling. For a moment time stood still and he wished he could always live in exactly that moment.

But suddenly Leo let go of him rather quickly and earned a confused look from Max.

"You know what?" He grinned. "I think I can help you!"

"What?"

"You'll see," Leo blinked at him, grabbed his arm and started running down the familiar streets, pulling Max with him.

"Leo? Where are you going?" He heard him ask.

"You'll see!" Leo repeated.

They literally ran down the streets with Leo leading the way. Max simply followed him for he had not the slightest idea where he was heading to. After crossing some streets and turning into the long parallel streets he almost lost orientations. Max was sure he'd hardly ever been here before, yet Leo seemed to know exactly where he wanted to go.

Finally he stopped, causing Mac to almost bumping into him.

"What was that about?" he asked looking around.

They were standing in front of a small seemingly insignificant diner at the corner of two roads. Max was looking around, then turning to eye the small restaurant a little closer. He couldn't see whatever should help them here. But before he could ask anymore, Leo grinned at him and gestured to go inside before starting to walk again.

Max shook his head but grinned too and followed him.

The diner didn't look any more special from the inside than it did from the outside. There were several tables standing at the huge windows surrounded by benches covered in red leather. A long Counter stood at the other side opposite to the windows and was divided by a swinging door obviously leading to the kitchen. Two or three waitresses were busy serving the few guests inside and they looked exactly like one would imagine by seeing this diner for the first time; wearing yellow dresses with white aprons. Max looked over to Leo a little confused but his partner was obviously searching for something or someone, following every waitress with his eyes.

"Excuse me?" he heard him say as he marched towards one of them; a small chubby girl with her brown hair tied to a bun on top of her head. She stopped immediately, giving Leo the widest grin Max had ever seen.

"I'm looking for a waitress, who...er... works here. Or used to. I don't know if that's still the case," he said. "Unfortunately I don't know her name. But she was a little taller than you are with curly blonde hair at shoulder-length. She said she did a lot of night-shifts..."

"Ah yes! Sounds like Diane," the girl answered.

"Is there any chance she is here?" Leo asked, but got a rather doubting look from the chubby girl.

"Possibly. But you see, I cannot let a perfect stranger who describes her like every second girl on the street see her," she answered and tried hard to still sound polite. "It appears to be a little dangerous, don't you think?"

"Yes, you are perfectly right," Leo responded, scratching his head in abashment. He actually didn't believe something like this was possible. "But, you know she knows me..."

"I've heard that a hundred times over," the girl answered, nodding knowingly.

"Please, it's important," Leo begged, but it was no use. She just wouldn't move a bit.

"Maybe you can think about it again," Max joined the party, handing her a small bundle of bank-notes. Leo looked at him in disbelief. Max however just raised his hand, meaning him not to say anything. The girl seemed to bite. She stared at the money for a second, then quickly grabbed it and put it into her belt bag. She turned and moved through the swinging door, vanishing into the kitchen.

"A waitress?" Max asked doubtingly.

Leo however kept on grinning at him. "You'll understand."

Seconds later the kitchen door swung open again and the chubby girl appeared again, pulling a slightly taller blonde girl along with her.

"No!" they heard her say. "Lucy! I cannot meet with any guest who just gets this strange idea of meeting me because he saw me once!" She could not finish her complaint, for as she looked up she stopped petrified.

Leo's grin broke into a wide smile. She started to smile as well, whereas Max and Lucy simply looked confused from one to another.

"I don't believe it,"she said, moving closer and without any warning hugging Leo tightly. "Mr. Sad-Eyes! Why, I never thought I'd see you again!"

Leo replied that hug gently. "I know. I'm sorry. I should have thanked you a lot earlier."

Max didn't understand a word. Leo obviously knew that woman and owed her...whatever. He never once mentioned her before. Max was certain of that, even though he searched for a clue in the farthest corner of his memory. But no. A waitress didn't ring any bells.

"Listen," Leo started anew. "I know this is a little weird, but do you have a moment to spare?"

She looked around, then nodded. "I think that's possible."

They sat down at a table in the last corner of the diner, so they could speak.

Max still had no clue what this was about but he was curious to find out about their connection.

"So, Mr. Sad-Eyes," she started. "What can I do for you after...a year now is it?" She grinned.

Leo nodded. "A little more. But please, Diane, is it? My name's Leo Bloom and this is my business-partner Max Bialystock. We're here to..."

But he couldn't finish his sentence for Diane started to nearly scream in excitement.

"No way! You are kidding me!" Her eyes grew wider.

Leo looked at Max a little taken aback. Max simply shrugged.

"Bloom? Bialystock and Bloom?" she asked as though she couldn't believe it. "You are those Broadway producers?"

"Erm...Yes," Leo replied hesitantly.

"Oh my God," she grinned. "I am sorry... But I can't believe it. I've seen almost all your shows! Heaven's if I'd known who you were a year ago, I wouldn't have talked so much nonsense."

She obviously seemed to remember that just now and blushed, taking her eyes away from him.

"Well, I am more than happy you did," Leo smiled, which seemed to calm her down a little.

"So, your name is Leo? Gosh... Believe me there hadn't been one day I wasn't thinking of you... It felt so strange somehow having spent a whole night with you and not knowing your name."

Max now looked more confused than ever, turning his head interrogatively into Leo's directions. Diane however seemed to notice what he was thinking and before Max was able to say anything she added: "Oh no! I'm sorry, that sounded wrong. He was here. In that diner about a year ago and seemed just shattered. We talked the whole night. You've had some trouble with your girl-friend back then, right?"

"Girl-friend?" Max asked quietly.

"Yeah," she continued. "And then suddenly he jumped up. He seemed so determined to fight for the one he loved and left without having told me who he was."

Max looked over at Leo again and didn't quite know what to say. He could see the picture now and he thought he understood. This realization made him chuckle whereas Leo started to blush a little and tried to hush him.

"Anyway...," his voice was a little louder now. This situation obviously was embarrassing for him as well. "I think a thank you is overdue."

"You did thank me!"

"No, I don't mean that," Leo said. "To be quite honest it's not just the attempt to repay you for what you did for me... I...We... sort of need your help! You told me you were an actress, right?"

Ah, so that was what this was all about. Max now understood what Leo intended; what he was searching for in this diner. He looked at Diane again. If she indeed was able to play properly she would be perfect. A slender blonde young girl. Everything fitted.

"Yes," she replied. "I tried to make my way but as I told you it didn't work out for me. So, I ended up as a waitress."

"Listen, would you like to try?" Leo asked.

They could watch her turning pale.

"Diane," Max finally said something. "We would like to offer you a job!"

….

When they finally stepped out of the diner again the pink evening sky started to turn from a dark purple to a bluish-black already and a few illuminated spots gave the illusion of stars in the nightly atmosphere.

Leo stretched himself, inhaling the cold night air deeply. He felt a lot better. He never thought this would work out but Diane accepted their offer and so one problem was gone. Max wouldn't get into trouble and he even managed to see her again. No, not only see her again but also had he been able to get to know her a little more and at least make it up to her in any way.

"So, Mr. Sad-Eyes," Max grinned as he stepped beside him. "How come you never told me about her before?"

Leo grinned as well. "To be quite honest, I forgot. I feel a little ashamed myself, but she ...well, she helped me a lot... back when..."

"When you had been leaving," Max nodded. "I am able to count that together."

He had to laugh. But to his relief Leo did as well. This was so long ago. Max had never asked him about his whereabouts, but he remembered that night like no other. A night in which Leo vanished after a fight and their whole history was reborn; if one looked at it in a more sentimental way.

"So, did I get this right? I am your girl-friend?" Max asked teasingly.

"Do you expect me to tell every stranger in a diner I am with a man?" Leo asked in return.

Max nodded again. "You got a point there."

They walked a bit of the way but then decided it had been enough change of air for one evening and called for a cab to get back to their apartment.

"I must admit this was brilliant," Max said as they closed the door behind them about half an hour later. "You did take a big burden away from us just by thinking about that girl. I'm almost happy you never told me about her."

"Yeah, but as I said it was way overdue," Leo smiled. "I wanted to thank her for an eternity. She was the reason I noticed how terribly wrong I had been."

Max smiled. Leo couldn't be wrong. He never was before, at least not in his eyes.

But of course, Leo noticed he was staring at him and blushed slightly.

"What?" he asked quietly.

Max shook his head and sat down on the couch. "I just thought what an idiot that Pembroke is to think he could underestimate you. That's exactly the reason why."

"Why what?"

"Why he won't find out," Max said.

"I cannot guarantee," Leo answered and sat down beside him. "We should not underestimate him."

Thus, he snuggled a little closer to Max who put his arm around him as he rested his head on his chest.

"After all, we're alone now," Leo added in a whisper, wishing once more he was better in hiding his emotions, but even he himself noticed that sad tone in his own voice. He didn't intend for Max to hear it but he put his fingers gently underneath Leo's chin, forcing him to look up into his eyes. He bend forward kissing him once more and this time none of them had to be afraid of anyone might watching them. Leo reached out and softly took Max's head into his hands, pulling him just closer until he almost lay on top of him without breaking their kiss. Only when Leo was about to unbutton his shirt Max pulled away.

"What is it?" Leo asked.

His partner simply looked at him for a moment and smiled slightly.

"You know, I thought about what you said," Max said. "About being closeted and alone... Again, you were right. I think we should talk to Roger and Carmen. Try to explain what happened."

"But Max..." Leo started but Max simply shook his head.

"No, I know," he said. "But I cannot let them be mad at you. It was my fault all along. If at all they should hate me. And if you really miss them, we should set things right."

A wide grin spread over Leo's face once more and Max could read his gratitude in his eyes. But before he could answer anything, he felt Leo's lips on his own again which sent a shiver down his spine. He couldn't imagine to renounce this. Under no circumstances could he give up the person he loved so much, he made him weak in the knees by just kissing him.

It was time to set things right. He swore to himself once that he would never let Leo be the one to suffer from his decisions and he was determined to keep that promise.

But being intoxicated by Leo's smell and feeling almost dizzy from the feeling of Leo's lips on his own and Leo's hand caressing his chest while his other hand continued unbuttoning his shirt, he decided any further thoughts concerning this topic could very well wait until tomorrow.

He only managed to switch of the lamp next to them before no one else but them were alive that night...

~To be continued~


	4. The Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is gonna be longer than I thought :/
> 
> Alrighty, here we go :-) I hate myself hate me for this, but it's part of my "devilish scheme" hehe...
> 
> Anyway, enjoy ;)

„I don't get it," Roger said, looking at an envelope in his hands as he entered the kitchen.

He sat down on the first chair he could grab, reading the tiny writing carefully again and again. Carmen stood nearby with his hands in the sink. He raised his head as Roger entered the room, trying to figure out what he was talking about. He grabbed a towel next to him and slowly moved over to his partner trying not to look too curious.

"What is it? Anyone want money?"

They weren't too fond of new bills arriving, since they needed to bypass the time not working at the moment. Sure, it wasn't that much but Carmen liked to be prepared for every situation and insisted to watch over their money himself.

"Not at all," Roger replied, pulling out a small piece of paper which looked pretty official. "It's a check!"

"A check?" Carmen looked at him puzzling while carefully putting the towel away again. "Who would send something like that?"

"You won't believe that either," Roger said and handed over the paper to Carmen. He took it hastily eying it and for a split second Roger thought he'd never seen the slender man closer to flip over ever before.

"They can't be serious!" he replied after a moment of also reading it again and again. "They can't fucking be serious!"

"Darling, language!" Roger remained a lot calmer than Carmen did.

"How can you stay that calm?" Carmen asked still in rage. "Is this something we have to acquiesce? First they kick us out without any warning. On a whim, just like that. And now they send this! As if we were some kind of beggars. This is unbelievable!"

He threw the envelope on the kitchen table and marched back to the sink, gesturing wildly.

"Yeah, but doesn't that seem a bit odd to you too?" Roger asked, still very calmly sitting. He didn't start move much and only followed Carmen with his eyes. He knew it wasn't effective to interrupt him while he was still ranting.

"Odd?" The younger man whirled around once more. "Oh no! I'd love to tell you what I think this is but that would make me ignore my good education! Who do they think they are?"

Roger shook his head. And Carmen noticed. The feeling of anger he spat out just seconds ago now crumbled its way down his stomach and seeing his partner sitting there -unbelievably cool- made him want to puke for a moment.

He stared at the older man another few minutes and knew there was something going on in his mind. They had been determined to raise a wall around themselves concerning Leo and Max; former friends...They'd agreed especially on the 'former'... Friends didn't do something like that. At least not without a good reason but they hadn't explained anything. But now it seemed exactly that wall began to crumble around Roger and Carmen didn't like the idea of it at all.

Why should he forgive them? This was betrayal. This was an outrage.

But Roger only stared at him without really looking. Carmen could tell. His gaze was piercing him just as though he was transparent.

He shook his head shortly with a furious look in his eyes. Then he left everything where it was and rushed away; not wasting another look at Roger.

This just couldn't be true. He really shouldn't be thinking what he obviously was but Carmen was able to read his mind. And he himself still felt too sold, too betrayed and too much hurt; if he was honest to himself; as to allow that tiny thought of forgiving them inside his mind. Especially Leo. He never thought of the former accountant being able to do something like that. It was almost as though he and Max had changed personalities for a day. No! The Leo Bloom he knew wasn't like that. Max was. Max always had been. And even though his mannerisms hadn't been there for a long time now, Carmen was never sure if he really meant it; equally whether he acted different now. He guessed deep within he'd never really forgiven him that 'Springtime'-fraud.

No, what really shocked him was that Leo seemed to adopt his behavior more and more. And he liked the boy. The more unbelievable was what Leo had done.

"Carmen!" He heard Roger's voice when he was nearly up the stairs.

Furiously he stopped and turned in a very theatrical manner.

"Don't you 'Carmen' me!" He almost screamed. "You know pretty damn well why this cannot be!"

Roger nodded shortly but didn't take his eyes away from Carmen, who held that gaze just the same.

"I know what you are thinking of," he continued. "But doesn't that...I mean all of that...seem a bit strange to you?"

"What the heck do you mean?" Carmen asked, trying hard to keep his anger inside.

"I mean...Come on?! Leo?" Roger said, still staying calm. Usually Carmen envied him for this quality. Oh but how he hated it right now. "Leo would never do something like that. He wouldn't even think about it. And then, he most certainly would have told us about it, apologizing a hundred times over. He seemed way too..."

"Cold!" Carmen nodded without really wanting to.

Roger nodded. "Cold, yeah...," he agreed. "And actually...since when is Leo that kind of rejecting? He didn't even turn when we left."

"My thoughts exactly," Carmen answered and folded his arms. "And that's why I don't think you should take their alms. This is just another try to fool us. Who knows what they have planned this time?"

"This time?"

"Don't tell me you have forgotten about 'Springtime'," Carmen replied and felt his anger rising again. "They did it once. What in heaven's name tells you they're not up to something like it again?"

"Because a lot has changed," Roger said with a seriousness in his voice his partner had hardly heard before. "Something just ain't right here."

"Yeah, I agree," Carmen agreed quietly. "It's Max! It's always him. Leo would never have done anything compared to that. You said it yourself. And we both know who plots such bullshit."

But Roger shook his head, staring into space once more.

"I don't think so," He replied. "It's something else. If it were Max they would never have sent us money."

"If they tried to mock us they would have," Carmen pouted his mouth but finally he stepped down the stairs again slowly. He must admit Roger's arguments made him think.

"You still don't trust him, do you?" He heard Roger's voice and looked up again, standing only inches away from the older man. He didn't move for a moment as if to consider his reaction carefully but then Carmen shook his head, not taking his gaze away.

"Never have, never will," he answered. "I know he's a friend of yours and that's okay. I know Leo loves him and that's okay as well. But I will never understand why."

A slight smile appeared on Roger's face as he listened to him. He knew for years. But he felt grateful for Carmen who finally spilled his guts about it. Of course he had noticed earlier but every time he'd asked him about it Carmen had only shaken his head and told him he was wrong.

Roger reached out and gently stroked through the hair of his love with one hand. And he immediately felt relieved as well when Carmen didn't back away. And he swore he saw a small grin hidden in the corners of that adorable mouth that tried so desperately to stay pouted.

"Maybe you'll understand one day," he said, stepping closer and putting his other hand on Carmen's waist. "Trust me."

"So you wanna talk to them?" Carmen asked now completely quietly while closing his eyes and leaning on Roger's safe body.

"Hm," he heard him. "I think we should."

….

There are few things in the world making one wish for the moment to last. The moment you realize you can stay awake the whole evening; the whole night even because you just recognized you got the next day off and you are able to do whatever pleases you. Or the feeling of total freedom when you walk outside, underneath a clear blue sky with the sunbeams coming through the leaves of the trees surrounding you and blinding you and a slight wind is blowing through your hair. Or the moment you hear the words 'I love you' for the first time coming from someone who actually; or finally; means it.

Leo did search for things to make him happy all his life. Or at least as far he as could remember and he never once thought something like an everlasting moment would happen to him. But he had to admit his list grew longer ever since he'd let someone in his life.

And now, lying beside that person, cuddling up to him was just another of those moments.

He'd missed it. But as much as he hated that hiding they were forced to do lately, the less he thought about it right now.

Max was still asleep and Leo simply watched him, feeling his chest rise and fall. He didn't remember ever having seen him asleep though. Usually he was awake long before Leo was. This was kind of a new experience to him and he noticed in surprise he enjoyed it a lot. Maybe because Max couldn't pretend to be someone he wasn't while he was asleep. He was just, well, himself.

"If only you were brave enough be like that forever," Leo thought, kissing him on the forehead softly.

But to his surprise Max opened his eyes exactly that moment, looking at him as though he didn't notice where he was at first.

Leo smiled and cuddled a little closer watching the strands of his hair mixing with Max's as their foreheads touched and he lifted his hand to feel Max's cheek.

"How long have you been awake?" The older man asked sleepily.

"Long enough," Leo smirked.

He knew Max hated being watched when he couldn't do anything about it and also that this was the very reason why he made sure he always woke up before Leo did. But to Leo's delight he didn't seem to back away either.

"Ain't that a good sign?" he thought by himself and couldn't stop smiling.

"What's so funny?" Max asked without lifting his head, but simply smiling back.

Leo shook his head slightly. "It's nothing," he answered.

Usually he would share his thoughts, but this time he simply decided to keep them close to his chest. To call it his 'own little discovery' which he was determined to keep in that little diary of moments he collected inside his mind. So, he just closed his eyes without losing that smile on his face and felt Max's breath on his skin.

"Can you remember a time this has been otherwise?" he whispered. "I mean you and me..."

"Unfortunately, yes!"

Leo opened his eyes again to find Max stare at him sincerely. And before he could ask anything, he continued: "I remember too well. And that's a memory I'm not exactly embracing."

Leo understood. Max's life had been pretty hard up to the point he didn't want to go on. He told him some time ago but never mentioned anything again. So, Leo knew exactly what he meant.

"But even the fact 'we' are somehow possible," Max said and grinned. "Makes me forgive you to deviously having watched me sleep."

Leo couldn't help but grin as well. "You noticed?"

"When will you get this into your head?" Max asked teasingly. "I notice everything!"

"You do?" Leo raised one eyebrow. "In that case you surely noticed we're about to be very late to Mr. Everyone-But-Me-Is-The-Devil's rehearsal today."

He saw Max tearing open his eyes in less than a second. He started up just as quickly staring at Leo in disbelief.

"Why the hell didn't you wake me then?" he said a little louder now. "Damn!"

Max jumped out of bed in no time and hurried through the office, collecting all kinds of papers and contracts while managing to dress. It went so fast Leo could hardly sit up himself. He heard the bathroom door seconds later while propping his body up with his elbows. Only when he was entirely sure Max was out of earshot he started to sigh, turned his head to the windows and shook it slowly.

The sun already painted the sky almost pink and the first sunbeams only reflected in the top windows of the buildings, while the rest of the city was still covered in gray shadows. A slight speck of light blue could be divined underneath that pink sky while the purple dots were bound to become white fluffy clouds in the soon-to-be summery sky.

Max hadn't even noticed it. It would've given him the tiny clue he'd have needed to recognize it was way too early for anything.

"You notice everything," Leo mumbled to himself. "Right!"

He took his time getting up himself, dressing slowly.

An inconceivable wave of gloominess came upon him all of a sudden yet all the while he was fully capable of noticing it. Stopping for a moment he viewed his own reflection in the window panes which seemed to fade away with every inch the sun set more and seemingly set its own reflections on fire. It was almost blinding but Leo hardly noticed.

"Whatever that devilish man may think is more important to him than checking the facts," a tiny voice in his head planted inside his brain.

"No! He simply believed you without doubting your notion one second," another joined.

Leo knew this confusion very well. Being disregarded was something he had been used to for a long time. And suddenly he felt scared again. Every time it had happened something even worse had followed. He was well aware of how silly this was though. It was all long since past. And he hadn't been in touch with this feeling for years now. But the more he tried to remind himself it was Max he was worrying about the more he knew, well, it was Max! He'd never do anything bad to him. And even though that horrible Pembroke was a decision he'd made for Leo, the young man couldn't shake the feeling of that person becoming a huger problem than expected.

"Leo?"

He heard Max's voice behind him but it took him quite a while to react. He acted as though he didn't hear it. Quickly he took several deep breaths.

"Calm down!" he kept telling himself in his head. Leo shook his head to make his former demons disappear and turned, smiling.

"You honestly fell for it," he laughed and hoped instantly Max would buy this cheap attempt to fool him.

And it appeared to work out. Max started to grin and smiled at him as well.

"You did that on purpose, right?" he asked.

"I honestly don't know what you are talking about," Leo smiled and walked past his partner, leaving him racking his brain. He noticed in surprise he held his breath just as if Max noticed his lie with every little exhale he did. This was simply idiotic. Why did he worry so much? Max explained himself. He knew perfectly well why this hiding had to continue. And he wasn't about to betray Leo in any way. He could slap himself for allowing these kinds of thoughts. An old paranoia, that's what this was. Old wounds floating back to the surface. Nothing more.

"Wait," Max stood in the door frame, looking after him. But before he could say anything more Leo cut him off.

"You know, since we're up now we could use this time as well," he smiled in his direction. "I think I need a little fresh air."

"What?"

"You can join or you can stay," Leo answered carefree. "I'll be back in a few..."

Thus he headed towards the door, feeling as though he was close to choking. And he was unable to point out what exactly the problem was. The fact he tricked Max into something he needed to find out? Or the very obvious signs Max saw right through him? Was he only fleeing from that upcoming confrontation in which he was bound to admit his jealousy or was he simply embarrassed of having acted in a way so much unlike himself it almost made him shudder thinking about it?

Whatever it was, Leo felt he needed to clear his head. Walking around one corner or another would help to be his normal self again when he returned.

He had his eyes closed when he opened that office door. But his insane getaway was interrupted with what felt like an electric shock, leaving Leo petrified. When he opened his eyes to continue his way through the door he looked straight into the eyes of Carmen who still had his hand lifted as though he was about to knock on the door any second. Leo's jaw dropped.

Neither of them said a word. Neither of them dared to move a muscle either. They only stared at each other with a mixture of surprise and sentimentality.

Max came walking after Leo but as soon as he saw who stood there in front of their home he froze where he was as well. And as if seeing Carmen again wasn't bad enough he spotted Roger standing right behind him, looking not less surprised than the rest of the party.

"We...er," Carmen started silently without taking his eyes away from Leo. But he wasn't quite able to say what he had practiced in his head for days now. "We...we...Is everything alright?"

He saw that expression on Leo's face and knew in an instance something was wrong here.

But instead of an answer Leo rushed forwards embracing Carmen tightly who was so taken aback that his whole body stiffened at first. Close contact coming from Leo was kind of new. He cast a worried look at Roger who raised his eyebrows and shrugged shortly.

But then all the things Carmen wanted to say seemed to be forgotten and he lifted his hands and embraced his young friend as well, softly stroking his back.

Neither Max nor Roger dared to move a slight bit whereas Carmen was desperately looking from one to the other, trying to get a clue of what he was supposed to do. Finally, he turned to Leo again and whispered into his ear:

"Wanna go for a walk?"

He felt Leo nodding and felt his grip coming loose. Nodding at Leo once they immediately turned and headed towards the stairs. Carmen let Leo lead the way and just turned shortly to cast a look of pure disgust into Max's direction before following him quickly outside the building; leaving Roger and Max alone.

Both of them stared after them quite a while.

This simply felt strange. Max wondered how long they could continue this before either of them was supposed to say anything. But even though he knew what he was supposed to say he didn't have the slightest clue how to start it. Roger was insensible when it came to joking your way into a conversation and he surely couldn't just act as though everything was back to normal. Heaven's, he didn't even know why they suddenly showed up on their stoop without any warning. Knowing Roger for that long time he was aware this could mean everything.

And although he could imagine what exactly this was about and even despite the fact he promised Leo to talk to them he'd imagined this differently. First of all did he expect to have Leo beside him. This situation made him nervous.

"Get a load of this," he thought. "What happened to you? You've never been nervous in front of anyone!"

Maybe Leo had been right again. They were friends. And even though he unknowingly denied the fact for ages and always acted as though getting along with them just fine because Leo enjoyed their company, the truth now hit him even harder. A bad conscience! Having hurt the only true friends he ever had. That's what this was. He'd forgotten about that feeling but he was positive about it.

"What have you done?" he heard Roger addressing him and looked up to him again.

"Me? Nothing!" he answered and knew how outraged he sounded. "He...he just jumped up and wanted to get some fresh air. I don't know what hit him."

This was crazy. Why was he even trying to defend himself? It was the truth. Whatever was going on in Leo's head; it wasn't his fault.

Okay, seeing the bigger picture maybe it was.

Max sighed. It was certainly. No, it was one hundred percent! But admitting it to Roger meant he was facing a longer talk.

"But that's what you wanted to do anyway, idiot," he thought again.

Roger on the other hand seemed to literally smell the argument going on inside Max's head. He remained were he was almost motionless until he was sure Max didn't know where to go anymore.

"Can I come in?" he finally asked.

Max nodded once and made way for his former director to enter, carefully closing the door behind him.

"So, will you tell me what's going on or do I have to guess?" Roger asked without turning to Max, but staring into space with his arms folded.

"I told you I don't know what's gotten into him."

"Will you stop that?"

Max almost flinched. He wasn't prepared for such a sudden reaction.

"You know pretty damn well what I mean," Roger said, pulling a small piece of paper out of the pocket of his coat and waving it around so Max couldn't probably miss to see it.

And he did see it. Quickly he looked away.

"What's there not to understand?" Max asked quietly and Roger swore he blushed slightly.

He waited for Max to continue but nothing came. He nodded shortly and stepped towards the windows.

"How long have we known each other now?" he asked now a lot quieter than before. There was no response coming from Max. "I think it's twenty years!"

"Twenty-five!"

Roger turned to find Max looking at him again with almost a sentimental expression.

"So then," he continued. "What made you do something like that?"

"What do you mean?"

"It was only a hunch first," Roger explained. "But I must admit I had my doubts. And when I saw Leo earlier on I am pretty much convinced this wasn't at all his idea, even if he said so! So, would you please explain this to me? I think I really need to understand."

Max didn't move his eyes away from the tall man. Roger didn't sound angry at all. On the contrary his voice carried a rather desperate tone along.

Again, Max sighed.

"It wasn't his idea," he finally admitted and felt ashamed.

"Why did he say so then?"

"He wanted to help me. But it was me. I blew it."

Again, Roger nodded. "I see."

"Oh, don't blame him," Max begged. "It's not his fault. He tried to warn me."

"About what exactly?"

"Accepting Arthur Pembroke as a backer...," Max said, looking away.

He could almost hear Roger's breath stopping. And a curious mixture of feelings arose inside of him. He somehow wished he hadn't just said that, but on the other hand he felt relieved only wanting Roger to say something. This silence made it even harder to bear.

But Roger didn't say anything. He didn't even seem to breathe.

But then, Max heard footsteps coming closer to him and turned. But before he could say anything Roger grabbed a fistful of his shirt and almost lifted him off the ground, being so frighteningly close Max almost panicked.

"Have you completely lost your mind?" Roger asked. He was beyond furious. Max couldn't remember he ever saw so much anger in his eyes. "Do you even know what you brought upon us with this decision?"

Max couldn't answer. He couldn't even breathe.

"Have you taken leave of your senses?" Roger screamed. "God damn it!"

Roger let go of him just as suddenly as he grabbed him.

"This is despicable. You've betrayed us. And I mean not only Carmen and me. You've brought this upon Leo and yourself as well. Do you even recognize what could happen? What you have done?"

"I saved you," Max replied, being a whole lot louder now as well. "If I hadn't let you go he'd done God knows what to both of you! Do you think I wanted to see you facing what might have come next? He would have destroyed you and everything you ever had. He could have locked you away or heaven's knows what else!"

"I see! So what you did is rather putting Leo in there instead? How generous of you! Carmen was absolutely right. You don't care about anyone but yourself. How much did he offer you, Max? How much was this worth you?" Roger screamed in rage, gesturing wildly. But then, he suddenly stopped, turning to Max again wide-eyed.

"No!" he gasped. "He doesn't know!? Oh, tell me this is not true! Tell me you're not forcing Leo to hide!"

Max turned away. He knew Roger had this talent to always know exactly what was going on and he feared his face would give away too much. But actually what else was there to hide?

He expected him to scream and shout and call him anything he could think of just now but instead he only heard footsteps again. In shock he turned again, when he recognized the sound of the door opening again.

Roger was half way out of the office and stopped once more.

"And did you honestly think paying me this 'blood money' was enough?" he said, crumbling the check and throwing it at Max who ducked away. "You are despicable!"

His face looked disgusted and shocked all the same.

"I never believed I'd hear myself saying that," Roger said, trying to calm himself down. "But this is the end of our friendship! The only thing I will try now is keeping Leo away from you. For his own sake!"

Thus, he slammed the door as he left without another look at Max.

~To be continued~


	5. The talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 5 ;) I hope it's still interesting to follow. Sorry for the delay...I had to do a bit of research and well, work meanwhile as well.
> 
> I really hope anyone is still reading this. It'll get better soon.
> 
> Btw, I think I fell for my version of Carmen XD haha... Nah, kiddin'. ;)
> 
> Enjoy!

Walking around sure felt refreshing. Just feeling a bit of wind and watching the city getting dipped into more and more light was like waking up once more.

Not talking did the opposite though. Silently, they walked beside each other just staring at their feet. Leo dared not to peek over to Carmen.

He had been so relieved to find him and Roger standing in front of their door that moment, that he'd completely forgotten he lost contact to them. Well, how on earth was he supposed to explain anything anyway? Explaining meant admitting to have lied and sold them. And how was he supposed to give Max away just like that? He found himself sitting on the fence and didn't like it at all.

Usually he would try to escape. He always did. Even when he was a child he had been put in that situation all the time.

It was so funny how often he thought about it lately. He swore a long time ago not to let himself being dragged into something like this again.

But this was Carmen. They were friends. And as far as he got to know him, he'd understand. Yet, the slender man didn't say anything as well. Whether he didn't know what to do too or he was waiting for Leo to start, he wasn't able to tell.

They walked along the long streets of the city for what seemed like hours with neither of them breaking that silent wall they've created. Leo looked into the faces of the people passing them only to wonder whether they noticed their company was more forced the longer their walk spread.

He sighed. This was ridiculous.

Just some weeks ago this had been so easy. All of it. But now, even speaking to a friend -a very good one for that matter- appeared to be harder than anything else.

And just when Leo wanted to finally break that godforsaken silence, he heard Carmen yawn and turned to find him stretching his whole body.

"What?" Carmen grinned at him, looking into his stupefied face. "I always thought a little bit of fresh air clears mind and soul."

Carmen started to laugh and Leo knew in an instance he was aware of how spiritual he sounded. And obviously he intended to. He didn't take his grinning eyes away from the younger man, just waiting for him to break into a laugh as well. And indeed, there was something infectious about it and Leo could feel the earlier tension vanish like the few clouds hanging in the morning sky.

It didn't take long and he had to chuckle at Carmen as well.

"Yeah," he replied, still grinning. "We certainly should do this more often."

"We sure should," Carmen answered. "I always try to convince Roger to do this, but all that's in his mind is his art."

Leo shook his head, laughing. "Yeah, that suits him."

"I don't blame him though," Carmen said and sat down on a bench nearby. "He's got his visions. And his dreams."

Leo slowly walked over to him and sat down next to him, still looking after the passengers around him. The smile from his face had vanished.

"How do you cope with being second best?" he asked after a while.

"Who said I am?" Carmen turned his head in his directions, smiling warmly. It was then Leo noticed how much he had missed him around. Somehow Carmen managed to walk with his chin up, no matter what. And he could speak so compassionate; in a low and sonorous voice. It sometimes felt as though he was playing a part in a show only he noticed as such. Leo remembered well, when he first witnessed it, he didn't believe Carmen was being serious with him. But through the years he came to know it only was one mask of many he wore. And for certain he didn't show this one to just anybody.

Leo often thought that maybe this was no habit; no mask. Maybe this was Carmen the way he really was, without any flamboyance or sassiness.

"Are you not?"

The slender man shook his head without losing the smile on his face and casually flung his arms around the backrest of that bench.

"Never once," he answered quietly. "I know he'd give everything up for me. But who am I to request anything like that? Only the things he does -or in this particular example doesn't- makes Roger who he is. The person I love. I don't want him any differently. Who cares if he doesn't like walking around. We're out in the evenings as often as you can imagine..."

Leo lifted his mouth to a small smile again. Why couldn't he be like that? He simply had to doubt everything, even the good things in his life. He had tried hard to live carefree. But somehow he just couldn't shake old habits and he was worrying way too much.

Secretly, he'd always admired Carmen and Roger for who they were. Their devotion for each other was worthwhile and in a way almost touching. He remembered how shocked he had been when he met them for the first time, but it had evaporated so soon Leo couldn't even mark the moment he started to see things differently.

He heard a slight giggle coming from next to him and turned again. Carmen was watching him and was obviously trying to suppress his laughter.

"What's so funny?" Leo asked quite amused.

"I don't know," Carmen answered, still giggling. "I just thought I saw someone I've almost forgotten about and I honestly never thought I'd live to see him again."

"And who's that?" Leo didn't get it and started to look around, causing Carmen to laugh just more.

"A Leo Bloom I thought had vanished," he replied, blinking at him. Leo turned with a questioning look on his face.

But then, being honest to himself, he didn't have to say any more. Leo got long but used to him noticing almost everything, so there was no chance he'd have missed that little habit too. And after all, finding him almost desperate lying in his arms back at the office was way too obvious something was wrong.

"I thought he was gone too," Leo admitted, looking down at his feet. "But lately, he somehow seems to find a way back..."

Carmen didn't say anything, but Leo could tell he was watching him.

"I'm sorry about it," he continued. "I felt like choking all of a sudden back home and needed to get out. Just turn my back on everything for a moment. I thought it would help me to find a way to block that past me out again. But somehow..." He hesitated. "I am not very successful with these kind of things."

"Well," he heard Carmen speak again. "It kind of makes you who you are. And I'm not really sure if I want another you as well."

Leo almost shivered hearing these words. He understood what Carmen wanted to say without speaking it out loud. And the knot in his stomach was there again all of a sudden. He never intended to harm them. But then, he never would have done anything alike to them if it hadn't been necessary.

"Leo?" Carmen asked and the younger man turned his head slightly. "What is going on here?"

He'd feared that question. And just as Carmen spoke it out loud it was as though time stood still for a small moment. Leo held his breath. He stared into space but for once wasn't paying attention to anything. All the people around him, all the noises and the many different lights reflecting in the window panes of the millions of buildings in the city were forgotten.

Leo could hear his own blood pounding in his ears and even though he felt like starting to scream any minute, he was surprised of how calm he still was inside. Usually he would make up a hundred different excuses for being that way; inventing a hundred ways to explain himself. But this time, he didn't have the slightest clue what to answer.

"You don't have to tell me," he heard Carmen speak again.

Slowly he turned until his eyes met those of his friend, who still sat silently beside him smiling.

"I understand everyone has some things he cannot speak about," Carmen said silently. "But I beg you not to take me for an idiot."

"I'd never..."

"You know, I was very mad at you," Carmen added before Leo could say any more. But somehow he didn't sound angry at all nor did he look like it. He simply chose to remain the Carmen Leo grew to love. "So mad... I was determined never to speak to you again..."

Leo's face turned hot and he quickly looked away to hide his embarrassment if possible.

"But then I noticed, this wasn't you. Not at all," Carmen continued. "So, I figure you must have a really good reason to act like that. And I completely understand you can't tell."

"You can?" Leo slowly turned again but didn't dare to look into Carmen's face again.

"Hm," he nodded. "Everyone has his own little secrets. I have mine too."

And then Leo felt a hand softly touching his face, tilting his head gently until he was forced to look at his friend once more. But instead of finding a furious or even angry looking Carmen, he stared into the light face of a still grinning man, who suddenly looked a lot younger than he probably was.

"I just want you to know, whatever it is...or whenever you need help getting out of whatever you maneuvered yourself into," Carmen now almost whispered. "You can always count on me...No matter how mad I am at you."

Leo's eyes grew bigger. "Why are you still sticking with me after that?"

His voice had almost vanished and it was hard for him to even force it to say anything at all.

"Because I never once gave up on a friend," Carmen smiled and his eyes got an almost loving expression. "And I also won't this time."

"By the way," Carmen got up as quickly as he could with Leo only following with his eyes. "It was Roger who never stopped believing in you. Both of you actually."

"He did?"

"Oh yes. He believes in people and especially his friends. I guess he likes you very much, even though he doesn't show it that often."

"What are you talking about?" Leo smiled again, closing his eyes. "He does show it every single minute. I just wouldn't know what to do without you two."

"Then why don't you trust me for once and tell me what's wrong?" Carmen asked, looking sincere.

Again, Leo sighed. There was no way around it. He knew it before but why was it so hard to just tell the truth? Maybe he feared losing them again. Lately, everything seemed to shatter in front of him and he just needed someone in his life who just listened. And maybe there was a chance Carmen would understand.

He took a deep breath.

"It wasn't our decision to kick you out really," he said slowly without looking at him.

"Thought so," Carmen replied.

Leo shook his head and slowly got up too. The lack of words were disturbing somehow.

"It ...well, it kind of was for your own good. And Max only wanted to protect you from anything that might could happen. I didn't understand at first too, but he did..." Wow. How stupid this sounded. He wasn't sure if Carmen even got anything from these scraps of conversation he was spitting out. It wouldn't make much sense to himself either.

"Oh no," Carmen said, sounding worried. "What did he do?"

"He didn't...He..., well...," Leo stumbled across his own words. "Alright, truth is he did make a mistake. But there's been a good reason, believe me. And what else could I do but play along? I mean...How am I suppose to stab him in the back just like that? "

"Leo!" Carmen grabbed his shoulders, forcing him to turn around once more and staring directly at him. Never before had Leo seen such concerned eyes. "What did he do?"

"He..."

But he didn't get any further for they were interrupted by a light voice behind them.

"Good morning!"

Both of them turned their heads and Carmen let go of Leo quickly.

Diane was standing in front of them smiling widely. Leo's expression was blank. He didn't expect an interruption like that and especially he didn't expect to meet her in the streets.

"I'm sorry. I didn't want to bother you. I just saw you and thought I'd say hello," she cooed.

Leo quickly shook his head and broke into a soft smile as well.

"Yeah, Hi. I'm sorry," he said. "I wasn't expecting you here, that's all."

But then, Diane flung her arms around him quickly and he wasn't quick enough to act normal in this unexpected hug. It always took him a second to relax. Physical contact was still very strange to him, especially when it came upon him without a warning. And then, he heard Carmen chuckle next to him and softly freed himself again.

Leo coughed shortly, knowing perfectly well his face blushed even though he couldn't explain why.

"I'm sorry. Diane, this is Carmen. A friend of mine," he said, pointing at the slender man next to him.

"Charmed," Carmen said in his normal high pitched voice again, shaking Diane's hand and bowing deep.

"Pleasure's all mine," she grinned. "So, Carmen it is? What kind of strange name for a tall young man like you."

Carmen as well as Leo stood petrified for a second, but then Carmen burst into a loud laugh.

"I'm sorry," Diane said, covering her mouth. "Was that rude? I didn't mean it... It's just... I've never heard that name on a man before."

"Oh no...it's just ...er," Leo tried to explain, but just noticed he didn't know what to say as well. He'd never questioned it. Carmen was, well Carmen. Not once had his name been a problem to Leo before. But now, being prod to it in such a weird way, he thought Diane was right.

"Don't even try to explain it, Leo," Carmen smiled at him, having read his mind just once more. "Of course, this lovely Lady is right. Carmen is a little odd for a man. Diane, what do you say about having a coffee together. Just the three of us. I'd love to get to know another of Leo's friends better."

He blinked at her.

"You say that about yourself?" Leo was a little confused but grinned at him still.

"Oh, come on Leo," Carmen replied, lightly offering his arm to Diane, who grabbed it amused. "Do you honestly think this is my real name?"

One more wink in Leo's direction and another wide-spread grin and he and Diane walked past him.

Diane seemed to enjoy Carmen's company enormously. Leo always thought of her as someone who always looked on the sunny side and smiled the whole day through even though he didn't know very much of her, but she could hardly stop laughing at whatever Carmen would say to her. She was literally hanging on his lips and the both of them shared a mutual understanding Leo had hardly ever seen before. From time to time she looked over to him and smiled. Leo noticed of course. Maybe she just wanted to be friendly. But then, when had she ever been otherwise? So, Leo smiled back at her, which made her blush slightly. He noticed even though she'd turn her head away every time. And he could tell Carmen did notice too. Each time he cast a look of pure amusement at Leo, only to turn quickly to Diane again afterwards.

"So, your name's not Carmen?" Diane asked after a while, taking a sip of her coffee without taking her eyes away from him.

"Oh no dear," Carmen answered and leaned back. He took his hands to the back of his head and casually making it look as though they were holding him. Then, he looked over at Leo, who clearly expected him to explain a little more.

"But...but isn't it a little...well...strange you and Leo are friends and he doesn't know your real name either?" Diane asked, smiling at Leo who looked surprised.

"What makes you think I didn't know?" he asked shyly, yet tried to sound jokingly.

"Your eyes, love" Diane answered right away without losing her cheerful smile. "When he told you, you heard it for the first time. I could tell."

Leo blinked once or twice but then had to grin slightly too. This was astounding. He felt even more like an open book now, but usually only people who knew him for a longer time could tell. That is Roger and Carmen could. Always. And Max. Sometimes.

"So, will you tell me your real name then?" Diane asked with the biggest puppy eyes she could accomplish that moment.

Carmen giggled again.

"You know, I guess there always should be some things you keep to yourself," he said and leaned towards her, making it look as though he wanted to share a secret by whispering in her ear. "But you see, if Leo doesn't know, why should I tell you?"

She laughed again and leaned back.

"Right. That's too bad though," she said. "I bet it'd be something very nice."

"Well..." Carmen only shrugged, acting as though he had no idea himself. Leo almost had to snort seeing it.

"Not even Roger knows, you know!" Carmen continued now addressing Leo.

"He doesn't?"

Carmen shook his head. "No, he asked once. But I never felt like telling him and he lets me have it to myself actually."

"Who's Roger?" Diane asked, looking from one to the other.

"Oh right," Carmen turned to her again. "Roger is my partner."

"Your... partner?" Diane raised an eyebrow, which made Carmen give a short laughter.

"Honestly honey" he said, looking at her more amused than before. "Just look at me! What do you think is wrong?"

"Wrong?" Diane's eyes wandered up and down Carmen's appearance and she seemed to get a little uncertain.

"Well, you'd be the first not to notice," he answered, gazing out of the window of the little cafe they were sitting in. "Yeah partner. As in life partner or in lover."

Diane swallowed hard for a second, but then leaned over the table that separated them and took Carmen's hand. And for the first time ever Leo could see something like surprise written all over his face. And he didn't mean that kind of overacted surprise he did a lot. No, this was real.

"Well, you're gay. So what?" She said and looked sincerely into Carmen's eyes. "I think it's very brave of you to openly agree to it."

Carmen's face turned from surprised to amazed.

"Why would I deny it?" he asked. "I don't want to hide."

Leo heard him and immediately felt like being punched in the stomach. All the things he seemingly had forgotten in the last few hours were back all of a sudden.

"I heard a lot about people treating you different these days," He heard Diane say.

"It's never been different. People always feared what they cannot understand," Carmen laughed.

"That's right," she answered. "But there was this one guy being arrested just two days ago. People said he is most likely not coming out of jail again. You must have heard of it."

Carmen nodded. "Yeah. I heard he was involved in a brawl though. So, there's no evidence he's gotten arrested because he was gay."

But Diane shook her head determinedly. "They say someone payed those guys to 'beat it out of him' and then they made it look like he started it. It's so crazy how things get worse these days."

"Someone payed them?" Carmen didn't believe his ears.

Diane nodded. "That's what I've heard. But who would do something like that?"

Carmen jeered shortly, resting his head on his hand. "There are dozens of anti-gay-movements lately. Not at least this huge one this Pembroke jerk brought into being,sending spies everywhere. There are few places left one is safe really. If you do it inside your own walls it's okay, but outside?No!"

"Hm, but are you sure it's him?" Diane asked and Leo held his breath. "I thought of him as quite nice. He doesn't appear to me as a homophobic person at all."

Carmen looked up again. "You know him?"

Diane nodded. And Leo immediately wished she hadn't said anything.

"He's the main backer of the play I'm in now" she answered.

Leo looked away. He could almost hear Carmen turning his head slowly in his direction and he didn't even want to imagine the blame in his eyes.

"So, remind me again of where do you know Leo from?" Carmen grinned, paying attention to Diane again. "I'm not exactly sure he's ever mentioned you before."

"Oh, we kind of met a year ago. He was a guest in the Diner I worked. He's had a rough time back then. Something about his girlfriend. That's what he said anyway," she answered.

Carmen's gaze wandered over to Leo again. He knew even though he did his best to ignore it.

"His girlfriend?"

Again, Diane nodded without really knowing what was going on.

But now, Leo quickly turned his head looking straight at Carmen, praying with all his might he would read his mind one more time. Carmen on the other hand only stared back at him without a wince. It seemed so obvious to Leo. If only Carmen would move a little. This felt like an eternity.

"Please, don't do it," Leo thought and hoped so much Carmen would understand it.

But then, the slender man turned to Diane as quickly as he could and broke into a wide grin again.

"Right, his girl...," he said. "Forgive my confusion. I tend to blend her out."

"You don't like her then?" Diane asked mockingly.

"Oh, it depends," Carmen said, casting yet another quick look at Leo before biting his lips. "She's...well, a little too... self-reflected in my opinion."

Diane followed his gaze as well. Leo was blushing. This was more than weird.

But then, she laughed.

"Well, who am I to judge?" she said. "I guess everyone has his bad sides as well. My husband used to have them too."

"You've changed him then?" Carmen asked.

She shook her head slowly and although she was still smiling, something was different about it.

"He...He passed away shortly before I first met Leo," she said much quieter now.

Now, Leo looked up too. She hadn't mentioned this little fact a year ago. It had sounded as though everything was just fine in her life. And suddenly he felt extremely sorry for her.

Diane on the other hand still smiled and even though Leo could clearly see her holding her own skirt a little tighter now, she shook her blonde hair again.

"It's okay though," she said. "We had a wonderful time together."

"I am really sorry," Carmen answered silently.

"Me too," Leo joined him.

"Ah well," she sniffed once and then got up. "It's not your fault though. Erm... Listen I guess I need to go now. Still have to be in theater a little earlier. You know...having less time to learn all of it and stuff." Then she turned to Carmen.

"It was so nice meeting you," she said now cheerfully again. "I'd love to repeat it some day."

"It'd be my pleasure," Carmen grinned and shook her hand.

She turned to Leo. "So, I guess I'll be seeing you around more often anyway? There's no need to say goodbye then."

He smiled too and then stepped a little closer to her and for a change hugged her tightly.

"See you later," he whispered.

When he let go of her, she smiled once more without taking her eyes off of him, then turned and left the cafe, waving once more at the two of them. But Leo and Carmen were about to leave as well. And since they were up anyway, they headed directly to the exit as well, after nodding at each other once.

"She is a sweetheart," Carmen said when they were on the streets again.

"Yes, she is lovely," Leo answered.

"But let me ask you one thing," Carmen put himself in Leo's way with two quick steps, so there was no way for him to get away. "Have you lost your mind?"

Leo looked shocked at first, but then quickly turned his head, avoiding Carmen's gaze. He didn't know what to say.

"Leo!" Carmen said again, now much louder. "Was this Max's idea?"

"What?"

"Was it?" Carmen almost sounded angry now. "This explains all your stuttering before she dropped in. It was, right? Oh my God, Leo! Do you even realize what you've gotten yourself into by working with this guy?"

"I am aware of that," Leo answered quietly.

"And what?" Carmen asked again. "Is this why you needed to get out? What did he do to you? Don't tell me you're hiding. God damn it, Leo! You fought so long to live like that and now you're in denial again? Why do you endure this?"

"Because...," And finally Leo looked up at him again. "Because I'd put him in danger as well."

Carmen backed away a few inches. He surely didn't expect something like that. His anger vanished from one second to another and he now felt almost sorry about having been so angry with Leo. He suffered from it. It was there in his face; in his way of speaking. And, looking inside and being completely honest with himself, Carmen wasn't that heartless. How was he even supposed to talk some sense into Leo when he was the one who probably thought about every possibility, everything that might could happen before anyone else did?

No, once again, it was Max and Max alone. He knew it. He'd always known it. Putting Leo in this situation was not only unfair, it was dangerous.

A shiver ran down his entire body all of a sudden. Even if he had been able to find proper words to describe his disgust for the producer Roger insisted of calling a friend, his body just wouldn't let him.

"Listen, I am really sorry what I have done to you. What we had to do," Leo spoke again. "I never intended it. But there's absolutely no way to come out of this until this production is over."

"How am I supposed to understand this?" Carmen asked almost not audible, folding his arms and looking away.

Leo stepped slowly closer, putting one hand on Carmen's shoulder and smiled softly.

"I think you already are," he said. "And what was that about I could always count on you? I know it is asked much this time. And I'm aware I will never be able to make it up to you. Ever. But please, trust me. I won't let this jerk get you into trouble."

Thus he nodded shortly at Carmen and turned to get back to the office, facing just another day of mental torture being trapped inside that theater and having to stand yet another attack of Pembroke somehow.

Carmen looked after him quite a while. He didn't know what to do. Times had indeed changed. It had become so much more dangerous to simply be who one was; and even more difficult to feel whatever one felt. He sensed something was coming over them. And it didn't feel right.

"I honestly wish you all the best," he thought, still addressing Leo. "I just hope you'll be okay..."

~To be continued~


	6. The confrontation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uuugh...Been struggling a long time to get this done. I am sorry. I hope anyone is still following ;) We're getting forward now.
> 
> This is inspired by the song "What would you do" from the musical If/Then. Hope you like it :)

Leo stared at the stage. His neck felt stiff since he'd been doing this all day long. But everything was better than wasting one more second listening to Pembroke, who had been talking to Max most of the morning. He talked only to Max anyway. Not that Leo wasn't used to it by now but he didn't want to get another snappish comment just for doing his job. So, he simply watched what was going on on stage.

Diane was pretty good. She learned very fast and could easily pass as a professional right away. No one would believe she hadn't done this for quite a while.

As far as Leo got the few comments he was able to listen to right, at least Pembroke seemed to think the same. He was almost enchanted by her. So, without really wanting it, he'd done something good for this show after all.

But whatever was going on with Max he couldn't tell. He had already been gone when Leo arrived at the office again this morning. A fact which kept him wondering a lot, since Max never left that early for rehearsals and usually never without him. Leo had found him later offstage and took him aside in a quiet moment and had asked him whether he got the chance talk to Roger or not. Max's answer had been short and succinct.

"Yes. He knows now. Will you excuse me? We can talk about it later."

That was hours ago. They hadn't exchanged one word since then and Leo seriously started to wonder whether Max was angry at him. But then again he had left with Carmen without really explaining anything. And he knew for sure Max was no idiot. And after all, Leo hadn't acted in a very mature way too. He bit his lips each time that though crossed his mind again; cursing himself for not having said anything. But how was he supposed to explain something he didn't understand himself? If only he could pronounce his fears properly. Things surely would be a whole lot easier but he didn't quite grasp himself why he was so afraid at all. It was just a feeling. And he knew how little Max gave about premonitions and the like. Yet, he sensed something wasn't right at all.

Leo leaned forward and put his head into his hands. He sighed. This felt exhausting and the day didn't seem to find an end at all. Maybe if he closed his eyes for a minute he'd be able to focus on what he had to do again without these little interruptions every few minutes.

"Okay, little break. Five minutes!" he heard a voice yelling from the stage.

"Great," he thought. "Just when it's needed."

He opened his eyes again, looked around for a second just in case anything else needed to be done just now, but then hurried out of the theater as fast as he could, passing Max without looking at him for another second.

The huge stage entrance door fell shut loudly and gave Leo the feeling of just cutting everything out from one moment to the other. It was like a break from everything. He inhaled the sultry air of midday and just for a moment let the mild breeze of summer air stripe his face. The feeling of suffocating inside with all these strangers and the devil himself appeared even more real to him now and he must admit he enjoyed that small spark of freedom he had, standing out in the streets with the familiar traffic noise and footsteps; without anybody he wanted to avoid so badly.

Usually he would stand here with Max and joke about everything that was going on inside but now, Leo didn't mind to be alone. It had always been the best way to sort his thoughts or calm down, so why not now too?

"Leo!"

He opened his eyes again when he heard his name.

Roger and Carmen were coming closer, crossing the street and taking casual steps towards him. Carmen waved shyly and smiled warmly, whereas Roger had his hands in the pockets of his jacket.

It was as though the gray gloomy day brightened a little. Leo left the wall he was leaning on to and walked towards them, smiling too. Funny. He hadn't seen them in weeks and now twice a day. Yet, it felt great to see some familiar faces and people he knew he could talk to.

"What are you doing here?" Leo grinned, looking from one to another.

"Oh, we were just around the corner and thought we'd visit you," Carmen shrugged. Roger on the other hand looked rather sincere as he stepped closer to Leo and looked at him as if someone had just beaten him.

"What about you?" he asked calmly. "Is everything alright? You never stand outside all alone during rehearsal breaks."

Leo had to grin. Of course Roger was so much used to the way everyone usually acted, he must have wondered about it.

"I needed a little change of air, that's all," he tried to sound carefree, but immediately doubted he could fool Roger. He nearly expected him to argue against it, but his jaw almost dropped when nothing alike was the case. On the contrary, Roger hastily came closer, embracing Leo lightly.

"I am glad nothing happened to you," he almost whispered.

"To me?" Leo didn't quite understand.

Roger let go if him and looked straight into his eyes. This kind of behavior always scared Leo, for it gave the impression he could see right through him and funny enough he always seemed to know exactly what was going on. And even worse, Roger had this strange ability to hold it terribly long.

"Are you kidding?" he asked and still sounded a little too sincere. "With that man around?"

Leo cast a quick look at Carmen, who just nodded and then sighed.

"He told you?"

"Yes, he did," Roger answered and finally let go of him. His expression changed to a softer, almost worried face and for the first time ever, Leo thought he looked much older than he probably was. He couldn't even explain why, but looking like that Roger gave the impression of a worn out man, tired of life. Why ever this comparison popped up in his mind, he didn't know either.

"What about you?" he heard him ask and felt like hitting the cold ground once more, leaving that blurry bubble of his own thoughts and focusing on the two men in front of him again.

"What about me?"

"Come on Leo," Roger said. "Do you really want to pretend you don't notice the danger you're situated in? This is crazy!"

Leo sighed and looked away.

"Of course I do," he answered quietly. "But..."

"But what?" Roger asked, much quieter now as well. "Leo, do you notice what is possible to happen?"

"A lot of things are possible," Leo answered, looking up again; his eyes wandering from Carmen to Roger. "But chances are given, he won't notice."

"Won't notice?" This time Carmen piped up. "I'm sorry, Leo. But there's only one possibility he won't notice. And as I told you this morning, hiding is something you shouldn't do. Especially after all you've been through."

"So, you're hiding indeed," Roger said, more to himself. "Was that Max's idea?"

Leo stepped back a few inches. "What?"

This was worse than he imagined. He didn't like the turn their reunion was taking at all.

"No," he answered. "He never expected me to... He... WE have no other choice."

Roger nodded knowingly and crossed his arms. "Yet, he isn't here with you!"

"What's that to do with...?"

"Oh, don't take me for stupid," Roger interrupted the younger man. "You two are hardly ever on your own anywhere. And I've never witnessed a rehearsal's break without you standing around together as long as I've known you now. The only possible reason you're out here all alone is that he's in there, trying to impress that idiot, not paying attention to you at all."

"I-I..."

"I'm right, am I not?" Roger knew he was and almost broke into laughter. He didn't even expected an answer from Leo at all. Then again, he shook his head, headed forwards and grabbed Leo by his shoulders. "Leo! You gotta get out of this."

"Well, how could I?" Leo finally managed to answer, but he noticed his voice growing louder and tried to relax. "There's no way out of this contract. And this production surely won't last forever. How could I possibly get out of this?"

"I don't mean the contract," Roger answered, almost piercing Leo with his stare. "You need to get out of this dependence on Max."

Leo almost petrified for a second.

"What?" he whispered.

Both of them, Roger as well as Carmen looked at him stony-faced and didn't move one muscle.

This must have been a joke. But actually, neither of them looked like this was meant in any funny connection.

Those words echoed in Leo's head and it took him quite some time to really understand what he had just heard. And then, without any warning a wave of sickness came upon him. He felt dizzy and took a few steps backwards, leaning on the theater-wall just to get some support.

They couldn't possibly mean what he feared they did. No! They were friends. He did explain himself. They simply must understand. This was bound to be over soon. Surely, it was some kind of pessimism inside of him that just tricked his ears to hear this wicked notion inside Roger's words.

"Leo?"

Slowly, he turned his head in Carmen's direction, afraid of what was coming now.

"Please, try to understand," he said softly, putting his hand on Leo's back, who still stood bend over. "All we care about is your best."

"What makes you think the mere suggestion of something like this is for my best?" Leo somehow managed to ask.

"Don't you see what's going on?" Roger asked once more. He stood there calmer than ever before, which made Leo absolutely sure he didn't just imagine that suggestion from him.

"He is using you," Roger went on. "He always had and he always will. Nothing has changed. I know you want to believe it, but the truth is..."

"Don't say it," Leo whispered, squinting his eyes as if to shut out everything around him.

"The only thing Max always cared about is himself," Roger said.

Leo looked up to the older man with wide eyes. He didn't believe it. This had to be a bad dream. Was this the Roger he knew? The Roger who tried to make him, Leo Bloom, open his eyes to something he had been blind about for way too long?

Slowly, his head started to shake without him really intending to.

"No," he said. "That's just not true!"

"Why were you almost fleeing from the office when we arrived this morning then?" Roger just wouldn't stop. "I think I know why. Not due to a fight, as I thought at first. Oh no. Max confirmed there was none. I think it's because you cannot endure this and he just doesn't get it. Why do you think is that so, Leo?"

"No no no, you're wrong," Leo felt his breath getting faster and faster. "What do you expect anyway? I can't just give up on him because the situation's not ideal. That's not how relationships work at all."

"Oh, is that so?" Roger's voice rose again. "I don't believe you, Leo. And I guess you don't really believe that yourself. It's there in your eyes. Is this really the relationship you wanted? Is this both of you; eye to eye? You suffer from all of this and most likely you wish for Max being here right now, but face it. He isn't. Did he even tell you, he told me?"

"He...," Leo couldn't answer. He didn't even know what to say. He couldn't think anymore.

"As a matter of fact he did!"

The three of them turned around in surprise. Leo's heart almost skipped a beat when he saw Max standing next to him, but then slowly pushing himself between Leo and Roger as if to protect him from anything that might happened next. He didn't take his eyes away from his former director and -judged by it- Leo knew he was beyond angry.

"Would any of you please be so kind and explain to me what this is about?" Max asked, looking from Carmen to Roger and back. He tried his very best to sound unimpressed and to stay calm but Leo could tell he was raging inside. He knew that look way too good.

"I am trying to bring him to his senses," Roger answered dryly. "Something you obviously won't. But that wouldn't fit into your life, right?"

"You know nothing about my life," Max replied, carrying the anger in his voice now clearly along.

"No! You're damn right, I don't!" Roger screamed back. "I thought I would never live to see the day you put Leo into a situation like that. Not him! I thought you've changed, but you are worse than ever!"

"How dare you!"

"You know, it's hard to understand," Carmen interrupted, addressing Max too. "It really seemed you cared for him. But this... Do you really think it's safer to hide Leo? You're so damn wrong. It'll get just more dangerous for both of you."

Max furiously glanced over at Carmen now. "What do you know about it?"

"Max!" Leo tried to calm the party down and softly touched Max's shoulder.

"No!" he replied, not looking at him just shaking his arm off his shoulder. "He simply repeats the bullshit Roger planted into him. If you are really not able to think for yourself Carmen, Stay out of this!"

"Don't you dare to speak to him like that," Roger fumed. "I told you before you won't have to bother with us again, but for Heaven's sake, Max! Let us take Leo along."

Max on the other hand didn't think about anything like that. He stepped a little closer to Leo, sprawling out his arms to build some kind of barrier between Leo and them.

"Don't you dare to touch him or so God help me," he said, dangerously quiet now.

"WILL YOU STOP? ALL OF YOU?"

Max let his arms fall down and together with Roger and Carmen turned to look at Leo, who just stared back at them desperately. He tried to control the emotions inside of him as good as possible. His body stiffened, so nobody would notice it shaking and he tried to speak with his normal voice

"Is this any way to talk to one another?" he asked slowly. "Come on. Get a grip! We always got along just fine. Do you really want this guy destroy everything?"

Roger jeered shortly, then flung his arm around Carmen's shoulder, looking at Leo.

"This guy wouldn't have been a problem, if he just thought about someone else but himself for once!" he countered, nodding in Max's direction shortly.

"It wasn't at all like that," Leo tried to explain, but they were yet again interrupted by a loud cough behind them.

Leo felt a cold shiver running down his spine as he turned and saw Arthur Pembroke standing there with his arms crossed behind his back and looking disapprovingly from Roger to Carmen and then to Leo.

Even if it was there, Max didn't let any surprise show in front of him and Roger just stared back at the old man.

"So," Pembroke started, stepping closer with a surprising calm behavior. "I thought we took care of this little problem?" His gaze wandered over to Max.

"Problem?" Carmen asked outraged.

"I didn't know they were here," Max answered and for a second Leo thought he saw something like fear in Max's eyes as he looked from Roger to Pembroke and kind of stepped between them in a similar way he just did with Leo. But no one else seemed to notice.

"I assure you they will leave now," Max said and turned to look at Roger and Carmen once more. His expression had changed rapidly and now Leo was happy Max had his back turned at Pembroke that moment. He looked almost pleading as though hoping Roger would understand, but he still didn't move.

"Please," Max mouthed without any sound.

"Don't worry, we'll go," Carmen said, still staring at the devil behind Max. "If this is the company you chose now Max, we won't be in your way."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Pembroke asked still calmly.

"You know pretty damn well, what," Carmen replied. "Intolerant people like you are the reason this world is going to the dogs."

"I beg you pardon?" Pembroke replied, looking at Roger and seemed even more disgusted now. "I will call the police if you and your little abnormal pet will ever show up here again."

"What?" Carmen almost jumped at him, but Roger held him back.

"Temper, Carmen," he said soothingly. "We'll go!"

Thus did the two of them turn. Roger nodded shortly in Leo's direction and Leo watched them walking down the narrow street until they vanished behind another corner. This was bad. He had been so relieved to have them back in his life, but he never expected they'd try to get him out of everything he knew. A funny mixture of gratitude and incomprehension was fighting inside of him. He felt the urge to run after them, yet he just couldn't leave Max alone here with this man.

"And as for you," Leo heard this old voice again and turned. Pembroke was obviously addressing him now. "Beware who you make contact with. It might give the wrong impression!"

Leo held his breath and thought about how to reply. He never had been very quick-witted and Pembroke seemed to sense it right away.

Without another word he turned and moved back through the stage door, which fell close very loudly after him.

Max still stood in front of him, his eyes closed. He looked concerned though.

"Max...I," Leo started but didn't got to finish what he wanted to say as his partner suddenly chose to look up. Slowly he shook his head, but all the anger that had been there just minutes ago was blown away.

"Come back in when you're finished, will you?" he said quietly. And before Leo could reply anything else he vanished into the theater as well.

Leo sighed. This was worse than he thought. How the hell did he get into this? He kept asking himself that question over and over again, but the more he thought about it the less he saw a way out of all this.

So, he simply went back inside, turning once more in the direction Carmen and Roger vanished before closing the door behind him to face the suffocating darkness of the theater he never experienced to be so disturbing before.

…

"Have you seen his face?"

Carmen slammed the door. He'd been furious all the way back to their town house and even now he couldn't calm down.

"Leo doesn't want that," he said, knowing perfectly well, Roger was listening even though he didn't answer. "If that jerk didn't come between us we surely would have convinced him. Maybe even Max. But no!"

"Darling!"

"And the way he spoke. He called me a pet! How on earth can they seriously consider working with this guy?"

"He's got the money," Roger replied and for a second there was nothing but silence to be heard. Carmen stared at him wide-eyed.

"That's what we knew before," he said, crossing his arms and pouting.

"Yes," Roger stood up and moved to an rather old looking cupboard, fetching himself a drink. "Pembroke is an asshole, I absolutely agree."

Carmen nodded. "Yeah, and I would have forgotten my good manners if you hadn't held me back."

Roger laughed silently, not looking up. "And then?"

Carmen was confused. "Then what?"

"He probably would have had you locked away or worse," Roger answered, taking a sip. "So, be thankful I held you back."

"So, what are we gonna do now?" Carmen looked at him uncertain.

If there was no way to get around Pembroke, it was pointless to think they could easily convince Leo to leave.

Carmen bit his lips. He cared for him. As much as he wanted to ignore it, it was the truth. And he wasn't able to watch Leo standing in the middle of a catastrophe without doing anything.

He thought about the younger man's words.

"That's not how relationships work."

He was right in so many things, but this time... Max was the problem. Roger had made it clear and he had to agree.

It made him sad somehow. He had hoped for Leo to be happy. And he had been happy for him a year ago when he finally noticed where his heart belonged. And even though Carmen always mistrusted Max, he thought Leo was the one exception. The one person Max did everything for. It almost shattered his whole foundations to be confirmed yet once more and the only thing that mattered now was to get Leo out of there.

"Are you alright?"

Carmen looked up. Roger was staring at him worried. He had been so lost in his own thoughts that he hadn't even noticed how concerned that must have appeared to look.

He smiled and put his hands around Roger's neck, pulling him a little closer. Slowly he shook his head.

"I'm sorry," he almost whispered. "There's a lot going on inside my head right now."

"I know that," Roger answered calmly, taking his hand and kissing it softly. "Maybe you need a little distraction? Something to get your head free?"

"I thought about a little walk," Carmen smiled. Yet, he knew the very same moment Roger couldn't be tricked that easily. He smiled at him and noticed a grin on his face as well. It was that moment, he knew it was no use. But he didn't take it the wrong way.

"Do you mind if I go then?" Carmen asked sweetly. "Just around the house. A little fresh air is very soothing from time to time."

Roger smiled back at him and gently stroke across his cheek with one hand. "You know, I'd never say no if it was for your best."

So, Carmen turned, still smiling and pulled the coat he didn't even bother to take off a little tighter.

"I'll be back in a few," he said and left the apartment.

Roger looked after him for a moment and then closed his eyes. He had to laugh about himself that moment. It was unbelievable what he did to him. He couldn't believe how lucky he was just to have him in his life and couldn't stop thanking fate to have met him.

"What would I do without you?" he thought.

….

The air was cool at night but Carmen didn't mind. He felt like all the worries and the anger of the day were blown away in the soft breeze of the nightly wind and even though walking around the house wasn't at all long, it felt like being away for hours to him. Again, Roger had been right. This distracted him a great deal.

"Carmen Ghia?" An unfamiliar voice asked behind him all of a sudden. Carmen turned a little surprised to find three huge men circling him. Whoever could know him here and especially at this time?

The way they moved around him made Carmen feel a little uneasy though. He eyed them suspiciously from the corner of his eyes, but didn't dare to move.

"Yes?" he asked, looking at the guy who addressed him in the first place without letting any fear show.

"So, you are the one we've been looking for," he simply replied.

…

Leo lay awake. Again.

He had been certain being caught talking to Roger and Carmen would have had some consequences for him, but Pembroke carried on as usual by ignoring him completely. He just didn't exist anymore. And being honest to himself, Leo had been quite relieved about it. He had been doing all the paperwork of a week that day. No one had been wanting anything from him anyway.

But he had dreaded Max's reaction somehow. And even though he was certain Max knew it couldn't have been his fault Roger and Carmen had been showing up there, he had been angry. Leo hadn't even been able to tell whether because of him or not.

He had asked him as soon as they were back home of course.

But Max had only acted as though he was concerned about that comment Pembroke gave about Leo choosing his company more wisely.

"They wanted to convince me," he had replied. "It wasn't as though he noticed anything. I only stood there when he arrived with you defending me."

"You don't get it, do you?" Max had said. "It's not about him finding out. It's about what he is able to do. He could do anything to you. You could lose your job. You could be beaten up. Hell, he could have locked you away if he liked."

"How do you know ?" Leo wanted to know. Max never said he knew anything about that guy really doing this rumored stuff. And Max usually told him everything. It made him wondering until now. Maybe he indeed knew more than he admitted. But then he shook his head again. No. Whatever lead to this kind of thinking, it wasn't like him at all. What was this man doing to him? He doubted his life, his thoughts and worst of all his partner.

"Do you honestly think all those rumors come out of thin air?" Max had continued angrily. "I tried to warn you. You should have blocked that conversation with them immediately."

"And how was I supposed to do that, hm?" Leo remembered how loud his voice had been. "I didn't even know what they had planned. You on the other hand didn't seem as surprised as I was."

Max had looked away and didn't say anything anymore for the rest of the evening. When Leo decided to go to bed, he still sat on the desk in the office and didn't look up. He simply breathed a quiet "Good night" and continued working.

Leo awoke an hour later due to some weird dreams and couldn't get his thoughts straight anymore. They were as real as the darkness of the night around him and just wouldn't let him go.

Max cared about him. Max did all this because of him, he was sure. Yet he could kick himself for thinking otherwise.

"Why am I doubting that much? What am I so afraid of all of a sudden?" he thought.

He turned around.

Max lay next to him with his back turned at Leo and appeared to be asleep already.

Leo sighed softly. This whole situation was getting out of hand. He didn't want to fight. And he didn't want to leave. Yet, he thought about Roger and Carmen again.

Max wanted to protect them, that's why he said all those things. Leo hadn't been sure at first but he had seen it today in his eyes. And even though no one else had noticed, it had been there quite clearly. That desperate look, saying "Leave now, before anything bad happens."

Leo watched him silently and noticed a slight grin on his face. As often as his partner tried to act as though he didn't care about them; as if they were just business; even as if they were only Leo's friends, he did care. A lot. He just couldn't endure seeing something happening to them. And even though Leo appeared to be the only one to notice it, he suddenly felt enormously grateful towards Max.

The one thing Roger and Carmen seemed to forget was that not only Leo was in a shitty situation here, but also Max.

Leo was suddenly ripped out of his thoughts as he heard a soft murmur next to him.

"Leo..."

He bend over in surprise and had to giggle. Max was talking in his sleep. He'd never known the older man did something like that. Or at least he never had noticed before.

"Yes?" he whispered as a reply.

"Don't...," Max continued silently.

"Don't what?" he asked, still smiling.

"...Don't leave me...," he heard Max say.

The smile on his face fell. He bend over Max. He wasn't sure whether he was really asleep right now or if this was another attempt to talk to him. After all, Max had never been really good at talking about serious stuff.

And his eyes grew even bigger when he saw tears running down his partners face. A shiver went down Leo's spine. Max was asleep. Fast asleep.

And for the first time he understood the fear inside of him. That's why he was so different all of a sudden. He was scared. Probably more scared than Leo could imagine that moment. Scared to lose him.

Leo's breath became faster. How could he have doubted just one second? Knowing Max's past this was even more obvious. So, why didn't he see it before?

The younger man cuddled to Max, putting his arms around him, just to have him closer to himself. He was pressing his forehead to his back, inhaling deeply. Then, Leo closed his eyes, feeling guilty.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I would never leave..."

….

Neither of them talked about the past day the next morning.

Leo sat on the leather couch sleepily with his hair still tousled from the night, sipping his coffee and watching the sun reflecting in the windows.

Max was doing something in the kitchen. He didn't exactly know what, but he could hear him swearing from time to time, which made him smile. Whatever it was, it sounded like he was rehearsing a speech back there. Leo couldn't make out any words, but he knew how impatient Max could be.

Luckily, there was still a little time before they had to leave. Leo grew to be very grateful for this time. The few hours of the day that made his life almost seem back to normal and he tried hard not to think of the hours in front of him, when he heard footsteps approaching him.

He turned his head slowly. Max was standing in front of him avoiding his eyes. He looked like wanting to say something and to Leo's delight blushed again, when Leo asked him what he did back there. The image of a shy schoolboy plopped into his mind and didn't help making the urge to laugh out loud go away.

"Erm...Listen," Max started, sitting down next to Leo. "I...I've been thinking."

"'Bout what?" Leo asked mockingly.

"About everything," Max continued, now looking at him sincerely. "I... I want to quit the contract with Pembroke."

Leo hesitated. He didn't quite believe he heard that right.

"What...But...Max," he said, now sitting upright and being bright awake. "You could go to jail doing this..."

Max nodded.

"I know," he said. "But no job is worth this here. Roger was right. As was Carmen. This guy is crazy. This whole idea was crazy. And I'd rather see myself sitting this out in jail for three or four years than worrying about ..." He hesitated.

Leo waited for him to finish.

"Worrying about something might happen to you," Max sighed and didn't turn his gaze away. "And if I am lucky, there will only be a monetary penalty."

He wanted to say much more, but Leo put his fingers on his mouth to stop him from talking any more and shook his head determinedly.

"No," he said and was surprised by the strength of his own voice. "There is no way I will let you do this! Do you honestly think I let you take the all the blame for this? And even if we go to jail together. I mean, it's not like we haven't been through this before," he smiled again trying to sound cocky. "You will never be able to work again as a producer. This is not an option."

Max shrugged, looking almost admiring now and slowly shook his head.

"I don't mind," he said. "As long as I've got you, it doesn't matter what I do."

He smiled. Leo never thought he'd see a smile on him again until that Pembroke guy vanished forever out of their lives. And it made him feel more happy than he had felt in ages. He slowly bend forwards, kissing him softly on the lips.

"I won't let you do this," he whispered, resting his head on Max's. "We're in this together. And we'll get through this together."

He saw Max wanting to reply something, but they were interrupted by a loud know on the door. Their heads turned in the direction of that disturbing noise, then they returned to look at each other puzzling.

Max was the first to get up and walked over to the office door, opening it hesitantly. But before Leo could figure out who it was, he saw Roger rushing inside, taking Max by his shirt and almost lifting him up in the air. Leo jumped up, but couldn't say anything, as Roger was much faster.

"WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE?" he screamed furiously. "I TOLD YOU SOMETHING WOULD HAPPEN! I DID TELL YOU!"

"What?" Max replied.

As if out of his mind, Leo jumped between them, grabbing Roger's arms and forcing him to let go of Max.

"Roger!" he yelled. "What in Heaven's name are you doing?"

He wanted to continue bombarding him with all the questions he had in his head, but stopped to find Roger almost collapsing on their floor. He looked horrible. Unshaven and with tousled hair and when Leo looked a little closer, he saw tears in Roger's eyes. It gave him goosebumps.

He looked over at Max, who was just as surprised as Leo, rubbing his neck.

"Roger?" Leo stepped a little closer, trying hard to sound calm now. He put one hand on Roger's back, who started to sob immediately. "What is wrong?"

The huge man looked up at them and gave the most pathetic picture Leo had ever seen.

"Carmen," he cried. "They've attacked Carmen..."

~To be continued~


	7. The idea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sure you're producing vodoo-dolls for me right now XD *is hiding*
> 
> I am heading to something with this, so I hope it still is a little thrilling. I can't wait to write the next chapter...
> 
> Enjoy!

When the door behind him flung shut Max felt a shiver crawling through his entire body. This wasn't good. Not at all. Although he'd expected them to try something after Roger made his position so very clear back that morning, he'd never imagined Roger and Carmen to show up in the theater.

He didn't mean to fight with them at all, but also he was very well aware of how much they put Leo under pressure. He simply had to do something.

Yet, he still couldn't cope with that feeling inside. The very same feeling he had experienced when Roger quit their friendship. A new unknown mixture of having lost something important and the everlasting fear of someone close to him might get hurt.

When Pembroke had appeared behind them the feeling had been replaced by something much stronger all of a sudden, which Max had noticed in surprise. Angst.

The old man had been raging and disgusted at the same time. He 'd seen it. And he had frantically tried whatever was possible to make them understand what he had been trying to prevent them from. Whether they got it or just left because of that devil appearing there, he wasn't sure of.

Pembroke would never stand for it. He had seen and heard too much in the last few weeks not to be sure of it.

Rumors...that's all they were. At least that's what he kept telling himself over and over again.

And even though the public fear of theses 'faggots', as people commonly called them, grew from day to day and he noticed perfectly well how dangerous it was to admit anything out there, he couldn't really say if the old man was really a main figure behind this.

But then Pembroke turned to him, pulling him aside. From the corner of his eyes Max made sure Leo hadn't come after him immediately. There was no sign of him anywhere, so he followed his backer into a quiet corner off-stage.

"Now, I hope something like this remains a once in a lifetime incident," he said.

"As I told you I didn't know they were there," Max replied, trying to sound confident in his own words.

"Well, it leaves one thinking," Pembroke stated. Max tried to stay calm hearing that notion. He wanted to ask why at first, but swallowed the question for it might awoke more trouble than necessary.

"Who does this abomination think he is anyway," Pembroke continued more to himself. "Daring to speak to me like this. Unworthy, that's what this was."

"I'm sure he didn't...," Max wanted to interfere but was interrupted before finishing his attempt.

"He will regret this impudence, be sure of that," Pembroke said, addressing him directly again. His cold eyes were burning although his voice remained cool.

"What do you mean?" Max asked, now completely sure he must have noticed the concern in his voice and probably in his face too. "I mean, come on. He was only being a bit too cocky. There's no need to..."

"Oh yes, there is," Pembroke cut him off. "You should never surround yourself with their kind. Nothing but trouble and God only knows what they are trying to plant in people's heads. They are psychopaths and liars."

Max was speechless. He'd never heard Pembroke attack them so openly.

"That's what they try to let people think," he answered almost not audible.

"And can you blame anyone?" Pembroke got it immediately of course. "This is a disease of psychological nature. I could have had these...things arrested in an instance. It's against the law. It just disgusts me they walk around like that."

"They didn't do anything," Max said.

"Well, it won't be long and they'll get what they deserve, showing their abnormality for all the world to see. People are fighting them. And the police is trying to clean up the streets."

This was true. It became more and more difficult, especially for those trying to live openly in today's society. People were attacked in the streets and treated as though they were not worth anything. He'd read about it and heard even more, but luckily Max had never seen it anywhere. But then again no one ever had been as close to threaten Leo and not least himself as this guy. And listening to his rant about people who just wanted to be was horrid.

"Well, don't think you can fool me," he turned to Max once more.

"Fool you?"

And then he spoke the words Max had been dreading from the first day on: "That whining weird kid you call your partner has something to do with them!"

He wanted to shout, to deny it and punch the pure notion of Leo out of this loathsome face, but again Pembroke was much quicker.

"Don't tell me you haven't noticed?" he said.

Max just shook his head questioningly. What was he supposed to say? He couldn't let him turn the knife at Leo so obviously. But any notion, no matter how small, would have sounded unbelievable and made it even more suspicious.

To his horror that old face broke into a smile; a picture he'd never forget for the rest of his life.

Then Pembroke stepped closer to him, patting him on the shoulder once.

"Oh Max," he laughed. "It honors you, not having spent too much time around them then. But you see, there are not only the obvious kinds. Some of them hide, look like you or me and even move between us like normal people do. But they are just sick. It's a mental illness let me assure you. And it's wrong! And your partner... well, I don't know if he can be trusted."

"What? Leo?...He's...," Max tried to laugh; tried to make this sound ridiculous; anything... But his heartbeat was getting faster and faster. He didn't know what else to do.

"Oh, just look at the signs," Pembroke said. "A young man... How old is he? Thirty?"

"Thirty-five," Max replied quietly.

Pembroke simply nodded. "And living alone? Have you ever seen him making contact with anyone? No, all he does is sticking to you now and then. Then these weird habits. And the way he looks at everyone. Almost scared of people he seems..."

"You should have seen him a few years ago," Max thought by himself and almost grinned thinking about that time.

"And then there's that look...," he heard Pembroke go on and looked at him again.

"What look?"

"The look at you every now and then," he said, almost piercing Max with his gaze now.

"What?" Max felt his hands getting sweaty and he held his breath.

"You didn't notice of course, but beware," the old guy said. "I am almost sure what this means and I will keep an eye on him. I wouldn't want you getting bothered by one of them. And if my theory is true...well, believe me I will watch that boy."

Max felt dizzy. He didn't know what to do or what to think anymore. This was worse than he thought. All he wanted was to avoid him getting onto Roger and Carmen but now it appeared Leo had gotten in the line of fire all along. And that was the one thing Max wanted to avoid above everything else. He needed to do something. But what? Telling Leo to stay away from him completely in theater? No, that would never work. And it surely would paint an even badder picture of Leo.

Pembroke turned his back on him and left.

"He is crazy," Max thought, trying to calm himself. "What the hell have I done?"

….

"Attacked?"

There was absolutely no way Roger could really mean what he'd just said. Leo was sure he must have misunderstood him right now. But then there was this tall, usually good-looking man cringing on the floor, giving a picture of misery in a way Leo had never seen on him before. This was Roger after all. The very Roger who always somehow knew what to do.

"What do you mean attacked?" Leo breathed. He cast a short look over to Max who wasn't able to say anything. He just stared back at him with an expression as if he was about to panic any minute. It somehow reminded Leo more of himself than of the Max he knew.

"Just what I've said," Roger sobbed, looking up at Leo. "There was someone following him... At least that's what I could get out of him."

"Means he is well?" Leo asked quickly.

"You should see him," Tears were running down Roger's face now. "Oh my God... He did this. That monster. I am sure. I'll kill that man. I swear..."

"No. No," Leo knelt beside him and tried to comfort him. "You won't do anything. You are not even sure."

He doubted his own words that moment. Who else would be able to do something like this anyway? Leo shared his opinion but he knew very well the worst thing he could do right now was to agree with Roger. He looked up at Max desperately. But for once Max didn't seem to have any clue what to do either. He just stared at Roger on his floor wide-eyed. This was like a shock.

"Do you want us to accompany you back?" Leo asked after a while, turning his head to Roger once more.

"You can," Roger answered, now a little cooler. "But not him!"

His face changed as he glanced over at Max with pure hatred in his eyes. Instinctively Max backed away a little and Leo found himself in the middle, looking from one to the other without knowing what to do.

"Roger, he is...," he began.

"He is the reason this all happened," Roger screamed so suddenly that Leo jumped to his feet within a second, immediately followed by Roger who lifted himself up from the ground. "If he hadn't agreed to work with this monster none of this would have happened."

Leo's heart began to race. Again, he looked from Max to Roger and finally understood why Max didn't want to talk about his talk with Roger when he had asked.

"But...he just wanted to help..."

"Spare me Leo," Roger answered, now turning to the younger man. "All he cared about was the money this man offered. It's been like that for years. I just never thought he'd betray me or even worse you. I hope you are proud of what you have done, Max! Just don't ever come near us again!"

Thus did he walk to the door and left the office. Leo wanted to run after him, but stopped when he passed Max who had his eyes closed and his body leaned to a wall. Whether Roger had been right or not Leo couldn't tell. But somehow it felt wrong to just ignore his friend who seemed to swallow the accusations thrown at him a minute ago.

"Max?" he asked carefully.

"It's okay," Max answered quietly and opened his eyes to face him. "Go! They need you."

They looked into each others faces for a moment and Leo nodded shortly. Then he turned and ran after Roger.

He listened to their footsteps fading in the distance until there was only silence left. Max steadied himself by holding on to the door frame. He started to shiver and just stared to the ground. Even if he wanted to, he would never be able to explain the millions of thoughts that ran through his head that moment. And the painful sting of fear crawling up from deep inside grew bigger and bigger.

It was that moment he made the hardest decision he was ever forced to make.

….

Leo held his breath. It felt as though time had stopped for that moment. He was shocked to say the least. Seeing Carmen like this was something he hadn't been prepared for.

There were bruises all over him and although his head had been bandaged; which probably was the work of Roger and the others living in this house; red marks didn't hide the wounds on his head.

But after all he was awake, looking at Leo with through a black eye.

"It's good to see you," Carmen tried to smile through that notion but it looked more painful than anything else. Leo didn't know what to say. He was so much used to Carmen's mischievous smile that this was barely bearable. He wanted to say something. Ask the thousand questions he had in mind and at the same time he wanted to just embrace him and thank any deity there might was he was well.

Carmen on the other hand seemed to sense what was going on inside his younger friend as he slowly got up and came up to him. Only a heartbeat later Leo found himself in Carmen's arms and the feeling of gratitude outweighed everything else. His eyes were filling with tears and as hard as he tried to suppress them, in this very moment they'd won and he just gave in.

"Hey, everything's alright," he heard Carmen's voice, as he gently stroked Leo's back. "It's not the end of the world."

"You could have been killed," Leo sniffed quietly and let go of his friend, shaking his head in disbelief. "They could have done a lot more to you."

"But they didn't," Carmen remained stubborn.

Leo didn't understand why he stayed this relaxed, but somehow the quiet tone of his voice soothed him a little. He took a deep breath.

Reaching out and softly touching Carmen's cheeks, he asked: "Who did this?"

"I don't know for sure," Carmen replied, but was interrupted by Roger who was watching the whole scene from the door.

"Isn't that obvious?" he asked.

"I told you there was no sign of Pembroke anywhere," Carmen replied, looking over at his partner.

"Of course not," Roger moved from his spot and put his hands on Carmen's shoulders carefully, forcing him to sit down again. "You shouldn't overexert yourself just now. Well, do you honestly think he would have done this himself? No, let someone else do the dirty work. Otherwise it'd be too obvious he's behind it."

"Why should he get me beaten up? I mean what's the point?" Carmen insisted.

"He was furious about you verbally attacking him," Roger answered. "Don't tell me you're thinking otherwise."

"I don't," Carmen remained calm, which impressed Leo deeply. "But I think it is dangerous to rely on groundless suspicions."

"Groundless?"

"Well, I can't prove anything," Carmen answered, looking up at his partner.

"Did they say anything?" Leo tried to interfere. This sounded too much like something Pembroke would do and thinking about it accurately, he couldn't recall a time Roger and Carmen ever got into trouble for being how they were. At least not as long as Leo knew them. But he had to admit it's gotten more dangerous nowadays.

Carmen nodded. "They asked for my name and then said I was the one they were looking for..."

He looked away again and Leo figured it must be hard for him to think about it again.

"They said...," he began anew. "They said they'll teach me not to spread my weirdness on others..."

Leo swallowed hard. "How...how did you get away?"

He watched Carmen closely and only for a split second it seemed he was shaking his head slightly. But blinking once more, Leo wasn't so sure anymore until he heard Roger's voice, now a lot quieter, again.

"I've found him on the stairs outside," he said and Leo looked up again. It shocked him a little to see the very same expression he wore back at the office again on the older man's face. An expression of pity and worries. "I worried a lot when he wasn't back after more than three hours, so I decided to go looking for him and there he was... Unconscious and bleeding..."

He closed his eyes harshly until it looked almost painful. And all of a sudden, Leo felt more sorry for Roger than Carmen. What kind of horror must this have been. He shivered by the pure thought of experiencing something like this. But then again, he had...somehow. When Max had had his accident a year ago, he'd felt exactly the same way. Everything around him had crashed and the fear of having lost the most important person in his life was as real that moment as it had been back then.

"We have to do something," Leo said after a while, causing Roger and Carmen to look at him once more. "This can't go on. I mean... You...WE are not lifeless things! People must get we are human beings too. All this talk about being sick and abnormal and whatnot's gotta stop!"

Carmen was the first to shake his head. "Face it, Leo! No one cares! There is no we! This might be unfair and threatening, but not even our people care."

"And so what?" Leo asked, feeling the numbness of helplessness arising inside. "Let this happen over and over again? Read about gay people in the papers every other day who get humiliated and tortured? This ain't right!"

"Don't you realize what they are able to do?" Roger asked, cutting him short. "They'll print your name and whereabouts for all the world to see. They'll make it impossible for you to work or live. They'll beat you, maim you or kill you if they like. We are the decay of humanity. This'll never change!"

"Well, you were the one saying not to let it rest!"

"Until I saw what was possible," Roger almost screamed desperately. "Don't you see it, Leo? It's bad to hear these tings. But to experience them... No, there is nothing you can do about it!"

Leo hesitated and turned his hands to fists. Hearing words like these from someone like Roger made the situation even harder to bear. He felt helpless and desperate at the same time.

Looking at Carmen again, he loathed that Pembroke guy even more. Seeing his friend looking like he had just escaped from certain death made him unbelievably angry. He never thought he could really hate someone that much. How could people act like that?

"So, what if I'll bring you the evidence you need?" he asked.

And apparently, his words caused Roger to calm down a little. He looked at him as if he wanted to say something, but decided not to do so immediately. And then that stare followed the unpleasant silence that broke between them. Leo knew for sure he scanned him again, searching for the slightest clue in whatever he did to know exactly what he had planned in his mind. But for once, Leo was quicker.

"What if I can find out if Pembroke has something to do with this?" he kept on asking.

"Leo,no!"

Carmen got up from his chair and limped towards him quickly.

"This is suicide," he said, touching Leo's arm softly. "As far as I see it, he is not very favorably disposed on you anyway. This is far too dangerous. If he finds out, you'll probably be next. Leo, please! Don't do this!"

Leo was surprised how worried Carmen sounded all of a sudden. But the more he heard and the longer he looked into the eyes of the friends who'd always been there for him, the more determined he got to at least try it.

"What if I promise, I won't do anything stupid," he tried to explain. "But still could find out."

"How?"

"I mustn't interrogate myself," a slight grin scurried over his face.

"Well, who could you possibly ask?" Roger stepped between them. "Max? In that case, you could tell him everything yourself and count down the time until the destruction of everything you love happens."

But Leo just shook his head.

"No," he said. "What about Diane? He likes her. I'm sure, she can get any information we need."

"But...," Roger wanted to stop him, but almost froze in motion when Carmen held him back by grabbing his arm and nodding shortly in his direction.

Roger exhaled to calm himself down and then he grinned at his partner and Leo could sense the tension vanishing from him. His whole face softened and he gently stroked Carmen's cheek before turning to Leo again, nodding once.

"Alright," he said. "If she is willing to find out."

"But Leo," Carmen said. "Promise me, you'll be honest with her."

Leo looked back at him a bit confused, causing Carmen to smile.

"She is a nice person. She needs to know the truth," he said. "I mean everything. Without her knowing, it won't work."

Leo sighed and looked down. This was gonna be hard. He knew what Carmen meant and immediately felt clueless about how to tell her. How do you tell something you've kept a secret after all? But deep inside he knew Carmen was right. So, he nodded.

"I'll go now," he said almost a bit sentimentally. "Hope you'll recover quickly."

Roger and Carmen accompanied him to the door, waving after him as he left.

"You think she is the key?" Roger asked, still looking after Leo. And even though he knew the answer upfront, he somehow needed to hear it and knew in an instance Carmen nodded.

"Believe me, I've seen it," he answered. "She looks at him that way. Only thing he has to do is noticing it."

Thus did he turn to the older man, looking him straight in the eyes.

"I know this is the most awful thing to do," he said. "But I want him to be safe. And if that tiny ember of a crush she is definitely showing on him jumps over... It's a little chance to get him away from Max."

Again, Roger nodded.

"Pembroke won't notice anything. Leo'll be in a straight relationship and Max is out of all of our lives," he went on and Roger noticed tears in his eyes. "It's for his best. And it's a chance!"

Carmen felt the touch of Roger's hands carefully lifting his head up to him and only a second later, he kissed him softly.

"Let's hope it works then," he said.

….

Diane was sitting on the window ledge, holding her coffee mug and watching the city waking up. She enjoyed the sun rising behind the buildings, which stood there like huge trees and dipping everything within their shadows into black squares.

A light breeze was waving around her window and she was perfectly able to blind out the noise the city made in the distance. Sometimes that roaring lion slumbering in front of her house was scary, but on days like that not even the sounds affected her.

There was still time until she had to be in the theater again and so she decided to simply relax a little, closing her eyes and wondering when she had last felt that peaceful. She couldn't remember. But then, when had something as good as this happened to her the last time?

About a year ago she never believed her life would turn out to feel as good, if she was really honest to herself. But now...

A knock on her door made her almost slip her mug with shock and she wondered for a moment who would be knocking at her door at this time of the day. Her neighbors never wanted anything. They didn't even bother who else lived among them and she knew. And her friends lived too far away and usually never came here without announcing it before.

She got up and walked through her tiny apartment to the door, opening it just a little and eying through the slot. Almost falling backwards to the floor she instantly opened it wide open as soon as she realized who her visitor was.

"What are you doing here?" she asked in surprise, blushing slightly as she looked up at Leo who had to laugh seeing her like that. It wasn't at all normal someone felt surprised by his visit. And never before had someone started to blush seeing him.

"Oh, I didn't mean to ambush you like that but I had no other idea how to contact you," he smiled, looking down at her. "I hope you don't mind. Got your address from your contract."

"No, no. Not at all," she interrupted him. "Please, come in."

She closed the door carefully behind them and watched Leo from aside. He stood in the middle of her apartment and looked around.

There wasn't much space, he must admit. One room with a little kitchen unit attached to what appeared to be the living room. There was another partition wall decorated with colorful cloths and one was tricked to believe a smallish bedroom was behind it, although it still was the same room. There were indoor plants everywhere and every now and then a little decoration article sat between them. The whole floor was covered in books and hundreds of pictures, posters and photographs decorated the red brick stone walls.

"Looks like Max could live here," Leo thought, smiling slightly. Then he noticed her stare and felt his ears getting hot. He cleared his throat once, feeling a little embarrassed having been caught to seemingly having been that curious. It hadn't been intentional at all.

"Sorry," he mumbled, avoiding her eyes.

Diane on the other hand just shook her head without losing her smile.

"It's okay," she replied. "Just look around as long as you like. It's not much, I know..."

"I think it's great," Leo answered more to himself, and the next moment could kick himself again for speaking out loud what he was thinking that quickly. What the heck was the matter with him? He wasn't at all the kind of person to speak about everything that crossed his mind.

"Can I offer you anything to drink?" Diane asked, giggling again. "Unfortunately...I ...er...only have some coffee."

"Coffee's fine," Leo said, following her.

"You can sit down wherever you like," she said, turning her back on him.

Leo did as he was told, putting aside some books from a nearby armchair. He watched Diane for a moment until his gaze fell upon a photograph of two people standing on a small white table next to him. One of them was her. A little younger though, but she smiled exactly the way Diane still did. Leo noticed the little wrinkles near her eyes and on her nose whenever she did it. The other person he didn't know. A brown haired man who seemed to carry her and smiled at her, looking starry-eyed. Was this her husband? She'd told him about him.

"He died about a year ago," he heard her silent voice from next to him and turned. Diane was sitting next to him on the ground, resting her arms on the armrest and looking at the picture as well.

"I'm sorry," Leo replied. "I shouldn't look around like that."

"It's fine, silly," she said, prodding his arm. "I don't put pictures up so no one looks at them. And this place is tiny. You've surely noticed. There is no way you can miss anything."

"So, he was still alive when we met for the first time?" Leo asked a little shyly.

She nodded.

"Yeah, he was sick. They diagnosed him with cancer a year before and didn't give him much more than three months," she said. "He got lucky to have made it that long. When he stopped working due to his disease, I had to do triple shifts to keep us above the water. But then..."

"I am sorry," Leo repeated, feeling bad for having asked.

"You don't have to," she smiled at him openly. "Such is life. I moved after it happened, for I couldn't afford our apartment alone then. And there had been too many memories sticking to the place after all."

"Sounds like you're over it," he said, looking back at her.

"I never will be," she grinned. "But there's nothing I can do about it. Some things are meant to be. And he wouldn't want me to be miserable for the rest of my life."

And once more Leo felt a great wave of admiration towards her. He could never be like that. Even though he'd tried to be a more positive person for years, he had to deal with that old shadow of himself every now and then all the time. She surely went through a lot and he knew for sure he wasn't the only one with a traumatic childhood but somehow he just couldn't break his chains.

"So," he heard her again and once more felt odd, letting his mind wander like that.

"How is your girl?" she asked and Leo immediately felt a knot in his stomach.

"Erm... fine," he answered hesitantly.

"Just fine?" she laughed. "Oh well, the first time we met you've had a fight with her, if I remember right. I really hoped it will work out for you."

"Yes, well..it did." He tried to smile, but felt it was way too obvious he was thinking about how to change the subject.

"You don't have to say anything," she said, now losing her smile and resting her back on the armchair, sipping her coffee. "I'm being too curious anyway."

"We're fine really...," he said and realized he wished for her to keep talking.

"Really?" she was raising one eyebrow, turning to him and grinned again. "Well, you don't speak very often about her."

"We...we have our problems, but who doesn't?" he replied, hoping she wouldn't ask any more.

"That's true," she took another sip. "And fights are not that rare. All I wanted to say is that I had kind of worried about you. I mean a fight causing you to leave...sounds rather heavy to me."

"Well, sometimes it's still hard," he said a lot quieter now. "Especially if one of you chooses to stop talking or showing what's going on inside. It does make you feel lonely sometimes."

She listened to him without moving the slightest bit. Something about his voice and his look was so desperate. Diane noticed of course it was hard for him to speak about her. He almost hid his relationship from the world. This indeed was the first time he let something slip.

"Hm," she then grinned, closing her eyes. "I see."

"What?"

"Just what I've told you a year ago," she said, looking at him again. "There must be a reason you're still sticking to her. And I guess that reason is simple. You love her. As simple as tht. But when she is pulling herself apart, well. Then both of you have to do something about it or it's not worth the time you've spent trying."

Leo turned his head away and had to laugh. He knew it must have looked odd, but he couldn't help it. It was so amazing. All his life he thought he'd been a simple gray person, just like everybody else and he tried to keep his fears to himself ever since he'd met Max but obviously he still was an open book to just everyone. But then, Roger, Carmen and Max knew him much longer and way better than this girl. How ever she did that, it impressed him.

"You are very cute," he said, opening his eyes again and being shocked about having said that. He turned slowly to find her giggling. She indeed looked cute doing this. And for the first time since he knew her, he noticed how small she was. And thus how fragile she appeared to be without really being it. The irresistible urge of wanting to protect her somehow shot through him and suddenly he didn't want her to risk everything for his sake, talking to that Pembroke bastard. Holy...Why the hell did he say all that in front of her? And just as predicted that horrible blush appeared on his face again. He could feel his cheeks getting hotter.

"So, why did you come here in the first place?" she asked after a while and her blue eyes met his. "Surely you didn't just need to get out and have a little chat with someone."

"What makes you think so? Maybe it was exactly that," he deviously grinned back at her, moving a bit closer and putting his head in his supported hand.

"Oh, I'm sure you have your friends for that," she said, coming closer too in a mocking way until their noses almost touched.

Leo hesitated. Being reminded of his friends made him remember why he had come here in the first place. And his mood changed all of a sudden. This wasn't right. He wanted to help Carmen, but he couldn't put her on the fence instead. She had nothing to do with it. And her life just turned into a good direction again. Who was he to destroy that again?

"Forgive me Carmen," he thought by himself.

"I...I indeed just needed someone to talk," he said, moving away again and looking into another direction. "Something happened and I just needed to tell someone somehow. I'm sorry I bothered you."

He got up then and headed towards the door, turning half way again.

"I see you later then," he said, but she was up to her feet as well, grabbing his hand.

"You have no feeling for time then, Mr. Bloom," she smiled, grabbing her coat and bag and quickly slipped into her shoes as well. "I have to go there too. If you don't mind we can walk together."

Leo nodded slowly. He indeed had forgotten about the time and almost had to laugh about himself. It also never happened before.

"One question though," she asked, stopping in front of him. "Why don't you talk to your girlfriend when something's wrong?"

"I can't," he answered, looking straight into her eyes. "She is at work now."

"I see," she hooked into his arm and much to his surprise he didn't mind at all.

Still smiling at her, they left the little apartment and went on their way to the theater. And for once, Leo felt this work day didn't start quite as miserable as the others ever since Pembroke was in his life.

And it confused him more than anything else.

~To be continued~


	8. The mistake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much to say... Read it! Hate me! XD *hides* ... And let me know what you think ;)

„You know, you can also tell me. I mean if you need to get it off your chest."

She looked at him with her big blue eyes and Leo seriously started to wonder why he let himself lead to answer whatever she wanted to know whenever she looked at him like that. It was almost jinxed somehow.

"Of course, you don't have to," she smiled while they walked down Broadway. The cab-ride there hadn't taken too long and it had been Diane's idea to walk the rest of the way. Maybe she just wanted to know a little more; something Leo hated usually. But funny enough, now he didn't mind at all. On the contrary, he enjoyed the time he spent with her more and more.

"Alright," he took a deep breath. "You remember Carmen? You know..."

"Yes, your adorable friend," she said delightedly. "How is he?"

"Not too good, unfortunately," Leo replied and suddenly felt incapable of looking at her. It was as though the tissue of many many lies he had told her collapsed any minute if he spoke one more word. But then they weren't really lies, were they? He'd just decided not to show all of his cards.

"He's been attacked," he stopped. The image of Carmen had found its way back into his head now that he spoke of him and as hard as he had tried to convince himself everything's gonna be back to normal again, he now realized it wouldn't. Not as long as this picture stayed burned in his brain.

He never once wanted to see anyone close to him like this.

Diane didn't make a sound and when Leo turned again she was white as a sheet, looking at him with shocked eyes.

"What do you mean attacked?" she gasped, clutching her hands in front of her mouth.

"Have you heard of what people think about the homosexuals in town? The ones on 42nd Street or in Greenwich? Or all the others around the city. Anyone in general?" he asked cautiously, not taking his hands out of his pockets. Maybe he wanted to give the impression of being cool about it and maybe it even worked. But the main reason was, he needed his blanket to stay sane. The urge to touch it had almost vanished in the past years but he still carried it around everywhere, just to have something familiar close to himself. Of course, Diane couldn't know about it.

She nodded slowly.

"I know what people think," she managed to answer, but the color of her skin didn't turn back to normal. "And I've heard of what they do... It's horrible."

"It is," Leo agreed quietly, looking at his feet. "I always thought, you know... I always thought Roger and Carmen were somehow safe from the stupidity of people. I can't explain it, really. But somehow...Everyone around us knew. And if they didn't know they'd found out immediately after looking at them. But now, it seems not even they are safe."

"Wait a minute," Diane stepped closer carefully. "Are you trying to tell me people did something to him?"

Leo didn't answer, but looked away again quickly. He shouldn't have started it. It could lead to so many more questions.

"Leo, please," she urged him. "What happened?"

He sighed. It seemed there was no way out now. And, while still wondering whether he took a step too far or not, he answered:

"He... They've attacked him on the streets. He looks horrible. From what I know it had been three of them...beating him up..."

He avoided her eyes; afraid of letting show too much.

Diane wasn't able to reply anything at first. The pure image of someone doing this to another person shocked her beyond belief. And then she had her problems really realizing Leo was talking about Carmen. That nice, charming man she had the pleasure of getting to know a little. How could anyone just do this?

"Is he...," her voice sounded hoarse. It almost felt painful to ask that question and suddenly she didn't feel able to end it.

Leo shook his head.

"He's alive and fine so far," he replied silently. "It's just... It's so close now somehow. And it's gotten real now. Roger was right. It is indeed somewhat different to hear about it, but being there. Looking into his face and seeing all those bruises..."

"Have you been to the police?" she asked, touching his shoulder softly which caused Leo to turn to her again.

"No," he breathed.

"Why not?" She didn't sound demanding and didn't look like it either. No, she looked worried a lot. Worried about Carmen but more importantly, worried about Leo. He noticed in surprise. It was almost as though she couldn't see him thinking about what could have happened to his friend. But was that possible?

Leo didn't turn his eyes away nor did he dare to blink. How was she doing this?

"They wouldn't do anything," he replied after a while and judged by her uncomprehending look he added: "They would notice too. And it's not like the police will ignore. After all, they are the ones 'cleaning' the streets. No, there is nothing we can do!"

"We?"

Leo flinched by that question. Damn! Why did he say that?

"Oh, well...You know...We!" he answered quickly. "I wanna help them, of course."

"Of course," she agreed. "That's what friends do after all."

Having held his breath for a moment, Leo now exhaled in a strained way. Looking back at her and seeing her smile, he relaxed a little. Yes, they were friends. And there was nothing wrong about helping a friend. Who wouldn't do that after all?

So, he lifted his mouth to a small smile as well and his face softened.

"What?" she grinned, having noticed it of course.

"Nothing," he replied and continued walking. "You just reminded me of someone..."

"Really? Who?" she laughed.

"Of me," he said.

And it was true. He had been so scared of something might happen and it had been a shock to witness what indeed was possible, that he was too tense all the time. He just noticed now. That horror Pembroke spread around didn't skip him at all, even though he had tried to ignore it.

They were his friends. The most important thing now was being there for them.

"Does Max know?"

He turned his head a little too quickly at that question and almost jostled a pedestrian close to him. But the man quickly dodged him immediately, swearing awfully. Leo wasn't prepared to get a question like that from one side and tremendous insults from the other. He stumbled a little, but Diane was quicker and supported him by literally catching him and holding him close. It must have looked pretty silly for she started to laugh out loud as soon as they both stood firmly on their feet again.

"I am sorry," she managed to say underneath her laughter. "I just figured you get along well. You simply must, working together for so long. It's like, what? Eight years or something?"

"Ten!" Leo still looked at her in disbelief, but then relaxed again and let go of her. "Sorry."

"No need to feel sorry," Diane was still giggling and there was something highly intoxicating about it.

"Yes, we get along fine," he answered. He shouldn't be that suspicious all the time. There was absolutely no way she could know. "He's become the best friend I've ever had, so yes. He knows. I met Carmen and Roger through him actually."

"Really?" She walked in almost dance-like steps next to him, wiping away the tears of laughter from her eyes with her sleeve. "He doesn't seem like a person to surround himself with someone like Carmen though."

"Well, it's more Roger and Max," he answered, wondering just once more why he told her all of that. "Carmen and Max can't exactly stand each other."

"Now, that's more like it," she hesitated shortly and then looked at Leo again with bright eyes.

"But then, if he is your best friend I may be wrong," she said. "He just doesn't talk much, does he?"

It made Leo snort mentally.

"You don't know jack about him then," he thought, but chose not to answer.

"Maybe I should just get to know him better," she smiled after having watched him for a minute.

"Well, talk to him then," Leo answered, smiling back. "He won't bite."

"Maybe I will," she answered joyfully.

…

They entered the theater way too early and Leo found it a little funny how little his sense of time seemed to work today. He'd always thought it worked even when he wasn't paying attention, but being there way before his schedule was somehow a new experience. He wished for Max to show up soon, for he needed to tell him about Carmen but there was no sign of him anywhere.

So, he spent his time sitting on stage with Diane and going through her lines with her.

From time to time he looked around at the door in case he'd missed someone entering, but every time he simply shook his head. There was no way to miss anyone really. That door was loud falling shut. And he doubted Pembroke would show up before Max did.

"You're waiting for someone?" he heard Diane's voice from next to him.

"Yes," he replied silently. "Max. I want to talk to him..."

"Really?" Her voice sounded rather unbelieving.

Leo grinned.

"What's there to doubt?" he asked, looking at her again.

Diane shrugged, pulling some papers which lay loose on the ground closer to herself.

"I figured you don't talk much," she said, not looking at him. "At least not while you are here. It appears to me he is working with Mr. Pembroke more than with you."

Leo looked down again. He thought it was just his own impression but since Diane couldn't possibly know how they used to work before, it must have been very obvious from the outside as well.

"I'm sorry, that came out wrong," he heard her again. "You said you get along well. It's just my silly impression."

Leo lifted his head and without really realizing it, smiled again.

"You think we don't talk?" he asked silently.

"Well, do you?" she asked, but somehow that question didn't sound like a question at all. It was more as though she tried to convince him of her statement, instead of really expecting an answer.

Leo kept staring at her, now expressionless. How came she supposedly knew everything that was going on without being involved? It was as though Roger was in the same room with him; almost as though she could read his mind. Or maybe, and this idea suited Leo much better than any suspicious little thought before, she was just amazingly good at reading people. Or was it just him? He looked into those blue eyes which kept staring back at him without omission. And he noticed in surprise how the urge to flee or turn away from them vanished. How very peculiar. There was only one person that usually looked at him like that. And she couldn't know anything from that person, since she never spoke to him really. She told him just about an hour ago.

And there it was again. That embarrassing heat sneaking up his body into his face. He felt the blush appearing on his cheeks and almost feared his breath would give away too much of these whacky thoughts controlling his head right now. So, looking almost shocked for a split second Leo turned away quickly.

"What is it?" she asked softly, touching his hand.

But as soon as he felt her skin touching his own, Leo pulled his hand away as fast as he could and it almost froze in midair.

"I-I'm sorry," he said, getting up quickly. "I didn't mean to...I shouldn't...Aaagh!"

He tousled his hair and turned his back on her, just wanting to get out. To get away. She said something. He could hear her clearly but simply didn't get any words. He was just walking straight ahead, no matter where it would lead him.

When he reached a red brick-stone wall in the deepest corner of the theater somewhere backstage, Leo stopped leaning to it with one arm. He rested his head on it and even though his breath became slower and the excitement swirling through his body calmed down more and more, his eyes fixated the ground shocked. He didn't get it. What was that about? He'd let her lead him into talking way too much. She shouldn't know the things he told her and more importantly not the things he had almost been about to tell her. She was a perfect stranger to him. Not even a friend. She knew as good as nothing about him.

But then, she seemed to know almost everything without him ever having told her.

Leo closed his eyes. He needed to calm down. But as soon as the soothing darkness surrounded him he saw her eyes before him again.

"That look," he thought. "I know that look. Max looks at me like that. But it just can't be!"

This realization made him almost dizzy. How could he have been so blind. All those questions about his relationship. And himself. And the awareness of why she never had been afraid of being close to him; even why she didn't seem to find him weird or crazy or whatever everyone else was thinking.

But why did it feel so good having her around? Because he considered her as something close to a friend? Yes, that simply must be the reason. He liked her a lot. And he owed her a lot. And there were very few people who just took him the way he was.

But then he'd never blushed near Carmen or Roger before. This was scary.

"Leo?"

He whirled around only to find Diane standing some feet away, almost intimidated.

"Did I say anything to upset you?" she asked a little unsure. And even though she didn't move a bit her look said she was about to come closer.

Leo didn't know what to say. This was confusing. If his suspicion was true he had to say something. But he didn't want to hurt her. Not in the slightest.

He sighed. Why did he have to face this? People usually ignored him. They always did. But ever since he'd met Max even this seemed to have changed. First there had been Ulla and now Diane. He had never imagined this could be possible. He kept telling himself he wasn't someone women liked. But then, if someone had told him he'd have good chances with men as well, he had died laughing instantly.

And the next moment he thought about Max again. How could he have forgotten him? He had fallen for him too. And Leo had accepted this. No, not accepted. He shared it. He lived with him. Damn it, he loved a man. Why was that so hard to explain? And did this mean he really had to tell her? He wasn't sure. All he knew was, he had been on the threshold of blowing their disguise in front of Diane a couple of times now.

Leo looked at her again and then shook his head slowly.

"No," he sighed. "No, you didn't. I'm sorry."

"Well, then...," she said and he could sense her coming closer carefully. "Why don't you dare to trust me?"

But instead of approaching him any more she sat down on the cold dusty floor, staring in a different direction.

"It's...It's not that...," Leo answered. "You... I just... "

He just couldn't explain it. This felt weird. A little voice inside him really wanted to, but his mouth just wouldn't work the way it was supposed to.

She didn't say anything. She simply kept on sitting there in front of him almost motionless, waiting for a word; a gesture; a little hint of what was wrong with him.

Leo shook his head but this time more to himself and slowly walked over to her. He sat down next to Diane, careful not to meet her eyes.

"You kind of scare me, that's all," he said silently, wondering whether that sounded stupid or not.

"Why?" she asked.

"Because I tell you things I can't even tell myself," he replied after a moment.

It was the truth. There were no words to describe it any better. And when he finally dared to turn again and face her, she was smiling at him.

"I'm sorry," he repeated. "I know this sounds strange. And I don't know why I am doing this. I shouldn't, that's for sure."

But he couldn't explain any more. Diane flung her arms around him, hugging him tightly. Leo was so taken aback for a moment, his body stiffened and even if he wanted to it just wouldn't move. But then, still holding his hands she backed away a bit and looked into his eye. Again with that look.

"I didn't mean to scare you," she said as tears appeared in her eyes. It gave Leo goosebumps to witness it. "I don't know why but I so hoped for you to trust me. And you just proved me right without either of us noticing it. I-I really hoped we could be friends."

Hearing these words, Leo felt strangely touched. And he felt the tension inside of him vanish. He couldn't endure seeing someone cry. Least because of him. So, he bent forward joining her hug.

She sure was surprised. Both of them noticed but neither of them felt scared that moment.

"But we already are," he whispered without opening his eyes. "We've been for a long time actually."

If only he knew before what happened then, he would have run away. He'd never allowed himself to let it happen at all. He would have fought it with everything he was.

But sadly enough, he had never been that kind of person.

And as Diane looked at him once more, he wasn't scared at all. No, he somehow felt lost in her eyes that very moment, diving deep into them. He didn't even flinch a bit when she bent forwards again and he felt her lips on his only seconds later.

His body tingled. He closed his eyes and for a moment felt like melting away, feeling nothing but her lips and her timid breath on his skin; smelling her flowery perfume.

But when her hand touched his face softly, he suddenly was shaken awake rudely. His eyes widened and he pulled away as quickly as he could.

These blue eyes followed him, staring at him questioningly. Leo wasn't able to turn away from them, but he was shocked.

This has been for real. It had happened. His body was starting to shake and his heart pounded in his ears. And though someone else acted through him he shook his head in disbelief, not looking away.

"No...," he whispered. But was it meant for her? Or did he address himself? Who did he want to stop here? He wasn't sure.

The image of Max appeared in front of him. This was wrong. This never should have happened.

But before he could say anything he heard a voice behind them, causing both of them to turn in a haste.

"Ah, I see," Pembroke stood in the small alley almost in the dark but eyed both of them knowingly.

His cold eyes almost rested on Leo when he stepped into the light a little more.

"Trying to make contact after all, are we?" he grinned. A grin that was beyond creepy. "I must admit, I didn't believe you would honestly dare to. But alright, I'm playing along. At least you've proven a good taste."

He cast a much friendlier smile towards Diane, who blushed immediately.

This was so awkward. It felt like being caught by a parent doing something forbidden somehow.

Leo tried to stay calm. He told himself over and over again there was nothing wrong with him having seen it. And after all, Diane had been kissing him. There was absolutely no way anyone could say a bad words about that.

That thought almost soothed him. He started to believe his own words, when a cold shiver ran down his spine. He was thunderstruck, when he saw Max appearing right behind Pembroke.

He stared at Leo with a mixture of shock and disbelief. He changed his look quickly, yet he remained where he was petrified. Leo did stare back at him and hoped instantly he would be able to read his mind this time. It hadn't been his fault. He didn't want this to happen.

"Well, well, well," Pembroke returned to Max, patting his shoulder a few times. "It seems my hard words really took affect. It's good you talked to him. It'd be a shame to have something happen to him, right?"

Max didn't look up or answer or even paid attention to how close Pembroke was right now. All he did was keep staring at his partner there on the ground.

"I guess in that case," Pembroke turned to Leo and Diane once more. "We can finally start to work in a real way, Mr. Bloom. I am sorry about it. But I'm sure you understand I needed to check first. I hope we can forget this little misunderstanding."

Thus he turned, leaving the three of them alone.

Leo couldn't take his eyes away from Max. If only he would show any emotion. Any sign of being angry. If only he started screaming or at least said anything. But no. Nothing.

A never before known fear awoke inside of Leo.

He had been abusing his partner's trust. He had been kicking their relationship without giving it a second thought. He had been cheating on him. And worst of all in front of anyone to see.

"Max...I...," he started hoarsely. But Max didn't react. He closed his eyes for a second as if thinking about how to reply. And then he just turned his back on him and went after Pembroke, leaving Leo to himself.

"No," Leo thought, staring after him wide-eyed.

"Leo, I'm sorry."

Diane. She was still there. Leo turned his head in her direction, not being aware she must notice his shocked face as well.

"I didn't want Pembroke to go against you," she said. "And I am sorry for this. I know you have your girlfriend. I- I don't know what's gotten into me. I am really sorry."

She got up quickly, turning her head down.

"It won't happen again," she said and then left him as well.

It took him quite some time to realize what had happened just now. He didn't really get what Diane had tried to say nor did he think about her nearly having heard his pathetic attempt to apologize to the one he loved more than anything else in this world. Everything he was, everything he could think of and everything that mattered in that single moment was Max.

Leo stared after him again.

"What have I done?" he thought desperately.

…..

Carmen sat on a chair next to the kitchen table, staring into his cup of tea without moving. The lack of words was as unfamiliar as seeing the fearful face he now wore as his only accessory. Roger on the other hand, was the one that made Leo really uncomfortable. He just walked up and down the kitchen with his arms crossed and his hand on his mouth. Leo watched him for an eternity. At least that's how it felt. Surely, it's been only four or five minutes but he didn't really dare to take a look. Time wasn't something he'd call his friend right now.

"So," Finally Carmen's voice echoed through the room and literally cut through that wall of silence and, even though he spoke quietly and raspy, it caused Leo to jerk hearing it so unexpectedly.

"It was him?" Carmen's eyes met Leo's.

"I-I don't know for sure," Leo rubbed his sleeves.

He was still shivering and somehow not able to really stay focused. However he had survived that night, he wasn't sure. But it had been a nightmare. He had come here to tell them what he'd found out as soon as he got up, but he knew they could tell something wasn't right.

And as much as the young man enjoyed their presence usually, he felt teared apart and restless right now. He wanted to go. Home. Where he belonged. The way it had been before. Where he could set things right. And yet, he feared nothing more than the moment he really had to go.

"I think he's said enough," Roger interrupted.

"All he said was it would have been a shame if something happened to me," Leo replied silently without even looking up. Repeating it brought back that horrifying scene once more.

"Proof enough he was planning to," Roger fumed. "And God knows he's done it before. Luckily without much success."

"He's right, Leo. Who knows what might have happened to you," Carmen still looked at him with these heart-breaking eyes. Leo hated these eyes. He wanted Carmen the way he'd always been. And Roger. And everything. It was hard for him to endure this reality. No, not hard. Unbearable.

And before he could do anything to prevail over the emotions fighting inside of him and making him shiver, he almost collapsed under the weight of them. Quickly, he turned his head to the ground, supporting it with both his hands and trying to stop these god-damn tears from coming. But it seemed he even lost that one, hearing them drip on the table in numb splashes. He tried not to let any sound reveal them but it didn't matter anyway, for his two friends had already noticed.

Roger and Carmen looked at each other the very next moment. The anger vanished from Roger's face immediately. It was hard to find the right words to reach Leo right now. All he could do is watching him suffer in that unnamed pain surrounding every inch of him.

The scratching of a chair being pulled back quickly broke their helplessness.

Carmen slowly moved towards Leo who didn't even notice. But he was forced to look up in a gentle way, when Carmen cupped his face with both his hands and turned his head carefully towards himself.

"You shouldn't hide what's going on inside," he softly said, looking into the watery brown eyes of Leo.

"I'm sorry," Carmen's words only caused more tears streaming down his cheeks now. "It's just... I..."

But Carmen quickly shushed him by putting one finger over his mouth gently and shook his head, smiling.

"It wasn't your fault," he continued after Leo managed to look at him again. "It wasn't! You couldn't possibly know she would do that."

And he meant it. There was no way anyone could have guessed it. And even though Carmen nearly jumped with joy, getting to know his 'plan' indeed had worked out, he didn't know what to feel now. It might have been a lot easier if Leo and Diane simply had shared that kiss alone, with him getting the time to feel okay about it. There might have been a chance he'd recognize how impossible it was to live like he used to for him nowadays.

But with Max watching it... and ignoring it. Well, Carmen had to admit he'd made one major mistake in thinking this would work. And that was Leo who didn't agree with all this. Who didn't seem at all interested in that girl and who suffered more than they had intended.

It almost broke his heart having to witness it.

"He...did you get the chance to talk things out?" Roger asked now shyly. He tried hard not to let his disinterest for Max's reaction show. But he'd do everything right now to help Leo in any way. Hell, no one was that heartless and he hated nothing more than helplessness.

Leo on the other hand looked down again, shaking his head. He steadied his head on his arm once more and kept staring straight ahead.

"I tried to explain," he almost whispered. "He said 'Just forget it. It doesn't matter' and turned. He didn't speak to me ever since. He...he even spent the night on the couch... And..."

He swallowed hard and just couldn't go on. He'd ruined everything. And even though Max told him to forget it, how on earth could he? He'd never before seen him act so coldly towards him. And never before had he been ignored by his partner without getting a chance to explain anything.

"That suits him," Roger murmured and didn't really intend for Leo to hear it, but bid his lips when his young friend looked up at him shocked.

"Roger!" Carmen's shot.

"Well, I-I'm sorry," he said and stepped closer as well. And for once, almost compassionate, he put his hand on Leo's shoulder as well, casting one more look of pity to Carmen.

"Come on Leo," he said in a low calm voice. "Don't you think this is something you can work out? I mean, just give him a few days. He'll calm down."

"Yeah," Leo quietly answered without really agreeing. Then he got up slowly, rubbed over his face with the palm of his hand and moved towards the door.

"Leo?"

He turned once more as Carmen stopped him. He took him in his arms tightly and immediately Leo felt like crying out loud again. He simply pressed his face onto Carmen's shoulder, trying not to let it show.

"You'll be alright," the slender man whispered into his ear. "Roger's right. Just give him some time. This'll pass, believe me."

Leo simply nodded but didn't answer at all. Even when Carmen stroked gently through his hair and kissed his forehead once, he couldn't say anything. He didn't even really look at him. All he did was nodding again shortly and then turned almost lazily to leave.

"Well, look on the bright side," Roger joined them in the door- frame. "At least you've got Pembroke to believe you're not one of us now."

Leo had stopped to listen to him but didn't turn. In fact, he hadn't even moved a bit. And without saying anything, he just continued moving to the door and left them.

They didn't even hear the door falling shut, when Carmen whirled around to his partner in a fury.

"You had to say that, hadn't you?" he attacked him.

"What?"

"How could you do that?" the smaller one continued. "He is suffering. How can you ignore that?"

"Hey, it was your idea to let him meet that girl," Roger defended himself, pulling his hands up in the air. "And it was the truth. He couldn't probably be better off than that. He's off Pembroke's list and your plan seems to work."

"How about a little compassion?"

"What? Well, look who's talking?" Roger was speechless. "Getting him to pair up with some actress is more compassionate then? It worked out very well the last time, if I remember right!"

Carmen stepped back from Roger, looking shocked.

"How can you say that?" he whispered in disbelief. "I was merely trying to help him. And you agreed it would be the best."

"But don't you get it?" Roger screamed. "He could end up ...Well, forget it!"

Roger was about to turn, when Carmen held him back.

"What?" he screamed back. "End up like me?"

Roger looked into the eyes of his partner and suddenly became completely calm. He sighed.

"No...Just, forget it."

"No, Rog. Say, what you wanted to," Carmen yelled and he felt tears welling up in his eyes out of anger. "End up like me! That's what you wanted to say, right?"

"Darling..."

"Am I right?" he looked almost desperate in his anger now. "Don't you understand? I really care for that boy! I said before it's a foul and rotten thing to make them split up. And to be quite honest with you I really doubt my own sanity just now, seeing him like this. Playing with his feelings without thinking about it for a second... But at least, I did it for something good. But with you telling me I 'ended up' like this...," he swallowed hard. "How can you say that as if I were just a ...a thing?"

"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, GOD DAMN IT!" Roger turned so fast, it caused Carmen to back away a few steps in pure surprise. "Don't you get it? I thought I'd lost you! And that feeling...that...that panic I felt back then... And the fear of facing a life without you... I don't want him to go through that too. I don't want him to get hurt. Neither in a physical nor emotional way. Because, I went through hell. And I don't want the ones I love to experience this as well."

When he finally took a breath again he turned away quickly, wiping away the tears in his own eyes that appeared without him having any control over them; simply out of the returning image of an unconscious Carmen lying on the steps outside. How could anyone want another person to might go through this too? No, Carmen was wrong. He cared for Leo. More than he wanted to admit in front of his partner, but he just burst right now. It had been ages since someone had made him that angry.

And then, he felt a hand on his shoulder. And knew his partner understood perfectly. So, his own hand simply joined Carmen's. There wasn't even a need to look at him.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he heard his voice, just as quiet and raspy as it had been for the past two days.

Roger shook his head and forced himself into a smile. And finally he turned and looked into that face. That face that made everything that happened around them less important.

"You are not a thing," he whispered, touching Carmen's cheeks softly. "You never were and you never will be. Damn it, you are the only one that matters to me."

"Then...why..."

"Because this scares me," Roger interrupted the question. There was no need to ask. He could read Carmen like an open book and knew what was going on inside of him. "A lot to be honest."

And to his relief he discovered the secret hint of a smile in the corners of Carmen's mouth too and noticed his look softened.

"I don't know what else to do," the younger man said silently. "I don't know how to show that devil."

"But I do," Roger replied, taking Carmen's hand and getting down on one knee, never letting him out of his gaze.

Carmen blushed immediately, his jaw dropped and his eyes grew wider. But Roger didn't mind. He meant it and he couldn't think of a better time than right now.

"Marry me!"

….

Leo took a deep breath before entering the office. He touched the doorknob but it took him an eternity to convince his hand to finally turn it. Holding his breath he slowly entered. Quickly he looked around, scanning the whole room with his eyes.

Max didn't seem to be there. So, he closed the door as quietly as he could. He was scared. But of what? Of having to face another day of being ignored? Of talking to the one he loved?

Once more, he noticed how little he understood himself sometimes. This was ridiculous. He needed to get it off his chest; needed to convince Max he didn't intend any of that to happen. And he used to talk to him about everything. This just couldn't be as hard as his head wanted to make him believe it was.

"Do you want to stand there forever?"

Startled, he whirled around. Max was standing in the door to the kitchen, leaning on the frame with one shoulder and watching him. He had his arms crossed and managed to hold that stare almost motionless.

"I-I didn't know you were here," Leo stuttered.

"Where else should I be?" Max answered coldly. "There are no rehearsals today, as you very well know."

Thus he turned and was about to leave Leo alone. He didn't even ask where Leo had been.

Leo closed his eyes for a second, sighing deeply. This just couldn't go on.

"Max?" He asked hesitantly and much to his surprise his partner stopped, but didn't turn.

So, Leo took another deep breath.

"Carmen's better," he started.

"So?"

God, why couldn't he even turn? This was like talking to a stranger.

"Listen, erm," Leo tried anew, now much quieter. "I-I really didn't mean to upset you. It just...happened and..."

"I told you, there is no need to worry about it," Max replied, still not turning. "She kissed you and you backed away. I know! I saw! Will you excuse me now? I still got things to do."

But this time, Leo was faster. He jumped after Max and now almost yelled at him.

"What is it then? Why can't we talk about it? What have I done to make you act this way? Please, I gotta know. Start screaming. Be angry. But please! Don't let me out in the rain with everything. If there is anyth..."

"IT'S NOTHING," Max whirled around facing Leo, but it came so suddenly the younger man almost jumped back again. "I told you it's nothing. Why can't you let it be? I am not angry, okay? Just...please, don't talk to me for a while..."

"But why?" Leo asked once more shyly as Max left the room.

No, he wouldn't get away with it that easily. Leo marched after him, holding the door to the room that used to be Max's bedroom but was used by him now usually to brood over papers and contracts, open.

"Why don't you look at me anymore? What happened? Max...!"

"Leo! Please..." Max had his eyes closed and even so he swore it wasn't the case, he sounded very angry right now. So, he simply pushed him out of the way once more and moved into the office again.

"You promised not to do this," Leo shouted as a last resort, finally causing Max to stop. He heard him sigh.

"You promised to let me know what's going on," Leo continued, trying hard to fight the tears back that he felt coming in his despair. "You said you'd never again stop talking to me again, God damn it! So, when did this change?"

Max didn't react but looked down to the ground, steadying himself on the leather couch with both arms and shaking his head slightly.

"Please," Leo repeated, now not being able to hold back. "Please, don't let Roger be right."

A shiver ran down his spine when Max started to laugh slightly.

"Roger's been right?" he looked up at Leo. "Oh, open your eyes, Leo. Roger's been right the whole damn time."

"What do you mean?" the younger man's voice wasn't as strong as it had been seconds ago now.

"Why do you think I agreed working for Pembroke in the first place?"

"To solve our..."

"Money, Leo," Max's eyes met Leo's. "It's all about the profit. It always has been. It's all I had in mind and all I needed. So, yes. Roger's been right."

"But...you said..."

"Oh come on, how long do you know me now?" Max continued. "I say a million things every single day but how many of them are meant that way? Just think about it."

Leo stood in the middle of the room petrified. He didn't know how to respond. And even if he knew, he had not the slightest clue about what he wanted to say anymore.

"It's getting far too dangerous now," Max said. "All this trouble. All these fights. It's not worth it."

Leo nodded and approached his partner daringly. It might have been the only chance he got.

"I agree," he said, touching Max's face and coming closer until there foreheads touched. "I completely agree. So, we shouldn't make this even harder, don't you think?"

But all of a sudden, Max pushed Leo's arms away stepping back a few inches, looking even angrier.

"DON'T TOUCH ME," he yelled. "Don't ever touch me again, okay?"

Leo was shocked. Never before had he seen him that confused, that angry and that desperate at the same time. And never before had Max shown any sign of aggressiveness towards him.

"I totally agree, just so we're talking eye to eye," he kept on yelling, looking at Leo once more. "We shouldn't make this harder. So, you wanna know what's going on? Fine. I'll tell you..."

Leo's breath became faster and his eyes widened. A foreshadowing knowledge of what was about to happen kept telling him not to listen.

"Don't say it," he managed to whisper, but it came too late.

"I want you to leave," Max said, not breaking that constant stare. His eyes burned. It took Leo a moment to even digest the words he'd just heard.

"What?" he breathed in shock.

"I want you to leave," Max repeated much quieter, now looking to the ground again.

"No!...Max," Leo whispered wide-eyed. He felt his body start to shiver again.

"I told you before Roger was right," Max continued. His voice grew louder with every word. "I told you why I worked with Pembroke, so do you really need an explanation for this?"

Leo tried to meet Max's eyes again, but it just didn't work. He couldn't believe it. No, he couldn't possibly mean that! This must be a joke. Or a nightmare. Either way, it wasn't at all funny.

"You and I, we live together," Leo stumbled over his own words and tried to stay calm, instinctively reaching for his blanket in his pocket.

"There is no 'you and I' anymore," Max answered, looking up as if a stranger stood in front of him. "For Heaven's sake, use your head for once Leo. You're not stupid! It was a nice little pastime. Something you agree to for fun. You said it yourself, we never knew how much time we got. And it's getting too hot now. He could find out any second and I don't wanna end up beaten up in the streets, being called a 'disgusting queer' because someone got the wrong impression. I don't wanna surround myself with fairies who tell me I'm responsible for their rotten lives every time they screw up."

Leo slowly started to shake his head in disbelief, as tears were running down his face.

"What are you talking about?" he sobbed. "What happened to you? That's not the you I know..."

"How much of me did you ever really know? You have not the slightest idea of the things I did in the past," Max shouted once more, causing Leo to back away; closer to the door. "I manipulate people. I did it all my life. I did it with you too."

"You said, you loved me..."

"I told a million people exactly the same but never meant it," Max screamed, coming closer with every word. "Do you know how I got you as a little toy? Oh, it was easy. All I had to do is convincing Ulla she was better off without you. Bringing her together with that dancer was a cinch. And letting you find out wasn't exactly a hard thing either; with you believing everything I told you anyway. BUT I NEVER MEANT IT! HAVE YOU GOT THIS NOW? IT'S IS OVER! SO GET YOUR ASS OUTTA HERE, LEOPOLD BLOOM, BEFORE I FORGET MYSELF!"

He was so frighteningly close now, that all Leo could do was escaping through the front door in fear. When the door flung shut noisily, it burst out of him too.

As if out of his mind the younger man yelled back, knowing very well Max could still hear him through the door:

"I WANTED TO KISS HER, JUST SO YOU KNOW!"

But seconds later, his eyes widened in shock and his wet face turned white. He stood there, facing the closed door of the office he had called his home for a very long time now. This was it. They'd just broke up. Max's words still echoed through his ears like thunder and he felt his heart thumping hard against his chest.

And suddenly his breath became so fast, he almost hyperventilated. Tears were streaming down his face uncontrollably now and a pain stronger than anything he'd ever known before shot through his entire body, making him feel like burning inside.

Leo jumped to the door again, hammering on it with his fist until it started to bleed.

"Max! I'm sorry," he cried without being aware of what he was doing. "Please! I didn't mean a word! You...You can't do this! Max! Please!"

As his crying got stronger, he slowly realized that there was nothing he could do.

Sobbing heavily, he sank to his knees; his face still pressed to the office door.

"Please," he whispered desperately, crying like a child. "You cannot do this! I love you!"

But there was no answer. Nothing.

He didn't know Max heard every single word. And he didn't know that he wasn't the only one crying.

The older man sat on the floor of the office-entrance, pressing his back against the door and holding his ears shut with both his hands, while having his eyes closed.

"I know," he whispered as an answer but more to himself, watching his own tears dripping down his chin to the ground.

And pressing his head on the door slowly, he added:

"Please, forgive me!"

~To be continued~


	9. The investigations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Once more, sorry for the delay. I'm trying to be quicker the next time. I needed some time to develop the different scenes.
> 
> Anyway, hope you like it. The circle is gettin' tighter ;)

„He quit?"

"Yeah, they say he won't come back and quit this morning. Why I don't know."

Diane looked at her fellow actors in a surprised way. They stood around backstage and as usual gossiped about anything they heard about. Normally, she only caught one or two sentences and then decided not to listen anymore. She never gave much about gossip and even back in the Diner she'd tried to convince her colleagues not to tell her all that stuff. She just wasn't interested in whatever people made up. And made up most of it usually turned out to be.

But the news of young Mr. Bloom leaving the production spread so quickly among actors, technicians and everyone else in the theater, she was bound to hear it somehow. Most of the people didn't care much about a producer who left, but this time it was different. First of all, because Leo had spend a lot of time with the people on and off stage and they liked him. He hadn't been one of those only sitting behind his desk, judging whatever was going on on stage and then silently agreeing or denying things. No, he had put much effort into acting like a normal human in front of everyone even though he always had been a little inaccessible. So the sudden lack of him was noticed faster than expected. Secondly, no one seemed to know any reason. And this was weird.

Diane felt shocked. Why would he quit just like that? She kept on thinking about what had happened. Maybe it was her fault.

She had planned to apologize to him properly, but now it seemed she wasn't gonna get the chance to. And she instantly hoped it had nothing to do with her. She had blamed herself so much ever since and worried about Leo. If only she could set things right.

"What's gotten into me anyway," ran through her head every other minute, over and over again. He was with someone and she knew from the beginning. That kiss wasn't intended. Or planned.

But why did it feel that good?

Diane looked around once more. She needed to set thing right with Leo. Even if he never wanted to talk to her again. She didn't want to come between him and his girl. Or him and his life.

But how to reach him? She didn't know where exactly he lived.

It was easy though to find out where the office of 'Bialystock&Bloom' was. They were quite famous after all.

And suddenly, she looked up and started to smile.

"I am such an idiot. Max!," she told herself. After all, she wanted to talk to him at the next opportunity anyway. "All I gotta do is ask Max. It's as easy as that. He will know."

Unfortunately, she couldn't find him either. How strange. Had he gone too? No, people would've known. It would have spread as quickly as Leo's disappearance for sure. Both of them would have been just too strange of people not talking about it.

"I heard he's having an appointment somewhere today," the assistant director told her when she asked him after rehearsals.

"Oh, too bad," she replied. "But then I will try another day."

She thanked him and then turned to leave the theater. How disappointing. She had somehow expected this differently.

But then, she shrugged. What was the big deal? She would try tomorrow again. And if it didn't work, she would surely find out where to find him easily. It just couldn't be that hard, now that she knew his name and all.

Diane stopped and looked up in the sky for a moment. Gray heavy clouds hung over the city and a lot of the skyscrapers couldn't even be seen anymore. A strong wind blowing through the narrow streets didn't help them go away. On the contrary, it seemed as though the wind only wanted to darken the sky even more, bringing in almost black rain-clouds.

"It appears the sky is weeping too," she thought and had the shocked look of Leo in front of her again. He hadn't been able to believe it. And he had been scared. And surprised. She had seen it. He hadn't even reacted to her properly. Or he didn't want to. She wasn't able to tell.

But she knew she would have been in panic as well, being 'attacked' like that and having the best friend walking in on her. And she wanted so much to apologize for that. No matter, how she was going to do it.

….

The sun shone through the large glass-stained windows already when Roger shot a worried look at Carmen, who closed the door to the kitchen as if it was made of glass which was about to burst at the slightest touch; always careful not to make a sound.

"How is he?" Roger asked quietly.

Carmen turned to look at him and shook his head.

"He's asleep now," he answered and almost tip-toed over to his partner to sit down beside him, bending forward and putting his chin on his crossed hands.

"This is hard," he heard Roger say next to him.

"Hm," Carmen responded without looking up.

He was lost in his thoughts. He'd never intended this. It had been stupid of him to believe this was for Leo's best and he felt more guilty than ever before in his life.

Still, the thought of his young friend being safe now crossed his mind now and then. Leo probably was better off now for sure. He was safe. But he couldn't shake the million things he felt, finding him in front of their house; sitting in the pouring rain with his head on his knees and almost not approachable. He hadn't rang the bell or knocked or even made himself noticed in any way. He simply sat there. Wet to the bones. Not responding to anything. Everyone in the Debris-household had been thunderstruck.

Kevin had found him when he came home...

Never before had any of them been so quickly to their feet but no matter what they tried, Leo just wouldn't move. Roger and the others had been talking to him without a noticeable break. And when the fear of something might have happened to him had grown stronger Carmen had slowly approached him, putting his hand on the young man's head as he had done so many times before. It was then Leo slightly turned his head and looked at him through red swollen eyes, which were evidence enough he had been crying. A lot. Something had happened.

"Hey sweetie. What are you doing here?" Carmen had asked him softly with a voice only Leo was able to hear properly, smiling as though talking to a child.

The others hadn't dared to say a word. They had been standing around Carmen, who knelt next to Leo and just let the rain crackle down on them.

Carmen on the other hand had been as patient as a mother, stroking Leo's back gently and trying to convince him to react in any way even though the rain was running down his face like a waterfall.

"What do you think?" he'd been asking Leo. "Should we get inside? You could take a bath and warm up a little."

And when Leo had raised his head, all of them took a deep breath. It had been more than obvious something wasn't right, but he simply looked atrocious. Pale and worn out, with swollen eyes and his brown hair which usually hang in casual strands over his face -just enough to give the impression he wanted to cover his eyes but never really did- now clutched the shape of his facial features like tar oil.

Carmen had immediately been reminded of a fairy tale his Nanny used to tell him when he was a child. An ancient German one, if he recalled correctly, in which a bad person had been showered with tar just to repay his misdeeds.

And almost instinctively, he'd softly wiped Leo's hair out of his face with two fingers without losing eye-contact. He'd done this mainly because he couldn't just leave him like that and because an subliminal voice told him Leo wasn't like that. There were no misdeeds. Nothing. He didn't deserve, well...whatever kind of punishment this had been.

But as soon as he had been able see the supposedly young face of his friend properly, Leo almost rushed forwards and flung his arms around Carmen's neck, starting to cry frantically.

Carmen had been sinking to his knees and his body had tilted back from their combined weight. He'd seen Roger and the others ready to jump towards them for help from the corner of his eyes. But he quickly had risen his hand to stop them, shaking his head slowly while fixating Roger without moving his head. Turning back to Leo he'd just embraced him as well, slowly patting his head.

Still, no one had said anything. It had been almost as though Leo and Carmen experienced some kind of mutual understanding that moment; almost as if they'd talked to each other without anyone else being able to hear it.

"He dumped me," Leo had whispered almost not audible and with his face pressed tightly onto Carmen's chest. It had not taken more than a second for Carmen to hug the younger man even tighter back, closing his eyes and being confronted with an hitherto unknown pain of compassion running through him.

"Is it true?" he heard Leo's hoarse voice once more and let go of him to find his eyes once more.

"He...said...He said he played off Ulla against me," Leo sobbed. "To enforce our break-up... Is it true?"

Carmen's eyes widened in shock. Max did tell him that? How was that possible? He never wanted him to know.

"I-I have no idea," Carmen answered hesitantly. He couldn't tell him. Leo had obviously fled to them subconsciously and even though he somehow hadn't dared to ask for help he was there. In front of their house. And he had still seemed to be in a state of shock after what had happened to him. So, how had Carmen been supposed to admit he knew?

"Come with me inside," he'd said to the younger man and stroked across his cheeks once.

…

For once it was silent in the living room of the Upper East Side Town house. The 'tic toc' of the huge grandfather clock which stood in one corner surrounded by flowers of all kinds, colors and shapes, echoed through the light rooms and for Carmen it sounded as loud as thunder. Even the silent breaths of Kevin, Scott, Brian and Shirley, who sat some feet away from them was disturbing right now. Let alone Roger's stare.

Carmen's thoughts were flying. He didn't know what to think. And he hadn't been able to get any more information out of Leo than what he'd unwillingly told him outside. He'd shared that with Roger and the others of course. But none of them knew any more details. So, Leo's attempt to talk to Max must have escalated horribly.

"I knew it," Roger said all of a sudden but as Carmen turned his head, he noticed in surprise he was nearly as much lost in thoughts as he was.

"You knew what?" Carmen asked silently.

Roger sighed and got up, slowly starting to walk up and down again.

"I knew something like that was bound to happen," he repeated. "He was only playing with him. Abusing him. It was foolish to think he'd changed."

Carmen watched him without saying a word, as well as the others. He couldn't really believe what he was seeing. Roger was angry. Nothing unusual, but Carmen noticed that little spark of what he really had been thinking in an instance. Roger quit the friendship with Max. A friendship that went back quite some years before even Roger and Carmen had met. And Roger hadn't gotten tired of letting everyone know how disgusted he'd felt about what Max had done in the past few weeks. But now, Carmen was able to see through it.

Roger was hurt a lot. He probably even regretted whatever he had been telling Max back that day. After all, he'd never been the kind of person to abandon a friend just like that. Once the older man took someone into his heart, there was no chance he simply stopped caring. And giving up a friendship that lasted that long sure was harder than he would ever admit.

Obviously, he still had hoped to be proven wrong; believed in the miracle of Max changing his course and becoming the one he knew again. But seeing Leo sitting in the rain without being able to say anything out of despair had clearly been a shock to Roger as well. It had been almost as though something within him had died that very moment.

"I never believed he would be able to do anything like that," Carmen said silently, still looking at Roger, who met his gaze. "I thought he'd changed. At least concerning Leo."

But Roger shook his head. "Let's face it. He only showed a tiny bit of honesty when he hadn't been himself. This! This is exactly how he has always been. And the very reason why he had no one before. I just never... I mean, it's Leo we're talking about! How can he do that?"

Carmen didn't react. He just couldn't stop thinking about what Leo had said. It made absolutely no sense. If Max really told him, Roger was right indeed. He had been playing with him.

And even though Carmen detested that 'friend' of Roger's for a long time, he'd also never believed Max would be able to do something like that. Not after witnessing how much he did for Leo, even if it was unintentional. After all he never lived with someone. Especially not for that long.

"Well, I am glad Leo's gotten away now," Roger's words ripped him out of this bubble of circling questions.

"Yeah," Carmen dryly answered. "Will you excuse me?"

Thus, he got up and moved out of the room with all his roommates following him with their eyes.

"How come he cares so much?" Scott asked.

"Carmen and Leo always got along just fine, idiot. It's nothing new," Shirley answered from behind him.

"No, I mean," Scott continued. "I mean Roger."

"What are you talking about?" Roger whirled around, having overheard it of course.

"You're holding back right now," Kevin jumped into the conversation. "It's just like when you've found Carmen on the stairs outside. You were about to break somebody's bones then."

"It was something completely different," Roger snorted.

"No, it wasn't," Brian said now.

"You too?" Roger now smiled but it was a desperate smile. He hated it when they all saw through him.

They started to giggle slightly.

"You can't hide it, dear," Kevin said. "You're telling everything one needs to know without noticing."

Roger closed his eyes and laughed out loud. This was unbelievable.

"You hear that, Darling? It's not just you anymore," he stated. But only seconds later he looked up in surprise, missing the usual respond from Carmen.

Quickly, he looked around.

"Darling?"

And only seconds later Roger ran out into the corridor, but Carmen was nowhere to be found. He was always close and therefore bound to have heard him in any way. He tried to relax. Maybe he went to look after Leo. Where else could he be after all. He surely would have answered him being in any other room.

That explanation calmed him down quickly. He sighed and moved towards the stairs. He'd simply look after Carmen and therefore after Leo as well. He'd never known how much maternal his partner could be but it impressed him deeply. It was almost touching. And yet another proof of having made the right decision by dedicating everything he had to Carmen. He was just worth it.

Walking past the front door he stopped suddenly. His jaw almost dropped when he found his partners coat was missing.

"No," he whispered wide-eyed. "Carmen!"

And as fast as he could he opened the front door, staring down the shimmering street which the rain still turned into a mirror of the city, blurring the few lights that could still be seen into colorful bubbles which reflected widely.

"No," he repeated once more. "He couldn't have gone outside...Not alone!"

….

Max started up. The noise of the city woke him up, but he only realized now.

Sleepily he rubbed his face. It still felt numb as did his whole body. He looked at the clock standing on the desk. Only five minutes. He had barely slept that long ever since Leo left. Not that he wanted to stay awake but he felt tired and worn out and everything seemed to hurt. He had been so used to the city outside, it was quite funny it happened to keep him awake now.

Wearily, he got up from the leather couch and moved towards the desk; only to stop shortly after it again, staring at one of the accounting books which still teasingly rested there. It lay open and Leo's careful, almost feminine handwriting was clearly to see.

And once more the memories returned. Max felt himself starting to shake again and closed his eyes, resting his head in his hands.

He still only understood little pieces properly of what he had done and each time his memories reminded him of what he had lost, it got only worse.

It was true he had grown to ignore the city-noise, but only because he got long but used to the steps of Leo in the apartment; his laughter, even the way he sleepily waved a 'good morning' each day or his long even breaths at night. And the silence he left was unbearable. Almost like a sling that tied up every minute a little more. It felt like choking without ever reaching an end.

Max sank down on the desk chair, incapable of dealing with his own emotions anymore. He felt his eyes filling with tears again. Everything around him was Leo. Every single thing reminded him. He had been certain to get over this quickly, but it just didn't happen and he hadn't felt that miserable ever before.

"This has got to end," he thought. It hurt. In a way nothing before ever did. And obviously he could not simply move on. He had to face it. He was alone. Again.

And he tried hard not to think about him having been the one who decided this. But then again, there had been a good reason.

He lifted his head a little and looked out of the window from where he sat. Only a very small part of the sky was visible between the huge buildings and it was hard to make out for the sky disguised itself in a dark gray and blended the facades of the rainy city perfectly.

He'd taken the day off. He told some lie about having an appointment somewhere in the city. Usually he wouldn't have done it, but he couldn't face the world. The pure thought of seeing Pembroke or anyone else today made him want to jump right off his own balcony.

That bastard. None of this would have happened, if it hadn't been for him.

Max sighed. He didn't know how to go on. Or what to do now. All he knew was, he'd lost the only thing that had been turning the world into a bearable place for him. And that was knowing Leo was there. Always.

"I am an idiot," Max thought, simply staring into space. "I should have known it wasn't gonna be as easy as I imagined. Face it, you old fool. You've grown weak."

But there was nothing for it. He had to face it. He'd lost everything. His friends, his partner and he was about to lose his job as well. And worst of all none of it mattered anymore.

A knock on the door suddenly disturbed that god damn silence.

Lazily, Max turned his head but didn't even think about getting up. He didn't want to see anyone. Whoever this was, he didn't care.

A second knock.

"Knock til you break your wrists," he thought. "It won't change anything."

"Max?" he heard a silent voice and finally lifted his head, but more in surprise.

"Max, please," the voice said once more. No, not said. It was more like a whisper. "I know you're in there. Please, open!"

Slowly, Max got up and walked over to the door. He'd recognized that voice and didn't really believe it.

So, he hesitantly opened the door, looking into the face of Carmen who just kept staring back at him. Roger hadn't been downplaying it. He indeed still looked awful. With scratches all over his face and the remaining signs of a black eye. It was hardly conceivable what he must have been through.

"Could I come in for a moment?" Carmen asked almost shyly.

Max thought about it for a second but then opened the door a little more, stepping aside for the younger man to enter; only to close it carefully again right after Carmen passed him.

They stood there for a moment without anyone saying anything. Max had his back still turned on the slender man, but knew he was watching him.

"How are you?" he finally asked, after what seemed hours. He turned his head slightly to look at the maltreated face of Roger's partner once more. He tried to sound unimpressed, but noticed in an instance how concerned his voice really sounded. It didn't even matter to him to hide any emotions anymore. They weren't friends. And without Leo around there was no use to keep that mask he used to wear anymore. Or was it? Maybe it was just about time to wear it again.

"I'm much better," Carmen answered calmly. His voice sounded so different. Calm and hoarse and in a way almost normal. There was no sign of the high-pitched sassy Carmen anywhere.

"Listen," Max took a deep breath, turning his face away once more. "I-I am really sorry about what happened to you..."

Carmen, on the other hand, shook his head.

"Don't you worry about it," he replied. "Bad things happen. It's no one's fault."

Max lifted his head again. He surely didn't expect that.

"You look horrible though, if you don't mind me saying that," Carmen continued.

Max shrugged. Of course! Why else would Carmen himself dare to come here! Alone! They never cared for each other in any way. And Max knew Carmen hated him. There could only be one reason why he was standing here.

"I didn't sleep too well," he dryly answered and moved past Carmen back into the office. "What do you want?"

He secretly could have kicked himself for having asked that the very moment and was prepared for all kinds of accusations or questions.

"I...I wanted to thank you."

Max stopped almost petrified in front of the huge windows, not daring to move a bit. He simply stared outside, trying hard not to show any surprise.

"Leo's with us," Carmen continued silently.

"He is?" Although his voice sounded just as cold as he intended, Max's insides gave a jolt. It felt as though someone had just kicked him with his whole weight hearing Leo's name from someone else and he fought against those damn tears again. But he just couldn't let anything show. It would ruin everything.

Carmen nodded without a word.

"He...He doesn't understand," he responded to Max's silence.

"So, what's there not to understand?" Max asked, only staring straight ahead. "I don't care if he does. Or where he is. I don't want to talk about him. So, please spare me all this bad conscience bullshit, for heaven's sake!"

"Everyone is furious," Carmen interrupted him quickly and sounded unimpressed. "And to be quite frank, I didn't understand at first too. Although, I won't lie to you, I was relieved somehow. Until now. I think I got it and that's why I am here. To thank you!"

Max still didn't move. He swallowed hard and fought more than ever not to let any emotion show.

"What?" he asked much more silent now, closing his eyes.

"You indeed did that on purpose. Just for other reasons than I expected at first," Carmen explained, crossing his arms and not letting Max out of his sight. "You wanted him to be safe. And out of Pembroke's sight. And you knew Leo would never leave on his own or even hide. So, you had to reach for the last resort you could think of and told him the one thing you never wanted anyone to know. That you had been the one responsible for Ulla having left him. You had to make him hate you. But I suppose that didn't work out in the end and so, you had to kick him out."

There still was no sign of Max moving or even listening. He simply stared out of the window with his arms crossed, not visibly paying attention to Carmen at all.

"When he told me I understood," Carmen continued. "I never thought you'd surprise me. Ever! But with everyone thinking you're the selfish one anyway, it suited you perfectly. And I really believe all you did was for Leo's own good. Even if it meant you were the one suffering from it, as you obviously are."

Carmen watched him again, but noticed there was no reaction going to follow. He sighed and let his hands fall, shaking his head. What did he expect anyway? Max admitting anything? He almost laughed about this thought now. So, he slowly turned and moved towards the door to leave again.

"He wasn't safe with me!"

Carmen turned in surprise. Max stood there exactly the same way but obviously chose to answer for once, even though it wasn't more than a whisper at first.

"I tried to tell him to stay low... Pembroke knew. He knew! It was only a matter of time until he'd have counted one and one together and Leo would have been first in line I'm sure," he said and for once turned to look at Carmen who almost backed away in shock, seeing tears running down Max's face now.

"Don't you see? I had no other choice," his voice grew louder in desperation. "He'd never understood. And he probably never will. But I had to do something to keep him away from all this. Even if I quit that contract, I'd probably go to jail and he'd be left here with everyone knowing... He'd be like a lamb in the slaughter... So, what do you think I could have done instead? There was no other way."

Carmen remained where he was thunderstruck. He was shocked. Not because Max now almost yelled, no. More out of the fact that he never dreamed of that guy giving him so much as a straight answer, let alone an emotional outburst like the one happening right now. And for once, he felt sorry for Max.

"Max...I," he started, but Max turned away again, shaking his head.

"Make sure he is safe," his voice was so raspy now, he almost whispered and didn't sound like Max at all.

Carmen nodded shortly. He understood perfectly. This was not meant for everyone. Probably not even for him but still Max did that one step and dared to tell him, even if it wasn't intended.

So, all he could do now was leaving as Max didn't seem to want to spend any more time talking to him. And who could blame him? Carmen could hardly imagine how that must feel.

He closed the door silently behind him and exhaled long before glancing at the office door once more. He understood. And that situation made him feel strange. As if the fact he had stolen away in silence to thank the person he mistrusted for ages wasn't enough. No. He really did have a conversation with Max and he actually told him something honestly. It almost felt like for the first time having talked to the 'real' Max. The one Roger had been talking about before he'd stopped believing his own words. The one Leo had described to him all those years.

"Seems for once Roger's been wrong," he thought, shaking his head. He'd never doubted his partner. And he couldn't really believe he thought that, but yet he did. "There was absolutely nothing selfish about his actions this time. Who would have thought that?"

….

The days drifted by slowly and felt like not moving on at all. It took Leo all his effort to even get up in the mornings, let alone joining anyone in conversation. Sure, he was grateful for Roger and Carmen to let him stay. As long as he wanted even. But it seemed he'd lost all motivations in even being awake. It felt so strange, so bizarre even to wake up every day in a house that felt uncomfortable familiar all around. He'd been here too many times to not being used to it, but yet each time the knowledge of not being able to leave and go home stroke him like mad.

Leo didn't spend much time thinking about what he'd lost though. Most of the time he didn't even know what to think at all and his head ached all day long anyway. He felt as though being loaded with baggage he did nothing to earn and almost breaking apart underneath it. And his mind was a black hole. Empty and without any sound and hungrily swallowing every little thought about what had been or will be as soon as it dared to sneak into his head again.

Mostly, Leo simply sat inside 'his' room on the windowsill, leaned to the frame and stared into the depths of the city for hours. He'd reply to anyone talking to him, but he said only as much as he had to and avoided eye-contact whenever possible.

Roger and Carmen noticed of course.

"He's afraid," Roger said one morning, taking a sip of tea from the cup in his hand and letting his eyes wander up the stairs every now and then. "Afraid of getting hurt again. That's why he never looks at anyone anymore."

"Well, can you blame him?" Carmen replied, shrugging slightly. "With all that he's been through?"

He had told Roger neither about his conversation with Max, nor that he even had been there to see him and had made up some story about just having had to walk a little to get his head clear.

He didn't really know why, but the fact he disagreed in this one point with his partner now confused him deeply. He had been so certain Max was exactly the guy he had always been. He'd painted that picture and finished it a long time ago. Yet, everything was breaking apart now. What if Leo had been right all that time too? What if Max had really always been someone else secretly and just chose to not show it to Carmen and a lot of other people? What if he really just was who he was in front of Leo? It would explain so much.

One thing was clear though. Roger was wrong. Max didn't get rid of Leo because he only thought of himself and his advantage. He was scared to death something might happen to the younger man because... Well, because of what he had done maybe? Or because they had indeed taken a step too far? Or maybe because Leo was and had always been the only thing Max really cared about?

Carmen rubbed his head. This was exasperating. Maybe he had been wrong for years then. Maybe everything Max and Leo did in the past had a reason like that too. It would explain why Leo always saw so much more in Max than anybody else.

"Are you alright?" he heard Roger's voice next to him and looked up. "You seem stressed lately."

"I'm fine," Carmen quickly replied. "It just seems so unfair."

"What do you mean?" Roger sat down next to the younger man, looking concerned.

"We're playing with him," Carmen responded, sighing deeply. "All the time. It's not fair. Leo's not a toy."

"What do you mean? Playing?"

Carmen nodded and looked up to the ceiling to avoid Roger's eyes.

"Think about it," he said. "First there was Max, playing all kind of tricks to get him away from Ulla for reasons only you and I knew. Then, when he didn't remember anything or anyone, we talked Leo into reconsidering their relationship until they finally ended up together. And now, we've destroyed it in the very same way. Without Leo having the slightest clue how much of it was planned. It's not fair. It's as though we're puppeteering him all the time. All of us."

"Carmen," Roger softly put his hand on his partner's shoulder. "It may appear that way, but we've never talked him into something. Everything we've said were merely suggestions. He decided for himself. Each time!"

Carmen turned his head and looked at him now. Then, he slowly nodded.

"I guess you are right," he said and turned his eyes down to the ground. "I just...I'm feeling guilty somehow."

"You don't have to," Roger put his hand on Carmen's shoulder comforting. "I think Leo knows exactly what he is doing. He may appear a little side-tracked right now, but he decided everything on his own."

Again, Carmen nodded and then got up slowly.

"I'm gonna talk to him," he said silently and left the room quickly.

….

Diane was getting more and more distressed. She imagined it easier to find out anything about Leo's whereabouts, but nothing seemed to work. She asked people of course, but no one seemed to know the slightest bit about him. Probably, because Leo hadn't been the talkative kind of guy.

But it drove her nuts. Leo must have had anyone. Any friends. Sure, she'd gotten to know Carmen a little that one morning, but unfortunately, there was no way she would find out about him. He'd told her himself, Carmen wasn't his real name and even if he used it, she had no idea about his last name. Or where he lived. Or even how to reach him.

"Damn it! If only you've told me a little more," she thought from time to time. All she wanted was to apologize.

Of course, there was always Max. But many reasons spoke against him giving her any answers. First of all, she somehow didn't dare yet to speak to him. She couldn't explain herself why this man appeared to be so intimidating to her. He appeared to be even grumpier lately and worst of all, he never gave any explanation to anyone why Leo disappeared all of a sudden. Secondly, he was hard to grip. The days when he'd spent his whole time in the theater were over and he usually disappeared rather quickly without speaking to anyone. If she thought about it, he really didn't talk to anyone anymore. Well, except for Pembroke.

She'd overheard a conversation of them once.

"So, Mr. Bloom chose not to work with you anymore?" the old guy had asked.

"Yes, so it would seem," Max dryly had answered without really looking at his backer. "His decision. I can't tell you any more about his motivations."

"So, where is he now?"

"I have no idea!"

"Well," Pembroke had responded. "It might be better anyway. Having his kind around is what spoils decent people."

Diane had moved away quickly for she never intended to listen to them. But that suggestion left her wondering, if she was honest to herself.

His kind? That sounded not good at all.

She'd heard so much about Pembroke lately and knew he was more or less the very definition of intolerant. He literally hated everything that fell out of his 1920ish picture of the world. But she couldn't imagine what he meant.

Rumors spread around the theater as well. Many of them. And Diane couldn't really ignore them, even though people made up all kind of stuff as well.

But they also said, the usual 'production team' working with Max and Leo had been let go before. So, maybe that's why no one knew anything. Diane, of course, had asked why they suddenly had fired all of the people they used to work with. Strangely enough, it seemed Carmen and Roger had been among them as well.

"It wasn't them as far as I know," one of the actors told her.

"Who was it then?" Diane couldn't imagine someone else but the producers were able to do this.

Her colleague only shrugged though.

"Pressure has it," he'd answered. "When important people have something against them fairies, they will have to do what's best as well."

It was bewitched. Every time she thought she'd gotten a little information, it only led to many more questions.

When she left the theater that afternoon, she stopped shortly, just breathing the warm summer air outside. She knew what she had to do, even though she felt scared.

A noise next to her made her almost jump. She turned quickly and almost jumped in surprise behind the fire escape outside and ducked away. It was Max. He was leaving soon this day. So, maybe this was her chance. Maybe even the only one she'd get. If it was possible to catch him alone somehow, she might be able to ask him, what she wanted to know.

But why did she hesitate then? Somewhere deep inside she felt it won't be for her advantage to let anyone see them together. But she knew, she had to do this. Now!

Slowly she got up again, careful not to make any sounds, but much to her surprise Max wasn't there anymore.

"Damn it!" she thought and immediately ran down the street. She could kick herself for not paying attention. This was important after all and she'd let herself being distracted by her own worries.

Desperately, she turned her head to the left and to the right. He couldn't be too far. But it was hard to make out one person in the crowds passing her. Within seconds she scanned every face she was able to look at that moment.

There! Diane almost cheered when she finally found Max in the crowd, really not too far away. She was able to follow him without anyone noticing, just blending in and for a moment couldn't believe her luck.

So, quickly she went after him, always careful not to let him see; hiding behind a group of tourists if possible.

Her way led her all over Broadway, mostly straight ahead, so she was able to walk normally and don't attract anyone's attention. Only now and then Max would turn somewhere and she had to hurry a little. This was strange. She felt almost like a criminal, following him after a while. Where was he heading to anyway? And why the hell didn't he take a cab but walk?

She turned only once to see if they'd been far enough from people might noticing them and wondered whether she could dare to simply stop him. She was being close enough after all. One call of his name and she'd get her chance.

But then, when she turned back, her eyes widened a little and she felt her heart beat becoming faster. He was gone.

"No!" she whispered to herself, desperately looking around and getting more hectic. How could she have missed him. This couldn't be true. Diane started to ran a few inches but stopped rather quickly again, facing the fact she had no clue where to search.

And that realization made her heart feel heavy once more. She gently leaned against a nearby wall, letting her head fall. How could she have been so careless? An opportunity like that would hardly come again and she could kick herself for letting her thoughts wander that easily.

"Oh God damnit!" she said angrily to herself and punched the wall with her fist once. "How could you be that stupid?"

She sighed and leaned back to the wall, rummaging in the pockets of her jacket and pulling out a small piece of paper. So, maybe this was her only choice now, although she'd avoided it until now.

"I need to talk to him, if I really want to find out anything," she thought, staring at that little piece of paper in her hands. It said 'Bialystock&Bloom' followed by a sloppily written address, she'd gotten from another actor, who worked with them in another production before and remembered it from earlier auditions.

"Maybe I can be there first," she murmured.

"Or maybe," a voice next to her continued her thoughts, causing her to whirl around. "You could just forget about that and tell me what this is about."

Max, also leaning to the wall, stood some feet away from her. He had his arms crossed and didn't look too pleased. Diane swallowed hard and immediately held her breath. She didn't even notice he was there. Or did he turn and come back? She noticed how that knot in her stomach tightened once more.

"I...erm...," she stuttered. But Max only shook his head, slowly let his arms fall and stepped closer.

"Why are you following me?" he asked and even though his voice was calm, he intimidated more than ever.

"How long have you been standing there?" Diane asked in return, trying to calm down.

"Longer than you'd like," Max replied, now standing in front of her. "Will you please be so kind as to tell me why you're stalking me?"

"I'm not..."

"Oh, don't play dumb," he said, interrupting her quickly. "You've been following me for a week, asking everyone in the theater and as far as I see it you've found out how to bother me even after rehearsals."

He pointed at the little note in her hands.

"I...er...I wanted to...," she started. But then she stopped for a second, taking a deep breath. She might as well could tell him now. "I wanted to ask you something."

Max didn't respond any more but kept staring at her, raising one eyebrow.

"Do you know what happened?" she started, now looking into his eyes again. "I heard Leo quit and..."

But Max shook his head as soon as he heard Leo's name, stopping her in an instance.

"No," he turned. "No! I don't talk about Leo, so don't ask. And please don't bother me again."

Max was about to leaver her. Diane hesitated for a moment, but then screamed after him.

"Please," she yelled. "Please! You are his best friend! He told me! You must know!"

Much to her surprise Max indeed stopped and turned around slowly again. He had his eyes closed now and shook his head.

"I can't help you," he said.

"Please!" she repeated desperately. "He said you are friends! He said you're not as moody as you appear. He even said you're very nice once people get to know you! And...and if Leo has such a high opinion of you, you cannot tell me you have no idea where he is. Or what happened! Please, all I want is to apologize!"

"Apologize?" Max asked and sounded almost insecure now, giving her a look that almost made her cry. She never experienced this guy looking as sad as he just did. No, not sad. Exhausted. Done and tired.

Diane nodded. "For...for everything. I guess I caused quite a lot that confused him and mixed up a greater part of his life than I am able to understand and I am so sorry about that. I never intended to push him to the edge... I... Listen, are you alright?"

"Never mind me," Max answered, noticing her worried look and turning away slightly.

"You just...look as though...," she stopped and sighed, knowing perfectly well it was no use to ask any more about Max himself. "Anyway! Please! I beg you. If you know anything, tell me. I promise I won't tell..."

"Why do you ask me?" Max replied, looking up to her again and once more causing Diane to shudder.

"Because... You are the only friend of Leo I know personally," she said calmly. "Apart from Carmen, but I don't know where he lives and I thought..."

"You know Carmen?" Max asked in astonishment.

Again, Diane nodded.

Max thought about it for a moment. Leo must have told her more than he imagined. But obviously he hadn't told her enough.

He looked at her again. She stood there, desperately looking at him with her blonde curls shining in the sun, waiting for an answer. That girl indeed had been sent from heaven above. If she indeed held Leo away from all of this, everything Max did might have been worth it. Leo was safe where he was. He knew Carmen and Roger too good. They'd watch him with eagle's eyes. And if she indeed found a way to win Leo's trust, maybe then this was the only thing Max was able to do.

But when that thought crossed his mind, he immediately shook his head.

The pictures of Leo's looks when he threw him out crossed his mind again. He heard his cries in front of that door again and all of a sudden, all the emotions he had been trying to forget that week came back to him. Just hearing Leo's name again hurt. He didn't want to think about it. About him. And even though he knew he had closed that door forever...even though he was certain Leo would never speak to him again... And even though he was very well aware that he only tried to hide the regrets and the deep emptiness the younger man had left in him when they broke up, he knew that he had to get used to this from now on. And as much as it hurt him to imagine Leo with that girl. Even if he would suffer for the rest of his life, having distributed the only one in his life. No. Having abandoned everything that had been his life. He knew it was the best he could offer to him right now.

So, Max sighed.

"He's at Carmen's," he answered quietly and did not dare to look at her, fearing she might notice all these damn emotions which slowly gained control of him again.

"He is?" she asked, wondering about that sudden answer.

"Yes," Max said, taking the piece of paper out of her hands and quickly writing something on it.

"Here! That's where you'll find him," he said and handed it back to her. "Don't tell anyone. And don't tell them where you got that from!"

Thus, he turned and walked away. He pulled the collar of his coat a little tighter and fought those tears again.

"Damn," he thought, closing his eyes and sped up his steps. Why couldn't he stop feeling miserable about it? He'd split up with people before. He'd seen them walk away. Or they had vanished from one second to another. But Leo just wouldn't let go of him. Maybe it was, because he'd never done anything alike to protect someone. Or maybe, because he wasn't trying hard enough. But no. Max knew why, even though he tried to deny it as good as he could and this time because he wanted to protect himself. He'd never loved anyone as much. And he knew he was never going to be able to live without him, as hard as he tried. This was hell.

Diane looked after him for a while.

"Funny, he seemed to be in pain," she thought. "Why would someone not want to talk about the whereabouts of his best friend?"

She was certain, something wasn't right here.

But when she looked down to the piece of paper, her eyes widened.

An address was written underneath the one that already had been on the paper. Led by two words:

Carmen Ghia!

Still shocked, she looked up again, gazing in the direction Max had left just minutes ago and feeling her eyes filling with tears. Tears of joy. And the feeling of gratitude towards the older man suddenly overwhelmed her.

"Thank you," she whispered and a smallish smile appeared on her face.

….

Leo heard the knocking but chose not to answer. They probably wanted him to feel better, but it meant talking again. He didn't feel bothered by them though. No. He just didn't care. It was a funny feeling really, how people he cared about suddenly became unimportant as did everything else around him. Even though he knew they meant well, it was kind of hard for him to have people around at the moment, which of course was also very strange, since he himself somehow found his way to them. He didn't even know why he came here in the first place. Maybe Carmen and Roger were the closest to a family he thought of that moment.

But still, he didn't know what to say to them. And even though they didn't ask any questions until now, he knew they wanted to.

He heard the doorknob turning slowly and only seconds later, Carmen slowly stepped into the room. Leo remained on the window sill with his arms flung around his legs and didn't even bother to turn his head. His head was resting on the windowpane and he watched how his breath turned the world outside blurry every two seconds, while the air around him would make it vanish each time again.

"Hey," Carmen said softly, stepping closer and when he finally reached Leo, he sat down on the sill next to him. "How are you?"

"Fine," Leo answered muffled by pressing his face closer to his legs, but kept staring outside.

Carmen watched him for a moment. Then he sighed.

"Listen, I know how hard this is for you," he started softly. "But we have to find a way to cheer you up somehow."

And for once, Leo looked at him. At least a little success.

"Please, try to understand," Carmen continued, looking worried. "This is not healthy."

"Carmen," Leo interrupted him, lifting his head. And much to Carmen's surprise he smiled slightly, although his eyes were as sad as before. "I know you mean well. But I am okay. Believe me."

"Leo..."

"I know I have to go on," he continued, pressing his head to the window again, watching the many people moving outside. "I need a job. I need somewhere to live. Only then, I can try to forget the past years and move on..."

Carmen's eyes widened. He didn't expect Leo to be so calm and rational about his situation. On the contrary, after witnessing him on their stoop, broken and confused, he'd expected something else for sure.

"You know, you could stay here," he said softly. But as he wanted to touch Leo gently, the younger man pulled away as quick as he was able to.

"I knew you would say that," he answered, smiling at his friend again. "But think about it. I can't possibly stay here. This is yours. And you and Roger are used to live like that. With Kevin and Scott and everyone. I don't fit in here. You wouldn't want to nurse me all day long."

"Don't be silly," Carmen answered, still astonished. "We'd be delighted."

"No!" Leo shook his head slightly without losing the smile he wore as the mask Carmen was sure it was. "You're a couple. You certainly don't need me disturbing you. Believe me. I know!"

Carmen's let his head sink and couldn't help but smile as well. Whatever Leo was trying here surely didn't work the way he wanted it to. He was certain, the younger man only acted strong to stop them from worrying about him. And he knew why. Worried friends meant letting them in. And the last thing Leo was after obviously was emotional dependance from anyone. Roger had been right. He was scared of being hurt again. More perhaps, than he noticed himself.

But the very same moment, Carmen was determined not to say anything about that little discovery.

"He asked me to marry him," Carmen changed the subject, looking up at Leo again with the brightest smile he could accomplish.

And indeed, it seemed to work, for Leo sat up straight immediately, looking more surprised than ever.

"He did?" he asked. "That's... wow. Why didn't you tell me? That's awesome. I'm very happy for you."

Carmen watched him closely and didn't answer.

"You did say yes, didn't you?" Leo asked, noticing the stare.

And slowly Carmen nodded.

"Yes," he grinned. "Yes, I did."

Leo smiled again, but the next moment he turned away quickly and Carmen swore he saw tears sparkling in his eyes again.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly.

"What for?" the younger man responded, and within seconds wiped over his face with his sleeve.

"I didn't mean to upset you," Carmen continued slowly.

But Leo only shook his head. "You didn't. I think it's great. And I am sure you made the right decision. You two... you just belong."

"Leo..."

"Please, don't worry," Leo said and folded his arms, giving the impression of being cold more than looking confident. "I know what you think. And you probably know what's in my head. Don't tell me you're not. You always have after all. But...but I really assure you this is fine. I will get over everything, even though it'll probably take me forever."

Carmen didn't dare to say anything. This wasn't the Leo he'd expected. No, he kind of appeared in a whole new light all of a sudden.

"We've had our time. It didn't last as long as we'd hoped though, but still it was the best that has ever happened to me. And both of us, me as well as Max knew we had to be careful with the time that was given to us. Nothing lasts forever. And the last thing I want is making you feel bad, because something incredibly wonderful is happening to you. You should be proud."

Carmen simply remained where he was and stared back at Leo. How could he have missed what he really had become all those years? Again, Roger had been right. They didn't play with him the way he thought. Every decision Leo had made in the past was his own. And he figured, for the first time maybe, Leo was so much stronger than anyone he knew. He probably have noticed every little path they've ever tried to lay for him. It was even possible that he'd been seeing through all of it in the first place, but simply chose to ignore it. Why? Because he was who he was. Because deep underneath these scared habit and neuroses, as little as they might have become, he simply was the nicest guy he'd ever met. And he felt sorry for him all of a sudden. Leo deserved something else.

For a second the thought of telling him just what Max had said to him even crossed his mind.

But just as Carmen wanted to reply anything, a second knock on the door disturbed them.

Roger stepped inside carefully only seconds later.

"Pardon me," he almost shyly said. "Didn't mean to interrupt, but...Carmen there's someone at the door for you."

"For me?" Carmen's face changed to surprised. Who the hell would want to talk to him at the door? He didn't expect anyone for sure and the only friends he would expect to come uninvited were already gathered in this house. He cast another look over at Leo, who looked as uninterested as before again and turned to the windows once more.

Carmen turned and followed Roger outside. When he closed the door from the outside, Roger held him back for a moment.

"Is he alright?" he asked in a worried tone.

Carmen nodded quickly. "I'll tell you later."

Thus, he headed down the stairs to the entrance and even from afar he saw the small silhouette of a woman standing there.

"Diane?"

She turned and immediately smiled at him...

~To be continued~


	10. The reason

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This took long again, I know... I don't know much to say. Read it! Tell me if you hated it or loved it ;) Either way is fine.
> 
> I'm working on the next chapter too, so hopefully you won't have to wait that long again ;)

The heavy weight of guilt came upon him the longer he walked. He couldn't help it. Still, it seemed so surreal; so pathetic in a way and yet it was real. He had to face it. Even if he kept on walking the streets of the city forever and passed thousands of people; maybe even those who knew him and maybe he even spent a little time talking to them and smiling politely, he realized more and more he could not escape the loneliness that kept on creeping up into his life.

He might have been alone for a long time, yes. But it was harder than he'd ever imagined to get used to it once more. And seeing the huge city, which appeared in a strange colorless light all of a sudden didn't help much. Max didn't know what to do. And the contradictory experience of wanting to be alone and yet loathing company whenever he was around people made it even worse.

"This time you really took everything," he thought, looking up to catch a sight of the clouds passing the buildings. Colored in a dark purple they mockingly seemed to laugh at him from the evening sky above. But as much as he tried to distract his mind, it just wouldn't work. He couldn't sleep or eat or even try to forget. This wasn't his life anymore.

And he still didn't know if telling that girl about Leo's whereabouts was the right thing. He'd fled from her literally, but more because he didn't want her to ask any more questions than anybody seeing them, which by all means was highly unlikely.

He had told her about so many things. About Carmen. About himself being his best friend.

"God damn it, Leo!" Max thought, stopping and closing his eyes. "Why didn't you tell me she knew that much?"

Maybe she could've helped him in any way. But then again, the facts remained. He couldn't have been safe around Max. Pembroke had been seeing through this. And even though Leo never was what someone would call obvious, their backer was bound to find out as he obviously spent a lot of time investigating on Leo. So, the less Diane knew the better.

"Even so...," he thought. "I miss you."

Max took a deep breath and opened his eyes again. The blue shades of night slowly covered the streets and the neon lights of the street lamps prepared to light the darkness for everyone slowly. He didn't even notice he'd been walking that long without a destination. Quickly Max pulled his coat a little tighter. It was cold somehow. His body shivered once again and he hated not being able to stop thinking about Leo.

When he looked around for a moment it took him quite some time to realize where he was. He turned once or twice to get his head clear and his orientation back. The long narrow streets still vanished in the dark whiff of nightly sky that seemed to crawl out of the earth.

He turned once more and looked straight to a dark wall of black that appeared as the entrance to a new world in the middle of an otherwise crowded gray city.

"A park?" he thought and turned his head just once more to look at any road signs. And eventually, when his gaze rested upon one of them, he knew where he was. "I'm on 42nd Street... Strange."

So, this must be Bryant Park. A strange place to be after nightfall he had to admit.

"You should think twice before deciding to go in there," a voice next to him said and Max whirled around. He didn't expect someone to talk to him here and he was even more surprised to find Arthur Pembroke slowly approaching him.

"Are you following me?" Max asked quietly, although he'd expected something like this for a longer time now.

"Pure coincidence, let me assure you," the old man chuckled. "I saw you passing by and thought a warning among friends could not hurt, could it?"

Friends? Max almost flinched at that word. It was weird to imagine this guy saw him as his friend, especially since he was responsible for the downfall of everything Max had even though he probably only knew half of it. It didn't matter anyway. He knew Pembroke was lying. He'd expected him to approach him a lot earlier, trying to convince him of...whatever. He didn't like the thought of being out here with Pembroke at all though.

"Warning about what?" he asked, noticing the old man eying him from aside.

"About what's going on in there after nightfall," he nodded in the direction of the park.

"I know," Max answered. It was no big secret Bryant Park was a venue for homosexuals of all kind, especially during the safe veils of nighttime.

"What are you doing here then?" Pembroke asked, turning his icy blue eyes to Max again.

"I just walked past it," Max said. "I wasn't going to go in there."

He nodded to the park as well. It wasn't even a lie. But he was far from telling Pembroke he didn't really know where he was going and just got his orientations back standing here. No one would believe that anyway.

"What are you doing here, if you don't mind me asking?" he asked, noticing that it made absolutely no sense why Pembroke would roam this area of the city.

Pembroke on the other hand started to chuckle.

"Come with me," he said and turned. "I want to show you something."

Max shrugged shortly and then followed the old man. It felt odd, but maybe it would finally switch his thoughts for another two hours. And even though this was the person he least wanted to spend time with, he had to admit everything was better than being alone at the moment.

They walked silently next to each other along 42nd Street and were eyed rather curiously by the people they passed. Maybe because they didn't at all look like anyone who came here at night or maybe because they feared they were just another 'looking for some fun' passers-by. After all it was quite popular among straight people to come here and laugh at the colorful queers and the many drags you could find. Or maybe, and this would be the worst maybe, they recognized Pembroke and feared what was possible to happen. Every now and then there were small groups of youngsters sitting on the stoops in front of the old brick-stone houses, cuddling closer together as soon as they noticed them. Or they would just stare wickedly at the two of them. Under normal circumstances these looks would creep anyone out, but nothing happened. They remained where they were. No one would dare to attack Pembroke anyway, that much Max knew. He himself had only heard of him before agreeing to work with him, but he had noticed Roger and Carmen knew exactly who was standing in front of them. Or so it seemed. Maybe they'd also just concluded, but Carmen's look had been speaking volumes. Never before had Max seen him so full of loathing, so obviously the old saying of 'getting to know your enemies' applied in that case.

"I see you look around," he heard Pembroke's voice next to himself and turned his head to look at him.

"Then take a good look," he continued after Max didn't show any reaction. "I want you to see what I am trying to fight."

"You're fighting people who love each other," Usually Max wouldn't have dared to say that, but it didn't matter right now. He couldn't destroy any more.

"Love?" Pembroke stopped and for a moment looked as though he was furious. But his face changed quickly again. "Oh, dear young friend. Look around. An abnormal behavior like that has nothing to do with love. These perverts are not capable of feeling something as complex as love. This is all part of a dysfunction in their brains. Something sick that needs to be eliminated."

"I think you're overreacting a bit," Max replied, now a little louder. "All I see is young people trying to be who they are."

"That's because you don't know better," Pembroke said and looked around with a disgust in his eyes. It appeared to grow even more the longer they were there. "But they will put up with normal people, trying to drag them into their perverted world and do unspeakable things. And they will succeed. Just think about it. If a child sees something like that, it may think it's alright and soon they'll have one more. It's epidemic, believe me."

"Are you afraid this will happen to you?" Max asked, but immediately wished he hadn't.

Pembroke's face turned blank and Max swore it looked like all the blood drained from it for a second.

"Well," he coughed slightly and turned back to normal. "Let's say I am not at all afraid. I just happen to know what they are able to do. And I don't think any abomination of that kind should make us risk the good old values we've all grown up to."

Max shivered hearing this. Pembroke appeared to be obsessed with getting rid of them. And from what he'd heard he didn't back away from anything that might help him. And suddenly Carmen's face appeared in front of his eyes. Just the way it was when he had seen it. It was hard to imagine how Roger must have felt seeing him in a state much worse than that. No, he couldn't find any way to feel empathic towards Pembroke. This was his fault. And even though Max couldn't prove anything yet, he knew. The old man had loathed getting objections from Carmen and Roger and from what he had said to him after they'd vanished was more than a clue. He simply must have had something to do with all this. Otherwise there would be no rumors, would they?

"I think you should join me another day," Pembroke said again. "I will show you what I mean."

"Join you? What for?"

"A cleaning," Pembroke replied and handed Max a card. And as he took it, he turned and walked away, leaving Max bewildered.

A cleaning?! That didn't sound too good at all. Max looked at the card in his hand a little closer. Not much was written on it. Only Pembroke's contact data and a phone number; stuff you'd usually find on a business card. But when Max turned it, a date was written there in blue ink:

06-28-1969

Stonewall

"The Stonewall?" Max thought. "But...that's a low dive... And on Christopher Street. What does he want there?"

…..

"What are you doing here?"

Carmen couldn't believe it. Finding Diane standing in the middle of their house was something he didn't expect at all. How did she find out where he lived? After only one meeting no one usually showed up at someone's place, right? But then again, he was somehow glad to see her. A happy face was something he hadn't seen in a while.

"I'm sorry I turned up here just like that," She answered a little shyly. "But I...I needed your help."

Carmen stepped closer. Diane's face changed when she saw him and her eyes turned wide.

"Oh my god...What did they do to you?" she gasped, not taking her eyes away. It made Carmen blush a little and he coughed slightly.

"It's alright," he spoke with a calming voice. He kept forgetting his appearance must shock people lately. But before he could reply anything more, she flung her arms around him. It came a little unexpected and he felt his body stiffened for a second. But then a small smile appeared on his face and he slowly lifted his arms to stroke her back softly.

"It's okay," he whispered. "Nothing happened, really."

"I'm sorry," she answered, slowly letting go of him again and lifting her face to look into his eyes. "I'm so sorry this happened to you. I can't believe people do something like that."

"People are dangerous these days. We both agreed on that the last time," Carmen answered, still smiling at her.

She nodded slowly and then lifted her mouth into a weak smile as well. Carmen noticed immediately and it reminded him just once more why it felt okay to have her here. It was that kind of positivity that they needed these days.

"Oh, ugh... This other man let me in," Diane continued as though she just remembered why she was here. "I'm sorry, I only had your name, so.."

"Ah, but my name is not listed with this address," Carmen laughed. "So, you must have investigated a lot." He winked at her once and could tell she felt caught. It was there in her face.

"That was Roger," he continued pretty amused. "I'm sorry if he didn't introduce himself, but he's usually not the one opening the door. So, he may simply have forgotten."

"That was Roger? Your Roger?" she asked.

Carmen nodded.

"He's handsome," she said but blushed the very next moment, clutching her hands over her mouth. "Oh, I'm sorry...I didn't...I meant you must be very lucky having such a man by your side."

Carmen gave a short laugh.

"Don't you worry so much," he replied. "Roger wouldn't have let you in if he felt danger of any kind coming from you. Believe me, I know!"

She still seemed a little embarrassed. But at least that seemed to calm her a bit.

"So, you need my help?" Carmen asked after a moment. "That's what you said."

"Yes, I..." she hesitated. Maybe she was thinking about how to put her request. Carmen couldn't tell for sure, but he clearly noticed it happened to be hard for her to say what she wanted somehow.

"I... I know he's here," she finally said, looking straight into his eyes again.

Carmen immediately backed away a little and he felt his face turning to stone and obviously he wasn't moving one muscle anymore. It took him a while to really comprehend what she was talking about. But as soon as he was sure he got everything, he didn't know what to think anymore. How could she have found out? And more importantly what exactly did she want then?

"How do you know?" he asked carefully and tried hard not to let any emotions show through his voice. But obviously, his body language did the trick, since Diane instinctively stepped back as well. Maybe seeing him not moving and with a stony face was a little intimidating.

She shook her head quickly.

"I...I mean no harm, believe me," she said. "Could I talk to him? Please. No one knows I'm here. Nothing will happen to you or him for that matter."

Carmen didn't answer.

"Please," Diane begged. "I need to...I need to know what happened. If...if this was my fault..."

Carmen closed his eyes and sighed. Then, looking at her again he slowly shook his head.

"No, it's got nothing to do with you," he finally answered silently.

"So, you know what's the matter? He just quit. I mean, I couldn't even talk to him. And no one seems to know anything. And then there's Max who doesn't wanna talk about him, which appears just odd."

"You've talked to Max?" Carmen's attention was back again. "So, that's why you know he's here."

"I...No! No!" Diane tried to draw back, but knew it was too late. She sighed. "Listen, it was a big deal to find out... Please, I...I just want to apologize. Max didn't say anything. He avoids everything involving Leo in any way."

Carmen thought about it. This was nonsense. She only could have gotten this little information from him. But why? Something just didn't make sense.

"What do you know about Arthur Pembroke?" Roger's voice sounded from behind Carmen, causing him to turn around and Diane to stare at him in surprise. He was standing on the stairs, now moving slowly towards them with his arms crossed and not taking his eyes away from her.

"I...uh, not much I must admit," she answered hesitantly. "I only talked to him twice and he appeared like a nice old man. But of course, I've heard the rumors about him. I just can't tell you if any of this is right or not."

Roger nodded. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop on your conversation. But it appears to me you have no clue at all what is going on."

Carmen looked at him and then turned back to Diane, crossing his arms as well.

"What?"

"Look at his face," Roger said, pointing at Carmen. "Where do you think he got this from?"

"Roger," Carmen interrupted quickly.

"Do you mean that was Pembroke?" Diane gasped.

"NO!" Carmen was surprised himself how loud his voice could get. But he felt he needed to stop all these accusations right now. But feeling the eyes of both of them on him that very moment too, he quickly added: "No! There is absolutely no evidence of Pembroke being involved in this. So please, don't use a sledgehammer to crack a nut!"

"Carmen, why do you keep defending him?" Roger asked and gave him a rather concerned look.

"I don't," the slender man answered. "But...I think it's dumb to accuse someone without knowing all the facts."

"If it was him," Diane interrupted them. "Then he is crazy. And dangerous."

"Not you too," Carmen replied, letting his arms sink again.

"But this is absolutely outrageous!"

"And that's exactly why," Roger jumped in again. "We cannot let Leo run into this danger as well. Do you understand this? So, letting everyone come near him is a risk and that's exactly why we're asking all of this. I hope you don't feel offended."

Diane stopped.

"Wait what?" she asked. "Why would he be in danger?"

Carmen and Roger gave each other a short look of amazement and both of them seemed to understand immediately.

"Diane...," Carmen stepped closer, gently taking her hands. "What did he tell you about his life?"

"Not much," she answered. "He told me he had to give up a lot in the past. And that he'd worked as an accountant before he became who he is now, whatever that means. I know he's living with his girlfriend and it appears to be a normal living together, just like every other couple. Although they've had some problems around a year ago, they seemed to have worked it out. That's all he told me."

Roger immediately shook his head, looking down. Carmen on the other hand didn't take his eyes away from her, biting his lips.

"So what if you found out there was something he didn't tell you?" Carmen asked sincerely.

Diane simply stared back at him for a moment, obviously thinking about it. But then, she shrugged slightly.

"So what?" she answered calmly. "I guess he told me as much as he felt I needed to know."

Carmen turned and shortly looked at Roger, then smiled again. He almost had to laugh. Of course. What else did he expect? First of all Leo didn't tell her. That suited him so much. And then, she didn't seem to want to find out really. What an odd situation.

"So, tell me," she continued. "Why would he be in danger?"

"Diane," Roger stepped closer now. "Would you mind coming in? We would love to offer you a tea, if you like."

She nodded and followed them into the house. She walked silently behind Roger with Carmen accompanying her, but neither of them said a word. She looked around as they walked the long corridor. What a strange house this was. Colorful in a way, but she couldn't recall ever meeting someone who seemed to like flowers and little pink goodies that much. She'd always thought it's be a cliché but apparently it applied to Roger and Carmen.

But before she could wonder anymore how anyone could afford a huge house like that in the middle of the city, she found herself seated on one of the incredibly cozy chairs in the middle of what happened to be a kitchen. A kitchen that was indeed larger than her entire apartment.

"So, have you noticed any weird behavior towards Leo coming from Pembroke?" Roger asked handing her a cup after a moment.

"Weird?" she asked and thought about it a short moment. Then she slowly shook her head. "No, you can't say weird. Well, of course I don't know what they've talked about all the time. I mean it's not really my concern what a producer talks about with his backers, right?"

Roger nodded approvingly. "So, he's talked to him?"

"I guess," Diane answered. "I didn't see it that often though. Leo mostly sat a little away from them, brooding over papers."

"Hm, I see," Roger replied, sitting down as well. "You see, Leo's had huge problems with this man."

"Apparently it led him to hide a lot of who he was and talk to no one anymore really," Carmen said. "Not even us had a real chance to change that."

"But," Diane didn't understand. "People told you were working there too. Why did you leave?"

"Unfortunately, we were forced to," Roger answered, lifting his head a little to look at her. His voice was calm although his face was not. "He made them let us go."

"Why?"

"Because he is the most intolerant person there is and apparently devoted himself to hate us 'fairies' most of all," Roger blasted out. "He obviously blames everything that's wrong with this world on us and he is pretty well known never to work with anyone who is openly...different."

Diane listened to every word of the older man and couldn't take her eyes away from him.

"How do you know it's him?" she asked after a while.

"Rumors don't appear out of thin air," Roger replied. "We have no evidence though, but he did the same to us as he did to everyone else who ever had the pleasure of working with him. Everyone gay that is."

Carmen didn't say anything, just staring to the ground and tipping his tea-cup with his fingers from time to time. Diane noticed from the corner of her eyes.

"So, you think he'd suspected Leo of...," she suggested. She couldn't finish her question though. Just the thought of it appeared so strange. If any of this was true, why didn't Leo just tell him about his girl and eliminate any doubt?

"But...but it can't be," she said after a moment. "He saw us...I mean..."

"What? That kiss?" Roger asked. And judging the look on Diane's face, he quickly added: "We know about that, don't worry. And yes, he may have seen it. But that doesn't mean he believed it."

"So why didn't Leo just tell him then?" she asked. "I mean it would have been easy for him to convince him, wouldn't it?"

Carmen and Roger only blinked at her and she kept feeling more and more uneasy about their constant stares. If anything spoke against it, all they had to do is telling her. All these little pieces they chose to throw at her started to really bother her.

"What if you were wrong?" Carmen finally asked hesitantly from the corner he was sitting in.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean...," Carmen looked at her now too. "What if he was just hiding. What if he chose not to tell you as well, either because he wanted to keep you away from all of it or maybe he just didn't want you to know...either way?"

"What?" Diane gave him a doubtful look and laughed slightly. This was absurd. Whatever he was implying there, it made no real sense to her at all.

"What if I told you there never was a woman," Carmen asked with his eyes almost piercing her. "At least not as long as you knew him."

Diane's eyes widened. She doubted for a second she got that right.

"But...," she started after a while. "But this cannot be. He told me about her..."

"Well, maybe he made it up," Roger said.

"Why would he made it up?" Diane asked a little defiantly now. All of this talking got her nowhere, especially when she thought about how close she were right now. But somehow she felt she needed to answer whatever right in order to get a little further and that little fact really started to annoy her.

"Maybe because I didn't want you to get into trouble as well!"

Carmen and Roger looked up rather quickly, whereas Diane closed her eyes and didn't dare to move for a moment. It felt as though she'd expected or better 'feared' exactly that, right the moment Leo's voice appeared behind her.

Carmen instinctively jumped up.

"We... I didn't know you were coming down," he stuttered.

Leo leaned in the door-frame, looking as though he didn't care for anything they said. He looked tired that much Diane noticed when she slowly turned as well. He hadn't been in such a -she had to call it depressive- state the last time she'd seen him. There were dark rings under his eyes making him look as though he hadn't slept in years and a slight shadow of a beard was clearly to be seen in his face. His hair was tousled and hang loosely in front of his eyes. But the thing that hit her mostly was the sound of his voice. Not angry, not desperate. He sounded as though someone just talked about cleaning dishes. It was completely disinterested and unimpressed.

"You wanted to prevent me from getting into trouble?" Diane asked quietly, completely ignoring Carmen. "Why?"

It seemed like an eternity the two of them just stared at one another, before Leo finally chose to close his eyes and lowered his head.

"Because trouble is what would have happened if he'd found out," he answered.

"Found out what?" Diane just whispered without being able to use her normal voice anymore.

"That they are right," Leo replied, looking up at her again. "Truth is I lived with a man. For quite some years now. And Pembroke was suspecting it. Or knew it already, I don't know. You would have been out of there as soon as he'd noticed you knew as well. I had to lie to you."

Diane stepped back a few inches, not taking her eyes off of him.

"You...What was a year ago then?" she asked, not believing what he'd just said.

"A fight! Just like I told you," he answered without showing the slightest sign of emotions. "Just with him not her as you expected."

Diane stepped back a little more almost running into Carmen, who held his arms up to keep her from falling as she started to stumble. She turned her head so fast at him, he also almost backed away. But seeing her face exactly that moment almost broke his heart. She was looking at him with the biggest eyes he ever saw and he was certain she wasn't able to comprehend all of this right now. So much confusion in such innocent night naive eyes...

It was many years ago since Carmen had last seen that look.

"You...you knew?" she asked Carmen in a hoarse voice. "You knew that? And played along?"

"We had to play along," Carmen answered. "Listen, nothing's changed. It's still him. There is absolutely no reason to be afraid or shocked or anything. It's Leo the way you knew him."

"You should have told me," Diane said a little louder now, turning around and facing Leo again. "You should have been honest with me."

"What difference does it make?" Leo asked, closing his eyes once more. "This is over. So, you know a little fact about me that lies in the past. So what? You can carry on as if nothing happened at all!"

"How can you expect me to just carry on knowing...knowing this?" she asked and noticed in surprise how close to screaming she was right now. Daringly, she managed to step closer to Leo again. "I believed you! And you can't even look at me... We were friends. That's what you said! And then you vanish just like that, leaving everything behind without anyone knowing. And after what happened..."

She stopped for a slight moment and Roger and Carmen held their breaths witnessing it.

"How can you abandon everything just like that?" she continued, pointing at Roger and Carmen. "You have friends like them! And you have a partner since ten years! And you've had me. I thought you trusted me. So, whatever happened. Whether you and whoever he was split up or not... You've had all the support you needed...and you just left everyone behind you! This is damn unfair!"

"You don't know as much as you think," Leo answered, now looking furious. "You think because for a tiny moment we got along fine you know everything? You think you know the people around me? You think you know my life? Then why? Why did you come here, searching for answers?"

"I...," her face changed. She surely didn't expect being attacked like that, when she was the one having been lied to. "Because... I..."

"You have no idea about anything!" he screamed. "So, please leave me alone. You've ruined everything! Do you get that? And now that you know what you needed to know, you can leave again and forget you've found me here!"

They held their stare for another moment, before Diane turned around, gripping her bag and coat and hurried out of the kitchen, past Leo. She turned once more shortly.

"Thank you for everything," she said in the direction of Roger and Carmen and then left the house as quick as she could. She wanted to get out before anyone was able to notice the tears in her eyes.

Leo didn't turn. And the other two just stared at him, not believing what just had happened. When they finally heard the door it felt like the whole house was exhaling.

"She wanted to help," Carmen slowly began. "You know that right?"

Leo nodded.

"And she only worried about you," Roger continued. "And you know why?"

Again, Leo nodded.

"Because she's in love with me," he answered silently.

"Why did you act that way then?" Roger asked.

"Because I've had my share of people supposedly loving me," he answered, looking up.

Much to their horror, both of them -Carmen as well as Roger- saw tears in the younger man's eyes again.

…

Max couldn't believe how hard it was to really find out a little more private things about Arthur Pembroke. The man was publicly known and almost famous, at least among theater people. But he couldn't just walk around asking people. That would be way to suspicious. So, he managed to get as many newspapers and magazines he could get from almost a decade ago, only to scroll through them for the past few nights. He couldn't sleep anyway and figured he might as well just use the time in a constructive way and find out a little more. Ever since he witnessed Pembroke's face that night on 42nd Street he knew there was something wrong. Something must have happened in his past and Max was determined that something was the very reason why the old guy carried such hatred in him. Sure, a lot of people hated the 'immorality' and the police was out every night, arresting and beating up homosexuals in the streets. He even knew it got worse every day. But Pembroke was literally inciting them to hate even more. And he was sure something must have caused all that.

He remembered a few years back, it was no big deal at all. At least not for theatrical matters. People came from everywhere watching drag shows and it was pretty common there existed this 'other world' around them. But now things had changed and he couldn't explain why. No one could actually and that was what bothered him a lot.

Could be his own perception changed over the years. It must have. He remembered being completely shocked when he met Roger for the first time. He just couldn't grasp someone could really live like that; worst of all it was hard to understand a man who openly loved other men. But he'd had to admit apart from all these girlish habits and the drama queen he oh so often could be, Roger was a pretty nice guy. It didn't take him that long to see through that and he still felt ashamed of how he had reacted back then.

So, maybe all those years being so close to one of them changed him. Or maybe it was the time he'd spent with Leo.

Max sighed, putting another paper aside. It most likely had been Leo. He'd laughed at anyone some years ago who told him he was going to love another man just the way Roger did. He'd have called them crazy. And just that moment Max realized how long it really had taken him to finally admit this little fact to himself. But it was true. Leo had been right. He was one of them. As much as he had had his eyes closed. As much as he hadn't wished to see it and as much as he had denied it, even while he was long but sure he loved that boy... He was one of them.

Max almost had to laugh realizing that for the first time maybe.

"I've been even a bigger idiot than I thought," he said to himself. And the longer he thought about it, the more he was determined to find out how to stop Pembroke. His eyes wandered over to the little business card the old man gave to him. He had sloppily thrown it on the desk when he was back that night and hadn't wasted one more thought about it ever since.

But now he slowly took it, watching the blue words which were carefully written on it again.

"What is he planning?" he thought. The Stonewall wasn't really a place he would think about when it came to 'cleaning' the streets. Christopher Street was well known to be the street for homosexuals of any kind anyway. Why not keep them there? And the Stonewall was just one of many bars; and not even a good one for that matter. A doss house with no license or running water. And since selling alcohol to homosexuals was illegal they practically had nothing. What was the point in starting anything there then?

"Damn it," Max thought. "Leo had always been so much better in finding out this kind of stuff..."

But there was nothing for it. As much as the younger man managed to sneak back into his mind, there was no way he could undo what he had done. Even if he regretted it for the rest of his life. But maybe there was a small chance Max could do at least a little to avoid any more danger. Keeping Leo safe was just one step. He was quite certain there was no way Leo would ever grow to understand it, but he was out of it now. And that was all that mattered.

"You shouldn't really think that much," he reminded himself again.

Max shook his head. He had to get rid of these memories. In one way or another. So, he grabbed just another newspaper and sat down on the leather couch, starting to turn the pages slowly so he wouldn't miss anything.

It was mainly the random stuff one was able to find in every other magazine about Pembroke.

Max turned another page, expecting the usual things again. But suddenly his eyes widened and he almost jumped up, tearing down the piles of papers surrounding him.

"Holy crap," he yelled and ran over to the desk, turning on the table lamp. He bend over and carefully read the little part he just found again and again. Then he quickly turned to the front page again, double-checking the date.

"Fifteen years ago?"

He couldn't believe it. But it made so much sense all of a sudden. This was it. The very reason why Pembroke acted the way he did. And he had the evidence there, right in front of him.

So, maybe if he used this against him, he could stop at least a little of it.

A huge wave of excitement ran through Max that moment. He didn't really believe he would actually find something after all these nights. But as sure as he knew he had finally found the one little piece helping him out, he had no clue where to start at the same time. And he flinched slightly when a knock on his door harshly ripped him out of his euphoria.

He turned his head to the door and back to the paper in front of him once or twice, before he rather impetuously started to walk towards the door.

"God damn it," he heard himself swearing and opened it quickly, ready to yell anyone away who dared to disturb him just now.

But as determined as he was while ripping that door open, the heavier felt the impact of the sudden calming when he looked into the big blue eyes of Diane standing in front of him, looking as though she'd start to cry any second.

Max sighed.

"Oh come on!" he said. "What do you want here? I thought I've told you not to contact me again?!"

"I know you did," she answered with a voice almost as quiet as a mouse. "But I had to. I'm sorry. I...You're the only person I can talk to about that."

"I am not a shoulder for you to cry on," Max replied quickly, but at the same time noticed how aggressive he sounded. It surely wasn't intended and he almost felt sorry when he saw the small woman in front of him jerking. Well, she deserved it showing up here again. Why should he help her again? And how on earth was he supposed to leave Leo behind him when that girl found a way to remind him again every now and then, for that was surely the purpose of her seeking his company again. He thought about just closing the door and cutting her out once and for all. But yet, a small voice inside of him kept telling him not to do that.

He shook his head once, more to himself and turned his gaze away, biting his lips. Then he stepped aside and opened the door a little more, making room for her to come in.

She didn't seem to get it at first and simply remained where she was, looking at him in a questioning way that almost made him shudder.

"Do you mind?" he asked, now a lot quieter. "I'd rather not have the whole neighborhood knowing what you want to ask and I'm pretty sure you don't want that either."

A small smile appeared in Diane's eyes and Max could read the huge 'Thank you' written clearly all over her face when she quickly moved past him inside.

….

"Are you sure you don't want me to come along?"

Leo shook his head. Carmen worried to much. He knew both of them, Roger as well as Carmen, only meant well but he needed to do that himself. He couldn't tell them though.

"Please try to understand," he said gratefully. "I shocked her and was beyond rude. I just have to do this alone."

He smiled at them while putting on his coat and then turned and carefully closed the door behind him.

"I knew he'd feel bad about it," Roger said.

"Yeah," Carmen simply stood next to him. He felt responsible for the whole mess a lot and even though Roger as well as Leo assured him, it wasn't his fault at all he couldn't shake it. Leo hadn't been angry at him for telling Diane what he did. No, on the contrary. When Carmen tried to apologize he simply replied. "She had to find out. Don't worry about it."

But still he kept on thinking he never should have talked to that girl in the first place. And now, Leo was out there, trying to apologize for what he had said to her. At least her words seemed to have their affect on him in a way. He just couldn't go on acting the way he had been. Leo was not the person not to care about anyone anymore. And as much as he tried to lock his heart away, he just wasn't able to not being who he was or maybe always had been.

Carmen looked up again when he felt Roger's hand on his chin softly pushing his head up.

"Don't you worry that much," he gently said. "He'll be fine. He'll talk to that girl and after a little time everything will be back to normal. No scars are meant to hurt forever."

"I just hope you're right!" Carmen answered, softly stroking Roger's hand. "I really hope you are..."

….

Diane walked inside the office, carefully looking around. She'd always imagined a producer's office to look differently. This looked more like an apartment with all the little things standing around, the piles of books everywhere and hundreds of pictures on the walls. She recognized Leo on many of them.

Her eyes wandered around as she stopped in the middle of the room. There obviously were more rooms in the back of this here, which served as the 'official' office and she instantly wondered why someone as well known as Max really lived here too. She'd always imagined someone like him would make a strict cut between his personal and professional life, but the borders here clearly became blurred.

Her eyes rested on the huge desk in the middle on which the lights of the city cast a strange orange glow and underlined by the light of the table lamp standing on it, it made the whole table appear as though it was glowing and kind of distracted her from anything else. But when her eyes got used to the darkness around her, she couldn't believe what she was seeing.

"You...Are you sleeping on that couch?" she asked carefully, not taking her gaze away from the pillow and a blanket which were simply flung over the backrest of it. Only little space was there to actually sit on and she only now noticed the piles of newspapers stacking up around that couch or lying around all over the floor.

Max passed her and moved behind the desk without answering. She followed him with his eyes, but didn't dare to say anything. This was odd. He couldn't actually live like that. Although she's heard of people doing this, she also heard most of them would rather die than letting anyone witnessing it. So obviously, this guy didn't care at all what she could possibly be thinking. And that made even less sense since he must have plenty of space. And Max Bialystock wasn't exactly famous for not caring about people's opinions. That much she had learned.

She turned once more to look outside the huge french windows and suddenly wondered why the image of someone hiding in a shelter popped up like that inside of her. This indeed looked like he wasn't really keen on the world outside or anyone in general.

"Funny," she thought. "He seemed so different outside."

And all of a sudden it felt strange to stand there for...she didn't even know how long. But without either of them saying anything it only appeared to be longer than it was in reality. Plus there was that tension in the room. A tension between two people of whom neither wished the presence of one another. She felt it clearly and she knew he was thinking the same.

She lowered her head a little and almost humbly dared to look at him again.

Max sat on the desk-chair with his arms crossed, also looking outside and tried his very best to ignore she was there, but she could tell he was waiting for her to start speaking.

"Why do you keep it that dark in here?" she asked timidly.

She thought he was about to ignore her again, since it took quite some time before he took a breath to answer. But then he closed his eyes.

"Well, sometimes," he began almost not audible. "You want to keep things you don't want to see in the dark..."

What the hell was that supposed to mean? She didn't understand and it made her feel even more uneasy. How could Leo insist of him being his best friend? This guy was just scary in so many ways. He didn't appear nicer, even after she managed to talk to him. But then again, she didn't plan to see him that privately before. And didn't he help her the first time too? But somehow Diane didn't know what to do to get him to trust her.

"Please don't take this the wrong way, but..." she heard his voice again and lifted her head slightly. He was still sitting motionless in that chair but now their eyes met. "What exactly is it you want?"

This was surprising. She never expected him to start. And even though he looked as grumpy as ever, his voice sounded a lot softer than minutes before. It was almost as though he sensed the nervousness that grew stronger inside of her and oddly enough, he seemed to know exactly what to do to blight it.

"I need to know...the truth," she began hesitantly. "About...about Leo."

Max sighed and looked down again. Slowly he stood up and based himself on the table.

"Didn't I help you already?" he asked quietly. "What else do you want from me? I told you I didn't want to talk about him. Not with you or anyone. You know where to find him, don't you? You can go and ask him yourself."

"I did, but..."

"What the hell do you need me for then?" Max lifted his head so suddenly, it almost caused Diane to jump backwards. His voice grew louder with every word and even if he managed to calm her a little before, he burned his bridges again right now.

"I didn't mean to upset you...," she tried to calm him, but there was no use.

"What else do you think am I supposed to do?" Max yelled. "Come along with you? I won't do that, I'm sorry. I already gave you more than I ever should have."

"He didn't talk to me!" Diane desperately yelled back at him.

"Well, then you know what you wanted to know, right?" Max stopped shortly. He didn't know himself why that girl caused such anger inside of him. But every single time she approached him, everything around him seemed to break down again.

"Please, I ….It was a week ago... And they told me some things. I just don't believe them," she continued. "I cannot comprehend that. And you must know if they are right."

"What makes you think I know about whatever they told you?" Max asked, now slowly stepping closer and causing Diane to stumble backwards on the leather couch.

"You are..."

"I WAS, GOD DAMN IT!" Max was frighteningly close to her now. "Don't you get that? I was his friend. There's nothing more we have to say to each other. I don't know how to help you. I don't know what he does, nor do I care! So, please... Will you stop mentioning his name once and for all?"

"What happened to you? Everything was fine when I first met you," she didn't want to give up that easily. "Please, tell me! Leo was so strange as well."

But Max looked away, just shaking his head.

"Please," he whispered and turned away. "I cannot help you."

There was her chance. She noticed immediately. Whatever caused this in him, he stopped screaming.

But then, Diane froze. He wasn't calming down. No, not at all. It seemed almost as though her words were hurting him. She slowly shook her head. This was not possible. Why would they?

That man in front of her grew to be a riddle to her. He was bad tempered and distant in one moment, yet he helped her. He let her in. Then he started screaming just like that and now the pure mention of Leo's name made him almost break down.

She didn't know what to say. Her whole body relaxed slowly and she even dared to turn her head a little. Her gaze fell on the paper which lay open on the desk.

She could make out the headline and slowly stretched to read the rest of it.

"You're trying to find out about Pembroke?" she realized.

Max turned in surprise, only to find her leaning over the article reading through it.

"None of your concern," he replied and rushed forwards trying to take the newspaper away from her, but he came too late. She pressed her arms steadily on it. So there was no way for him to get it.

"So it is true then?" she asked. "He is the one behind all these actions going on in the streets?"

Max looked at her. Did Roger and Carmen tell her that? He didn't dare to ask. But he thought about it. If she knew that much he might as well could tell her. She'd read that article anyway. So maybe it was better if people knew what they were dealing with, right? But what if Pembroke found out? What if she told him what he was doing here? But then again, she said herself no one will know she was here, right?

"Damn it," Max closed his eyes and rubbed his head shortly, before slowly coming closer to her.

"He is planning something," he said quietly. "I don't know what, so don't ask. But I know he is up to something."

She turned towards him, searching for a sign in his face that told her whether he meant it this time or not. Max noticed. He'd always hated it when people were obviously trying to read him, but then again he didn't know why he was that worried. She didn't know anything about him. Hell, she even told him she was scared of him. And her reactions just moments ago were doing the rest. She couldn't possibly know.

"Here," he said, bending forward and pointing at a small part in the article. "I think there must be a reason he acts the way he does. A reason why... why he hates people who are, well... different."

"You mean homosexuals?" she asked and Max nodded.

"I figured something must have caused this hatred and I guess I've found it," he said, pushing the paper closer to her. "Read it."

She finally seemed to be convinced Max meant no harm this time. So, she stepped closer, stopping beside him and slowly started to read.

"... but beyond all that, Arthur Pembroke has quite a dramatic past to look back to as well. When the message of his son's death reached him, he 'didn't know what hit him'. So he said himself.

Pembroke's son died while being away with friends some years ago. Due to the police he had been involved in a brawl down at Christopher Street when things escalated quickly..."

"He's had a son?" Diane asked not believing what was written there in front of her.

Max nodded.

"He obviously had," he answered. "And if this is right... If he really got killed on Christopher Street, he either blames every queer in town for it or, and I think that's more likely the case... His son was one of them."

"Do you really think that?" Diane looked at him with wide eyes.

"Why would someone walk around exactly that street with his friends in the middle of the night?" Max asked in return. "I don't know for sure of course. But I think the death of his son is the very reason all this happens. It's some kind of revenge."

Diane caught herself nodding at his words as well. But then another thought crossed her mind.

"So, they were right?" she asked. "Leo could be in danger too..."

Max whirled around and this time he stared at her in shock.

"What?"

A weak smile appeared on her face, seeing this.

"So it IS true," she stated. "I can see it in your eyes. He indeed is one of them."

Max didn't move at first. He didn't even know what to say. He was petrified. How could she possibly know that?

"How did you find out?" Max asked, sighing deeply. He hesitated once or twice asking this. As much as he wished not to ask it, he still had to know. And he felt himself giving up. His voice sounded hoarse and it was almost as though the huge weight of keeping a secret like that to himself for so long just dropped off him.

"He told me," she answered. "When I was there at Carmen's and Roger's place."

"He did?" Max didn't look up. Instead he put his head in his hands, trying to breath.

"I didn't want to believe it," she continued, not taking her eyes away. "I thought it was just something he said to stop me asking any more. But seeing you... I never believed he was...you know..."

"What? Gay?" Max looked up and saw her nodding quickly. Then she slowly turned and sat down on the couch again.

"So that's why he was so distant all of the time," she said. "He tried to hide it. I've thought about it a lot. He never mentioned a girlfriend either. I just assumed it. And he just never corrected me. I should have known. But I seriously thought...I thought he knew he could trust me."

Max listened to her. What on earth was he supposed to reply? He wasn't able to sooth her, nor was he able to answer anything. He didn't know Leo talked about that much with her.

"I'm sorry I came here and bothered you again," she said, looking up at him again. To his horror tears were running down her cheeks now. "I just … I thought I could help him. However. He is suffering. I saw it. He is a picture of misery. Only a shade of who he used to be. He said it was over. So, whoever it was that broke his heart... I'm sorry. I just thought I could help him to get over this. But obviously, I don't know half of it."

Max shook his head. She didn't know. She only assumed. A small part of him was really impressed just now. She had a way in concluding things which was just amazing. On the other hand she seemed so desperate.

So, he slowly moved over to her and sat down beside her. He lifted his arm and tried to comfort her by gently stroking her back.

"It wasn't your fault," he said softly. "Leo...He had to hide. He had to conceal a lot of who he was from a lot of people. And the fact he told you that much about himself... He must really like you."

"Why did you two separate?" she sobbed. "He told me you were his best friend. You've worked together for years. And now, all of a sudden he vanishes and you don't even want to hear his name anymore?"

Max swallowed his own words for a moment.

"Did you find out too?" she asked silently. "I could completely understand if this was hard to deal with. "

Max shook his head.

"What was it then?" she asked. Max could see her tears dripping down her chin. "He needs you. If he really got dumped...He needed you more than anyone else. How could you pull yourself away just like that?"

"Don't ask," he managed to reply.

"Why not?"

"Please...," he shook his head, closing his eyes.

"Please, I need to understand," she cried. "Why would you leave him alone in his pain? In a world that became that dangerous? You are his best friend. How can you do that to him?"

Max opened his eyes slowly. "Why are you so interested in this? People change. This is how the world goes. It always worked that way. Why would a broken heart change anything?"

He couldn't bare it anymore. The picture of Leo crying his eyes out appeared in front of him and almost broke his own heart. He never wanted him to suffer. And just thinking about it made him feel weak in an instance.

"Because broken hearts can be mended," she answered. "If you have the people you love beside you."

Enough. This was it. Max got up again, turning his back on her and crossing his arms. His own blood was pounding in his ears and he held his eyes closed. He didn't want to hear this. He'd taken a step too far anyway.

"Please...," she repeated once more, still sobbing. "I care for him. I can't endure seeing him like that...I...I..."

"You love him," Max turned around. His eyes looked sadly at her and he felt as though his whole body was about to break in half. A tugging pain shot through his whole being.

Diane on the the other hand became quiet. She stared at him in shock with tears still glittering in her big eyes, which were red from the emotions so desperately trying to find a way out of her.

"What?" she whispered. "What...what makes you think that?"

She didn't take her gaze away, nor did she move anymore. She just sat there as though turned to stone. Her fists grabbed the couch so hard, Max could see her knuckles turning white.

"You can't possibly know what I am feeling," she whispered. It was so quiet Max was nearly notable to hear it.

But he simply nodded.

"Oh yes, I can see it," he answered. "It's in your whole being. I know that look too well."

"How do you know?" she asked desperately.

"Because, I know how you feel," he replied, closing his eyes once more. "Because I know..."

"Know what?"

He held his breath for a long time. He could hear his own heartbeat and he was pretty sure everyone within a mile was able to hear it as well. All the sounds around himself muffled magically.

And when he finally opened his eyes again, he spoke in determined voice he completely forgot about himself.

"I know what it feels like to miss him," he began. "I know what it is like to look into his eyes and finding the world for yourself. I know how light you feel when he laughs. Or how unimportant everything appears to be when he simply stares into space, completely giving in to his own little world no one but him had access to. I know what it sounds like when he calls out your name and how your heart seemingly stops for a second. I know how he looks when he is angry or sad. I know how his tears look like. I know how secure you fell lying next to him, just seeing him sleep. I know what he smells like and I know perfectly well how you're not able to go on without him."

Diane's eyes grew bigger with every word she heard. She felt her jaw drop and she almost stopped breathing.

"I was involved in a car accident about a year ago. I've lost every memory of him or the people around me. Just everything. And Leo was the only one standing beside me the whole time. That night. When he came into your diner for the first time... We've had a fight. I hurt him a lot and he was about to completely give up on me. But it was then...when I thought I'd lost him, everything came back to me. I remembered. And I guess it was you who brought Leo back to his senses back then. I think he believed I would never change. But the truth is, he made me change. In every possible way. And I guess I've never really thanked you for that. You saved my reason to go on for me."

Max turned to look at her again. Diane didn't dare to move a muscle.

"That's exactly why I had to get rid of him. As hard as that sounds," he said. "He wasn't safe here. Pembroke knew way too much and suspected him anyway. I wasn't able to protect him. And I knew what this man was capable of. So as painful as this is for him. As well as for me," he stopped shortly, trying to calm his shaking hands. "I'd rather have him crying his heart out than seeing him lying in the streets. Covered in blood because someone just cannot accept the fact I found out he is the most perfect being on earth. You just can't chose whom you fall for. And I couldn't let Pembroke near him. I just couldn't."

They stared at one another for an eternity. Diane had to handle every single word she heard. She was shocked. Probably more shocked than ever before in her life. This just couldn't be. But yet, it all made sense in the glimpse of a second. Everything.

And she was perfectly sure Max wasn't lying a bit. Just the way he looked at her made her know he spoke the truth. Stunned, she clutched her hands to her mouth.

"It was you!" she whispered.

~ To be continued ~


	11. The Meeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Merry Christmas to you all.
> 
> This kind of is my 'gift' to everyone of you who still reads my little stories: Two chapters at once. I really hope you will like them and the story still remains exciting.
> 
> I wish all of you a merry Christmas and wonderful holidays ^_^

Leo gave it all his effort to only watch at his feet while walking the streets. He'd taken a cab to Diane's apartment, but still had to walk a little to really reach it in the backyard of the many apartment blocks. Even though he'd spent the week literally just staring at the city, being among people within the beating heart of this metropolis made him feel uncomfortable again. But then, he would never have dared to go outside again, if his bad conscience didn't nearly drive him nuts. He knew he shouldn't have screamed her away. It wasn't her fault. Nothing that happened was her fault and maybe, but only maybe, she would find a way to forgive him.

She only meant good and Leo was well aware of how difficult things could get without friends, being in the lucky position of still having some of them.

He reached her door in no time and carefully searched for her name on the doorbells. But apparently, it was hard for him to really push it. He just noticed that moment and stopped with his hand in midair. Then he sighed. He didn't even know what exactly he wanted to say. He almost had to laugh at himself realizing it, but for the first time in many years he was completely aimless and it felt like being lost. An apology wasn't that much though. But somehow he didn't know how to face her. Yet, staring at her name on the doorbell felt like hours.

His eyes hurt. All those questions kept him so much in his head that he'd forgotten to blink.

It was no big deal. He couldn't even define his problem anymore the longer he stared at the little golden circle he was supposed to press. And his heart beat against his chest the longer he stood there. And it grew louder in his world. So much louder with every second.

Leo held his breath. This was silly. She had nothing to do with all the fears crawling up inside of him again after all these years. And even though she was somewhat connected to them, it was the right thing to do. So, he stretched his arm a little and finally pressed the bell, noticing he had his eyes closed doing so.

But nothing happened. Not a sound was to be heard; no answer came. The door didn't unlock.

Leo opened his eyes again. This wasn't at all what he'd expected. So, he pressed it again. And again.

But after a while he knew nothing was gonna happen anyway. Again, he sighed.

"I never thought she might not be here," he thought, leaning his head to the door frame. "Damn it, Leo."

He could easily wait for her. But that could take hours and he didn't really wanted to face the world that long. He lifted his head and looked up to her window, blinding out the sun with his hand.

A screeching noise appeared behind him and Leo turned his head in surprise. Yet, there was no one to be seen. He squinted his eyes once or twice. Maybe he'd imagined it. The street was as gray as it was before. The red brick-stone buildings formed a long alley and on its far end the people were still passing as though nothing had happened.

Leo shrugged and put his hands in his pockets, ready to leave.

His feet clattered on the cobble-stoned street as he made his way to leave the alley, but as soon as he arrived its end, he heard it again. Leo lifted his head. His eyes scanned the street in ever direction he could turn, but all he could make out were the people passing him, who looked down to their feet while walking. It almost seemed like they were simply ignoring it. Once or twice someone flinched when the screams appeared again, but then hurried to get away. It was then Leo was certain they fled from the duty of might helping someone in pain as there obviously was.

Another scream.

Leo turned again. He wasn't imagining it. There it was again. Within seconds Leo's eyes looked at every person who passed him. Why the hell would no one stop? This was unbelievable. He didn't exactly know why, but he needed to do something. If anyone was in pain, there ought to be at least one person willing to help.

Without really noticing it, his steps became faster and soon he found himself running down the street, following that voice.

And then, when he almost gave up on finding something and the thought of his own brain playing tricks on him it appeared again somewhere in the farthest corner of his mind. He turned again and saw the source of the screaming. There was a woman surrounded by three grown men, screaming with each kick she received from their feet.

Leo's eyes widened. This was unbelievable. How could people just pass by? How could anyone ignore?

And as if his feet developed a life of their own he marched towards the little crowd. It was some sort of good fortune he didn't spend one thought about what exactly he was doing that moment or else he might have just run away. Second thoughts would have been the fatal downfall of his intentions. Plus it didn't suit him at all, but in that tiny moment Leo wasn't his own self.

And before another kick could hurt that poor creature writhing on the floor, Leo stepped between them and spread his arms wide open to stop them to reach her once more.

For a second the men stood in front of him flabbergasted, nigh shocked. They surely didn't expect someone to do that. But then they started to laugh in their deep masculine voices.

Leo kept a straight face, just staring back at them, even though he felt the hair at the back of his neck began to stand on end immediately.

"Hey pal, what do you think you are doing here?" one of them asked rather amused.

"Well, someone has to stop you from hurting her," Leo dryly replied without taking his eyes away.

They laughed again, this time even harder.

"Her?" the second guy smirked. "Ha ha, Buddy, you need some pair of glasses."

"What?" Slowly Leo let his hands fall.

"Well, pally," the first one said, patting Leo on the shoulder and turning him slowly around. "Though your intentions are noble, you will find there's absolutely no need to make a fuss about it. In fact, 'she' deserved what she got!"

Leo stared at the woman lying on the street, sobbing. Her skirt was ripped apart and her make up was smeared all over her face, drawing long black lines on her cheeks whenever a tear left her eyes. There were bruises all over her body and small strings of blood were forcing their way down her legs. And then, all of a sudden Leo's eyes widened. Her supposedly soft face didn't appear as soft and smooth as he thought at first. And her whole being was much larger than he'd expected. In fact, she was not at all that women-like as anyone would think. She, in fact, was a He.

"You're a drag," Leo whispered, still staring at this picture of misery in front of him.

He lifted his head weakly and for a moment their eyes met. Leo felt a shiver running down his spine. So this was how it went these days; how people treated each other. And in that split second he understood that all of this had never been far away. It had neither been far away when Carmen got attacked nor when he was trying to hide from Pembroke and his vigilant eyes. He was in the middle of all this. Now more than ever.

And suddenly the image of Max sprung into his head again. He quickly shook his head to get rid of it. He wasn't like him. He wouldn't let anyone down just because it was too dangerous for himself. There was no way he would hide any longer. And surely he wouldn't let that happen in front of his eyes. There was no turning back.

"See buddy?" the unpleasant voice next to him said once more. "A fairy that's all this one is. They don't feel. It's just a freak. We're just teaching him a lesson."

Leo had his eyes closed. These words echoed through his mind and he felt an unknown anger crossing through his whole body.

"No," he whispered before slowly opening his eyes.

"Come again?" the second guy asked disbelievingly.

Leo now turned to them determinedly and spread his arms before the stranger on the ground again, this time even wider. He stared back at them angrily.

"You won't hurt him," he said quietly, causing them to laugh even harder after the first shock of his actions vanished in their faces.

"Seriously? You want to take sides?" The third one now grinned wickedly.

"This is wrong and you know it," Leo said now a little louder. It was a good thing he didn't have much time to think about it though. He surely would have freaked out and get his bum out of there as fast as he could when the men came closer. And they surely weren't laughing anymore.

Leo backed away a few steps and got closer to his unexpected protege. But he didn't take his arms down.

"Turn your face away," Leo whispered to him from the corner of his mouth and knew in an instance the young man down there looked at him questioningly. "Just do it!"

Leo didn't take his eyes away from his aggressors, but he knew the stranger did as he was told. And even though he wasn't sure if anyone would still see it wasn't a woman lying on the floor, he had to dare it. Without any warning he took his arms down and started to scream down the streets.

"Help! Anyone! Please, my wife...she collapsed," he didn't believe his own words and sent a prayer up above someone would react before it was too late. "Please!"

Fortunately, when he looked around there were a couple of people running towards him.

"Oh my God, what happened?"

"Are they bothering you, Sir?"

"What happened here?"

Leo surely didn't expect that. Usually people didn't care much about anything, but as soon as a couple gets attacked they seemed to notice immediately. So his only choice was to keep playing along.

"They threatened her," he knelt down next to the stranger and softly touched his shoulders, while pointing at the men in front of him. "Please, they just won't let her go. She fainted and still they wouldn't stop... Please! Think about the baby!"

A gasp ran through the crowd around them.

"She's pregnant?"

"They pushed her."

"Did they do that? How horrible!"

The three guys in front of him looked around terrified and finally backed away a little.

"We...Don't believe him," the first one said. "This abomination ain't his wife, for God's sake..."

Leo listened to the crowd throwing insults and accusations at them, while they tried to defend themselves. It wouldn't take long though until someone found out. He had to hurry. He bent over to the boy while still staring straight ahead, making sure it was only him who'd hear his whisper.

"Can you run?"

From the corners of his eyes he saw the boy nodding through his arms, which still covered his head perfectly.

"Listen," The second man in front of them roared all of a sudden, causing the crowd to shut up for a second.

"This," he pointed at Leo and the boy. "This ain't no woman! Take a closer look. How long do you want to tolerate these sickos dancing around the streets, I ask you?"

The crowd murmured. And suddenly the more daring of them stepped a little closer. Leo's heart hammered against his chest. He held his breath. They were too close. Way too close. Just a little more and they'd find out...

"Now!" he screamed, pulling the boy up to his feet.

To his surprise he was much taller than Leo was and although his body looked shattered and must hurt badly, he moved quicker than anyone he had ever seen before. They ran next to each other, forcing their way through the crowd without thinking whom they were pushing aside or making fall. All they had in mind was not stopping until they were safe and sound. Leo knew the men were following them. He heard their screams and he heard the surprised crowd; like a hiccup in the constant rattle of the city. But he didn't dare to turn. He looked straight ahead and ran as fast as his feet could carry him.

"This way," he heard the stranger next to him. He felt him grabbing his sleeve and the next moment, Leo was finding himself in yet another alley. The boy was quick. Very quick to be exact, which was amazing since he wore high-heels. It was hard to catch up, but Leo knew perfectly well, they'd most likely kill him if he stopped now. His lungs hurt. And after a while he wasn't even sure if they were still following them or not. His unknown friend on he other hand kept dragging him through the city; grabbing after his arm whenever Leo would tend to fall behind.

He couldn't even remember how many turns and small lanes they'd taken by now. All Leo knew for sure was, that he had no idea anymore where they were. Only their footsteps on the stony streets were to be heard.

And just when his feet didn't seem to wanting to carry him any longer, they stopped.

Leo bent forward and leaned his arms to his knees to catch his breath again. He dared to peek behind but there was no sign of any of their pursuers anymore. He moaned out of breath and let his head fall again. His hair fell into his face and he honestly couldn't remember the last time he'd felt that alive all of a sudden. Quietly he started to laugh as he slowly raised his body again.

"Thank you," he said, still breathing deeply.

The strange boy stood only a few inches away from him and was also breathing hastily. He seemed to be around Leo's age. And just now Leo noticed how much taller he really was. He had to lift his head slightly to look into his face, which now that he wasn't whimpering on the ground looked very defined and fine featured despite all the bruises and a deep cut right above his left eyebrow. His dark hair fell in small curls into his face and on his shoulders. The long Make-up lines were still running down his face, but the little pearls of sweat made them disappear slowly. His body was rather slender though and even though his yellow skirt was ripped, he still wore colorful tights underneath it to cover his long thin thighs. A dotted blouse was tied to a know on his waist and a bright green scarf hang loosely around his neck. He smiled too and reached out his hand in Leo's direction.

"I have to thank you," he said and Leo was surprised how tender and pleasant his voice sounded although it probably was a little deeper than the tone he chose to speak in. "Not many people would do something like that."

"Sad though," Leo replied, shaking his hand. "I hope they didn't damage too much."

He shrugged. "Nothing I'm not used to. The police does this every other day."

"They do?"

He nodded. "Time's are shitty. Thank God there are some people not having lost their minds."

Their eyes met again and both smiled at each other. It was then Leo knew, he had done the right thing.

"I'm Leo," he grinned at him.

"Nice name. Lawrence!" the boy didn't take his eyes off of him and never once lost his smile. "Friends call me Clara though."

Whatever people feared in them Leo would never understand. Clara was clearly a very nice person to be around. And actually, if it wasn't for the face no one would instantly notice he wasn't a woman. On the contrary he was pretty somehow. In a very different way than what he'd seen before. Roger used to wear dresses from time to time too but it was no comparison to Clara.

"What were you doing there anyway?" Leo asked. "I mean walking around like that might not be the best idea. At least not in that part of the city."

"I don't think that should be a problem," Clara answered.

"Well, no. I didn't mean...," Leo started quickly, but was cut off by him.

"Ah but you see, this is me," Clara pointed at himself. "And I don't fucking care what they think. Even if it means I have to wipe away my own blood every second day."

Leo nodded. He understood perfectly. It was an attitude he knew too well himself and all of a sudden he strangely felt like talking to a mirror.

"I hope you don't get this wrong, Leo," Clara spoke again. "But why exactly did you help me? You could have spared yourself a lot of trouble just ignoring it as anybody else does."

"Because it's just wrong," Leo fired away. "I can't believe people really act like that and I've witnessed it way too long now. It's enough. And if no one will do anything about it..."

"Yeah you're damn right. No one will!" the tall drag interrupted him. "Not even our own people. It's either the powerlessness in the face of people fearing anything that's different or their own fear something will happen to them. That's why it strikes me even harder that it's one of us who dares to stand against them first."

Leo looked up at him in shock. Clara smiled at him, even though his eyes were piercing Leo. The pure echo of these words felt like a punch in the face. And within a mere breeze of the hot summer air, everything Leo had tried to put behind him was back. Every word, every look and every situation. He immediately thought of Carmen and Roger; of Diane and Pembroke and worst of all...of Max. And he could feel that deep pain crawling up his body again and instinctively crossed his arms in front of his chest and turned away.

"Are you not?" he heard Clara's voice.

Leo didn't answer. He didn't want to think about it. He didn't even want to be out here and he never again wanted to feel like that. It was like suffocating while seeing everyone around taking deep breaths.

"Hm, I see," Clara said again and Leo turned his gaze at him again. "No one knows, hm?"

"How do you know?" he asked shyly. What an odd situation. No one noticed. Never. Or so he always thought. But maybe it was written in his face. And another question crossed his mind. Had people always seen this in him? Or had he changed that much over the years he spent with Max? He wasn't sure.

"Oh please," Clara grinned. "Don't insult me. It's obvious."

"Is it?"

Clara nodded. "So, denial or hiding?"

Leo lowered his head, looking to the ground. "Hiding..."

He knew the man in front of him nodded and instantly hoped he wouldn't ask any more. He didn't feel like sharing his story with a perfect stranger, yet it felt strangely relieving to talk to someone who understood. Someone who didn't know him or Max or whatever happened. He even thought about telling a little more, when he felt a hand softly patting his shoulder. Leo looked up and his eyes met Clara's, who smiled. Not the smile strangers give each other on the streets whenever they were forced to share a few words but a compassionate and caring smile.

"Come with me," Clara said, taking Leo's hand again. "You need to free yourself from whatever's holding on to you."

Leo thought about it for a moment, until he kind of gave up his doubts. It couldn't hurt, could it? So, he let Clara pull him along softly and without really controlling it, his feet just went along.

….

It was hard to follow rehearsals that day.

Max was restless and try as he might he simply couldn't get his head clear and concentrate. Time didn't pass somehow and he kept staring at the date on the little pocket diary which lay open in front of him all day. The twenty-eighth of June it said. The bold written black letters seemed to mock him whenever he tried to turn away and always magically screamed for his attention, forcing him to look at them again every other minute.

"What are you planning?" Max thought.

Pembroke hadn't said much that morning, yet Max could feel his gaze on him every time he dared to move a bit. He tried his very best to act occupied.

Diane was watching him from the corners of her eyes and he knew that too. She hadn't dared to speak to him again after their talk the other day. And as hard as he tried until now he couldn't forget that look on her face. He knew these eyes and that shock that was literally punching him in the face without her having said one word. It was the same look Leo wore when he heard all those atrocities Max had bombarded him with.

He leaned his head to his hand. And again, he thought about Leo. Always Leo. This just wouldn't rest. He wondered if it really had been wise to tell Diane what he did. What if she couldn't shut up? But then again, she wasn't exactly the kind of person to let Leo run into his ruin. No, there were too many emotions involved. And even though she denied it, Max remembered her looks when she talked about his former partner. How desperate she had been, trying to set things right; to help him with all her might.

The idea of her having feelings for the one person that meant something to himself made him sick. But the worst thing was, he couldn't even blame her.

Max closed his eyes. Both his hands, leaned on his elbows, were holding his head now. He felt so tired. He tried to blind out the voices around him and the lights.

"Look at you," he thought. "Weeping about your own life, when it was yourself who brought this upon you."

He opened his eyes again a little shortly afterwards. He'd forgotten the reason why he didn't do that if he could avoid it. The images of that fateful day appeared in front of him whenever he would dare to exclude the world around him. He remembered it as if it had been only moments ago. The sixteenth of June. Bloomsday.

He turned his head a little to stare at that diary again and nearly started to laugh at the absurdity of it. How ironical. How cliched. And how unintended. The day he had met Leo for the first time about ten years ago was the exact same day he decided to abandon the most precious thing in his life.

Max noticed the tears about to welling up in his eyes again and quickly shook his head to forget about that little discovery. As fast as he could he turned the pages of the diary around.

"Hm," he heard a soft voice next to him, but didn't really care about whoever wanted something now. The more surprised he was when he found Diane standing next to him; her arms pressed closely to her body and carefully avoiding to look directly into his face. Max looked at her and simply waited for whatever she wanted this time.

"I...ugh...could I talk to you for a minute?" she asked almost not audible.

"Be my guest," Max replied almost as silently. He gestured towards the chair next to him in a minimalist way. But Diane just shook her head once.

"No. I mean...alone."

At first Max wondered why she suddenly talked to him again. But then he simply nodded and stood up as silent as it was possible. He didn't want to draw Pembroke's attention on the both of them. She turned without another look and Max just followed her.

She led the way behind the stage. They walked silently and neither of them said a word nor looked at each other more than a second whenever they turned or crossed yet another room, until Diane seemed to be satisfied of having wandered far enough. She looked around once or twice to make sure no one could eavesdrop on them. Then, she turned to Max again, which caused him to almost jump back a little. Her looks had changed. If he didn't know better, he'd have said she was angry with him.

"Listen," she started. "I thought about all you said. And I really think you shouldn't act like that."

Max blinked once or twice. Of all the things he'd expected, that wasn't on the list.

"What?" he asked a bit taken aback.

"You should stand behind him, now more than ever," she continued. "Hell, if all you told me is really true, you all should stay together. Leo and you as well as Roger and Carmen. This brings you nothing."

It took Max a moment to reply. He jeered shortly. "What do you know about that?"

He was about to turn his gaze away, but much to his surprise Diane took his chin with one hand and forced him to look her straight in the eyes again. He was so perplexed that moment, he didn't even fight it but stared at her with wide eyes.

"Don't you dare turn away from me," she continued. "I understand why you did what you did. I wasn't able that day, I admit. But I thought about it and you were right all along."

She let go of him and her voice turned back to a much softer tone.

"Whatever you said to him... What you were forced to do is understandable," she said. "But you cannot keep anyone safe by letting him stumble out there all alone."

"He's not alone," Max tried to stay calm, rubbing his chin. "He's got Roger and Carmen."

Diane shook her head. "They don't dare to stand up against this cruelty. I saw it. Heaven's, Carmen even denies to think about Pembroke might being the one behind all this. But you are right in one thing: They got each other. And Leo clearly understood what you were not able to."

"What do you mean?"

"He sticks to the ones he loves. That's the very reason he cared about them when you tried to hide every connection you ever had in fear something might happen to the one you love. But you see," she stopped shortly. "Your love contains everyone you care about. It's not just you and him. And once you'll get that into that head of yours, you'll find that there surely are other ways."

Max swallowed his first anger when he heard her words. They didn't take their eyes away from each other for another couple of minutes. Then, he sighed and shook his head slowly, turning to the small window in the room. But he didn't dare to move. The world outside appeared behind the bars of the transparent wall and once more Max felt more caged than ever before.

She was right. Strangely enough, he wasn't able to say anything against this.

But then again...

"He'll never forgive me," he whispered. "And as long as Pembroke's around, it is better for him to remain where he is."

"Which brings me to what I wanted to tell you," Diane spoke again, avoiding the topic. Max turned to face her. He noticed of course.

"I found out about Pembroke's son," she started anew. "It wasn't really easy, but I was able to find a few information."

"What?" Max didn't believe his ears. "How?"

"There are some people who still remembered the story from years ago. Pembroke stemmed himself against it, but the papers printed it anyway. Yet, he tried to make people forget he's ever had a son. Although he never said much about the incident. But apparently, you were right. The boy was one of them. The dresser worked for him already when it happened and he told me he heard them screaming at each other one day after a show. Pembroke kept his son away from his work a lot. He said the old man always seemed ashamed about him. So, I invested a little more. Pembroke's wife died in childbirth. So, it was him raising his son alone."

"Well, how could he have been able to hide him from the public with his name in the papers every other day?" Max asked disbelievingly.

Diane on the other hand shrugged. "I have no idea."

"Hm," Max thought about it. "So, he heard them screaming at each other? 'Bout what?"

"He said it sounded like his son was caught by him strolling around Christopher Street after nightfall. Pembroke forbid him to go there again and he wanted him to never mention it to anyone."

"Ha. Perfect," Max cheered. "So he's done it more than once? Well, he must have. According to that clipping he died there too. Which means Pembroke wanted no one to know his son was queer."

"Yes. So it would seem," Diane answered. "What exactly happened and how he died no one knew though. The ones who remembered only knew what was written in the papers."

"Did you find his name?" Max asked.

Again, she nodded. "Scott."

Max nodded. This was it. He could easily hold something against Pembroke if he knew that name. Everyone had a weak point somewhere. And he'd bet everything that was left over in his life, Pembroke's was his son. It wasn't even that special. The head of the most popular Anti-Gay movement in the city had had a homosexual son. If there was one thing that could bring him down, it was that little fact.

"Maybe this can stop him," Max thought, walking up and down slowly. "Scott Pembroke. So maybe the pure knowledge of him can stop him doing whatever he is up to."

"I've given this a good deal of thought too," Diane interrupted his thinking.

Max stopped. "What?"

"I'm coming with you," she said. "To that Inn."

"Like hell you are," Max laughed. He wouldn't let her come along. He had no idea what was gonna happen. Whether Pembroke planned something or simply spied on the people there again, it was too dangerous.

And he would ever admit it to Diane, but he knew Leo cared about her. Plus, even if this sounded weird, she was a woman. There was absolutely no way he could possibly allow something happening to her as well.

"I've made up my mind," she crossed her arms. "I won't let you go alone. Take me with you or I'll show up there anyway. You cannot stop me."

"No," Max stopped. "Do you have any idea what this will be like? What could possibly happen?"

"No, but neither have you," she replied dryly.

"Well forget about it," Max turned around, ready to leave. "This ain't your problem."

"Well, you've made it mine too by telling me what happened," she argued. "And now you're expecting me to close my eyes before it? I've got news for you. This ain't gonna happen. If he is the one threatening a friend, then someone has to stop him."

"Does Leo even know?" Max stopped. "Does he know you care that much?"

"I..."

He laughed. "I thought so. What do you expect? It doesn't matter to you at all if he is safe and sound where he is. With Roger and Carmen and all their freakin' mates. You should go there instead. Try to convince him he's better off with you. Try to stand by his side. But don't bring me in the situation of causing him more pain than I already have by letting something happen to you."

"What?" She didn't understand.

"Don't you see that?" Max sighed. He looked into her eyes and that desperate look was back in his eyes. "You're the one who can make this easier for him. It's as you said, he needs people around him. And obviously he's trusted you enough to tell you that much. So please. Don't let me do this again."

Diane looked at him in surprise. Then she smiled, causing Max to feel more confused than before.

"What?" he asked a lot quieter now.

"He was right!" she didn't lose her smile. "You are not at all as dark and moody as you appear."

Max jeered again, but this time out of uncertainty. Then he turned and marched towards the door again.

"And I think..."

Diane was quick. She stood behind him and gently put her hand on his shoulder to stop him.

He looked at her again. She just wouldn't give up. In a certain way he understood why Leo liked her.

"I think you care a lot more than you are showing," she said.

Max chose not to reply.

He thought about what to do now. If only he could make her understand.

But then, something crossed his mind. And maybe this was the only possibility there was. So, he sighed again.

"Okay alright," he said softly. "Come to my office this evening. We'll go together, but only if you are careful."

….

Clara had taken Leo into a rather old building on Christopher Street. It was a bit strange to be here, but Leo understood why this was the only place Clara could have taken him to. After all, there weren't many areas in New York where a drag could walk around freely. And there were plenty of other people, drags and queers alike. No one seemed to be bothered by Leo walking down that street too. Probably because Clara was beside him and he talked to him a lot. Or maybe because Leo indeed was more obvious than he thought. He tried hard to make out what it was, but ever since Clara noticed it that easily he wasn't sure anymore about how to act. But then again, this is what he'd always wanted. No more hiding.

They climbed up the steps of the stairway until they reached a shabby green wooden door.

Clara opened it without any hesitation and Leo seriously started to wonder whether he lived here. This didn't look like an apartment complex really, but then there were many doors and pictures on the walls and in a far corner he even spotted a clothesline in the middle of that corridor.

And even though all this appeared rather strange to him, he followed Clara inside.

It was only a small room and a small additional closet plus an old door frame leading to a tiny bathroom. The whole place looked pretty rotten and run-down. A mattress lay in the middle and a blanket carelessly rested on it. There were no signs of curtains or anything alike and Leo was able to see Clara had hung up some ragged coats over the windows to keep at least some light out. There was no furniture except for a small table and a chair, where he obviously kept all his colorful dresses and skirts and small tubes of make-up plus one bottle supposedly containing some kind of perfume. It was shaped like a diamond and stood out of all the rubbish around it. Not least because of the sunlight that still found its way around the coats and shone on it, making it sparkle brightly.

"Do you live here?" Leo asked a little confused. Everything around was an indication of his suggestion to be true and it made him feel shocked a little. He'd never imagined someone lived like that. But then again, he could be Clara as well. If it hadn't been for Carmen and Roger, he also would have nothing left.

"You can't be picky," Clara answered and threw his scarf on the pile of clothes on the chair. Then, with one elegant movement he pulled off that bloodstained blouse he wore and looked at the red spots with disgust. "Damn it. This goes into the garbage now."

Leo didn't dare to say anything. Clara seemed to notice his bias though and smiled.

"It was my favorite," he added. He let go of it again and Leo watched it falling to the ground. Leo lifted his head a little. Clara was standing in front of him with his bare chest and still smiled. The bruises on his chest and stomach looked even worse than those in his face and a cut on his back caught his attention quickly.

"Holy shit," Leo said, now moving closer and examining it. "You need someone to take care of that."

Clara jeered. "And pay that with what? Don't worry. It's not the first time something like that happened. It'll be gone in no time."

Leo looked at him again sincerely. "How can you take it just like that?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean this has got to stop!" he answered. "What kind of world is this where people have to hide because of who they are."

"You mean what they are," Clara corrected him. "We're a plague that came upon humanity, never forget that."

"I've heard that before," Leo shook his head in disbelief. "But fact is, if we don't stand up against it no one will."

At first Clara looked at him a little shocked, but his face soon melted into a handsome smile. He stepped a little closer and took Leo's face into his hands, leaning his forehead to Leo's, who had to look up to focus his eyes again.

"I envy your enthusiasm," he said. "But not everyone dares what you did today."

"If I can do it, everyone can," Leo answered without moving.

To his surprise Clara didn't lose his smile. He shook his head shortly and then bend forward a little more, pressing his lips to Leo's. It happened so suddenly, he didn't even have time to react in any way. But as soon as he realized it, his eyes grew bigger. Quickly, he struggled himself free, pushing Clara away and looking at him shocked.

"I'm sorry," Clara smiled. "Just needed to check if you are real."

"What?" Leo didn't understand.

"The last time we heard someone talking like that was when Scott Pembroke was still around," he said. "He was one of the first to tell people to fight this injustice."

"Pembroke?" Leo didn't trust his ears for a moment. "As in Arthur Pembroke?"

"The Broadway-guy?" Clara smiled. "So you have heard of him, hm? Why yes, his son was a great fighter of anything trying to cut something he called 'gay-rights' back these days."

"Wait, I don't understand," Leo said quickly. "He's had a son?"

Again, Clara nodded incidentally. He walked past Leo, grabbing a yellow shirt from his chair and gently pulling it over his body. He tied its ends to a knot in front of his stomach and turned to face Leo again.

"You've never heard of him?" he asked. "He was legendary."

Leo shook his head. He didn't believe it. This changed a lot. Everything Pembroke did or said made sense all of a sudden.

"What happened to him?"

"It was many years ago," Clara said and leaned to the window-frames, staring outside. "He had run away from home. As far as I know Pembroke Senior wasn't too good a father. And with a son turning out to rather be among us fairies than inherit that empire his Daddy built over the years it surely came more like a shock. I didn't know him personally. But that one night there was a fight. The police attacked a group of our people on this street, right there."

He pointed through the window down to the street. Leo stepped a little closer and pushed the coats away a little to look outside too. The street looked pretty harmonious in the sunlight. A few trees in the middle and a lot of colorful people, chatting and laughing. They stood here and there in little groups or sat on the stairs of yet another house, drinking from small bottles or simply watching another group. It gave the impression nothing bad could happen to them. They seemed to get along. All of them.

Leo's eyes wandered a little further. One of the buildings on the other side of the street wore a chain of electric lights, which were turned off during the day. A huge sign was attached to the wall and it wasn't hard to read the words on it.

"The Stonewall Inn?" he asked pretty unimpressed.

Again, Clara nodded.

"There were a lot of rumors that day about something might happening," he continued. "And in the evening the police crashed over us. It happens every other day, but it was different then. They were brutal, hitting everyone they could reach. It looked more like a cleaning than the usual ID-controls and chicanes they usually do. People said it was Pembroke, who incited it. He wanted Scott home. He shouldn't wander around at night and especially not with any of us. But his idea of a free life was different and he chose to live among us. From what I heard he was a normal young man. Not different from you or me."

Leo almost chuckled hearing that notion. He knew pretty well most people never described them as normal.

"But well, that day went wrong," Clara spoke again. "They've arrested a lot of our friends. And some said Pembroke was there too. I have never seen him though and I guess it's the same with every story. People add a lot to rise the suspense. Scott on the other hand stood against them. He tried to fight them and a lot of people followed him."

"So he was among those who got arrested?" Leo assumed.

"No," Clara shook his head and his eyes met Leo's again. "From what I heard a huge group of officers got him. And they are not exactly gentle when it comes to beating the shit out of a fag."

Leo's eyes grew bigger.

"So, they killed him?" His question was a mere whisper.

"We suppose so," Clara said. "No one ever fond a body. But there is no way he could have survived that without anyone noticing. And he has never been seen on Christopher Street again."

It took Leo quite some time to realize what Clara had just told him. To really let it sink in. So, there had been someone who dared to fight them. And he had failed. Maybe that's why no one dared to do anything. For a moment he wondered whether Carmen and Roger were familiar with that story too. It would explain why they were so determined there was nothing they could do and chose to stay inside their sanctuary for better or worse.

"But," Leo started and he knew Clara was looking at him again. "This had only been a few of us. If...if we stand together. I mean all of us combined, there might be a chance to change something."

"Give up Leo," the taller man laughed. "There are some trying to do it. But they never achieved more than weekly meetings and printed flyers. You'd need every single queer in town to achieve that."

"So, it is possible," Leo grinned at him.

Again, Clara had to laugh. He looked at the man in front of him for a long time.

"You never give up, do you?" he asked. "Well, I guess you should get to know the people you want to convince then."

"What?"

"Oh please," he said. "You don't exactly look like you've spent a lot of time on Christopher Street before. Come on!"

He marched towards the door, nodded towards the corridor again and held the door open for Leo.

….

"He is where?"

Carmen almost fell from his space on the couch, looking at Roger in disbelief. He could feel his own blood draining from his face. He noticed in an instance how unbelievably different he must look for Roger was already jumping by his side. As quick as he was able to Carmen freed himself from his arms though and stepped back.

"He's on Christopher Street?" he asked again without noticing how high-pitched his voice sounded all of a sudden. "What the hell is he doing there?"

"Carmen relax," Roger said as sympathetic as he could. "He just called. He's in the Stonewall. You know, that shabby old dump. All he asked was if we'd like to join him."

"What?"

"I guess he's trying to start living again," Roger added quickly.

"But why there?" Carmen almost screamed. "Why on Christopher Street? Why the hell not anywhere else? It's dangerous. He cannot..argh... What's gotten into him?"

"Relax," Roger said once more. "I know it's dangerous out there. But at least there are plenty of kindred people. Chances are very low something will happen to him there."

"Are you crazy, Rog?" Carmen asked. "The police roams that street every other day. They will find him."

"Then, why don't we go there and make sure nothing happens?" Roger asked and grinned at his partner. He knew perfectly well, Carmen hated that street and the locations there. But all the same he knew he won that little discussion the very same moment.

Carmen simply moaned angrily and then, without another word, followed Roger to the door.

….

Max stood on the huge french windows in his office. It was getting dimmer outside. He took a deep breath. Soon he would find out what Pembroke meant. He didn't even know why it made him that nervous all day, but he sensed something about whatever the old devil wanted to show him wasn't right at all. And the fact that he was still expecting Diane didn't make it any better.

And for the first time in a long while he somehow thought about Carmen and Roger. He wished he could talk to them and was astounded himself by thinking it. But actually, he had to admit it was true. They surely would have had an idea about what he should do. They always had after all. And they were a lot better in seeing through a masquerade the way Pembroke loved to play it. But he knew it was impossible. He was on his own now. And as hurtful as it was; as it had been all the time; he knew it was the only way to keep them away from Pembroke. Who knew maybe he was even able to convince Pembroke to stay away from them in any way. It was a chance.

He flinched when a shy knock on the door echoed through the silent room. He turned his head in its direction and for a moment dreaded to find Diane in front of it. He doubted his plan would succeed but had absolutely no idea what else to do.

He strutted to the door and took a deep breath before opening it.

Diane looked at him with her huge blue eyes and he simply nodded once before she entered the office. Quickly, he closed the door behind them.

Diane looked different in a way. Her blonde curls were tied together in a casual ponytail and she wore a long dark hooded jacket.

She looked at him determined and slowly took the hood off her head.

"Are you ready?" she asked in a cocky way.

Max held her stare for a moment with a blank face. Then he nodded.

"I need you to see something before we go," he said and passed her without another word. On the door frame to Max's former room he stopped and opened the door, turning to her again.

She didn't know what he wanted her to see but she figured it must be important. She followed him after a second and stopped beside him.

"Come on," he said, entering the room. He knew she was close. Quickly he switched on the lights and illuminated the pictures on the walls. It was overwhelming in a way. She's never seen so many frames and posters in one place. There were titles on the posters. So many plays she'd never seen. And then there were photographs. Literally tons of them. A large part of them showed Leo as well as Max. Diane remembered some of the magazine clipping from some years ago too.

One picture caught her attention though. A small frame showing only Leo. He looked different on it. Younger of course, but also his hair was a little shorter and he didn't look like a producer at all. He wore a shy smile in the corner of his mind and his eyes were turned to the ground. A bluish gray suit and a mouse-gray coat covered him and she was able to detect a little blush on his cheeks. It looked almost as though he was embarrassed to be photographed.

Diane had to smile seeing it. She turned to look at Max, who stood a few inches behind her with his eyes closed. He looked sad though. And immediately Diane felt sorry for him somehow. He'd been blocking all of this out. She knew that now. It must be painful to see these memories on the walls again.

"He looks so different here," she said softly, trying to sound as though she didn't notice.

Max opened his eyes again and nodded.

"It's been taken ten years ago," he said without taking his eyes away from the old photograph as well. "We had just met and he had agreed to work with me on 'Springtime for Hitler'."

"That Comedy?" she asked amazed. "You...you just met?"

Max nodded. "He was an accountant before he became a producer. That's why he looks different."

"It's not just the outfit," she interrupted him. "It's his whole appearance. Just look at his eyes. He seems shy. Almost as if he never really trusted anyone."

Once more, Max nodded.

"Until you've changed it," she said, turning around to him. Their eyes met.

"And disappointed him again," Max added quietly.

"You did it for a good reason," she smiled at him and witnessed Max trying to hide how his mouth lifted to a weakish smile as well.

"I want you to have it," he said, pointing slightly at the picture.

Her eyes grew wide. She looked at him in amazement and didn't ask anything for a couple of seconds. It was only when she saw his eyes again and swallowed for a moment, she finally felt able to reply anything.

"You...You're giving it to me?" she asked. "Why?"

Max didn't move but looked into her eyes.

"Because he needs you," he almost whispered. "And I want you to remember how much he had accepted in his life to be who he is now."

"Well, you could...," she started but Max cut her off, shaking his head.

"Diane, we've been through this before," he said. "What I have done is inexcusable. I only played with him. I threw him out and deserted him when he needed me most. You said it yourself."

He sighed and leaned to the door frame, rubbing his eyes with one hand.

"And I know this is only a disguise," she replied, causing him to look up again. "I still think you shouldn't have done that but I know why you did. After seeing all this," she pointed around. "I completely understand. You loved him so much, you even put the pain of living without him first instead of leaving him in danger. If that's not love I don't know what it is."

Max didn't reply.

"The only thing I don't understand is why I need to remember what he's achieved," she said.

Max looked at her again while still leaning in the door frame. The light from the office made almost only his silhouette visible.

"Leo needs someone to be there for him," he answered calmly. "Someone other than Carmen and Roger. He needs someone who knows what he's been through and understands. And I believe you are the one to give him exactly that."

"What?"

"I don't know what is going to happen," Max said. His tone had changed. Diane almost shivered listening to him. "And maybe I won't be able to do anything. But you will get the chance. Believe me, he will talk to you again and with that picture you will never forget what it takes to make everything you ever wished for come true. And then...I really hope you will forgive me."

Diane blinked once or twice. She mouthed a silent "What the..." until she suddenly realized what he was up to.

"No..NO!" she screamed and jumped in Max's direction, but he was much faster. He stepped outside the room in the blink of a moment and slammed the door shut. She heard the lock turn before her full body rammed the door with a loud bang. In no time at all she got up again and hammered against the wooden door with both her fists.

"You cannot do this," she screamed. "Max! MAX! God damn it! Please, don't do this!"

She tried to turn the doorknob but it was no use. She was trapped.

"I'm sorry," Max whispered, still standing in front of it. "Please, I cannot let anything happen to you."

Thus, he turned and went out of the office, switching the lights off and closing the door behind him.

….

Pembroke didn't seem surprised as Max approached him. He stood outside his dark limousine near Christopher Street and wore a smile that made him look even more devilish. He wore a dark coat as well as Max did. He found it more inconspicuous than running around in a white shirt, especially since he knew the road would lead to Christopher Street and he was well aware they would stand out.

"I knew you would come," Pembroke said delightedly.

"Did I have a choice?" Max asked.

Pembroke chuckled.

"You are ready that's why you came," he replied. "I guess a little curiosity swings in there too."

Max tried hard not to let his nervousness show. He still feared this was not about spying on someone, but after all Pembroke was alone.

They walked silently beside each other until the lights of Christopher Street illuminated the environment and turned it into an almost day-like illusion. The laughter and talk of people was clearly to be heard and music played clearly along the street. When they arrived there, it felt like entering the land of Oz in a way. Colorful lights and posters were literally everywhere and flags, which were attached to many windows waved in the warm wind of night. On every corner another music played and people hardly payed attention to them as they casually strolled down the street. From time to time one or two of the boys and the fancy drags there would turn their heads as they passed. There were people kissing on the streets or simply sitting together, talking. You could hear the noise of parties from every other building and Max found it highly fascinating. He'd never really been here after nightfall and it felt indeed like a whole new world.

He started to wonder if Carmen and Roger spent time here too. After all this looked just like the place they both would enjoy. But as hard as he tried he couldn't remember any of them ever mentioned it before. Well, at least Roger never did. He'd never really talked to Carmen about any of that.

"We're there," Pembroke's old voice cut through his thoughts.

Max stopped as he did, looking up. The Stonewall lay directly in front of them. A shabby old building and, from what he heard, not the best location to party all night. A small crowd of people, men and women alike stood in front of it, not caring about the bottles of obviously alcoholic drinks in their hands. They held them without hiding them behind paper bags or even behind their bodies. They drank and smoked without hesitation.

It wasn't as easy to get in there as far as Max could see. They either were there every night or had to pay the doormen. Max had heard about other ways to get in though too. But he couldn't tell whether that was real or not.

"What are we doing here?" he asked Pembroke after a while.

"We're waiting," Pembroke answered dryly.

"For what?"

Pembroke turned his head and nodded down at the street, grinning. When Max followed his gaze he saw a couple of cars arriving in the street too. They parked around the old Inn and about twenty men dressed in black got out of them. They quickly surrounded the Stonewall and everyone around them was pushed away harshly. No need to say they weren't exactly prudish in using their truncheons whenever someone answered on a too cocky way or just wouldn't step aside. Max flinched each time another one of the boys got to feel it.

Then suddenly they stopped, although they were almost at the huge black doors. One of the disguised officers, a rather short guy with a grumpy look in his fat face, turned and looked directly over to them. Max's eyes wandered to Pembroke. The old man didn't move. He just stared back at him.

A shudder ran down his spine when suddenly he nodded to that fat dwarf. He answered the nod and in the fraction of a second they entered the Stonewall brutally.

Max was shocked. He could see the bigger picture. It was all so clear now. That's what Pembroke meant by 'cleaning'. He knew what he was up to...

~To be continued~


	12. The riot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This chapter was incredibly hard for me, but I am kind of satisfied with how it turned out.
> 
> I hope you think so too. Feedback is always welcome.
> 
> Anyway, Enjoy. Really hope, you like it.

Diane sat in he middle of the room, trying to calm herself.

He had locked her in. She'd never thought he would dare and now she desperately tried to find a way out. It would be easy to leave the office once she found a way out of this god damn room. But nothing seemed to work. She looked around. She tried the window of course, but there was nothing to step on outside and the office was on the sixth floor of the building. There was no fire escape or gutter to climb down on and it was way too high to risk a jump.

She had tried to run down the door several times now and only paused because her shoulder ached terribly by now. This either was the most solid door known to mankind or Max had blocked it with a chair or something. She half expected him to, although she hadn't heard him doing it.

No, she simply needed something to separate the bolt from the lock and everything would be fine. Unfortunately, she couldn't find anything like robust enough to accomplish that. She'd tried various pictures and bills she could find, even very flat frames. But nothing.

Her eyes wandered around the room. If only she could think of something.

Her gaze fell upon the picture of Leo which Max had given her.

If all that he told her was true and by now she was convinced he didn't lie, she simply needed to find a way to help them. Even if she had to go so far as to do exactly what Max had told her to. She had been thinking about it too. It sounded so much as if Max expected something happen to him. It made no sense at all though, but then she always had to remind herself she didn't really know anything about him. And what was that about a car-accident he mentioned? Maybe he was just being careful.

She looked at the picture again. The lights of the city which cheated their way through the windows reflected in the glass of the frame.

She almost jumped up seeing this. This was it. Perfect. Exactly what she needed.

Quickly she took the frame off the ground and looked at it again. Then without hesitation she threw it against a large chest standing next to the door. She heard the glass crack and the splinter of some loose pieces of it on the floor.

Quickly she took the photo out of the shambles and careful folded it to put it in the inside of her jacket. Then she headed for a large piece of glass and payed attention not to cut herself lifting it.

"That'll do," she cheered and moved towards the door, praying it wouldn't be too large still.

She placed it in the gap between door and frame and felt her heart jumping for joy when it fitted perfectly. Slowly and with extreme caution she moved it down until she felt the resistance of the bar that locked the door. She tried to turn the glass a little, but it appeared to be more difficult than she'd expected. It slipped off each time she got closer to the lock.

"Okay, stay calm," she told herself and tried it again.

Then suddenly, she felt the bar moving and with a loud click the lock sprang back.

"Yes!" She nearly screamed with joy. Letting go of the piece of glass she turned the doorknob as quick as possible. Nothing had ever felt as good as feeling that door opening. Luckily Max hadn't thought about putting something in front of it.

She put on the hood of her jacket again and without thinking about it anymore, she ran out of the office, slumming the door shut behind her.

….

"So, tell me about him," Clara said, sitting down next to Leo and handing him a drink.

Leo must have looked at him very funnily, for he immediately started to chuckle. It was fun to see how strange the young guy obviously felt, sitting in that Inn. He looked around a great deal, not daring to say anything.

The place was divided into two rooms. The first and most obvious one right behind the entrance was filled with men and women of any kind and looks. They stood side by side and chatted or danced. After the first barricade of getting in and convincing Leo not to use his real name while registering (a much safer way not to get recognized, especially since a lot of people used fake ID's due to the many police controls), Clara had blamed it on the run-down image of the Stonewall at first.

But they'd headed straight to the second room in the back of the counter. And in a way it seemed to shock Leo even more, for it was filled with drag-queens of any kind, guys in playful costumes and women looking like men. He was the conspicuous one here obviously as not many 'normal' looking people spent their time in this part of the Inn. Clara had explained to him this was necessary in case someone came in here, who didn't need to see everything at first sight. After all, it was illegal for men to dress up like women and vice versa.

Only hesitantly Leo had followed Clara into a corner that looked more like an apposition of benches in an old sailor's pub than anything else and he'd looked around without saying a word while Clara had fixed them a drink. People stared of course. Mainly, because no one had ever seen Leo here; a fact Clara had expected. But he noticed the looks on the faces of the men around too. Firstly, because he hardly brought anyone with him and secondly because Leo was in fact a handsome young guy and caught the attention of many without even noticing it. Once or twice someone had tried to talk to him but he literally had ducked away trying to follow Clara until they had sat down in said corner.

"I'm guessing," Clara said, while Leo still looked at him questioningly. "You said you were hiding what you are and you backed away when I kissed you. Not exactly the kind of behavior one would expect. So, what happened?"

"I..uh...well," Leo stuttered and noticed a blush on his face.

"Unless you don't want to," Clara smiled. "Sometimes it's hard to speak about someone who disappointed you."

"What makes you think...," Leo started, but of course Clara was much quicker again.

"Leo, please!" He grinned. "I've been through all this as well. And if you really wanted to live freely, you'd just do it. Hiding means living up to the expectations of others or trying to forget something that could have become a problem in this society. We all have to arrange with it in a way or another."

"Or maybe it's something else you don't think about," Leo answered, avoiding his eyes.

"You never denied it though," Clara said and took a sip.

"I...I can't deny it," Leo answered hesitantly. He stared at his drink, thinking about how to put it. "I've been with a man. For a long time even. That's true. But..."

"But you're not sure?" Clara stared at him again. Leo could feel his eyes on him without looking up.

Then he shook his head.

"He..he was my life," he answered silently.

"Hm, I see," Clara answered, slowly putting his glass down. "How long have you been together?"

"Ten years," Leo answered.

"Then it must have been something serious," Clara said softly and for the first time, Leo lifted his head to look at him.

"I thought so too," Leo's face was blank though. No smile. No dreamy eyes as he talked about him. Clara noticed immediately. As did Leo, for he quickly lowered his head again. "I guess it was my fault though. I gave myself to an illusion I thought to be true."

"After ten years?"

"I noticed too late what this was. About a year ago," Leo explained. "But then, well... When things got more dangerous he decided to get rid of a little 'pastime'."

"Did he say that?" Clara asked, now looking a little shocked. Much to his surprise Leo nodded. "You loved him, didn't you? Of course you did. I can see it. You still do."

Leo didn't respond.

"Was it the first time?"

"I was married before," he said. "To a woman. And he ruined it."

"He split you up?" Clara asked.

"I don't know. He said so, but to be honest I don't know what to believe anymore."

"How can you be sure he ruined it then?"

Leo hesitated for quite a while. He felt tired thinking about it. He'd gone through any possible scenario and had asked himself the same questions over and over again with no conclusion at all. It felt so surreal; so far away in a way and yet Max's words echoed inside of him as though he was standing in front of him right now.

"I guess," Leo started. "If he was telling the truth he ruined it in more ways than I imagined. Because he made me realize how senseless it had been. And how wrong I had been marrying her. And… and how much I was able to love another person. How happy I could be... even if it meant facing everything society was against. How much I was able to change, not least in my own thinking, agreeing to myself I loved a man and didn't care at all."

Clara looked as though he couldn't believe it. A story like that was new somehow. He'd heard a lot of things that happened to various people over the years and each one of them was unique in its own way. But he must admit he'd never heard of anyone literally playing with another for that long a time. If he had paid him it would have been more common. But it sounded very much as though Leo had been in a real relationship.

"Damn it buddy," he said after a while. "That sounds rough."

Leo smiled at him. He saw a smile on Clara's face as well as their eyes met once again. And suddenly there was a deep sympathy for the stranger he met in the streets arising inside of him. Maybe meeting him had been a little sign meant to lead Leo in the direction he needed to go. And Clara seemed to sense it as well.

"So what now?" he asked.

Leo shrugged slightly and shook his head. "If only I knew..."

"Do you think this is what you wanna be? One of us?" he asked.

"I don't know," Leo answered. "It was all about him. Maybe I'm not one of you. I can't say. He was the only one I changed for."

"Well, maybe it's time for someone new then," Clara responded softly. "All you need to decide is whether you stay on that path or go back to who you were."

Leo knew. He'd been thinking about it for a while now. And as much as he tried to deny it at first, he knew there was no way back. Max abandoned him. He never wanted to see him again. And worst of all Leo was certain he meant it. He was way to familiar with Max's decisions, which lasted forever once they were set. He didn't even know if he really wanted him back, for as much as it hurt not being with him anymore, he was devastated even more thinking about the horrendous things Max had said to him.

And once more he drifted away; lost in his own thoughts. The music played in the distance and all the people around him were forgotten. Until he felt a hand grabbing his own, cutting through that veil of thoughts that seemingly concealed his perception.

"Well, you can breathe again," Clara spoke gently. "No one will judge you here. Believe me."

Leo was about to whisper a shy 'Thank you', but was interrupted by a loud groan running through the crowd as the gloomy dark atmosphere was illuminated by the bright neon lights that went on all of a sudden, dipping the old place in a cold grayish-blue light. Leo as well as Clara looked up. The light almost blinded them. The music stopped and everyone was quickly moving to the walls, lining up there. Most of them tried to hide their heads. Others lifted their skirts playfully as if this was just a game. And Leo didn't get what this was about at first.

"Not again," he heard Clara say, who got up immediately. "It's a raid."

"What?"

Leo looked around in panic. He'd heard of it. But he never wanted to be part of it. He tried to stay calm by telling himself they had nothing against him. They'd check his name and then he would be able to go. But then he looked at Clara and the scars on his body flashed in front of his eyes, causing him to almost stop breathing. His hands shook. And he could feel pearls of sweat appearing on his forehead.

Whatever he told himself wasn't true. Those scars were reality. A huge part of the people in here would probably get to feel what it meant to live like that. This was what was most likely to happen. It was foolish to think he could simply walk outside as if he had nothing to do with it. Heck, he was standing there in the middle of the Stonewall between hundreds of guys dressed as women and just because he didn't look like them, didn't mean anyone would buy it.

He moved a little closer to Clara and without thinking about it he took his hand. It felt safer somehow.

They stood close together and Clara softly put his arms around Leo, even though his gaze was turned to the entrance door and he looked worried.

"Don't worry," he whispered. "Nothing's gonna happen to you."

….

Pembroke looked at Max, who still stared at the pub in disbelief.

The officers had vanished inside and soon escorted the first screaming guests outside. All of them in handcuffs. Some used the chance to slip through the door and they ran as fast as they could to get away.

A small crowd of people stood around the scenery and their murmur grew louder witnessing what the officers did. They surely were used to pictures like that but Max was able to hear their outrage about the whole situation. "Not again!", "Unfair" and "They're doing this for fun" were only a few of the sentence fragments he was able to hear.

"They deserved what they got," Pembroke said, noticing Max's look. "All of them. We should do it with every last establishment in town and soon, that problem will be under control again."

"It's wrong!" Max replied, earning a rather furious look from the old man.

"Excuse me?" he turned to him.

"They don't have anything left but this dump," he said. "They don't run around the city. What is your problem with them? Why can't you just let them be?"

"They don't deserve anything," Pembroke answered angrily, now almost piercing Max with his eyes. "They shouldn't even be here! It's a shame they are. They shouldn't walk around ruining decent people and spreading that sickness!"

Max's breath became faster. He looked around.

The noise got louder.

More and more people gathered around. The small crowd grew to be a fair accumulation of people and somehow they just wouldn't stop. The murmur became a wall of protest. But the officers didn't stop dragging people outside the Inn. The first even started to fight them.

One woman was screaming. She tried to escape the grip of the huge man holding her.

"You cannot do this," her voice echoed through the crowd. "Let go! This ain't fair!"

She wriggled and somehow managed to struggle out of the arms of him. The crowd cheered. She tried to run, but was caught quickly again. Tears were running down her face as she desperately kicked around. The officer wasn't merciful though. He didn't think twice and pulled out his club.

When she fell to the ground a wave of groans run through the crowd again.

"What the hell is this about?" Max whirled around facing Pembroke once more.

"It's a lesson they need to learn," he answered. "They brought it upon themselves."

"It's not about them, is it?" Max remained steadfast. "It's about Scott. All of this. Am I right?"

Pembroke's eyes widened and his look changed. It almost appeared he didn't have any blood left in his face and could be easily compared to a skull. It gave Max goosebumps to see it.

"How do you know about Scott?" his cold voice whispered.

But Max wasn't able to answer.

The voices around them got so loud, both of them turned around again. The whole scenario had changed. The enormous mass of people was hard to believe. And still more and more people joined them. They screamed and protested. It seemed like a huge protest one could easily see these days, but never before had anyone seen so many queers standing together and fighting something that had become normal over the years.

"ENOUGH!" someone yelled and the crowd agreed in a loud roar. "STAY TOGETHER!"

Max couldn't make out who it was, but he noticed the people were so outraged by now, it was easy to lead them into anything. It was scary in a way. He felt a fear inside he'd never experienced before. All around them were people. It wouldn't be easy to escape and it was only a matter of time until someone would notice Pembroke standing there.

He heard a crash only seconds later.

Someone had thrown a huge brick-stone at the building and it hit one of the windows, which shattered in a million pieces. The officers around flinched in fear. No one seemed to believe what had just happened. The crowd screamed and more and more objects were thrown at them. The crowd gave the image of a raging stampede and now moved towards them quickly. The policemen stood there petrified for a moment and didn't dare to try regaining control at all. And when the crowd was a mere inch away from them they fled inside the Stonewall; the only place that suddenly seemed secure for them.

The people rammed the doors and pressed themselves against them, but they appeared to have blocked them from inside as fast as they could. But it was easy to see the doors wouldn't hold them forever. They almost cracked underneath their combined weight already.

A few people ignited flags and posters with alcoholic liquids and threw it at the old building. Soon, the window shutters the inmates of the Stonewall had managed to close glowed bright orange with flames and the crowd cheered with everything that hit the walls.

And then the crowd went berserk.

….

Roger literally had to drag Carmen with him. He walked a few steps behind him and looked pretty scared. Roger seriously wondered what was wrong with him. Normally it was no big deal for him to walk around the city at night and he was usually the one who tried to get Roger outside. But now, it seemed like trying to comfort a weeping child in a way.

Carmen even looked different; a fact which confused Roger most of all. Instead of his normal appearance in an elegant black coat or jacket and his chains, he chose a normal gray shirt for once and a dark gray hood. He had pulled it over his head and carefully paid attention it covered his face as much as possible. What the hell was he so damn afraid of? Roger knew he didn't like Christopher Street but he never knew exactly why.

He wanted to ask, but was distracted by a deafening noise the closer they came towards the street.

"Do you hear that?" he asked.

Carmen stopped and looked in the same direction, nodding slightly.

"Sounds like people," he said hesitantly and Roger had never seen his eyes looking more fearful.

"It's there," the taller man replied. "Come on."

He grabbed Carmen by his sleeve and started to run towards the illuminated corner.

Both of them stopped in shock though as they reached it and were able to see what was happening in front of the Stonewall. All of Christopher Street was full with people. And they weren't at all partying for that matter.

Both of them stood petrified. This was like a demonstration. A riot.

Thousands of people were throwing things, screaming all kind of insults at someone they weren't able to make out.

Roger looked at Carmen, who immediately pulled his hood closer to his face.

"I told you," he whispered. "And Leo's in there somewhere."

"Come on," Roger needed to see what was going on. Plus Carmen was completely right. Leo was in there. They couldn't just turn their backs on whatever was happening here.

They shoveled their way through the raging crowd, always careful nothing hit them. But they obviously were recognized quickly as one of their kind by everyone around them and no one dared to confuse them with normal passengers. Although everyone joining their screams was welcome. Or so it would seem.

They fought to the top of the crowd until they were able to see the huge black doors of the Stonewall. Carmen held his head low all the time, avoiding to look into anyone's eyes, whereas Roger tried to get what had happened there.

"It was another raid," he told Carmen after a moment of listening to them. "Apparently, they managed to lock some of us in there. The officers arrest one after the other once they are able to take them outside."

Carmen didn't really look up. "Can we get out of sight and search for Leo then?"

"He would love that," Roger said.

"Love it?" it was hard to scream against the crowd and he didn't really think he understood his partner correctly.

"Yes," Roger said. "He wanted all of us to stand together. To finally face this injustice. And suddenly it happens. He'd be delighted."

"You were the one who said it's too dangerous," Carmen argued.

"I'm here," Roger replied. "Nothing's gonna happen to you. But don't you see? This is our chance. It's this moment."

Carmen looked up to him and immediately regretted it.

One of the guys around them started to stare at him in the middle of yells and flying objects. He didn't waste a second to come closer and carefully tapped Carmen on the shoulder.

"Hey pal," he said cheerfully. "Haven't I seen you before?"

Carmen quickly lowered his head. "I doubt that."

Roger noticed of course and quickly stepped between them.

"Excuse me," he said. "You've surely mistaken him for someone else."

"Maybe you're right," the guy said, still staring at Carmen. "I'm sorry, pal."

Carmen quickly waved his hand at him and hoped he would just turn his back on him now.

But all of them raised their heads as the crowd in front of them started to yell at an officer obviously trying to control a lesbian he held in his arms. She was kicking around and hit her more than once with his remaining arm in the face, but it didn't seem to stop her at all.

"No. No. No," Roger said seeing it. "This has got to stop!"

Carmen didn't reply, but almost ducked away, looking to the ground instead. He couldn't see someone being treated like that and it was more than obvious he didn't feel too good standing in between the crowd, which started to throw objects at the officers in front of them.

"ENOUGH!" Someone yelled behind them.

"STAY TOGETHER," Roger joined that unknown person and seconds later the young man who spoke to Carmen just minutes ago threw a huge red brick-stone at the Inn. It hit one of the windows and crashed it.

The noise seemed to encourage the crowd even more. They cheered, but to Carmen it sounded more like a lion's roar.

More and more people were pressing their bodies forward and soon the huge living wave marched towards the remaining officers in front of the Stonewall.

They looked so scared. There was no getting away. So, they ran into the old Pub as fast as they could and barricaded the doors behind them.

"Roger!" Carmen yelled, but in the jostling crowd he had lost sight of him somehow. "ROGER!"

The people went more and me furious. They rammed the doors and Carmen could easily witness the first ones inflaming things and ignited the nightly sky by throwing them at the Inn as well.

It went out of control. Carmen ducked away quickly and struggled himself free. He must get out of that crowd. It was the only way of having a chance to get away. But it was hard to fight against a human current like that.

"Carmen!"

He whirled around.

Someone called him. He'd heard it clearly but wasn't really able to make out who it was. Too many faces were there around him. He turned his head quickly and scanned everyone close to him, until he saw someone waving at him. It was hard to make out who it was for people always passed him. But as the person came closer, he couldn't believe it.

Leo was running towards him. He literally fell into his arms the moment they reached one another.

"Oh thank God, you are alright," Carmen sighed. "We need to get out of here."

"Are you kidding?" Leo said, looking at him sincere. "This is exactly what must happen right now."

"Leo, don't you see what this is going to be? We don't need a war," Carmen replied, but quickly shut his mouth again, seeing his young friend wasn't alone. He eyed the handsome tall man next to him quickly.

Clara didn't say a word, but stared at him with wide eyes.

"Who is this?" Carmen asked.

"A friend. He helped me getting out of there," was Leo's short reply.

"You were in there?" Carmen asked in disbelief. Images of what might have happened sprung into his head and it made him dizzy only to imagine it.

"Yes, but when the lights turned on we managed to get out through a backdoor before they could lock it," Leo explained. Then he grabbed Carmen's shoulders with both his hands. "Listen, We have to do something. This is the one chance we got to end all of their terror."

"No Leo," Carmen said, quickly putting his hand on the younger man's face. "This will cause more damage than you think. We need to get out of here."

But Leo shook his head. "Please, let me do this. I need to. For me. And you. And all of them. I don't want any of you living with this kind of treatment any longer."

"This won't bring him back, God damn it!" Carmen now screamed at him, looking as though he was about to cry any moment. If only he could make him understand. But Leo simply stared back. Then he stepped away a little.

"I'm sorry," Carmen added quickly. "I didn't mean to..."

"I know," Leo said. "But it doesn't change anything."

Carmen took a deep breath and slowly let go of Leo's arms. He nodded once.

"Alright," he spoke very quietly. "But please, promise me you'll be careful."

"I will be," Leo smiled.

"I'll wait here," Carmen said silently.

Another nod from Leo and he turned, ready to leave. Clara on the other hand didn't move. He still stared at Carmen and stretched his hand in his direction.

"It was an honor to meet you," he said, shaking Carmen's hand eagerly, who looked at him puzzled. Then he turned too and nodded towards Leo before both of them ran into the crowd again.

"What was that about?" Leo asked him when they didn't see Carmen anymore.

Clara laughed shortly. "Your friend just reminded me of someone, that's all."

….

Carmen looked after them for a moment.

"Please, be safe," he thought. It felt so strange. So familiar in a way. And seeing Leo running out of his sight felt more than wrong, but he knew for sure there was nothing he could have done. Leo had to do this, even if it was just to get his head clear. All he could do is keeping his promise and wait for him.

He looked around. Maybe if he climbed on something he would be able to see what was happening and maybe he even could keep an eye on his friend. It was even possible to find Roger in that crowd again, which he must admit would make him feel a lot better about this.

His eyes wandered. It was hard to make out anything because the crowd of people were standing everywhere, covering every last bit of a lookout.

He turned his head to the left, not prepared to find what he did though. He almost fell over in surprise and felt his eyes getting bigger.

Max!

This couldn't be. Carmen blinked once or twice, but there was no doubt about it. It was Max standing a little away on something that looked like a bench. And it hit the younger man even harder to find Arthur Pembroke standing next to him. The two of them seemed to witness everything that happened. A devilish grin was painted all over the face of the old man. Could this be? Max and him working together?

Carmen shook his head. No, there must be a logical reason why Max was with him after all. But suddenly, Carmen understood. He turned once more towards the crowd and back to Max and Pembroke.

"It was him," he said to himself in shock. "He did this!"

But why the hell was Max with him? He never thought the producer was able to do something like that. It shocked him deeply. What if Roger indeed had been right all the time? What if everything Max told him was nothing but a big disguise in the end?

He didn't know what to think anymore. But he knew he had to find out. So, slowly he moved closer towards them.

…

"Since when are you that compassionate about some fairies?" Pembroke asked Max, who still had his back turned towards them. "You let them go. You abandoned the ones you've worked with the moment I asked for it. And you even let that ridiculous partner of yours go."

"He has nothing to do with this," Max whirled around in anger.

"I KNOW WHAT HE IS," Pembroke screamed. "And I know you do too. Enough of all this talking around it. I know you think the same way or else you wouldn't have gotten rid of him as well."

"I AM NOT LIKE YOU," Max screamed back. "This is insane! I cannot imagine whatever made you believe I was in for that!"

Pembroke didn't answer. He just stared at him with his evil cold eyes.

Then he slowly pulled something out of his jacket. It took Max quite a moment to recognize it. The more shocking was it to find out he was pulling a gun, stretching his hand towards the crowd now.

The people had managed to open the doors of the Stonewall by now and it looked more like a brawl than a riot by now. The officers that had been trapped inside weren't in there anymore though. They came running around the building once more, accompanied by many more policemen, heavily armed, who marched down the street now. They must have climbed out of a window in the back of the Stonewall and somehow must have been able to call for help. It looked more like a military force marching towards the screaming people now.

"In that case I have to make you see," Pembroke finally said. "I am prepared though."

Max turned again and didn't believe what he was seeing. People were fighting with each other close to them and it didn't take him too long to make out who the tall guy was, on which Pembroke pointed his gun now.

Roger!

Max didn't know what he was doing here. He didn't even know why he hadn't seen him between the people before nor when he joined the crowd. But he immediately knew what Pembroke was up to.

"NO!" he screamed and jumped towards the old man. He was able to push his arm in another direction in the very moment Pembroke pulled the trigger. The bang of the gun was deafening. But luckily, with this kind of resistance Pembroke had had no chance to hit Roger as planned.

Max almost felt relieved, but felt a hurtful punch in his face the very next moment. The impact of that punch was so hard it made him fall to the ground. But it took him only a second to turn again, looking at the cause of it. Pembroke was much quicker though. He stood above him in no time, grabbing Max by his shirt and almost lifted him off the ground.

"I thought you were ready," he screamed and raised his hand which still held the gun. He hit him even harder with the handle of the gun on the other side of his head again. Max groaned.

"I thought you stood beside me," Pembroke said, letting go of him and causing him to crash to the ground rather harshly.

Max managed to steady himself with both his arms and breathed heavily. Small drops of blood shed on the floor and he quickly touched his forehead. His eyes widened even more when he lowered his hand again and found his fingertips red with blood. He could feel the warm liquid running down his face and suddenly felt the stinging pain of the wound Pembroke had caused right above his eyebrow.

He turned slowly.

"I never stood behind you," he started quietly, but his voice got louder. "And I never will. I swear to God I will fight this. You are the sick one here, not them!"

He could see Pembroke's chest rise and fall faster and faster and his face turned almost red with fury. He lifted his fist once more and Max ducked. He closed his eyes and awaited the next painful punch. But it didn't happen somehow.

"NO!"

Max knew that voice. He opened his eyes and whirled around again.

There was a person standing in front of him, almost like a barrier between Pembroke and himself. He spread out his arms wide and that movement made him lose his hood.

Max didn't believe it.

Carmen stared at Pembroke in a scowl without taking his arms down. And much to Max's surprise Pembroke seemed even more shocked. He wasn't able to take his eyes away from the young man, but then he didn't dare to move at all anymore. His arm was still up in the air and he almost looked like a statue for a moment.

But then, he lowered it slowly. His voice was quiet and more dangerous than ever before when he spoke again.

"Get out of the way," he said, never breaking eye-contact with Carmen.

He, on the other hand, didn't even think about moving a bit.

"No, please," he said. "This wasn't part of the deal!"

"Stand aside," Pembroke warned him once more.

"Everyone around me," Carmen said with a determined voice. "That was the only condition! And he is one of them!"

"For the last time...," Pembroke spoke again, now a little louder. Max sensed he was about to go berserk, yet immediately wondered what the heck they were talking about. Why did he stop in front of Carmen? He never seemed that hesitantly before.

"Get out of the way, Scott!" Pembroke said.

Max lifted his head. He didn't believe his ears. And for a moment he felt like falling. He teared open his eyes in shock. The noises around the three of them muffled and only them seemed to matter that second.

Carmen ignored him though. His eyes were still fixated on Pembroke.

"Everyone around me," he repeated. "You agreed on that!"

Their stare went on for an eternity. Or so it seemed. Neither of them said a word and Max didn't dare to move at all, but looked from one to the other.

But then, finally, Pembroke let his arms fall completely, looking calm for once. He closed his eyes for a moment, but replaced that blank face with the most evil grin he had ever accomplished.

"Very well," Pembroke spoke again, looking at Carmen in an almost demonic way. "One for the other!"

He snapped with his fingers once and Carmen as well as Max turned around again, looking at the scenery around them once more. Both of them had a frightened look on their faces. Neither of them knew what was going to happen. Until they understood.

They saw Roger still fighting with a few other guys and a couple of policemen. But the moment Pembroke snapped it felt like hundred more of them ran towards them. Some of them came running down the street behind Pembroke, others jumped out of the buildings nearby. And in the blink of any eye they jumped onto Roger, not caring about anyone else around him. It didn't even take more than a minute until he was led away in handcuffs, vanishing inside one of the many Police cars which left Christopher Street immediately.

Max didn't believe it. He stared after them, not really handling what had just happened. With Roger gone, everything he had tried had been in vain.

Someone teared him up to his feet again, ending his thoughts immediately.

"Come on," Carmen said into his face. "Get up. We have to get away. Quick!"

Max could hardly feel his feet, but let himself drag away by Carmen. Where ever they were running, he didn't know. That shock moments ago made him lose all sense of orientation. But Carmen just wouldn't let go of him and he didn't stop.

But then another thought shot through Max's head.

"Wait," he stopped, stemming himself against Carmen. "What was that about?"

"What? Max, we gotta go. Please," Carmen answered quickly and tried to keep him going.

"He called you Scott," Max looked at him still completely in shock. But more and more the picture got clearer to him. "He called you... It's you. Oh my God, it's you! You are his son!"

Carmen cut him off though. "Max please," he had tears in his eyes. "We gotta get going. Please! Let's find Leo and move on!"

"Leo?" Max's felt like having gotten another punch in the stomach hearing it. "He is here?"

Carmen nodded. "He's somewhere in this crowd."

"What? Why?" Max now grabbed his jacket, forcing him to look straight into his eyes. "You were supposed to keep him safe, God damn it!"

"Please, it wasn't our fault," Carmen said, looking desperate. "You know him. He just wouldn't listen to anything I said. We need to find him."

"Damn it!"

Max let go of him and nodded shortly. It was the first time both of they agreed on something without an argument and soon both of them were roaming the fighting crowd looking for the younger man. It even was the first time Max and Carmen worked as a unity. Two pairs of eyes working as one.

Max was desperate though. An unknown pain shot through his body and it didn't come from the wounds and bruises in his face. He didn't even feel the blood dripping down his face anymore. No, it was fear. The biggest fear ever. This had been the one situation he wanted to prevent Leo from in the first place. He didn't want to imagine what was very well possible. And he feared nothing more right now than finding him somewhere in the streets, defaced from the police or even worse.

"Please no," he kept on thinking.

But they didn't seem to find him anywhere. Too many people passed them. Even if Leo was around here somewhere it was impossible to find him. Max knew. And Carmen knew. But neither of them dared to speak about it. They just kept searching in a mad passion.

Max felt close to tears again. Until he finally heard Carmen's voice next to him.

"Max," he yelled. "There!"

Max turned and almost felt cheerful that moment. Leo was there. Right in front of him. He stood in a small group of people who seemed to talk rapidly about something. A drag stood next to him. They obviously argued about something. But then, the tall guy in a skirt pointed in three different direction and the group divided into three smaller ones. The first group ran into the west, whereas the second one turned east. Leo, the drag and another guy was left. They nodded at each other and were about to leave. They turned already. The air burned. Max felt a panic inside of him. It was now or never before it was too late.

"Leo!" he yelled and to his relief the younger man turned in surprise.

Their eyes met. Max felt as though he could cry that very moment, staring into his former partners eyes desperately. Leo didn't look less surprised. His eyes were wide open and his jaw dropped. Time stopped for a moment. It was almost as though the two of them were the only living creatures in New York right now.

But then, Leo's face changed. His expression turned to stone and without another blink he was about to turn his back on Max.

Another man approached Leo from behind though. Max saw him in the corner of his eyes. He saw him coming dangerously close, waving something long and supposedly heavy in his hands. A baseball-bat. He lifted it to gain momentum.

"No," Max noticed himself thinking in shock, before completely out of his mind he screamed on top of his voice: "LEO!"

Leo turned again but it was too late. He wasn't even halfway around when the wooden club hit him on the side of his head.

Time seemed to run in slow motion. The power of that stroke made Leo almost circle in mid-air and slowly he sank to his knees, collapsing to the street. His eyes were closed and slowly a red puddle of blood began to spread around him.

Max was petrified. This was a bad dream. He didn't even grasp what happened in front of his eyes that moment.

"NOOOO!" he heard himself screaming.

And seconds later he jumped towards his partner's lifeless body on the floor without really knowing what he did. His feet seemed to develop a life of their own. He had no idea what to do and he was was too shocked to think about anything. He couldn't breath. He heard his own blood pounding in his ears and felt his face getting wet from tears running down his face without him being able to control it. All he knew was, he needed to get there.

But Carmen jumped after him, grabbing his shoulder and holding him back.

"No," he heard him screaming. "Max! No! You can't do anything!"

Max didn't want to hear it. He didn't even recognize Carmen really. But he fought him with all his might. Carmen already hang on his body, trying to stop him, but nothing could stop Max right now. He struggled with everything he was able to.

"Max, please!" Carmen lifted his hand and slapped him across the face as hard as he could.

It was then Max awoke from that delirium somehow. He stared at Carmen with tears running down his face like waterfalls. Carmen didn't look any better. His eyes were wet as was his whole face too. But he kept staring at Max as hard he could.

"Please," he cried and his voice almost vanished. "We gotta get going!"

Max took a deep breath but wasn't able to answer anything. He looked up again.

A whole bunch of officers were running towards them. All of them were heavily armed and they had their clubs in their hands already, ready to use them.

Max took another breath. The crowd of them already covered Leo's body on the ground and it was hard to see him anymore. There were more of them coming from the left and the right as well.

Max closed his eyes for a short moment, feeling as though he was about to collapse any moment too. He heard Carmen's pleading. And the footsteps of the men approaching them, which sounded louder than anything else they've heard so far. It was as though a mighty wave was about to destroy them any moment.

But then, Max opened his eyes and nodded once. He cast one last look at the spot Leo had been and then turned and followed Carmen as fast as he could.

~To be continued~


	13. The past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Wow, thank you so much. I was blown away by how many reviews this story got. I feel honored so many of you read this. Thank you :)
> 
> I felt a little proud too I must admit, no one saw the "Scott"-thing coming... But it lead to me thinking "OMG what have I done? I must explain a lot" XD ...Yeah well, I hope this chapter sums it up then.

"Carmen Ghia?" An unfamiliar voice asked behind him all of a sudden. Carmen turned a little surprised to find three huge men circling him. Whoever could know him here and especially at this time?

The way they moved around him made Carmen feel a little uneasy though. He eyed them suspiciously from the corner of his eyes, but didn't dare to move.

"Yes?" he asked, looking at the guy who addressed him in the first place without letting any fear show.

"So, you are the one we've been looking for," he simply replied.

They circled him and came closer and closer. Carmen didn't move though. He simply watched them; his eyes wandering from one to the other.

He heard one of them move behind him just a second later and ducked away, avoiding that huge fist which flew above him and missed him only shortly. Quickly he looked up again as he knew the other two were moving towards him too. He managed to jump aside when the second one tried to hit him, but then he almost bumped into the third guy, who immediately grabbed his arms and held on to him. Carmen struggled, but there was no way to escape.

A punch in his stomach made him groan and he felt his feet not carrying him anymore. A second punch hit him directly in the face. He spat. A metallic taste appeared on his tongue and told him immediately it must be blood. But there was no time to think about it as a third punch hit him on his head. He felt dizzy, but still hung in the grip of that guy. He wasn't able to move. More and more painful strokes smashed onto him and soon he didn't feel anything anymore. He simply hung there, his head bowed and waited for them to finish, when suddenly that deadly grip loosened and made him fall down as his body wouldn't listen to him anymore. Carmen didn't feel the impact of his body on the cold stone though.

Everything around him was silent. He noticed of course, but wasn't able to lift his head to check if his torturers were gone. He felt his own blood running down his face and was lucky to hear his own breath. He had to cough and knew he was spitting blood doing so.

Then someone lifted him up. He found himself in the painful grip of that guy yet again.

"That'll teach you not to spread your weirdness around," he said. The guys around him laughed.

Carmen opened his eyes as much as it was possible for him.

They started to move, still holding on to him. Wherever they would bring him, he had no clue. And neither did he try to fight them anymore when a black car stopped in front of them.

Carmen noticed only because of the lights, which blinded the little sight he had left.

A door opened and they pushed him inside the vehicle roughly.

Carmen had his troubles looking up. He steadied his body on the backrest of the leather seats and tried to look around. It was dark in here and he felt like fainting any moment. His body ached horribly and he could feel blood dripping down his chin.

"I thought I told you to stay away," a cold voice spoke and Carmen knew exactly who this was.

"I was." he answered quietly and with a hoarse voice.

"Showing up there isn't exactly what we agreed on."

Carmen leaned against the seat and lifted his hurting head as good as possible, looking into the face of Pembroke, who sat casually in front of him. His eyes were fixated on the injured young man in before him and he didn't move. But then he pulled a carefully folded handkerchief out of the side pocket of his suit and handed it to him without a word.

Carmen looked at it and then at the older man wickedly. He didn't trust him at all.

"Why so caring all of a sudden?" Carmen asked in a sarcastic tone, not taking his eyes away from the old man although he curved in pain on the seat. He breathed heavily.

"I don't want you to ruin my seats," Pembroke answered coldly.

They stared at one another for a couple of minutes until Carmen lifted his hand slowly and took the piece of cloth, wiping the blood on his mouth away. It hurt. His hand shook. He didn't even want to imagine how he must look right now. Then he leaned back and turned his head towards the window. They were driving. But he couldn't say where.

"You know I had to do this," Pembroke spoke again and poured himself some whiskey into a small glass. "A behavior like the one you've shown today will not be tolerated by me."

Carmen jeered quietly and closed his eyes. "No one noticed anything. I didn't even know you were there."

"What did you tell them?" the old man asked, ignoring his notion.

"Nothing!" Carmen answered unimpressed and watched the streets flying by outside.

"Don't lie to me," Pembroke got angry.

"I told them absolutely nothing," Carmen answered once more, turning his head on him again.

Again, their stare lasted an eternity. But then, Pembroke seemed to believe him and leaned back as well. He took a sip.

"I don't wish to see you there once more," he said after a while. "And never dare to speak to me like you did again."

"Why?" Carmen asked mockingly. "Because you're afraid someone notices? I can reassure you no one will. You did your very best to cover up my track."

"Well, you've had your choice many years ago," Pembroke answered. "And I agreed on that ridiculous conditions of yours. I'll leave you alone and make sure these perverts around you stay safe. But in return you'll get out of my way. We don't know each other. We never have and never will. I hope you got that now!"

"How could I forget?" Carmen asked, almost piercing Pembroke with his stare. "You've killed me once. And I did as you told me. We are even. So, this wasn't exactly necessary!"

His face burned. And he could feel it swell more and more. The pain in his body got worse and he didn't exactly know how long he would be able to stay conscious. So, he closed his eyes. Only for a short moment to make his dizziness disappear.

"It seems to me you needed a reminder. Take this as my first and only warning." he said. "All you can hope for now is that your sick little fairy friends find you before your injuries weaken you even more. But you had it coming, Scott. I told you before. It was your decision."

Carmen felt the car stop. He looked outside again. They stood in front of Roger's house.

It began to rain when the door flung open. Someone grabbed him and pulled him out of the car again. Under normal circumstances he would have struggled himself free, but he was hardly able to breath anymore, let alone move a bit. So, he simply let it happen not caring to look at Pembroke again.

The old man on the other hand, lifted his arm quickly and the guy stopped pulling. For once, Pembroke arose from where he was sitting and came closer. He took Carmen's chin with one hand, holding it firmly and thus forcing him to look at him once more. The younger man moaned. He was so close, Carmen could feel his breath on his skin.

"Don't forget it," Pembroke said. But Carmen only clenched his teeth. He inhaled deeply and because he felt he wasn't able to answer any more, spat him into his evil face. Pembroke didn't move, but started to grin devilish. Then, he let go of him and waved his arm one more.

When Carmen finally was out of the car, he felt sick. The old man had been right. He didn't really know how long he would make it, but given he was still caught in the grip of that guy there wasn't much he could do. The cool rain on his face felt good though.

"He understood," he heard Pembroke say. "Oh, one more thing Scott. Learn to behave!"

Thus, he snapped his fingers and Carmen felt a punch on the back of his head and immediately everything around him went black...

….

The sun set slowly, but it cast a golden glow over the city just the way it always had done. It almost gave the impression of a normal morning in the city. The streets were already crowded with early birds and people heading for their jobs. Most of them didn't know what had happened that night and they also didn't care.

Christopher Street was silent again. But very unlike the seemingly chaotic hustle that usually was going on there, there were hardly people to be seen. Instead shattered glass shimmered in that orange light and made the gray stone of the street look like glittering diamonds. Tons of ripped paper and broken stones paved the way and here and there big black clouds rose silently from windows or cars, making it easy to notice they had been ablaze just a few hours before.

The few people who still stayed there were usually very small groups of young men and women, involving never more than three of them at once. Mostly they only sat on the stairs in front of the buildings, trying to take care of their cuts or bruises each one of them carried on their bodies. Now and then someone would pass them, but mostly it was just another young man searching for lost ones.

But even if the grief was huge, there was one thing they had in common:

They fought all together. And that feeling of unity reflected in their eyes; in their wills to carry on, no matter how big the loss.

The city awoke and hardly anyone knew about what had happened the other night.

But the Debris-house was still. A scary breath of silence blew through it and it appeared as strange and extrinsic as never before. The ticking of the huge clock in the entrance was echoing through the empty rooms and sounded like a drum in the distance.

Not a single word was spoken. But then, no one was there. The house was empty for maybe the first time in decades. There was no sign of Kevin, Scott, Shirley, Brian or anyone else who usually hustled around in there somewhere. Each one of them usually spent the nights outside anyway, but with no one returning it happened to be spooky. Carmen looked outside the window from time to time. He knew they loved to visit the bars on Christopher Street and instantly hoped they were okay. But he had to face the truth. None of them reappeared. There was no opening of the front door or cheerful laughter from the upper stories. There was nothing. They didn't return. And more and more he hoped they only hid somewhere. But the longer he waited the more certain he got they had been arrested as well. Or worse.

Carmen shook his head immediately after that wicked little thought came upon him.

He took the pot of boiling water in front of him and poured it over the leaves he'd put into the cup in front of him. Then, as careful as he could he carried it out of the kitchen into the living room.

Silently he closed the door behind himself. He placed the cup on the small table in front of the couch and moved over to a white closet door. He reappeared behind it shortly afterwards with a milky white woolen blanket. Slowly he approached the couch again. He spread the blanket wide open and lay it on Max's shoulder carefully.

Max didn't look up. He'd been sitting there ever since they'd arrived in the town-house, bend over and with his head in his hands. He was breathing heavily, clenching his teeth and his eyes were teared open. Carmen had noticed, but he didn't know what to say to him. So, he simply sat down in an armchair next to him.

Max on the other hand just kept staring down to the floor. He didn't want to realize what had happened. And it didn't sink in yet. But he wasn't able to eliminate the pictures in his head. It was as though someone had filmed Leo's breakdown and repeated it in slow-motion over and over and over again. It felt so unreal; so far away in a way. And he couldn't believe Leo was gone. He expected him to walk into the room any second, smiling in his usual shy way and happily cheering at Carmen. Yet, at the same time he knew this wasn't gonna happen. He'd seen him fall. He'd seen him lying there on the street and he'd seen that horrible image of his own blood dying everything in a deep tone of red. Leo wasn't gonna come back. He'd been there. He'd witnessed how he had looked during his last breath. And this time there was no miracle gonna happen. He wouldn't find any letters explaining anything. He had to face it as hard as it was. He'd lost. Everything. The one person he did all this for had been ripped away from him in the blink of an eye. The only person there had been who made himself want to live; want to go on, was gone.

"Not again," he whispered to himself and closed his eyes as firmly as he could to fight back those tears, which still kept coming although there couldn't possibly be anything left in him.

His head hurt. He didn't mind though. Any pain that shot through his numb body made him realize he still was alive. But at the same time he regretted nothing more. Why was this so unfair? Why was he still alive while everything he loved was bound to leave him? It had happened before. But he seriously had started to think it had stopped and that he was finally where he always had to be. How foolish of him. How naïve to think that. He'd lost. Most of all he'd lost himself. And he felt like screaming, thinking about what he had been forced to do. If he knew the last words he spoke to Leo were gonna be 'Get your ass outta here before I forget myself', he would have spanked himself that instance. Nothing, but absolutely nothing should ever end like that.

And with the realization of it, Max moaned.

"Does it hurt a lot?" he heard Carmen's soft voice as the younger man carefully rushed by his side, kneeling down in front of him. "There, let me see."

He lifted his head with his hands carefully and Max saw a blurry picture of Carmen's face who pressed a cloth soaked in cold water onto his skin. He felt the icy chill, but didn't care much.

Incidentally, Max pulled himself away.

"Don't," he said, but wasn't able to produce more than a whisper. He didn't care much if he was still covered in blood and dirt.

Carmen leaned back and looked away.

Max hated that look. He never wanted anyone to see him like that, especially not Carmen.

The young man on the other hand closed his eyes and nodded once, before he slowly got up and backed away as well.

"Thank you," he said, sitting down a little away from Max again. "Thank you for trusting me back then."

He avoided his eyes though and was pretty sure, Max wouldn't react at all anyway. He seemed almost apathetic. And worst of all Carmen couldn't even blame him. He had tried to act normal himself, but now his head seemed to understand more and more what had happened. Roger was gone. And Leo...

Carmen covered his mouth with his hands, trying to avoid any sounds. He knew perfectly well that if he broke down as well, none of them would be able to carry on. But somehow his whole body still shivered and he knew he was alone now.

"I don't know why I did," he heard Max's voice as if he sat miles away from him.

Slowly he lifted his head. Max hadn't moved and still stared into space, looking shocked. Yet, he did answer.

"I...I just can't believe I trusted you," he said after a while.

Carmen didn't answer. Even if he did, there was nothing he could say to easy the pain. So, he closed his eyes.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, fully aware Max probably heard it. "I never wanted this to happen..."

"Spare me," Max whirled around and suddenly almost screamed. "You can't undo it. Nothing you say can!"

"Do you honestly think I don't know that?" Carmen asked, not looking up. He heard his own voice break and he knew there was nothing he could do to stop his tears from coming now too.

"Why was he even there?" Max continued, not caring about Carmen's words. "I trusted you just this once. I thought nothing could happen while he was here with you. You shouldn't have brought him there, God damn it!"

"I..."

"And now you seriously have the nerve to tell me YOUare sorry?" Max's voice somersaulted in frustration. His face burned, but he hardly noticed his tears dripping down his face anymore. All he wanted was to hurt that man in front of him. To make him pay anyhow. But he wasn't even able to express his hatred that moment properly. The pictures of Leo's lifeless body were still too fresh in his mind to properly pronounce it. "You should have let me go there..."

"They'd have arrested you too...," Carmen tried to argue, but was cut off again.

"So what? SO WHAT?" Max sobbed. "He is gone...Damn it, do you even get that?"

"Do you really think I don't know?" Carmen looked up. His face was red and he felt his tears streaming down his cheeks onto his hands, which he held upon his knees in shaking fists. "Do you think I didn't do what I was capable of to get them out of there? You are not the only one who cared for him. And you are certainly not the only one who lost someone..."

His last words were nothing more than a whisper. He swallowed hard. It was as though someone had shaken him awake. Speaking it out loud made it final. A reality. Something he couldn't endure.

Quickly he got up and turned away, moving closer to the huge window. He had his hand clutched to his mouth, not believing what had just slipped out of it.

Max witnessed him silently. Then he shook his head, sighing slightly and wiping his face with his hands after a while. He didn't mean to scream. But then he didn't even mean to be here. In this house. He never believed he would see it again.

Wearily, he looked around. It was so strange; so silent and so unreal. He'd spent so much time here. Even before Carmen or Leo came into his life.

And for once, he noticed Carmen was right. There was nothing left. He was alone.

All he'd wanted for them was to be safe, but it had been in vain. He'd made it even worse and once more wished for them to sit here instead of himself.

Now, he was strangely tied to Carmen; someone he'd never spent time with even if his life depended on it. But then again, it indeed had. And it was Carmen's choice to rescue him without a second thought. Without asking.

Max looked at him.

He had his back turned on him, just staring out of the window and was probably crying. It was then, Max noticed how right he was. They were on the same boat. With one small exception...

"They will let him go sooner or later," Max whispered in Carmen's direction.

But the younger man only shook his head and turned his head slightly, so Max was able to see his face in the profile.

"He won't," Carmen answered, now a lot calmer. "I will never see him again."

"How do you know?" Max asked. A strange wave of sympathy ran through his body all of a sudden.

"Because...," Carmen turned a little more and finally looked at him. He reminded Max more of a beaten dog than the flamboyant person he usually was though. "Because he wants to punish me... Because it was like a trade. You for him... Roger is his lever. And he will never let him go again."

They stared at each other again for quite a while.

"Punish you for what?" Max finally asked.

"For getting in his way," Carmen answered and suddenly looked like a kid somehow. Max noticed in surprise.

"Are you really his son?" Max asked after an eternity, but his voice was nearly gone and the question was so silent, he hardly believed anyone heard it.

"No," Carmen answered and his face changed. It seemed that question tortured him more than anything before and he looked to the floor again. "But I was..."

"Who are you?" Max's eyes grew wider again and his breath became faster. "I don't know you. Who is Carmen Ghia? Or Scott Pembroke?"

Carmen sighed and started to move slowly. He came closer, yet his approach seemed almost shy and careful. When he reached the couch, he sat down next to Max, who still stared at him. His hands clutched his body and Max could see he was shivering.

Then, the young man in front of him took a deep breath and their eyes met again.

"My real name is Scott Preston Pembroke," he said quietly. "I was the only son of that devil and the heir of everything he built up over the decades."

Max held his breath that moment. Not only, because he'd never believed to get an answer like that, but also because a million things ran through his head in an instance. First of all, he'd never wasted just one thought about the peculiarity of Carmen's name. That this in fact was an alias never crossed his mind even though, now that he knew, it felt way too obvious. Secondly, it led to many other questions all at once.

"What?" he answered slowly. "You...you can't be. I mean...Pembroke's son is supposed to be dead."

Carmen nodded, closing his eyes.

"In a way he is," he replied silently. "It was a deal."

He stood up again, crossing his arms and turned away. He began to walk through the room taking slow steps. It gave the impression he felt somehow safer to move and to know he could run if necessary than sitting in front of someone who was there coincidentally and whom he hardly trusted.

"Pembroke...My...father," he hesitated for a moment, swallowing his own words. He hadn't called him that in ages and it felt so unfamiliar to say it out loud. "...He was very strict. He had a perfect idea about what his life must look like. And after my mother died he tried to conform me to his image as well. Nothing special, if you think about it. Many parents wish their children to follow their footsteps. And I was fine with it. Always. I didn't know my mother and all he ever told me about her was that she died when I was born. And well, you never question that way to live until you get older."

Carmen stopped in front of the window again, once more casting a look outside. It seemed to Max he waited for someone, even though they both knew it wouldn't happen.

"When I was around nineteen I'd already gotten annoyed by him controlling everything. How he'd scheduled all of my time and especially how I wasn't able to talk to him about anything. He disapproved about a lot of things. And by that time I felt I needed to get out. I had some friends from school back then, but they were mainly the sons of business-friends of Pembroke, who coincidentally attended the same private school as me. But they were pretty much the same as him. All they cared about was the businesses they were going to inherit.

And I started to internally scream, although I didn't know what I was missing back then."

"You've had everything then. Why would you want anything else?" Max concluded. He listened to Carmen without daring to move. Too unbelievable was all of this.

But the younger man shook his head and even though he had his back turned on him, Max could see it.

"It was a cage," he spoke again. "A planned life...Every minute of it with no room for dreams or wishes or even thoughts of your own. He did all of that for me. That one day, I remember, it was after school. Pembroke's driver stood in front of the building already. But I couldn't go. I saw him there and I knew what was expected of me, but I felt like choking thinking about going there again. So, I climbed over the wall of the school and vanished from their sight. I wandered through New York all alone for the first time that day, until I stopped at Christopher Street. I had no idea what this place was about though..."

"So, was that why he wanted you to stay away there? Why he screamed at you in front of people that day? He found out?" Max asked suddenly, remembering Diane's story.

Carmen had to laugh. A sad laugh though, not more than a breath.

"You've researched?" he turned a little and looked at Max from the corner of his eyes.

"I needed a reason...A little clue why he acted the way he did," Max answered. "But the clipping I found said Pembroke's son died on that street."

Again, Carmen nodded.

"He did make that up," he answered. "Pembroke never wanted someone to find out."

Max saw how much Carmen must hate that man. His hands, although still clutched to his body shook. It was plain to see. And he was being so careful never to call him 'Dad' or anything that resembled a closer bond. Maybe it was a habit, developed over the years. It was more likely though, he did this to separate himself from that man.

"Well, I returned to the street a lot," he continued. "I was shocked at first when I saw all these people. Men in dresses and with painted faces and women looking like boys. It was strange, but soon I found out no one would judge you there. No one cared where you came from. The only thing that mattered was you were there. Among the people you belonged. And well...it didn't take long and I noticed I couldn't go on as before. And I noticed more and more how much different I was. I belonged there in more ways than I realized at first. But then I kissed a boy for the first time and I knew."

Max suspected what he meant.

"When he'd found out where I had been almost every day he had been furious," Carmen said again, now looking at Max. "And when I told him I was gay, he sent me to all kinds of therapists and psychologists. A disease that's all it was. Something I could be cured of. Something abnormal. It hurt a lot to realize I couldn't aspect any support from him, but the pain of those electric shocks they tried to cure me with was much worse."

He stopped and lowered his head. The shivering of his hands now spread through his whole body. He shook his hands once or twice to stop it, but it just wouldn't work.

"He'd tried to hide me from the public after that. He had been very successful already then and the press literally besieged him almost every day," he continued after a moment. "Of course nothing he did changed anything. That's something he never understood and probably never will. It's not a choice but something that's inside you from the beginning."

He cast a look over at Max, which made the older man feel even more miserable all of a sudden. He knew what he wanted to say. What this look was supposed to say.

"He'd put a spy on me from that day on. And he knew every step I did. Always. That screaming you've talked about was him forbidding me to ever go there again. I had been brought to him by a bunch of guys he hired each time he wanted to make sure I wasn't sneaking about. He wanted me to stay home, enchained by all his rules and ideas of how a life must look like for a 'decent person'. I yelled at him. A lot actually. He was horrible. And I ran away again that very night," Carmen said. "So I'd made friends on Christopher Street back then. And I tried to make them believe we had rights too. We were no things; no coincidental lapse of nature and we were definitely not dangerous to anyone. I managed to round up a lot of them after a while. And among them... there was someone I cared for... A lot."

"You fell in love?"

Carmen nodded. "He knew of course. And blamed everything on the queer community. And on him especially. In his eyes it wasn't my stubbornness of wanting to be different, but a plaque; a sickness I got infected with. Pembroke was so full of hatred and that night...to find me having slipped through his fingers again...well... He attacked them. A whole bunch of policemen were there with him and they hit everyone they could reach. They've arrested so many. And I was in the middle of them, surrounded by a bunch of officers. With him. And it was enough to drive Pembroke up the wall. He approached us and pulled out a gun..."

Max's eyes widened once more. "He shot him?"

Carmen chose not to answer but turned his head away and Max knew he'd guessed right. A shiver ran down his spine.

All of a sudden he understood why Carmen denied to be the son of someone like this.

"They've attacked me next," he continued. "But they didn't kill me as many claimed. All of them...they only saw what he wanted them to see. He brought me back home. I was injured and almost not breathing anymore. I had witnessed the death of someone who had been there for me. For the first time in my life and it was then my loathing towards Pembroke turned into profound hatred. He gave me one choice back then. Either renounce of all what I had become and follow him again to become the heir he wanted or I had to vanish. But it was too late. There was no way I could have possibly returned to him. So, I made another suggestion. I told him I would leave. Forever. I suggested he made up a story about my death back on that street and so got rid of me once and for all. In return I would change my name and go into hiding. I told him I would stay away from him forever and would never try to cross his path again. The only condition I had for doing so was he would never ever touch me again. And no one around me. He'd know my people anyway... So, he agreed. I was injured though. I stumbled through the city that night, perfectly aware that I had no place to go. I couldn't return to Christopher Street as well. It would have blown everything. I remember I had hardly been able to walk anymore and hadn't been able to stop these wounds from bleeding. So, my body became weaker and weaker and up to a certain point I just couldn't go on. I sat down in the streets to get my head clear and rest for a second... Until Roger found me. I had no idea who he was or what he wanted and I didn't trust him at all. But he took me in and well...you know the rest."

Max didn't believe it. He'd never once asked Roger where he and Carmen met. He'd only heard Roger was with someone new some day and he actually met Carmen the first time together with Leo.

"But... But you got attacked yourself!?" He stated hesitantly. "They almost killed you from what Leo and Roger told me. And I can still see it when I look at you. So, that bargain wasn't really valid, was it?"

"It was a warning," Carmen said, running his hand over the side of his face. Then he turned and looked at Max again with wet eyes. "That day at the theater... I was too close. And I dared to attack him verbally too. Stupid of me, but I didn't think that moment."

Max nodded. "So, he won't even stop before his own son."

Neither of them spoke for a while. Max felt dizzy. It all made sense now. Everything. So, this was why Roger and Carmen and all of their friends never had any trouble being as openly gay as they were. And it explained perfectly well why they wanted Leo with them so badly. But then another thought crossed his mind, forcing him to lift his head in rather quickly again.

"Did he know from you?" Max asked in shock. "Did he know about Leo because of you?"

"No Max, I assure you I never said anything to anyone," Carmen said quickly and his eyes turned to that desperate defiant look again. "He spies on me. All the time. I guess he only suspected it seeing Leo here very often. Believe me, I'd never put him into danger like that."

And somehow Max believed him. He told the truth. It was there in his eyes. He still had to digest everything he'd heard though. All that time the answer had been right in front of his nose and he never knew. On the other hand he could understand Carmen perfectly. And it confused him deeply. He never thought there was more behind him. He had always been 'just' Roger's partner. A weird sassy girlish stranger who didn't hide how much he disliked Max. But now, in a way they weren't so unlike each other.

"Why 'Carmen'?" he asked and was surprised himself how insecure he sounded all of a sudden.

Carmen smiled for once, shrugging. "Oh, that! Well, Pembroke always hated new things. And foreign things. He was always very keen on technical stuff though. And I remember him ranting about that car every other rich brat was eager to get at one point. A Volkswagen Karmann-Ghia. 'Silly German toys' he would say. He hated it to see them. 'A blot in the landscape' were his exact words. He hated it. So, I figured that was just perfect. If he hated it that much it was more than fitting."

Max had to smile too. It had been long since he'd seen a little of the Carmen he knew in that person, but there it was again. Choosing something his old man hated more than anything suited him perfectly.

Both of them smiled at each other for what seemed forever, until Carmen seemed to realize it, looking rather puzzled. He turned away quickly and coughed slightly. Was that a blush on his face? This couldn't be. He and Max despised each other. It had always been like that.

He turned his head in surprise when he felt a touch on his back, only to find Max now standing next to him and softly putting that blanket over his shoulders. He stared at him in surprise.

Max, on the other hand didn't say anything for a while, but shared his gaze outside.

"So, two Scott's in one household, hm?" he then asked. "Isn't that complicated?"

Carmen's face softened and he felt another smile appear in the corner of his mouth. He closed his eyes, pulling the warming blanket a little closer to his body.

"They don't know," he answered almost shyly and felt Max's eyes on him again just seconds later. "No one does actually. Not even Roger. No one...except you. As unbelievable as that is."

"Carmen?" he heard Max's voice as though he was miles away from him. He opened his eyes again. "Why don't we get along?"

Of all the questions Carmen had expected this wasn't one of them. He'd been thinking about it ever since Max told him his reasons for kicking Leo out as well. And he had never dreamed about telling anyone about his past, let alone Max. But somehow he felt his secret was safe with him. So, there was no real reason. But no real answer either.

Carmen sighed.

"I can't explain myself," he answered in all honesty. He figured it didn't matter anymore, so he might as well could tell the truth. "I guess it had always been on either sides, am I right?"

"I knew from the beginning you hated me," Max answered, still staring ahead. "And to be honest I didn't care much. But after some years it was plain to see for everyone. I thought you were not more than an insignificant appendix of Roger, showing up wherever he would go."

"I thought you were like him," Carmen fired away, not really believing he just said it. "I... I always thought all you cared about was your business. And it got stronger after 'Springtime'. You lied to us. And you dragged Leo with you. I thought you were just like everything I hated so much and you did your very best to spoil a really nice young man."

Max seemed to realize his thoughts for the first time ever. He now stared at him almost regretfully mixed with a bit surprise. He never knew Carmen thought that. He had tried hard to change the way he always had been in the past years, but now he realized it hadn't been enough.

"I see," he said after a while, turning his eyes away again.

"I'm sorry," Carmen whispered. All of a sudden it made him feel guilty somehow. Maybe he had indeed been wrong all the time. But thinking about it, he really didn't know much about Max still. "I guess though you could've easily changed that."

"You think?" Max smiled slightly. "I know...I know I was an asshole. I am aware of how I reacted and to a certain point still react to people. But do you really think I could have changed the way you saw me? Even if I'd cared?"

Carmen watched him and had to admit he was right. Most likely, he wouldn't have given him another chance. But he could try and change that now.

"I'm sorry," Max whispered next to him.

"'Bout what?"

"About everything," Max answered quietly. "I don't hate you. Not at all. And if I'd taken the time to get to know you better, well... Maybe everything would have gone differently."

"Why did you safe him?" Carmen asked in return.

"What?"

"Roger," Carmen asked again. "Why did you keep Pembroke from shooting him? He quit your friendship. He told me. And I know you knew. So, if you really didn't care as you just told me, there was no plausible reason for you to do what you did."

Max laughed shortly.

"Because...," he hesitated. "Because there was one thing Leo always wanted me to see, but I only understood after well...after all this happened."

He stopped and saw the face of Leo in front of him again. Quickly, he shook his head and once more felt like choking.

"What was that?" he noticed Carmen's voice next to him.

Max opened his eyes again, but kept staring at his feet. "That you weren't just his family... Both of you."

Carmen's eyes widened. He'd expected a lot, but certainly not that.

"And," Max continued, looking up to him again. "And I know it's hard to believe... But I would never forsake this family. All the same... What I did... I did to keep you away from Pembroke. And made it even worse. And I am very sorry for that too."

Carmen's stare went on. Max looked away rather quickly though, running his hand through his hair. He'd never believed to say that out loud. And what confused him even more was that it was true. He noticed before, but now it was real. And somehow he was afraid of Carmen's reaction all of a sudden. He always felt more secure acting the way he always did. Leo was the one exception really. He'd been from the beginning. And even now he'd accomplished more than anyone had ever dared to think. Max wasn't only talking with Carmen but also told him something he'd never told anyone. Not even Leo for that matter.

"Max?"

Max didn't turn. He opened his eyes though, waiting for the inevitable blame to follow.

"Would you do it again?"

Surprised he looked up. Carmen wasn't blaming him. He wasn't even questioning him or got angry. He was looking at him with tender eyes. He didn't smile though but just kept piercing him with a constant stare.

"What?" Max asked.

"If you met Leo again... on that day ten years ago," he continued. "And you knew what was gonna happen... Everything. You knew about you two going to jail. And about your accident. You even knew you'd lose him... And you were well aware of everything you're feeling right now. The pain as well as the joy inside simply thinking about the time you've had with him... The laughter, the talks until sunset, the jokes, the tears, the screams... and Leo lying there in the streets..."

He stopped at that point, swallowing hard himself. But then, he took a deep breath.

"Would you do it again?" he asked then, still not taking his eyes away although tears were streaming down his face again.

His words echoed in Max's head. He wanted to say something, but absolutely nothing came out of his mouth. He felt his eyes getting wet and held his breath. Then he closed them, feeling his face burn as his tears ran over the injured surface.

"Yes," he whispered after a while. "I'd do it again. No matter if I knew or if I could change things. Only thing that matters is I'd still have time to be with him."

It felt as though some unknown burden was taken away from him. It didn't matter at all that it was Carmen he was being honest with. Or maybe it did. He wasn't sure. All he knew was that huge wave of sympathy towards the one he always ignored which nearly brought him to his knees.

Carmen on the other hand nodded and started to smile. Max didn't know what this meant but at least it couldn't be a bad sign if the reaction included a smile. But then, he felt strangely touched as Carmen stepped closer without hesitation and hugged him tightly. He stared over the younger man's shoulder completely taken aback. This was definitely new and worst of all it didn't bother him a bit. On the contrary it somehow felt soothing and exactly how it should be. Maybe even how it should have been for ages.

So, slowly Max raised his hands as well and replied to that unexpected gesture of trust.

"Do you think there's a chance we may start anew?" Carmen asked after a while.

Max had to smile, still holding him. "Anytime..."

Carefully Carmen let go of him and didn't lose his smile through his red eyes. He sniffed once and then stretched his hand in Max's direction.

"I'm Scott," he said softly.

And even though he wished the situation was differently Max shook his hand, knowing perfectly well this was a new start. He didn't feel afraid though. A conciliation with Carmen had been long overdue. He couldn't help but keep his smile too, looking into the eyes of the man he'd known for years but felt he only really got to know him in that one moment.

"Max. Thank you," he replied silently. "...Scott."

Indeed he had been wrong all these years. Carmen wasn't at all just the sassy little assistant of Roger, but a stronger character than Max had ever imagined. And if Roger really didn't know any of the things he just told him, it was even more remarkable that he had managed to see it. Or Max had just been too much trapped inside his self; his past even; that he simply had his eyes closed before that as well. Leo had clearly seen it too.

Once more, it devastated him to think about it. It had been his mistake though. There was nothing anymore he could blame on Carmen. And all of a sudden, Max was determined he didn't deserve to share his misery just because of something he had done. It just wasn't fair.

It was hard to grasp the loss of Leo and he knew it would probably take forever to accept he wasn't there anymore. The pure thought of it made Max want to stop breathing and he felt that painful knot in his stomach again. But even so, Roger was still alive. Maybe there was something he could do.

"Do you really think there's no way to get Roger out of there?" Max asked after a moment.

Carmen shook his head.

"Not without a miracle," he answered. "I'd have to bail him free. And apart from Pembroke never letting me near Roger, I don't have that money. Even if I sold all of this here..."

He looked around the house with a desperate look.

"I didn't know he'd do that;" Carmen said. "But it suits him. Trading one for another is a rotten thing to do."

"Why didn't you argue?" Max asked.

"Because...," he hesitated. "Because...Well, you saw him. He probably would have killed you and Roger too. Just to snuff out every light around me."

Max took a deep breath. He knew what this meant.

"I have that money," he replied, staring to the ground. "From his financial backings."

"You mean...?" Carmen stared at him in surprise, causing Max to smile once more. Then he nodded.

"It would be as though he himself bought him out," he grinned.

"They will recognize you," Carmen answered, shaking his head. "And lock you away too."

"I could send someone else," Max argued. "Believe it or not, there are still people owing me."

"That'll never work," Carmen said.

Max laughed shortly, shaking his head.

"What's so funny?" he heard Carmen's voice again.

"I've heard that before," he answered without looking up. "From someone who feared it as much as you do now. I never said it's not risky though. But it turned out that person took that one chance which was given to him and grew to be bigger than anyone else..."

"And...," Carmen looked at him still. "Who was that?"

Max looked up and smiled through sad eyes.

"Leo Bloom."

….

The morning sun shone softly through the window of the little apartment, dipping it into a soft almost blurry atmosphere. Diane sat at her window, just staring outside. The world looked so different today. New in a way but also frightening. Everything had changed. And the sad thing was there was a very small chance a lot of people would even get to know what happened the other night.

She opened the window a little to feel the warm breeze from outside on her skin. It was the best to feel something again. She didn't mind the sunbeams blinding her, or the noise from the streets immediately taking over the silence around her. How mocking this day appeared all of a sudden with its bright blue sky and the sun, making everyone believe it was a normal summer's day. She took a deep breath. The city even smelled differently. Or maybe it was just her perception.

She was lost in her thoughts and didn't notice the footsteps behind her. But she also didn't move when a hand softly touched her shoulder. She also didn't turn to look at that strange guy she had met just the other night.

"Here," he said, handing her a cup of coffee. "It'll help a little."

She smiled and closed her eyes.

"What makes you think I need help?" she asked.

"Because no matter what situations I'd ever had to get through," the man said. "Sitting silently for a moment and enjoying a cup of coffee had always been something very soothing. It helps to pretend everything's okay."

"I don't want to pretend," she answered, now looking up.

"I know," he said. "But it will be, believe me. We've done what we could."

She stared at him for a moment and then carefully took the cup out of his hands.

"Thank you," she said and took a sip. And oh, how right he was. It felt like a normal morning routine. It was warm and good and gave the impression of nothing had changed indeed. She swallowed the black liquid and immediately knew her eyes were getting wet.

She felt good. At least better than in a long time. Even though she was scared to death.

"Hey," he said, sitting down next to her, putting his arm around her. "There, there. Don't you worry too much. Everything's okay."

"Why must things like that happen?" she sobbed. "It's just not fair."

"It never is," he replied, looking at her with his black eyes. "But you'll see we were the lucky ones."

Their eyes met. He wore a soft smile on his face and his eyes were tender. She immediately had to laugh again, even though she didn't feel like it. It was as though she had no control over her body anymore.

"It was fate you were there," she said.

"Funny," he jeered. "I was about to say the same."

"You didn't tell me your name though," she said. "I'm Diane."

"Clara."

She smiled. A young man who dressed like a woman and wore make-up was something she didn't see every day, but if it hadn't been for him who knows what else had happened? And Clara was right. They were the lucky ones. They were here. They were free. And alive. A lot of things worse than that could have happened.

"Do you really think...," she started anew. "He will be alright?"

Both of them turned their heads to look at the bed, standing in the room like a huge monument with the light of the world outside shining on it. But it wasn't just that.

Leo was asleep. He hadn't been awake since they'd taken him here. His head was bandaged with multiple layers of bandages, but still his blood soaked through it. It looked horrible. If only there was a sign of him being okay; without any internal injuries. But there was nothing. Apart from the fact he was alive, which maybe was like a little miracle itself. Surviving a strike with a bat was rare. And even though neither of them knew if he was ever going to open his eyes again, his peaceful breathing was reason enough for both of them to calm down.

"We've done everything we could," Clara repeated. "He has to take the last step by himself though."

Diane kept on staring at Leo. And once more she felt tears running down her cheeks.

"Hey," Clara put his fingers underneath her chin and softly forced her to look at him again. "Believe me, he will make it. He is the stronger than people think. I saw it in the way he looked at me. He will survive."

Diane nodded shortly.

"I hope you're right," she answered.

"He can do it," Clara repeated.

~To be continued~


	14. The release

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Whoa, long time no see... Sorry about that. I was struggling with how to resolve all of that. But I guess my concept works out now. Anyway, thanks a thousand times for the nice reviews and the attention this story actually gets. I am flattered really. I just planned to write a story about the Stonewall riots for I found the topic amazingly fascinating and it makes me happy so many read it. And at least I got the impression I didn't screw up that badly. Thank you all. You rock.
> 
> Anyway, next chapter. Enjoy :)

Carmen went through all kinds of books and paper he could find. From time to time he shook his head. It was unbelievable how much stuff Max had piled on the desk. Mostly papers, but he told him he had been trying to find out about Pembroke so it was clear now where he knew most of it from. And the more he scrolled through it, the harder it got to find that one name Max had told him. Some backer he knew from a long time ago; an old Lady from what Carmen suggested. Max only mentioned she'd been married to a lawyer some decades ago and certainly knew what to do. But they had to find her real name. Max had told him he had written it down somewhere, along with the numbers. But right now it seemed impossible to find anything, let alone said little book. And although Carmen had been here quite a few times before, he'd never experienced the office to look like it did right now. What worried him though was the fact that most of it looked like Max hadn't moved much since the day Carmen had been here to thank him. Everything apart from the desk and couch. In fact, he had every reason to believe Max had lived on that couch until now.

He turned his head as he heard Max approaching from one of the rooms in the back again.

"She's gone," he said. "She must have gotten out. Of course. Stubborn girl."

"Well, locking Diane inside that room wasn't the best idea anyway," Carmen replied and smiled slightly, turning yet another page of a book in front of him. "And she's not stupid. It was predictable she's find a way out."

"I know," Max answered. "But I couldn't let her go there."

Carmen nodded shortly, fixating him again. "You thought something could happen to her. It's nothing reprehensible really."

"Yeah," he simply answered and stared straight ahead.

"You did worry about her, didn't you?" Carmen asked again.

"Of course," Max lifted his head again and looked at him sincerely. "If anything happened to her..."

He stopped there. Talking about it led to a lot more questions and that inevitably meant facing the loss of Leo again. He just couldn't do it.

"I see," he heard Carmen speak again. Their eyes met once more.

"You thought something might happen to you," the younger man continued. "So, keeping her safe was necessary for her to replace you, am I right?"

Max didn't answer, but walked past him and sat down on the couch, grabbing one of the books as well. But he turned just to the front page and almost froze, staring at it.

Leo's handwriting immediately caught his eye and made his heart sink once more. He wanted to turn away, but just couldn't. It was as though it was forcing him to keep staring. And all of a sudden all the images came back to him. Max quickly closed his eyes. He closed the book as quick as possible, throwing it on the couch and got up again, moving over to the huge windows and crossing his arms. He felt like breaking down again and knew it was the worst thing that could happen right now.

"Max?"

He heard Carmen's voice next to him. He didn't react though. He just couldn't. So, he just waited but nothing followed.

Carmen bit his lips. He could hardly imagine what was going on inside of the man in front of him, yet he knew too well. He looked at the book Max had thrown away. It had fallen down from the bounce of the couch and had sprung open. He couldn't make out what was written in there, but he noticed Leo's handwriting immediately.

He turned to look at Max again. The older man wasn't moving a bit but staring into space with his back turned on him. And suddenly it made sense to Carmen. All of it.

"You can't stand to be here, can you?" he asked calmly.

Max didn't answer. Of course.

"No, you definitely can't," Carmen answered himself silently, looking around sadly. "Everything here screams Leo's name. Too many memories."

Max sighed.

"It's my fault. All of it," he whispered after a while. "But it doesn't matter now. Not anymore."

Carmen thought about it for a second. Then he slowly lifted his head again.

"Well, what does then?" he asked silently, not leaving Max out of sight.

"To get Roger out of there," Max answered and finally turned to look at him again. "To get that small family back together."

….

Diane sat on the edge of her bed and watched Leo's chest rise and fall. She forgot how long she'd been doing that now, but somehow it made her feel a little better about everything. The simply fact he was still breathing made it better. But then, looking at his face changed all of that again. If only they were able to tell if that punch had caused any serious damage to him. He looked pale; with dark shadows around his eyes, giving the impression he wasn't even alive anymore. And both of them, Clara as well as Diane, hadn't really been able to stop his wound from bleeding. So all she could do was changing that bandage from time to time and spending he rest of the day silently sitting beside him. Sometimes she would hold his hand, just to make him feel he was not alone. Or maybe it made herself feel less helpless. She couldn't say for sure.

All this waiting killed her internally though. Waiting for so many things. Waiting for Clara to return was the most important. He was gone to ask a friend of him for help; some guy who'd been working as a doctor before he got fired when people got wind of his homosexuality. Then, waiting for the moment Leo finally opened his eyes again. Firstly, it would be the evidence she needed to make herself believe he was still alive and would soon be his old self again. And secondly she was waiting for that moment when she could finally apologize for everything. Simply to get it off her chest. But it just didn't happen.

Again, she noticed herself watching over to him. If only that image changed a bit.

She felt tired. She hadn't been able to sleep ever since they'd arrived here, even though Clara had suggested it again and again. But every time she closed her eyes just a bit, the pictures of that night flashed before her eyes again. She'd arrived on Christopher Street too late and found the screaming crowd already attacking the Stonewall with everything they had been able to grab. She'd been fighting her way through them for a while, but then had gotten carried away more or less by the thousands of people. And then, there had been that moment.

She'd heard someone who had been calling Leo's name. She had turned in despair; had tried to find him in that crowd, scanning every face she had been able to make out. Until she'd seen him standing there petrified. He'd stared somewhere. Until that unknown guy had been approaching him from behind. And before she could even move, he'd been striking out. Instinctively she'd closed her eyes. She'd heard that dull impact and had known that instance that bat hadn't missed its target. When she'd teared her eyes open again she hadn't known whether to scream or breath or run. Too horrible had the image of Leo been, lying there on the street; motionless in that lake-like puddle of blood surrounding him. And it hadn't stopped to spread. She'd wanted to run there; to help if possible. But in the wink of a moment hundreds of policemen had been there, marching along the streets and ignoring the bleeding person on the ground completely. She had been running though. Straight to the closest side-street. She remembered it clearly. That hiding behind a wall had been the worst part. But there had been nothing she could have done while the police had still tried to stop the riot.

It had been there she met Clara for the first time. He had been hiding there as well, along with a couple of other people. He'd asked her if anyone had been following her of course, but she'd answered she was only waiting for the police to go away, so she could try and help her friend. She'd never forget the look on Clara's face though.

"You know him?" he'd asked.

She'd nodded. "His name is Leo. And I think," she had sobbed without noticing it. "I think they've killed him."

Clara hadn't been thinking long and had rushed by her side to calm her. He'd flung his arms around her, explaining he was only waiting for them to end all this too. How surprised she had been to learn he knew Leo as well. And when they finally had been able to get closer, they hardly could believe their eyes. Both of them had been in shock. Diane had been starting to cry immediately. She simply hadn't been able to fight it. But seeing Leo like that had been something she'd never forget, for as long as she lived.

"He's still alive," she'd heard Clara's voice. "He is still breathing!"

He had knelt down and had his hand put on his arm to check it. Then he'd lifted his head in her direction. His face had been a mixture of shock and despair and Diane couldn't recall she'd ever seen anyone looking paler.

"We must bring him away from here," she'd said through her tears streaming down her face. "We need a doctor."

"We can't move him," Clara had answered. "What if he is hurt more than we can see? We could cause more harm than anything good!"

"And leave him here? He is as good as dead if we don't do anything," she'd almost screamed? Clara hadn't dared to reply anything, but still had looked as though he didn't believe they were in this together.

"Please," Diane had cried. "We have to try. There must be a little chance he survives this."

Clara had turned away for a moment. It'd been almost as thought he was evaluating everything she'd said. But then he'd nodded.

It had been only an hours later when both of them had arrived in Diane's apartment, carrying Leo with them. They'd been so careful; always trying to keep him steady. But none of them could tell whether it was for the best or not. Leo hadn't shown one sign of being okay ever since.

"I hope he'll hurry," she thought, getting up.

Slowly she moved over to her window and again just stared at the street. She wondered whether anyone noticed what nightmare they all had been through. And suddenly, she thought about Carmen. And Max. Chances were given they'd know what to do. But then, she didn't know whether she should tell them. She didn't even know if Max was fine or not. She hadn't seen him anywhere.

Slowly she put her hand into the pockets of her jacket and pulled out the tiny piece of paper she'd gotten some weeks ago from Max.

"Carmen Ghia," she read the name again and again. She could go there. Tell him what had happened. But then again, what if he already was searching for Leo? As far as she knew he'd been living with them anyway. And Max? She could easily check if he was alright though.

She turned the paper and stared at the phone number of the older man. It was the right thing to do. He had the right to know Leo was still alive. But somehow she just couldn't do it. Max had closed that chapter of his life, hadn't he? Of course. He had been telling her.

She sighed. No. The truth was, she was afraid. He'd surely take him away again. It was the only possible reaction, if everything he told her had been right. So, was it jealousy up to a certain point? No. She shook her head again. She simply had to wait until Leo was over the worst. She had to tell him first. Max had made his decision. He surely wouldn't find him here and most likely he wasn't gonna search for him anyway. There was no way he could know something happened to him.

Quickly she crumpled the piece of paper and opened the window a little. She watched it fly away as she threw it out. For a while she looked after it without moving. Until she noticed the sound of a weak voice behind her.

"Diane?"

She whirled around, her eyes wide in shock. For a moment she wasn't sure if she'd imagined it. But then there was Leo, who lay the way she'd left him. And he was looking back at her although he was hardly able to open his eyes. Diane couldn't believe it. She was petrified and didn't dare to move. Had she fallen asleep? No, this must be real. He was awake.

So, carefully, she walked over to him, sitting down at the edge of the bed. Her eyes were filling with tears again, yet she smiled.

"Hey," she greeted him softly. "How are you?"

Leo blinked once or twice and tried to turn his head slightly. Unfortunately, his face immediately got distorted with pain and he closed his eyes again.

"Why does my head hurt that much?" he weakly moaned and carefully touched it with his hands.

"Don't!" she replied and bend forwards to held him back. She still didn't know whether everything was alright and touching it surely wouldn't help much.

Leo opened his eyes slightly again and finally their eyes met. Diane felt lost somehow, although the relief of Leo being awake and at least able to talk a little made her feel almost drunk with joy.

"You...you got injured," she slowly explained. "That's why. Please, try not to move too much."

"Injured?" Leo didn't seem to follow her that easily. "Where am I?"

"You're in my apartment," she answered. "Clara will return soon and bring a doctor. Don't you worry so much. Everything will be alright."

"Clara...," Leo sunk back into the pillow again, sighing. "How do you know him? I don't understand..."

"It's a long story," she said. "You should rest and recover."

But Leo looked more confused than before. He sunk back into the pillow and continued to stare at the ceiling, opening and closing his eyes over and over again; just as though it would make his blurry sight and the pain go away. Diane watched him and didn't know what to do. She was certain she needed to say something, but upsetting him too much surely wasn't good at all.

"There was that Inn...," Leo said silently. It sounded as though he was strolling through his own memory to restore everything again. "And Clara was there... and Carmen."

Diane didn't move. She hoped instantly Clara would just rush through that door right now, but unfortunately nothing happened. She held her breath for a second and closed her eyes. Biting her lips, she noticed how helpless she still felt even though Leo was awake again. If only there was something she could do.

"I will tell you," she finally said, turning to him again. "Once you're feeling a bit better."

Softly she stroked his strands out of his face. Leo didn't bother to look up at her anymore. He stared into space and looked incredibly tired again.

She sighed. It was best this way. He wouldn't be able to grasp everything anyway. And maybe there was a slight chance of him taking it better once he'd recovered from that first confusion.

So, she remained where she was, staring out of the window too. The silence between them was frightful somehow, yet it felt good to know she wasn't 'alone' in here anymore. She listened to his breaths and the sound of the pillow whenever he moved a bit.

This was funny. A moment ago she would have done anything for him to open his eyes. There had been so much she wanted to say and now that it really had happened, she couldn't remember a word of what she wanted to say.

"There was Max," she heard Leo's voice again and turned to him. She looked puzzled though.

"I'm remembering," Leo said, not looking at her. "He called me and I was initially shocked to see him of all people. But I don't know what happened then."

Diane sighed and looked down to the ground. So it had been Max she'd heard back on that street.

"There was a guy with a baseball bat... And you were in his way."

She heard Leo turn his head and immediately felt him staring at her again.

"You were there?" he asked silently.

She nodded.

"I-I knew something was gonna happen," she started slowly, looking at him again with guilty eyes. "I thought I'd die, finding you were there too. And...and I was too late to do anything. That thing hit you with me standing only a few feet away."

Leo didn't say anything at first. He stared at her again and she wasn't able to tell whether he understood or was thinking about it. But then, he took a deep breath.

"I was here," he said quietly. "That day. I wanted to talk to you, but no one opened."

"You wanted to talk to me?" she repeated. "Why?"

"I wanted to apologize," he explained. "For everything I'd said back at Roger and Carmen's place. I had been mean and unfair. Whatever happened isn't your fault."

"You should have told me before," she said, looking at him sincerely.

"I thought you'd be shocked," he answered.

"I was at first," she replied. "But then I figured I built up that image of you by myself. You never confirmed anything. And Carmen had been right. It's still you. So, I think I owe you an apology too. I've overreacted a lot."

"I... There was too much at stake," Leo continued slowly. "I'm sorry about that. Maybe there's a chance it'll change now, that... "

But he wasn't able to finish. Suddenly everything he felt during the past few weeks came back him and mixed with that terrible headache he had to force himself not to start shivering again. He seriously thought he'd been over that. But apparently he had been more than wrong assuming it only for a light second. And for a moment he wasn't even sure if the pain he felt came from his injured body or from deeper within. So, he turned his eyes away from her as quick as possible. She shouldn't see. Even though there was no need in hiding anymore, he couldn't tell her.

Diane watched him with sad eyes. She could sense what was going on inside of him and wondered whether she should mention her connection to Max; tell him she knew. But it would mean to unintentionally bring him back into his mind. No, it was no option at this point.

"Leo...I," she started, but he cut her off quickly.

"Do you know about Carmen?" he asked desperately. "He had been there too. I...I just want to know if he is alright."

"I haven't seen him anywhere," she whispered, her eyes filling with tears again.

Seeing him like that almost broke her heart. Leo sighed and fixated the window again.

It was strange, yet unbelievable somehow. He nearly died and still worried about someone else first. Maybe he only didn't grasp everything yet. Or maybe, only fractals of that night came back to him and he had his problems controlling all the emotions they caused.

Diane shook her head slightly and more to herself. No, this was just him. She didn't know him very long, but she knew it suited him. So, what now?

She put her hands in the pockets of her jacket again. It was then she even noticed she was still wearing it. No surprise really. She shrugged. After all, there had been more important things than worrying about it. But suddenly she felt something and pulled out a piece of folded paper, looking at it doubtfully. Why was she carrying that?

She unfolded it slowly and noticed her eyes growing wide in surprise.

The picture Max had given to her stared back at her. That very old photo of Leo. And once more, she couldn't take her eyes away from it. They had just met. That's what Max had been saying at least. And from what he had told her, the situation Leo was in now wasn't so unlike the one in that picture; many years ago. A shy, caring, friendly guy who was put in a situation he couldn't control. He almost made a vulnerable image back then; the same as he did now. And still, he seemed not to care what would happen. Or maybe if he did, he simply swallowed all the fears inside and daringly went down the path opening before him.

She had to smile slightly. In a way Max had been right. This picture reminded her so much of what he had achieved. She looked over at him again. She had been so scared to talk to him, yet she immediately felt how very soothing his presence was although he didn't say anything anymore. And sure, it hadn't been his decision to be here, but he was alive. Max even had been right about that one. Just looking at him indeed made her forget everything around her.

But all of a sudden, almost smacked herself in the face. With big eyes she got up quickly, staring at the young man disbelievingly.

"Oh my God, he was right," she thought and felt her jaw drop. As hard as she tried she couldn't take her eyes off of him anymore.

"He was right," she whispered shocked.

Leo on the other hand turned to her again. "Right?"

His eyes wandered down to her hands and soon he discovered that picture she was holding. His look changed. His eyes grew wider and slowly he tried to support himself with his arms getting up.

"What's that?" he asked not leaving the picture out of his sight.

"I... I thought he was kidding," she continued, not having noticed his stare yet. "I never thought... But he knew. He was right."

"Where did you get that from?" Leo asked a little louder now, his body shivering. It was exhausting to hold his body up when he was hardly able to feel any muscles in it. "Diane? Where did you get that picture from?"

"I...,"slowly her eyes wandered down her arm too. Only then she noticed she was still holding it. And as soon as that realization entered her head, she tried to hide it behind her back. "I... I didn't..."

"Oh my God, you were there," he continued and if he'd been able to use his proper voice, Diane swore he would sound very angry. "You...you were at the office!"

"Leo, I..."

"You've talked to him," he continued without hesitation.

"Let me explain," she almost cried. "I needed to know. And I figured among all people, he was the one to know."

"You had no right doing that," he screamed, but she noticed how desperate his gaze got every second. "What were you thinking? I told you not to snoop around in this matter deeper. And the first thing you do is grilling Max?"

"I was worried about you," she replied. "And I needed to know whether it was true."

"You didn't believe me then?"

"I was shocked," she screamed back at him. "You would have been too. And I thought, as your best friend, he should stand beside you in this."

"You don't know..."

"Oh yes, I do," she interrupted him, causing him to look at her even more shocked. For a moment it seemed as though all the blood that was still left in him drained from his face. "I know. Everything. It took a while, but then he told me. And I wanted so much to help you, because... because I love you."

He froze in shock and stared at her with his eyes growing even bigger. And the silence following then could tear down walls. She held her breath. Unbelievable she told him. She didn't plan to. And he didn't react at all.

"He... he talks to you?" And suddenly he sounded so much different. Almost sentimental and desperate again. His voice was shaking as though he was about to cry any minute.

She thought about how to react but then just nodded.

Leo immediately swallowed hard and fell back into his pillow, looking away. He was breathing heavily again.

"I'm sorry. I just...," she started, but he just closed his eyes shaking his head slightly.

"Please, don't," he whispered and she was sure she saw some tears glistening in the corner of his eyes.

Diane clutched her hands over her mouth. It was unbearable to see him lying there. Again, she'd managed to upset him in so many ways. And worst of all he didn't even say anything. The pure mention of Max's name made him fall into that deep groundless hole again. She shook her head. She'd closed her eyes before it for so long. And yet it was true. It was there, written in his face for everyone to see.

And suddenly she was more determined than ever not to say anything to Max at all. Hell, he'd find out soon enough. But if he really hurt him that much, what good would it be anyway?

She looked around with tears rolling down her cheeks. There must be something she could do to ease his pain though. She stared at the window and suddenly something crossed her mind.

So, quickly she moved over to the door. She was about to open it, but it sprung open just as her hand touched the door-knob. Diane almost jumped away.

Clara stormed inside with some guy behind him. He almost crashed into her.

"I'm sorry," he said, looking at her flabbergasted. "Diane? Is everything alright?"

She nodded as though out of her mind, but stared through him.

"I've brought my friend," he said. "To look at Leo."

Again, she just nodded. Then she turned around once more. Leo hadn't moved a bit, but she could still see his chest rise and fall uncontrollably, telling her he indeed was crying.

"I am sorry, Leo," she whispered.

Thus, she took a look at Clara again and rushed past him.

"I'll be back soon," she managed to say to him, before the door behind her flung shut.

….

"So you really think this woman can help?" Carmen asked a little unsure.

He sat on the leather couch in Max's office watching Max walking up and down. He was restless somehow. Probably because he didn't really want to be here. Or maybe because he was in doubt this worked at all. Or against all odds he was nervous too. Either way, Carmen couldn't say for sure.

"I guess so," Max answered, eying the little book Carmen had found underneath a pile of other papers on the desk and which stated the names of hundreds of backers; mainly old women. He took it and browsed through the pages in search for one name. "As I said, her husband was a lawyer and believe me, she is pretty good when it comes to this kind of stuff."

Then he moved over sitting down next to Carmen, who looked down at his feet again. The whole situation made him extremely uneasy. What if something went wrong? What if that indeed was the only chance to see Roger again and what if they screwed it?

"She helped Leo and me in jail too, you know?" Max said calmly. As Carmen lifted his head again he found the older man looking at him softly. "Don't you worry that much. Everything will be alright and Roger will be here again in no time."

Carmen couldn't help but smile back at him.

"What will happen to you?" he asked after a while. "When the money for that production is missing, he will get you."

And suddenly Carmen sounded worried again. Max bid his lips. He'd hoped that question wouldn't come up. He looked away rather quickly again and answered quietly.

"Don't waste a thought about that. He won't dare to do anything."

"Max," Carmen had his hands turned to fists and tried hard to keep them steady on his knees. "What are you planning?"

"Nothing," Max answered, turning around and looking concerned.

"You underestimate him," Carmen shook his head slowly, but never lost the older man's eyes. "To believe he won't do anything is madness. Unless you have planned something."

"Believe me. There is nothing I am planning," he replied once more.

"Don't take me for stupid then," Carmen's voice almost somersaulted as he got up and for a split second looked like a wall, blocking the seemingly only way out of this. "Max. Please be honest with me. What will happen to you when he finds out?"

Max stared back at him but didn't dare to say anything for a long time. Carmen's gaze was so desperate and his voice was shaking. And even though Max knew what was probably gonna happen, he couldn't just tell him. Carmen already worried about so much. And once Roger was back, everything that was going to happen afterwards would be much easier to bear. For both of them. And still, Carmen wouldn't let go until he got an answer.

Max took a deep breath. But just as he wanted to reply, there was that long awaited knock on the door.

"Oh, thank God," he thought. Carmen stepped aside. He looked even more nervous now.

"Don't you worry that much," Max repeated and put his hand on Carmen's shoulder as he passed him. He smiled compassionately at him. "Everything will be okay."

It was when he opened the door and the little gray lady entered, Carmen was beginning to feel a little lighter. But basically, because the old woman had her way to sooth him a lot. In fact she even made him smile a lot and after a while Carmen was sure he'd hardly ever met anyone funnier than that lady. She sat beside him all the time while Max explained what they needed her help for. And even though he skipped a lot of things, she seemed to notice the anxiousness inside the younger man and started to pet his hand from time to time. Up to the point when Carmen started to wonder if she saw through all this. Maybe she knew a lot more just reading between the lines. Who knew for sure after all?

"Oh Bialy, it'll be my pleasure to try and help you and your partner," she said after a while.

Both of them, Max as well as Carmen sighed in relief. They'd hoped for that point at least. Convincing her hadn't been that hard though. So, maybe something about Max's 'former' methods of work must have been true.

"I've heard a lot of your Mr. Bloom and was literally dying to meet him one day," the old lady smiled at Carmen's confused face, softly stroking over his head once.

Max on the other hand chuckled.

"I'm afraid that's not my partner, dear," he answered.

"He's not?" For a second she seemed to be disappointed, looking from Carmen to Max and back. But then that smile appeared on her face again. "Well, never mind. You need to introduce him to me one day. If your friends are that handsome already, I seriously can't wait to meet him."

Max's smile fell though and he quickly looked down to his feet, holding his arms crossed.

"You...you haven't met Leo?" Carmen dared to raise his voice now and looked at her puzzled.

"Oh no, dear," she grinned at him cheerfully. "Max just stopped seeing me from one day to another and for a long time I wondered whether I did something wrong. But then I heard of him working with a partner now. And after that horrible story of both of them having been arrested, well...I was able to help them back when but I never met his partner. Max on the other hand called me again some years later and I was more than happy to back up his shows from time to time. But I haven't been here in...oh years and years. And as a matter of fact, I never met that ominous Mr. Bloom everyone is talking about when Max's name is mentioned."

Carmen looked up at Max. So, it must be true. He didn't know whether to laugh or cry that moment. He'd only heard rumors about Max and those little old lady's. And what did she say? He stopped having contact with them?

Carmen sighed slightly. He knew the reason without anyone mentioning it. There was no need to. It had been Leo. Everything had been Leo. And again, Carmen felt incredibly foolish not having seen it before.

Max still had his head turned away from her. He didn't want to talk about it for sure, but before Carmen could even reply anything to her, Max's voice was to be heard again.

"I'm afraid that won't be happening," he hoarsely replied, causing both Carmen and the old woman to look at him. "He...he ain't here anymore."

"Not? Oh, I am sorry," she said. "I didn't want to put my nose into things that don't concern me."

"That's alright," Max answered, smiling at her softly again. "You couldn't know."

"But as I said, I am more than willing to help," she said, getting up. "So, all you want me to do is go there and pay pay the bail for that Mr. DeBris?"

"Yes," Max nodded. "But no one must know you know any of us. That's why I told you all of this. We need to make up a story about why you are there."

"Oh Maxy," she smiled knowingly at him. "How long have we known each other now? Don't take me for stupid. I guessed it already. The way you spoke about it was more than obvious."

"Was it?" For once Max sounded more than uncertain.

She had to laugh watching him. "Yes, but don't worry," she spoke again. "I will appear as his lawyer."

"You can do that?" Carmen asked in surprise.

"Sweetheart, no one will suspect a thing," she grinned at him, stroking over his cheek again. "Believe me. No one ever could compete with me when it came to legal terms. Except for my husband, but well. He was a lawyer."

Carmen smiled back at her and nodded once. He felt enormously grateful towards her suddenly. After all, she didn't have to do this, but never resisted for a moment. Whatever it was that convinced her, he would never forget that.

"Thanks a lot," Max said to her and handed over a little suitcase he'd prepared while waiting for the old lady. "I owe you for that!"

Smilingly, she took it and got up, shaking her head.

"Oh no," she answered softly. "I know what it's like to miss someone."

She turned and winked at Carmen. He looked pretty amazed in that moment and again wondered what else the old woman seemed to guess through that bunch of suggestions. Then without a further word she headed to the door, but stopped on the threshold again.

"I will bring him to the arranged venue as soon as he is out," she added.

"How can I repay you for that?" Max asked humbly. Carmen 's head rose again. Another tone in his voice; another shading of his personality he'd never before witnessed. This was crazy.

But the old woman simply shook her head once more.

"Oh Bialy, you've done enough over the past few years," she said. "Let's say we're even."

Carmen and Max smiled at her. But when she was about to leave, Max stepped closer to her.

"Wait," he gently said. "One more thing."

Carmen saw him bend forward. He whispered something into the ear of the woman and she started to smile again, after listening to it. And although Carmen couldn't make out what he told her, it must have been something nice for her face immediately spread into a wide smile again. She reached out and put her hand on Max's cheek. It looked as though she wanted to reply anything, but then she just nodded. So, whatever it was Max had needed to tell her, it must have been something nice. At least that's what he suggested.

Then, she turned and left the office. Carmen even kept staring at the door when it fell shut again; almost as though he doubted this had been real.

"She will manage it. Believe me," Max said, having watched him for a moment in silence.

"How...?"

"How what? How she's gonna do it?"

But Carmen shook his head.

"How do you know people like that without anyone having noticed? Ever?" Carmen asked in total awe, turning his head slowly towards Max again. He stared at him in disbelief for a moment.

"I told you I knew some people willing to help me still," he chuckled.

Seeing it, Carmen couldn't resist to smile as well. What did it matter whether the rumors were true or not? Max must have changed. She even confirmed it. And he felt bad having doubted it for so long. But this woman had been proof enough. And even though Max hadn't answered his question about what might happened if Pembroke found out– a fact they would still have to face – Max didn't back away from the idea of doing this. And what for? To help Roger. Someone who'd quit on him; who'd attacked him verbally and physically and who'd been completely against him without trying to understand what was so obvious to Carmen now.

He shook his head again, staring to the ground. This was exactly what a family would do. At least he'd always imagined one to act like this. And that realization made him feel curiously sentimental all of a sudden.

"Max?" he whispered.

"Hm?"

"Thank you!"

….

It was hard to move anywhere in that small cell they were in. Roger sat in the back corner on the ground, looking around suspiciously. He'd known participating in that riot had been dangerous. Hell, Carmen even had said so in the beginning, but the way they'd arrested him had been more than strange now that he had some time thinking about it. All those officers coming out of nowhere. It had been almost as though they've been watching him and had just been waiting to strike. But it couldn't be. There were so many others in that cell with him. He'd felt relieved to the core when he found Shirley, Scott, Kevin and Brian here too. But none of them had experienced the same sort of brutal circling by seemingly thousands as he had. Well, no one could mourn the absence of brutality for that matter, but he appeared to be the only one who had to face an act like that. It felt more and more as though someone wanted to make sure he couldn't have been able to escape at all costs.

And worst of all, there was no sign of Carmen anywhere. He'd been looking around the whole night and the following day. He knew every face that passed him, entering the cell or even just walking by. And each time Roger sighed deeply. In a way he was relieved not to find him here. It meant he couldn't have been arrested after all. On the other hand, it could mean a lot more. Even worse things could have happened to him and there was absolutely no sign of Carmen still being alive as well.

"I should never have left him," Roger murmured, putting his head in his hands.

"You got separated," Kevin answered. "In a crowd like that it happens easily."

"Exactly," Brian jumped in. "And Carmen ain't stupid. He will have gotten his ass outta there."

His four roommates stood closely beside him. They've been through every possibility a thousand times over and still Roger worried a lot.

"It was a good thing something like that riot happened though," Shirley said after a moment. "It was about time to do something about the public perception of all of us being just perverts."

"I doubt one riot will change it that easily," Scott answered. "Especially since attempts of changing our situation had been there before."

Roger nodded slightly, looking up at him. "You mean the incident with that devil's son, right?"

"You've heard of it?"

"Of course," he said. "Who hasn't? It surprises me more Pembroke succeeded in burying it in oblivion."

"Well, after so many years without him even our community forgets," Scott replied.

"I doubt that," Roger jeered. "Maybe they just don't speak about him anymore."

"You think?" Brian grinned. Then he turned around to their other cellmates.

"Does anyone here still remember the name 'Scott Pembroke'?" he yelled into the crowd with a tone of pure amusement. He obviously wanted to prove something to Roger.

Almost everyone around them lifted their heads and stared into Brian's direction immediately.

"Of course!"

"Who doesn't remember him?"

"Scott Pembroke was a hero to so many!"

"I wish he was still there."

"Yeah, he's right. With Scott this might have worked out."

Brian turned back to Roger, smiling.

"You see?" he said. "No one forgets!"

Roger had to laugh. Brian always had a way of stating his point quite clearly. But then he shook his head.

"But don't you see?," he asked. "Even with him in our midst we couldn't do anything. They've murdered him. So how are we supposed to stop it when not even he could?"

The four nodded agreeing. No one knew what to do if they were honest with themselves. And in a way Roger had a point there. The story of Pembroke's son getting murdered because he stood up against him was something each of them had heard before. Their situation seemed pretty hopeless really.

"He ain't dead," a voice sounded in between the crowd causing a lot of people to lift there heads again, including Roger.

"What?" he asked, still trying to find the person who said it.

A tall man got up and made his way in the middle of all of them. He looked at Roger and his friends with a determined sparkle in his eyes.

"Scott Pembroke ain't dead," he repeated a little louder.

"What are you talking about?" someone around them asked.

"Did he really say that?" another one asked.

"Have they hit you on the head?"

"I was there all those years ago. There were thousands surrounding him and beating him."

"This can't be!"

"Scott Pembroke is dead!"

But the guy simply stared around, listening to all the questions and accusations around them without reacting at all.

"I'm telling you, he isn't. He is alive," he remained stubborn.

"How do you know?" Roger asked from his spot on the ground.

Once more their eyes met.

"Because I've seen him," he answered. "In that night. In front of the Stonewall. He was there."

"What?" A murmur ran through the crowd. A lot of people turned their heads to one another and started whispering to each other. Some of them even stared at the young man in pure surprise and with wide eyes. Only a few stood up in excitement.

"You've seen him?"

"If he's alive, they lied to us."

"Or made it up!"

"Or maybe you are making it up!"

The young man looked around again, but now he seemed a little more uncertain than he had been just seconds ago. Roger got up and moved over to him. He put his hand on his shoulder and looked at the others. He almost appeared like a wall next to him and everyone immediately shut up. No one dared to come any closer, intimidated by the tall man seemingly taking sides.

"Can it be you just have confused him with someone else?" Roger asked.

But the guy shook his head quickly.

"It was him," he said. "I am a-hundred percent positive about that! He looks a little different now, but I would recognize that face anytime again."

"You mean, you've seen him before?" someone asked.

"Is that such a strange thing?" Roger stated. "Scott Pembroke wasn't a ghost or something. He wasn't the God everyone takes him for. He was a human being just like you and me and surely knew people as well."

"Yes, but so many have heard of him," another man said. "But only a few really know what he looks like."

"I met him once," the young man stated. "In an apartment on Christopher Street. We used to sleep wherever it was possible then. Nothing different from what many of us face now. He was there too along with a couple of others. I was fascinated by him. I had heard rumors about someone trying to convince people back then that we had just the same rights as everybody else. And when I found out it had been him I was eager to learn more about his ideas. But we sat there the whole night just talking normally about everything that was going on. In the streets and in each others lives. And it made me realize no one in there was different from the 'normal' population. Scott was a normal young man, who had enormous problems at home. Nothing none of us can recall as well. I remember saying 'Sounds like we all share exactly the same experiences'. And Scott just patted me on the shoulder replying 'See? Now you got it!'. So, believe me... It was him!"

No one dared to say anything for a long time. Most of the people stared to the ground thinking about it. Some others didn't take their eyes away from him though.

"So, if that's really true," one man started. "It was a lie. All of it."

"Yes! Like a conspiracy!"

"But if Scott really is still alive," a third man spoke. "Why didn't he return to Christopher Street that very night?"

"I don't know," the young man answered honestly. "But I'm sure he must have had a good reason not to."

"It doesn't matter," Kevin jumped into the conversation. "If it's true, he's returned now!"

"Yes, he's right."

"With Scott we can actually achieve something."

"So, where is he now?" Roger asked. "If you saw him that's fine. But where is he?"

The young man shook his head though. "I have no idea what happened. But it seems each time a huge raid like that happens he is there somehow."

"Means HE is the cause of it?" Roger asked.

"Well, it is possible," another man stated next to Roger. "It ain't a secret Pembroke Senior pretty much disapproved of his son's choice of living."

"I really doubt that," Roger turned his back on him. "What's the point of hiding all those years and only turn up there whenever another raid happens? It makes no sense to me!"

"Funny, I thought you of all knew why he was there," the young man said, looking at Roger sincerely.

"Me? Why me?"

Roger turned again, finding the eyes of that guy almost piercing him. It was then he realized he'd seen him before. His own eyes grew bigger in amazement.

"You...you were the one talking to my partner when we arrived there," he whispered.

"Your partner?" The younger man couldn't believe it.

But before anyone could say another word, someone opened the huge steel-door at the end of the corridor that parted two of their cells and a small group of people entered the room. The first two police-officers knew how to shut them up immediately. They took out their billies and let them slide over the bars in front of them, making them sound like a rhythmic thunder.

"Shut up! All of you!"

They made their way through the aisles and looked like they were escorting someone.

Roger, as well as the others pressed their heads to the bars to make out whether they brought in someone new or not. But actually, their way of behavior was way to 'gentle' to escort just another fag. They were heading directly towards them. Roger and the others quickly stepped away from the bars a few inches, knowing perfectly well they would hit them with pleasure if they stood too close.

But no one lifted a billy. On the contrary they simply stopped in front of them and looked directly into Roger's face.

"Debris?"

One of them stepped forwards. A grumpy looking graying fat guy, reading out the name from a clipboard he was carrying around.

"Yes?" Roger asked and stepped back a little more, instinctively holding his hands up in front of Kevin, Brian and the other two.

The fat walrus stared at him in amusement. He seemed to enjoy the fear they cast among the fairies a great deal.

"Your lawyer is here," he said and stepped aside to reveal an old little lady who grinned at him cheerfully.

"My lawyer?" he looked at Shirley who stood next to him. She simply shrugged though.

"Isn't that one of Max's old backers?" Brian whispered into his ear.

Taking a second look Roger must admit he was right. He was sure he'd seen her before even though that was a long time ago. This was strange. What in heaven's name would a backer of that traitor do here?

"Mr. DeBris?" she spoke very distinctively. "I've brought the money to bail you out, just like we've talked about."

Roger wasn't able to hide the surprise in his face. He opened his mouth to say something, but wasn't able to, for the old woman spoke again quickly. It was almost as though she wanted to prevent him from saying anything at all.

"I figured you mentioned that amount because you wanted your friends to accompany you outside?!" She made it sound like a statement, although Roger noticed immediately it was a question meant for him.

"Yes...erm...yes," he coughed once. "That's what I planned."

He noticed he had no choice but to play along. Maybe if this worked he was able to ask about it when they were outside. The old lady on the other hand nodded once and turned to the fat guy again.

"So, I guess you're gonna tell me where to pay that bail and then leave my client and his friends out of there."

"Certainly Ma'am," he answered, touching his hat once and lowered his head a little. "Will you follow me then? And you two," he pointed at two officers standing next to him. "Get them out of there. And don't harm them."

Roger and the others stood there shocked. They stared at the people in front of them in disbelief when the lock to their cell turned. Three or four policemen rushed into the cell, pushing the crowd aside and thus formed what looked like a small aisle for them to walk out of this nightmare.

"Come on," one of them said, putting handcuffs on Roger and the other four. "Don't dawdle around."

A little reluctant they followed him. Whatever this meant none of them knew, but it was a chance at last to get out of here.

"Talk to Scott," he heard a voice, causing him to turn his head while he was still moving. And from the corner of his eyes, Roger saw the young man in between the crowd, looking after him.

"Talk to Scott," he repeated.. "He will know what to do!"

"Hey, shut up there fairy," one of the policemen rushed by his side and it didn't take more than a heartbeat and the young guy felt his billy in his rips. Roger saw him sinking to his knees, but he wasn't able to do anything right now if he didn't want to blow it all. So, he followed them outside that huge cell-room and heard the door behind him, which was shut with a loud bang.

….

Carmen went up and down for over an hours now. No matter what he tried it was impossible for him to relax now. His whole body was shivering and every now and then he stared out of the windows of the little restaurant they were in. From time to time he sat down next to Max, but got up only seconds later to run in circles again. Max watched him the whole time. He could understand his nervousness too well and feared he might made it worse by just saying something. But then again, Carmen was driving him crazy too.

"Oh, please do me one favor, will ya?" he asked after a while, leaning his head to the wall next to him. "Will you sit down? Just for five minutes? Please, I beg you!"

Carmen looked at him a little angry at first, but relaxed his face quickly. He sighed once and then nodded. Slowly he sat down in front of him and tried to stay calm.

"I'm sorry," he said. "All this waiting kills me though."

"I know," Max replied. "But you won't speed them up by walking through this place like a lunatic. Try to act normal."

"I'm sorry," Carmen crossed his arms and looked at his feet again, inhaling deeply.

"She will succeed," Max said, watching him still. "Hold on a little longer. Roger will be with you again."

Carmen nodded.

"He can't just come and take him away again," Max said a lot quieter now. He seemed to sense what the younger man was worrying about, even though he didn't speak about it. "Even someone as powerful as Pembroke needs a reason to arrest a person just like that."

"He will find a way," Carmen answered and looked up into Max's eyes. "If he really wants to, he will."

"It sounded to me more like a coincidental trade than a planned one," Max said. "He wasn't prepared for you to jump between him and me. The surprise was written in his face that moment."

"Yeah but the way I see it, is that he will do anything to try it again now," Carmen answered. "He loathes Roger. More than me possibly."

"Why?" Max asked. "Have they met before?"

"No," the slender man shook his head. "But he blames everything on him. In his eyes Roger even encourages me in living that abnormal way of life. And it didn't change after he shot the last curse."

Carmen stopped at that point for a moment and shook his head as if to wipe away the memories that obviously teared him up inside.

"Plus, his plan didn't work out as he thought," he said. "I'm pretty sure he hoped I would either leave town or come crawling back to his stoop after a few days. None of it happened. And since we had that deal he couldn't really do anything to me or Roger without fearing I show up again with everyone noticing he'd been lying. Because if people knew what he did..."

"I know," Max cut him off. "It would lead to a lot more questions and most likely people would start to directly attribute all this agitation to him. A danger through and through."

Carmen nodded.

"I... I just want him back," Carmen whispered lowering his head once more. "I don't care what he does and I feel a lot braver when Roger is around."

Max watched him again. He felt sorry for the younger man in more ways than he could describe. In a way he felt just like him. And that was definitely the worst part of it. Knowing completely what he was going through and how he felt didn't help a bit though. He'd done everything he could and wasn't able to add any more than what he already did. Even though he wished to do more, he felt more helpless now than he had before.

"Forgive me," he said after a while and closed his eyes, knowing perfectly well Carmen was looking at him again. He could sense it. "I've done you harm and I never intended it."

But Carmen shook his head determinedly.

"If it hadn't been for you," he said as Max opened his eyes again, looking more desperate than ever before. "I wouldn't have come that far to be honest. He probably would have gotten me back on that street. Or I would be alone now with no hope of seeing the one I love ever again. And then he probably have gotten me in a way or another. So, no blame on my side at all."

Max didn't reply, but put his head in his hands staring at the table with clenched teeth. And for the first time Carmen noticed how much his hands shook too. He felt selfish all of a sudden. In all his despair and nervousness he'd completely ignored Max's feelings through all of this. He probably was shattered even more. And he managed to stay strong for Carmen's sake. He'd lost the person he loved; probably more than anyone else in this world, including himself and still managed to apologize to Carmen for something that wasn't his fault.

Carmen's insights gave a jolt.

"I am glad you know though," he said.

Max looked up again.

"It feels good to finally being able to talk to someone about all this," Carmen tried to smile. "And I never meant to burden you with my shitload of a past, but still... thank you for being there."

And for once Max smiled too.

"That's what friends are for, right?"

"He asked me to marry him," Carmen said then without thinking.

Max on the other hand looked a bit taken aback. He surely didn't expect something like that.

"He did?" he asked then. "Wow. I don't really know what to say. That's wonderful... Forgive my stuttering. I just... I never expected you to tell me."

"I know," Carmen replied. "But I want you to know. I should have told you before."

And without hesitation Max got up and marched towards the younger man. Carmen felt his body stiffen as Max flung his arms around him.

"I'm glad you did," he whispered into his ear. "And I am really happy for you."

Quickly Carmen relaxed and had to smile. Max on the other hand let go of him again and looked into his face. His eyes were wet and he smiled too.

"You belong," he said. "I didn't wanna see it for so long and I am sorry for that. But it's you and Roger. Always. You belong together. It was no coincidence he found you in the streets that day. This was intended to happen. I've never been more convinced of anything."

"Thank you," Carmen answered, resting his head on Max's. "Thank you for everything."

They didn't care at all what this must look like. Neither of them even thought about someone might calling the cops seeing it. This moment belonged to them for once. They've made it that far. And if two people as different as Max and Carmen could overcome their differences, everyone could. The certainty of that stood in the room unvoiced.

They only parted when they heard the little bell on the door, which opened and told everyone inside someone was entering.

Both of them looked over and for a moment Max had the impression of Carmen almost falling over. His face got pale and his eyes wide seeing the tall man entering the restaurant, accompanied by a little old woman.

Roger was looking around rather bemused. He happened not to know exactly what he was doing there, whereas the old woman immediately stared over to the unlikely pair, staring at them in disbelief and grinned friendly.

"Oh my God," Carmen said hoarsely and got up.

It was then Roger caught sight of him and for a moment stood there like frozen. But then suddenly, he almost ran towards his partner who wasn't able to move as well.

Both of them flung their arms around one another as soon as they reached each other. Roger buried his face in Carmen's hair, whereas Carmen started to sob uncontrollably, tightening his grip on the taller man even more.

"I though I'd never see you again," he cried.

Roger on the other hand started to stroke his head tenderly and kissed him softly on the forehead.

"Don't cry," he whispered and wiped away Carmen's tears with his thumb. "It's over. I hoped so much nothing happened to you. Thank God, you are alive."

Max and the old woman watched them from a little distance. He smiled too, but dropped it quickly.

He turned over to the old woman and took her aside a little.

"So?" He looked at her full of expectation. But to his horror she shook her head and her face turned into a sad image of regret.

"I tried," she said. "He wasn't there. No one had his name listed anywhere."

Max sighed. "I see," he said and tried hard not to let his disappointment show. "Thank you for trying though. I owe you big deal."

She shook her head though.

"You owe me nothing," she said. "I understand it now. Why you have dropped me and all the others all of a sudden. And that reason was well worth it."

"You know what?" he tried to cover up the sadness inside by playing dumb. But he knew very well she'd notice immediately. Somehow a lot of older people could see through a masquerade like that.

The old woman reached out and put her hand on his cheek again. She smiled compassionately.

"Don't even try to hide it," she said. "You love who you'll love. It doesn't matter what people think."

"I..."

"I really hope you'll find him," she said. "And maybe you'll introduce him to me one day."

Thus she turned and left, leaving Max a little bewildered. He stared after her for a moment, but then turned as well and closed his eyes. He had to laugh. So, there was no sign of Leo having been arrested. Thinking about it the idea had been stupid anyway. After all, who would arrest someone who was as good as dead anyway.

He turned his head towards Roger and Carmen again and decided to get over there once more.

"Max," Carmen said cheerfully as he approached them.

But obviously Roger hadn't noticed him yet. He whirled around in a hurry and looked furious.

"What the hell are you doing here?" he screamed and within a second gripped him by his shirt again and pulled him closer. "Didn't I tell you not to come near us again?"

He let go of him only seconds later, but almost thrust him away from them, causing Max to stumble into the seats of their table. Roger was quick though. Before he even grasped what just had happened he was bend over him once more.

"Roger," Carmen yelled after him, grabbing his arm. But he couldn't do much.

"What else is it that you want to destroy? Where's your old pal Pembroke?" he screamed. "You just can't see anyone living in peace, can you?"

"ROGER!"

Carmen jumped between them, pushing himself protecting over Max. Roger looked at him in shock for a moment, but Carmen didn't take his gaze away from him.

"Will you stop it for heaven's sake? What's gotten into you?"

"What? What's gotten into me?" Roger asked in disbelief. "Carmen... He is the reason this all happened. Who knows what he is planning now? I'm half expecting to find Pembroke lurking behind the next wall, marching in here any moment and arresting what's left of us."

"NO," the younger man yelled back."Will you please listen before blindly attacking him without thinking any further? He helped me getting you out of there."

"He what?"

"Without him, I wouldn't have come out of that crowd," Carmen continued. "And he's the reason you are standing here now. It was his idea, his money and his plan. So, don't you dare to attack him like that."

Carmen turned around and stretched his hand in Max's direction, helping him up again. He looked at him compassionately.

"Everything alright?" he asked.

Max simply nodded and looked a little scared over at Roger, rubbing his neck.

"What happened here?" Roger asked quietly, staring from Carmen to Max and back. "You two get along now?"

Carmen nodded. "Yes. You see, I realized what kind of idiot I have been. You have been right from the beginning," he explained. "He isn't at all what I thought he was. And I owe him big deal for everything."

Roger's jaw dropped and he turned to Max.

"Is that true?" he asked.

Max hesitated a second. It might have been he feared another attack, but then he took a deep breath.

"I... erm... It was the least I could do," he answered slowly, but remaining in a safe distance to the taller man. "After all that happened... He should have you back. Carmen without Roger ain't possible."

Roger just continued his unbelieving stare. He gave the impression of a statue for a moment and Max didn't know what to think. He even looked over at Carmen in a questioning way. The younger man though only stared back at Roger.

But suddenly Roger rushed forward and a moment later Max found himself entwined in a bear hug. He couldn't believe it at first, but the longer it lasted the more real it became. Roger was embracing him. And he had something desperate about him that very moment. Was didn't really know how to react.

"Thank you," The taller man whispered again and Max swore you could feel tears dripping on his shoulders. "I didn't want to believe you were really able to do something like that. Please, forgive me and accept my apology. Thank you for helping Carmen. Thank you so much."

"Don't mention it," Max only whispered back. And he meant it.

"Well, that's what a family is there for, right?" they heard Carmen's voice and finally Roger let go of the smaller man. Both of them looked over at him.

"You're absolutely right. Speaking of which, where is Leo?" Roger asked, but only earned a look from Max as though he'd start to cry any moment. Quickly he turned his gaze away and didn't answer. Carmen on the other hand shook his head on him.

"He's...," he started but didn't know how to finish the sentence. "We've lost him."

The last part was nothing more than a whisper. Roger's eyes widened again.

"What do you mean lost?" he asked.

"Just what he said," Max finally spoke. "Leo's dead. There was nothing we could have done. So the less said about it the better."

Roger couldn't believe it. He simply stared back at him.

"Will you excuse me?" Max continued, but sounded a lot calmer again. "It's good to have you back, Roger. I'm pretty sure you two have a lot to talk about."

"Max, where are you going?" Carmen asked and almost rushed after him, but Roger held him back.

"Nowhere," Max answered. "I...I just need a little time for myself. I'll see you later."

Then he turned and left the restaurant, leaving Roger and Carmen flabbergasted.

"He's devastated," Carmen tried to explain."Please, don't be mad at him. It's a lot he has to deal with right now."

"Leo's dead?" Roger looked at his partner with wide eyes. It seemed as though only parts of everything he'd heard right now were getting to him. Carmen nodded.

"He got injured. Badly," he answered. "And like he said...there was nothing any of us could have done..."

"Carmen," Roger spoke again, before he could explain any more. "We can't let him wander around alone."

"Who? Max?"

"He hasn't got it yet," Roger explained. "Didn't you see his face? He's suppressing it. It will come out though. And that grief is dangerous as long as he is alone."

They looked at each other again. Carmen understood what he wanted to imply here. So, he nodded.

"We can't just leave him in his despair," Roger continued. "Who knows what he is about to do?"

And without another word they ran after him.

~To be continued~


	15. The discovery

"You got lucky. You know that?"

Clara put that cup of tea on the little night stand next to Diane's bed and sat down at the edge of it, looking at Leo with a smile in his face. He lay there, just smiling back at him weakly. It was hard for him to move still and even though Clara's friend had given him something against the worst pain, his headache just wouldn't really vanish.

"You think this is luck?" Leo asked and pointed at his bandaged head. "In that case I don't wanna know what misfortune might have been."

He tried to laugh, but not in a sarcastic way.

"Well, you're alive and if we can believe his words you'll be as good as new again in a few weeks," Clara grinned back at him. "It's something I'd call a miracle. No internal injuries just a fat brain concussion. You'll have to be careful though. If you move too much or overexert yourself it can still become dangerous. And if you're feeling dizzy or sick you need to tell me immediately."

"I'm feelin' dizzy all the time," Leo answered, looking at the ceiling again.

"Doesn't surprise me either," Clara chuckled. "You're a tough one really. I've never seen anyone joking around after being that close to heaven's gates."

Leo chose not to respond anymore. His face had changed and nothing of the cheerful young man of a few seconds ago was there anymore. Clara watched him for a moment until his smile fell. It was as though he was drifting away. His eyes were open but he simply stared into space and the look on his face was almost heart-breaking. He looked tired though. His thoughts were back in that street for sure.

"I..er... I wish I could have spared you that," Clara said after a while, pointing at Leo's head but looked away quickly. "It happened so fast. I swear I'd never have that guy come so close to you if I'd noticed sooner."

"Don't blame yourself," Leo answered, turning his head in his direction. "I got sidetracked. I probably wouldn't have frozen there if..."

He couldn't finish it. He was thinking about it ever since his little argument with Diane. He had been so shocked to find Max there. Him of all people. He'd called him. Leo was sure about it. He wouldn't have turned otherwise. And as hard as he tried he couldn't forget his eyes. So fearful. So shocked. Leo hadn't believed his own eyes back then and even now he wasn't sure if he'd imagined it.

"That guy," he heard Clara's voice and looked up again. The dark haired man smiled at him though. "The one who called you. Was that him? The one you mentioned back in the Stonewall?"

Leo stared at him for quite a moment. He thought about what to answer. But even though the idea crossed his mind there was no need to pretend anything else. Clara saw through it anyway. And actually, there was absolutely no point in lying. Not if he really wanted to close that chapter forever.

"I was so shocked to see him there," Leo answered silently. "I didn't expect anyone to call me and he was the very last person I thought to see there. And...as much as I tried I just couldn't move. Not a bit."

"It appeared to me he was searching for you," Clara nodded. "Judged by his looks at least."

Leo jeered.

"He never wanted to see me again," he answered, still looking away. "Why would he search for me then?"

"You know," Clara got a little closer. "I can't shake the feeling there might have been more behind it."

"What do you mean?" Leo turned his head a little.

"Well, your story made sense. Absolutely," he started. "But seeing his face was... I don't know. What if he's had a good reason to act like he did?"

"You weren't there," Leo shook his hand and squinted his eyes in pain. "I never believed he'd do what he did. Everything was fine and all of a sudden everything had changed."

Clara bit his lips as Leo's voice grew louder and louder. Tears were glistening again in his eyes.

"You've been hurt," he tried to say anything to comfort him, but Leo shook his head.

"You cannot understand," he sobbed. His hands were formed to fists and his knuckles already began to turn white and started to shake as he held the blanket even tighter with every word. "He was everything to me. I didn't care what was gonna happen. I played along just so no one would notice anything. And everything I did; every time I did it...it was for him. And he didn't even notice. He used me. 'A toy' that's what he called me. All the horrible things he said still ring in my head every minute I'm awake. And then just when I thought I was getting along with it; when I was accepting the fact I probably was meant to be alone with all my compulsions and stuff; when I started to feel okay with no one enduring my presence longer than necessary... When I swore myself to forget he ever existed... He honestly dared to show up there. Turning everything I was beginning to turn a joke; something that just never happened; around once more. Bringing back all the times we laughed and talked and fought or just sat silently somewhere... So...So how dare you to tell me he's had a good reason? You know nothing about him. I thought I did. But apparently we both were wrong."

Clara looked at Leo compassionately and didn't dare to say another word. He simply watched the young man in front of him crying his heart out and wished he'd know what exactly he was talking about. Whatever happened between them destroyed him internally. He tried hard not to let it show, but right here, that very moment, Leo couldn't overcome the feelings insight which were obviously eating him up alive.

And even though he subconsciously put every tone of hatred into his outburst, Clara was able to read between the lines. Leo's tears were evidence enough. It hadn't been the stroke of that bat that injured him. No, his injuries happened way before and lay deeper within than the wound on his head.

"He tried to reach you," Clara said calmly after a while.

Leo didn't look up though. He wiped over his face with his arm but wouldn't manage to hide his wet face. Then, he exhaled deeply and looked away again.

"When that guy hit you," Clara continued. "He tried to reach you. And believe me, if that guy had been in his way he'd killed him that very moment. I have never seen such eyes before. Your friend tried to hold him back. They had no chance to get closer though, even if he didn't... But believe me, he didn't care that moment."

Leo didn't react. He didn't even bother to look at him again. He simply kept breathing and closed his eyes. Pain was clearly written in his face though. Every word Clara said reached and, by his looks, tortured him enormously.

"Which reminds me," Clara spoke a little lighter now. "That friend of yours..."

"You mean Carmen?" Leo asked indifferently, fixating the wall.

Clara nodded. "Carmen... How do you know him?"

"What do you mean how?" Leo asked and finally their eyes met again. "Just the way you meet people..."

"I see," Clara nibbled his finger as he put his hand to his mouth thinking.

Obviously he caught Leo's attention being so lost in his thoughts all of a sudden, for the young man propped up his body with his arms and moaned slightly. Clara whirled around hearing it and almost jumped towards him with a worried face.

"You shouldn't get up," he said, but Leo cut him off.

"Is he alright? Do you know anything?" he asked and his voice turned quite desperate again.

"I don't know," Clara shook his head. "He just crossed my mind again."

"Why?"

"Well, it's hard to explain," Clara said. "His name's 'Carmen' you say?"

"Why do you keep asking about his name?" Leo was kind of lost. "What's so strange? Yes, Carmen! Nothing that special if you think about it. You're calling yourself Clara after all..."

"Yeah, but that's exactly the point," Clara laughed out loud. "I call myself that."

"And he calls himself Carmen. What's the point?"

"What's his real name?" Clara just wouldn't let go. "The way you say it, it is an Alias."

"I don't understand," Leo shook his head and looked puzzled. "Why are you so interested in him all of a sudden? You've only seen him a minute or...wait..."

His eyes grew bigger in realization. He remembered that very strange behavior of Clara when he stood in front of Carmen that moment.

"You knew him right?" Leo asked, but just as the question left his mouth he thought it sounded pretty stupid. Carmen had had no idea who Clara was. So this couldn't be. "No. You said he reminded you of somebody."

"Do you even know his real name?" Clara asked in return. Something about this friend of Leo didn't make sense at all. "How long have you known him?"

"An eternity," Leo answered. "Must be ten years now..."

"Hm...," Clara got up and started to walk up and down the room. He was thinking again.

"And to conclude this silly Question-and-Answer-Game, no! I don't know his real name," Leo said, sinking back into his pillow in exhaustion. "He said it's something he keeps to himself and that's totally fine with me."

"So you don't really know him?" Clara asked.

"What's a name got to do with that?" Leo asked in return. "Carmen is one of the best friends I got. I don't care if he's named Robert, Dick or..."

"Or Scott?" Clara asked, causing Leo to look at him again in surprise.

"What?" Leo didn't believe his ears. This was crazy. He got immediately what Clara was implying here, but it made no sense. Throwing in something like this with no evidence at all was beyond reasonable.

"Think about it," Clara said excited and sat down on the bed again, staring straight at Leo. "What if everything was a big fat lie. What if Scott survived? Wouldn't that explain a lot?"

It took Leo a while to follow him. He wanted to answer something, but hesitated. But then, thinking about it again, it made even less sense to him.

"That's insane," he said determined. "Why him? What makes you think Carmen has something to do with it?"

"He looks amazingly like him," Clara replied.

"How do you know?"

"I've met him," Clara said. "Years ago. His former partner was one of my best friends."

"His...partner?"

Again, Clara nodded. "He got shot. That night Scott was murdered," he explained. "And I swear... Your Carmen is the spitting image of Scott Pembroke. Only a little older and his hair is different..."

Leo jeered unbelieving.

"You're crazy," he said. "If they murdered him, it cannot be."

"Unless they lied to everyone."

"Well, what's the point in doing that?" Leo asked again. "Why would they lie? And even if he survived, why would he turn his back on everything? From what you've told me a lot of people are still looking up to him. Why didn't he return? Why would he call himself 'Carmen Ghia' and live on the Upper East Side? Why wouldn't he use the tiny power he's got out there to do something if he was an oh-so-noble fighter for our rights then?"

"Carmen Ghia, hm?" Clara grinned.

"Oh no," Leo knew what this grin meant and fixated Clara once more. "Leave him out of this. This is crazy talk! He never said anything alike. And he certainly ain't the person to fight. He got attacked himself just a few weeks before. So no! Carmen is Carmen... Scott Pembroke is dead."

"Alright alright, if you say so," Clara gave up finally. It was no use anyway. And Leo probably knew the man better anyway. It was quite unbelievable he never told him anything if Clara's little theory was really true too. After ten years something would surely have slipped out if him. And in a way he had to admit, Leo was right. There were too many things which didn't make sense at all.

But still...

He'd never seen anyone looking so much like someone else...

….

Roger and Carmen tried to follow Max in any way they were possible, but somehow he was out of their sight when they left the little restaurant.

It was hard to make him out between the many people crossing them and soon they lost him.

"Oh, damn it," Carmen said.

"He must be somewhere," Roger replied. "I mean, if he really is just wandering around he can't possibly be that fast."

Carmen looked around again. Roger was right, but it was impossible to spot him anywhere. This was no use. He stopped thinking. They needed a plan. In a way Roger was right. It was dangerous in so many ways. If Pembroke still was after him it was for sure. And Carmen was pretty much convinced the old guy didn't just stop spying on him, especially since Roger was out of his grip again and he was bound to have noticed by now. But how was he supposed to tell Roger that?

Even so it was Max he was worrying about too. His emotional state hadn't been the best and Carmen never thought he would leave so soon after Roger was back.

"Is there anywhere he could have gone?" he heard Roger ask. "The office maybe?"

"No, he can't stand to be there," Carmen answered without really thinking about it. "Too much of Leo still lingering there."

Only when Roger stopped next to him, he felt his gaze on him again and looked up. The surprise was written all over his face.

"What?" Carmen asked a little uncertain.

"Nothing," Roger smiled at him softly and stroked over his head once. "I just have to get used to this. Max and you... Unbelievable."

"Well," Carmen blushed slightly. "That's what you wished for, right? To make me see..."

"Yes, but..," Roger came a little closer taking Carmen in his arms and lifting his chin gently with his hand to look in the eyes he loved so much. "I never thought you would see something I couldn't. Not in him."

"Well, sometimes strange occasions weld together," he smiled.

The younger man never thought he'd find himself in the arms of that tall man again. And even though he was scared insight, he was happy that very moment. It was exactly what he'd mentioned towards Max. He indeed felt a lot braver when Roger was around. And he had a way in making him forget about the threat coming from Pembroke since years now. They were stronger than him. Together.

But then Max's words echoed in his mind again. That one confession he'd made to him while both of them had nothing to hide anymore.

'You're not just his family. Both of you.'

So, Carmen looked up at his partner again. His face had changed.

"I...," he stepped a few steps away from him all of a sudden. "I think I know where he is."

"So tell me," Roger answered, awaiting a clue or a direction.

He trusted him. No matter what. Carmen had to smile seeing it. And it was that moment that reminded him of how lucky he was; of how much everything had changed since he'd abandoned his name and the related past. Roger wouldn't ask for a reason. Ever.

"On Christopher Street," Carmen answered calmly. "It's the last connection he has to Leo. I'd put my shirt on it. He is there."

"Well, what are we waiting for then?" Roger grinned at him. "Let's go!"

Carmen nodded once and was about to follow him. For the first time he would enter Christopher Street without the fear that followed him for years. He didn't think about being recognized at all. What was the fuzz about anyway? Scott Pembroke was dead. In more ways than the public thought. He himself had agreed to it. He secretly had known it for ages, but only now dared to think about testing his 'new' life as Carmen Ghia for once. Chances were given no one would notice anything after all.

But then Roger said that one sentence that made him forget all of that in an instance.

"Have you ever heard of that incident with that son of Pembroke?"

Carmen almost froze in midair. He stared at him with wide eyes and felt cold sweat appearing on the back of his neck within seconds.

"What?" he asked shocked.

"You haven't, hm? Well, maybe you're too young," Roger concluded out of his reaction. "It's quite an old story really. Almost legendary. Pembroke used to have a son and...well, he had him murdered on Christopher Street."

"Roger...It's...," Carmen tried to get his voice back, but he didn't even know where to start. Luckily, Roger took his speechlessness the wrong way.

"I know I shouldn't say that," he said immediately. "But they talked about that story in jail. And I don't know...I just can't shake it. The comparison with Leo is there..."

Carmen held his breath.

"And of course I don't really know what is true about it anymore," the older man continued. "People added so much over the years. I guess it was less of a legend than what people made out of it. But you know what was funny?"

"What?" Carmen asked, not daring to move a little. He stared straight ahead and tried not to look at him. He felt his body stiffen again.

"There was that one guy," Roger spoke again. "He said it was a lie. All of it. He swore he saw Pembroke's son that night at the Stonewall too."

Carmen looked up at him again. All of a sudden he felt scared to death again. It had been crazy to think he could do this. Just for one moment even. He was just one person. People were crazy. Pembroke was crazy. And once again, he reminded himself of what the old man was capable of. Heck, he just managed to get the ones he loved back. If he went down Christopher Street again people were bound to recognize him. And that meant he'd put everything at risk and everyone he loved in danger. He'd managed to hold it away from them for so many years.

Quickly Carmen shook his head. No, there was no way he could do this. They shouldn't have to pay for something they had absolutely nothing to do with.

"So, why are you telling me this?" he asked slowly, looking at his feet. His hands were shaking again and he hoped instantly Roger wouldn't notice.

"Think about it," Roger said softly. "I don't believe him either. But let's just assume he was right. Only for a second. Don't you think it could be a very plausible reason for Pembroke to do all this?"

"Probably," Carmen managed to answer and wondered if that sounded believable or not.

Roger on the other hand seemed to buy it. He smiled again.

"I knew you would think so too," he said. "It just crossed my mind again and I thought I needed to tell you. Because that would be the one weakness we may could use against him. IF it was true of course. Wouldn't that be easy then?"

"Yeah," Carmen replied. He felt bad. He should tell him. Right now. No more secrets. He owed him. Hell, he loved that man for years. What was so hard about it? There was a small chance he'd understand.

So, Carmen took a deep breath.

"Roger... I...," he started, but couldn't finish only one sentence as a voice behind him interrupted him harshly.

"Carmen!"

He turned in surprise, as did Roger.

"Diane?"

The blonde girl ran towards the two of them. She stopped in front of Carmen, bending forward to catch her breath. She looked exhausted though. Her blonde curls were falling over her shoulders.

A little unsteady she got up again, smiling at him.

"What are you doing here?" Carmen asked, steadying her with his arm.

"I-I was looking for you," she said breathlessly. "I need your help."

"What? What for?" he asked a bit taken aback.

"I can't tell you now," she said, still breathing heavily. "Would you...come with me? Please!"

Carmen looked at Roger, who was alarmed as well. But he didn't say anything and just looked back at him.

"I can't...," Carmen started and shook his head, but she cut him off.

"Please," she said. "I wouldn't ask you if it wasn't important. Please!"

He sighed and then looked at Roger again. The taller man thought about it for a moment and then nodded once.

"Go," he said.

"What? But Rog...!"

"If it's important you should go," he said again, smiling softly. "Don't worry. I will go after him. We'll just meet later."

"Well," Carmen turned his gaze to Diane as well, who was waiting for his answer impatiently. "Alright."

"Thank you," she said, looking at Roger thankfully. "Thank you so much."

She took Carmen's sleeve and pulled him along. The slender man looked after Roger for a moment, who just nodded again. Then, he turned around and followed Diane wherever she wanted to take him.

Roger watched him getting smaller in the distance. The he sighed slightly and made his way to Christopher Street.

….

Max stopped arriving the corner of that street again. He hesitated going any further though. It was like a barricade holding him back. Like a wall he just couldn't climb. Whatever made him come here; it was the very same thing holding him back now.

The sun was slowly setting and the streets were turning gray again. Soon that comforting black veil of night would lie itself over the city, hiding everyone who was still out there from the curious eyes of the day.

Dark clouds were showing up in the sky. A light wind began to blow, but Max hardly noticed it. He was staring down Christopher Street and held his breath. Slowly and very carefully he set one foot before the other and walked down that street trying not to look left or right but staring straight ahead. He tried to sort his thoughts that very moment, but even if someone had asked him about it he was certain he couldn't remember only one thought. He heard his breath though. But apparently the road appeared much longer now than it had been just the other night. Almost like walking a tunnel.

Max stopped without noticing really all of a sudden and lifted his head slightly. But it didn't take him long and he wished he hadn't come here. There it was. The spot he had last seen him. It was only a few feet away from him. Hesitantly Max walked closer and more and more the knot in his stomach turned into a painful nightmare living inside of him.

He stopped and hardly dared to look down. The hands in his pockets were beginning to hurt from clenching and he felt like choking again. He didn't know if someone had found Leo lying there and he had his problems really realizing what had happened that night. Something he couldn't admit in front of Carmen or even Roger. But now, standing here again and seeing the red marks of blood which dyed the street and marked it until the next rain would be washing that last memory away, he began to understand. For the first time really.

Max inhaled deeply but wasn't able to let it out again. He swallowed hard and closed his eyes quickly, trying to fight the tears he felt coming back. Quickly he turned his away, but just couldn't move away. This was a grave. It felt like one. And how on earth was he supposed to turn his back on it just like that.

"Forgive me," he thought desperately. "There was nothing I could have done..."

And suddenly the face of Leo appeared before him again. The way he'd last seen him. That shocked look in his eyes. Max shook his head again quickly. This was never how he wanted to remember him. Ever. But then in fact, he never thought he would have been forced to do what he had done. The guilt was back. And his body started to ache more than he'd ever known before. And for a moment it was as though a ton of bricks crashed down on him. This was what he'd always dreaded. More than anything. Leo was gone. Forever. And there was nothing he could do about it.

"You've been looking for him, haven't you?" he heard a voice behind him.

And even though he hardly cared, Max turned to find Roger standing only a few inches away from him looking sympathetically at him. Max didn't react immediately or move. He just stared back at him and it took him an eternity to turn his head again. It was so surreal to be right here. With Roger; someone he'd thought abandoned him too and who had supposedly been lost too only a few hours ago.

"I've heard the old lady asking for his name back in jail," he said silently and stepped closer to the other man. He stopped next to Max, looking down at that red spot on the street too.

"I... I thought... there was a chance he just got arrested too," Max answered with a hoarse voice. "I thought maybe... Someone must have seen him too... But...They just marched around him. They didn't even bother to check..."

Roger lay his hand on Max's shoulder compassionately.

"Oh Max," he whispered.

But Max wasn't able to hold back now. That last bit just gave him the rest. He felt tears streaming down his face now. He tried to turn his head away, but Roger noticed immediately. He rushed around and pressed Max closer to himself, trying to give at least a little comfort.

"I couldn't even say something," Max screamed holding his eyes closed. "It went so fast. And I wasn't able to do anything. What the hell am I doing wrong? All I wanted was to keep him away from that monster. But I certainly didn't intend this."

"It wasn't your fault," Roger answered, holding him tightly. And for once he felt completely helpless himself.

"What am I to do?" he heard the sobbing of the man he'd known for years. "There must be something. Some road I can follow to undo this. I-I never should have done any of this... I want him back! I WANT HIM BACK! I WANNA WAKE UP AND FIND HIM JUST THE WAY HE WAS...! I'M LOST WITHOUT HIM!"

Roger didn't know what to say. He simply bent over and kept hugging him in his despair. There wasn't something he could do anyway. And he was lost for words, fighting with his own tears too. Having lost Leo was as though being caught in a nightmare and he could hardly imagine what Max felt right now. And then, he was sorry. For everything he had been thinking and saying. He had to face the fact. Max did all of this for one reason only: Leo.

He couldn't deny it. It was so clear to see now and made Roger feel even worse. Max had loved him. Always...

He looked up to the sky. It was getting darker and clouded over. The wind was getting stronger too and after a while Roger had lost track of time. It didn't feel that long, but as the first drops of rain shot down on them, he noticed.

"Listen to me," he said then, although he wasn't entirely sure Max heard him. "Leo knew. He loved you and that's all that matters. I am pretty sure deep within he even understood why you did it. No one could have seen this here coming. And...and even though he is somewhere none of us can reach him... Wherever that may be... He will always be a part of you."

His words made himself swallow hard. They made him realize too. And they finalized everything in a painful way.

"Of all of us really," he said.

The warm summer rain was crackling down on them now until they were soaking wet. But none of them cared or even really noticed.

….

"So, what is it?" Carmen asked after Diane slowed down a bit.

They were walking silently next to each other for quite a while now. But sadly enough, she wouldn't speak. She hadn't said a word since Carmen agreed to come along. This didn't feel right though. Leaving Roger this soon again and abandoning Max for something this girl wanted wasn't exactly how he'd planned. And it drove him mad she wouldn't say anything. But then again she looked confused somehow. Almost as though she was dealing with something very serious right now. There was no sign of the carefree young woman he'd gotten to know.

They went down the streets and finally turned into a long side road, paved with cobblestones. The huge buildings around them made it almost seem like a gangway to walk on. Carmen was certain he'd never been here before. At least these surroundings didn't ring a bell. Diane on the other hand stopped in front of an old green door. She looked at him once with the most earnest look he'd ever seen on her. Then she opened the door and tilted her head shortly, meaning for him to follow her insight.

Carmen took a deep breath and followed her. A bad feeling was beginning to crawl up insight of him. Something wasn't right. Diane acted as though this was a secret; as though no one except him should know anything about whatever he needed his help with. It was getting really strange. What started to worry him most was her everlasting silence though. She didn't really react to anything and that was more unlike the Diane he knew than anything else.

They climbed up the stairs in the narrow corridors. Only the echo of their footsteps resounded from the walls until she finally stopped at one apartment door. She had her back turned on him and closed her eyes. Being completely honest with herself she knew it was the right to do. Why was she shaking though? Why was something good made her feel that bad then?

"Diane?" Carmen asked silently, sensing something was wrong.

She held her breath and turned to him, finding him staring at her in confusion. He needed an explanation. Now. Before they entered. It was only fair.

"Promise not to hate me," she said as tears welled in her eyes.

"Hate you?" But...," he started hesitantly, but Diane shook her head.

"This is my apartment," she started silently, bringing a rather surprised look to his face. "I... I brought you here, because you're the only one to fix this. I just don't know what else to do. I'm so sorry. I should have come for you earlier. I... I just didn't know what was gonna happen...and..."

"Diane?" Carmen was hardly able to follow her. He put both his hands on her shoulders to keep her calm for only a moment. "What is going on?"

She bit her lips and then inhaled deeply, nodding slightly. Then she turned slowly, opening the door. She stepped insight and without looking at him walked aside a little to make way for him to follow. Hesitantly he did as she wanted him to, but stopped next to her. He didn't let her out of his sight. This was strange. He felt goosebumps on his body although at first sight there wasn't anything strange about the small light apartment.

She moved behind him and softly closed the door again.

"Diane?" a male voice called her.

Carmen whirled around. There was someone else. He saw a tall dark-haired man walking around the corner of the screen she obviously used as a room divider. And since he obviously only awaited her return, he froze to stone seeing Carmen's face instead of hers. His eyes widened and his jaw dropped.

"You?" he whispered in shock.

Carmen didn't know what to say. He suspected it to be strange finding someone else instead of Diane, but he was pretty sure he'd never seen this one before. His reaction was weird. Why would he be surprised?

"Don't worry Clara. I'm here," Diane answered quickly and came forward. "I...I needed to bring him here. This is a friend of Leo's!"

And suddenly, Carmen knew why that guy reacted the way he did. They had indeed met before.

"You are the one helping Leo out of that Inn," he said, not taking his eyes away from Clara. "I remember you."

Clara nodded once. They kept staring at each other though; up to the point where Diane turned her head from one to the other. This sure was a strange way to introduce one another. But she ignored it. There were more important things at stake now.

"Carmen?" she asked slowly.

His eyes met hers, but he still looked shocked.

"Why am I here?" he asked then suspiciously. "What is this about?"

Quickly she pressed her lips together and turned her head to the windows. Then he sighed and focused the slender man again.

"This way," she said, pointing at the left corner, behind the screen.

Carmen raised his head and his eyes slowly followed the direction of her arm. One last look at her and he started moving. He didn't really plan to, but his body just wouldn't listen to him anymore. He hadn't even the slightest clue what to expect there, but something insight his head told him he needed to find out. And although the apartment was tiny, it seemed to take an eternity to get there.

Gaining sight behind that screen, his eyes widened even more and he gasped. He literally felt his blood drain from his face and heard the pounding of his own blood in his ears. He felt dizzy all of a sudden and for a moment feared to faint. It was as though someone pulled his feet away that very moment.

Leo didn't look less surprised and immediately stemmed himself up the bed.

"Oh my God," he whispered and within a heartbeat his eyes filled with tears once more.

Carmen's jaw dropped. He stood there petrified. He didn't know if he was awake or not. This couldn't be. But, yes it was. He looked around to Diane once more. She simply nodded at him once, looking worried.

Carmen's eyes wandered over to Leo again. The young man didn't seem to grasp it too.

But then, without thinking any more Carmen's feet felt so light again as he rushed up to him. It took him not one second to reach him and he quickly flung his arms around Leo, who started to cry immediately. Instinctively he embraced him too, pulling him tighter to himself.

Carmen breathed in deeply. He had his eyes closed and knew tears were falling down his chin. But he ignored them. He ignored everything around. All he did that very moment was feeling Leo in his arms; feeling his breath in his face and feeling his warmth on his body.

"I thought something happened to you," Leo's cries sounded muffled as he pressed his face closely to Carmen. "I am so glad you are well."

"Something happened to me? I thought..." Carmen let go of him and moved his head away a little to look into his eyes. This wasn't possible. He touched his face again only to reassure himself he wasn't dreaming.

He didn't believe it. And even though Leo's eyes were red from his tears right now, he'd never been happier to see them. He softly stroked his strands out of his face and for the first time noticed the bandage around his head. Gently he put his hand to Leo's cheek and felt like screaming for a moment. His tears dripped on his hand, but he didn't mind.

"Why are you crying?" Leo asked and smiled slightly, although tears were still running down his own face.

"I'm not...I...," Carmen swallowed once and broke into a smile too. Then he whispered. "I...I thought we'd lost you... I never expected... I saw you lying there and..."

He leaned his head to Leo's and closed his eyes, feeling him close again. So this was how a miracle must feel.

"We...we've brought him here," he heard Clara's voice next to him and slowly turned his head. He knew Leo did the same. It was kind of hard to make out his silhouette, since his sight was still blurry, but Carmen wiped his eyes with his palm hand and smiled at him. "He was injured badly. But we had a doctor seeing him. He's okay. Nothing too serious..."

"Thank you," Carmen answered slowly. "Both of you."

"I didn't know what else to do," Diane said. "than bringing you here."

….

"HE DID WHAT!?"

Pembroke got up from his chair. His face was red with fury and he had his arms stemmed on the table in front of him.

"Like I said Sir," a rather intimidated blonde man said. He had a note in his hand and hesitantly put it in front of the old man on the table. "Apparently, Mr. DeBris' lawyer paid the bail. They had no choice but to let him go."

Pembroke coughed slightly and turned his back on the guy, looking out of the huge window in his office.

"I'm afraid no one knew he's had a lawyer for that matter," the man continued. "And what's funny about it is, that he never did one call. No one really knows how she'd known about him. And..."

"That's enough!" Pembroke cut him off. His tone was harsh and loud, but he quickly changed it again. "You may go!"

The blonde guy halfheartedly bowed and then turned to leave. It wasn't until he heard the door closing that Pembroke dared to breathe again. He stared at the city which lay in a dark gray already and its thousand lights glittered in the rain that fell from the sky in fat heavy drops.

He didn't expect this to happen. It wasn't what he'd planned at all. He'd never known about that DeBris having a lawyer. No, in all those years he's never just once obtained legal advice in any way. Moreover everyone had been alarmed not to let him go like that. How on earth did he manage that? He knew for sure he couldn't just bail himself out. The arrangement concerning its amount had been three times higher than any other. He couldn't have done anything being locked up with all the other perverts.

Unless of course...

Pembroke held his breath for a moment. He remembered Scott and Max vanishing together that night...

Then he whirled around and grabbed a huge paperweight, throwing it to through the window in rage. He literally rampaged over his desk, kicking everything on it to the ground. He screamed once as papers flew over his head and to the ground in every direction.

But suddenly he stopped. He had his eyes closed again and breathed heavily, bracing his arms on the table once more.

This couldn't be. He never would have dared... Not after their little talk a few weeks ago. The whole situation was blasted. In a way it was funny though. He never expected such courage all of a sudden.

Silently Pembroke started to laugh, but it grew louder and louder. Then he sank slowly back into his chair. He looked around. The rain was silently dripping inside now, being blown insight from the wind through the broken window pane.

"Alright, Scott," he said dangerously to himself, grinning wickedly. "I tried to warn you. But if you want to play it that way, so be it!"

He took the receiver of the telephone and dialed a number.

-Yes, Sir?

"Call the police," Pembroke said. "We're going out there again!"

-Yes, Sir!

He hung up and calmly walked over to the closet again. He opened the doors. His face almost turned to stone as he took a gun out of it, loading it with bullets.

"It's time to end this once and for all," he thought.

….

"Say what you want," Diane spoke again, sitting in the armchair near her window, watching the whole party with Carmen and Leo on the bed and Clara on a stool next to them. "That raid looked pretty planned to me. Too many officers at once for my taste."

"She's right, you know?" Clara nodded. "It's never been like this. Usually they just let us go after controlling the ID's. This was more like an ambush."

"I agree," Leo said, knowing too well Carmen was looking at him. "They just didn't expect so many to stay together this time."

Carmen on the other hand shook his head, looking down. They've told him everything they'd witnessed. Everything that had happened inside the Stonewall up to the point Clara and Leo got out of there. And as much as he hated to admit it, it sounded very much like what they suspected. But he couldn't say it out loud. In fact he hadn't said anything so far concerning that riot. He'd listened to them carefully, but had never spoken. And it was so weird. That Clara stared at him every once in a while, almost as though he expected him to say something.

"Do you still think Pembroke ain't the one behind it?" Diane asked now.

Carmen looked up. Her eyes were piercing him and he knew for sure he wouldn't get the chance to skip this question again.

"I still think it's dangerous to suspect him when there's no evidence," he said silently.

"What do you mean evidence?" Clara jumped in. "He's the one organizing stuff like that for ages."

"You think so?" Carmen asked and hoped he didn't sound too uncertain that moment. "And can you prove it?"

"Well...no!"

"So, how do you want to do anything," he continued. "Without being able to rely on some facts? No one will believe you. On the contrary. You will end up beaten up or worse."

"We did it once," Clara said, fixating his eyes on Carmen still, who tried not to make a face at all.

"What do you mean once?" Diane asked, again looking from one to the other.

"Apparently there was something quite similar happening some years ago," Leo answered her.

Carmen held his breath.

"Yeah Carmen," Clara said, smiling at him knowingly while raising his voice like a teenage girl. "You've surely heard about it too, haven't you?"

"Clara!" Leo whirled around to him.

"What? It was just a question," Clara said, winking at Leo.

Leo shook his head. He had hoped Clara would forget about his theory and move on. But somehow it seemed he wanted to know if it was true for himself now. And in a way it didn't feel right at all. Leo had thought about it too ever since Carmen showed up here but the more he talked with him and witnessed him he was convinced Clara must be wrong. This was Carmen. No fighter for gay-rights; no legend.

And just as that thought crossed his mind, Carmen chose to answer. Something that surprised Leo too in a way; he had to admit.

"Well, of course I have," he said calmly without taking his eyes away from Clara, who didn't seem less surprised. "I think there's hardly anyone in this community who doesn't know about it."

"What is it about?" Diane asked him.

Carmen turned his head towards her and smiled slightly.

"A nasty little tale about Pembroke attacking people on Christopher Street some years ago," he said. "And somehow people still stuck to it after all that time."

"He attacked them years ago as well?" she asked a little shocked.

Carmen nodded. "They say it was something between his son and him," he explained. "And ever since the gay community holds his son's 'legacy' if you may call it that as some sort of heroism."

"What are you talking about?" Clara jumped up from his stool. "Scott Pembroke was exactly that! He stood against that man and tried to fight for a better life!"

"You see?" Carmen smiled at Diane again. "That's the common perception of it."

Clara looked at him angrily. He was confused. He had been so sure about his theory, but now everything seemed to turn out as wrong. And he couldn't explain why, but it made him angry. He looked at Carmen once more. How calmly he talked about it. No one being involved could talk about it as though it's been a fairy-tale someone told him once. Had he really been that wrong?

"There were so many things about to change and Scott played a major role in it," Clara spoke again. "But Pembroke ambushed his son too. And ruined our last hope back then!"

"And murdered him," Carmen said coolly, turning his head to the raging man in front of him again. "It's a little empty-headed to say he was your last hope when he stood no chance against them as well."

"He got killed?" Diane asked once more.

"Some people seem to think he survived," Leo told her then. "But no one really knows what happened. They never found him, but on the other hand he was never seen again."

"How terrible," Diane clutched her hands over her mouth.

"So how can you say Pembroke ain't the one behind it?" Clara said, stepping closer to Carmen, clutching his teeth.

"Because even though people are telling all this," Carmen said, getting louder and more enraged too. "Even though people think there's a deeper meaning behind his son being the one who actually tried to so something, if that's the fact we rely on... No one knows if it's really true! No one knows whether Pembroke was the one behind the murder of his son. No one saw! Hell, no one even knows if he really shot that guy trying to protect him and then ordered hundreds of policemen to beat the shit out of his son until he didn't breathe anymore. No one knows! Not a single person! It's all just an assumption, because no one was there and saw what happened that moment!"

He stared at Clara furiously, but seemed to notice it just then. Quickly he coughed once and sank back onto that bed, sighing. Still, he just couldn't stop looking at that guy in front of who just wouldn't let go of that topic.

Clara stepped back a little. He didn't know what to say. His eyes widened as he stared at the angry looking Carmen in front of him. He didn't dare to say anything anymore though. He quickly looked at Diane and Leo, who were in conversation again too. Carmen now turned to them as well and joined in. They didn't notice. Well, how were they supposed to?

Clara gasped though. This couldn't be. He knew it! He'd known it since he first saw Carmen on Christopher Street. This was him! No doubt left! He had survived and was very well alive! Scott Pembroke sat there right in front of him!

He started to breathe faster. He could hardly believe his discovery. He couldn't blow it though. Whatever made him live in disguise he didn't know. But there was no doubt about it anymore. Still, he was so different from the person he witnessed years ago. And he couldn't say what had happened to him to make him change that much. He seemed almost scared. How on earth could someone turn his own personality around just like that?

And for a light moment Clara felt tears in his eyes. Whether out of joy or out of anger about all the lies covering the whole story over the years he couldn't say. But he was determined not to let it show. So, quickly he wiped over his face again and sat down, trying to calm himself.

"Will you return though?" Carmen asked, addressing Leo now.

The younger man started to smile and look down to his fingers on the blanket.

"I never went away on purpose," he started slowly. "But as I told you before, I can't possibly live with you and Roger forever."

He seemed sad all of a sudden. Carmen's look changed. He never intended to make him feel bad about his question, but somehow he didn't mean it that way. And now, seeing Leo's face he thought about how to put it.

"No, I meant...," he stopped shortly. "I meant, we thought you were..."

"Well, I am not," he replied silently.

"What about...," Carmen started, but just couldn't finish his question. He didn't know how to explain it. How to tell him about Max. About what he did. About the two of them. And about everything that happened. Leo on the other hand seemed to sense what he wanted to say.

"He's made his choice," he answered dryly. "You were right. It's time to move on."

"Maybe I was wrong," Carmen said, looking at him compassionately. "In a lot of things."

Their eyes met. And for a moment time seemed to stop. It felt as though Leo for once was trying to read Carmen's mind. Something he'd never done before.

And finally, Carmen sighed.

"He did it to protect you," he tried to explain. "Sending you away was the only way for you to be safe, since he wasn't able to get out of Pembroke's grip without putting you in danger too."

"Why didn't he say so then?" Leo asked, looking enraged for once. "Why did he tell me all this stuff then? This makes no sense at all."

"Would you have accepted it?" Carmen asked silently.

"What do you mean?"

"If he'd sent you away, telling you everything he feared for a plausible reason," he continued. "Would you have done it? Would you have left him to be safe?"

Leo inhaled deeply and looked as though he was close to tears again. He tried to answer, but only opened his mouth without any sound at all.

"I thought so," Carmen said softly. "What other choice did he have then?"

"What about Ulla?" Leo asked, looking up at him again. "Did he really have to make things up to be as hurtful as possible? Does this sound like a caring person to you?"

Carmen bit his lips and looked away for maybe a moment too long. He could feel Leo's surprise in an instance.

"He did make that up, didn't he?" he asked carefully.

"Leo," Carmen sighed. "He regrets it so much..."

"Oh my God," Leo's eyes grew bigger again and slowly he got up from that pillow, causing Diane and Clara to almost jump for him. "So, it IS true?"

Then, finally, Carmen nodded almost not visible.

"He still doesn't know why he did it," he said, avoiding Leo's eyes. "My theory is he fell for you long before he noticed himself and did it without thinking about the consequences."

"How much more?" Leo asked.

"What?"

"How much more did you hide from me?" his voice was shaking. "How much more did you know? And when I asked you about it...how much more didn't you tell me?"

"I swore not to say anything," Carmen answered sincerely. "And, please be honest to yourself for once... You never believed me anyway that day. No, you were way to torn apart and devastated."

"Why do you think I asked you?" Leo almost screamed now. "To get lied to again?"

Carmen shook his head and finally turned his head to him again.

"I tried to help you," he whispered.

But somehow, it was useless right now. Leo sank back on that bed and looked away. And again, there was that heart-breaking desperate look on him. That look Carmen never wanted to see again.

Then, Leo inhaled deeply and closed his eyes for a second.

"I know you meant well," Leo whispered in return.

"Then think about it," Carmen said and got up. "I beg you. Every decision you make is fine with me... Just...think about it."

Leo turned at him again.

"You're leaving?" he asked.

"I promised Roger," the taller man nodded. Then, he bent over and softly kissed him on the forehead. "I promise I'll come back for you in no time."

All he got as an answer was an even more desperate looking Leo nodding at him. His eyes begged him not to go and he knew it. But there still was something he'd promised. And he was determined to help Max right now. This time he really could. If he knew Leo was alive, everything would clear up a little. It was the one wish Carmen could fulfill. And he needed to tell him. As well as Roger.

He turned to Diane again, who came closer too. She got up on her toes and hugged him dearly.

"Thank you," Carmen whispered and stroke her back once.

"Come back soon," she replied before letting go and smiling at him; grateful he had come here with her and grateful for what he did for Leo that moment, probably without noticing it.

"I'll hurry," Carmen said softly.

Then he nodded at Clara once and left in the direction of the entrance door.

"Wait," Clara yelled. "I'll accompany you outside."

Carmen raised one eyebrow, but then nodded as the taller man got up and followed him without another word.

Clara closed the door behind them and found both of them standing outside Diane's tiny apartment in the corridor of that house. It seemed the walls were echoing back their very breaths. He was a little surprised though. Carmen had stopped and looked at him sincerely, just as though he was expecting something. But then he just stretched his hand in his direction.

"Thank you too," Carmen said. "I didn't get the chance to say it back on Christopher Street. I'm pretty sure Leo would have been in a lot more trouble if it hadn't been for you. Seeing him now I am more convinced than before to be right."

Clara didn't respond, but slowly shook his hand. Carmen was smiling. And it was an honest smile. Or maybe not? Clara wasn't sure. He wasn't able to read him, since he apparently hid what was so obvious to him now.

And just when Carmen's grip loosened and he half turned to leave, Clara tightened his hand once more. A little repelled Carmen's head whirled around at the tall dark haired guy again as he noticed he wouldn't let go of him. And his face changed. A little panic was clearly written in it, but also surprise. Questioning he stared at him.

"Allow me one question," Clara started, not leaving him out of his sight. "Why did you leave?"

"What?" Carmen had no idea what this question meant. "I...I had to. You saw what happened. I couldn't reach Leo. I thought he... what the hell was I suppose to do?"

"No," Clara lifted his mouth into a cheap smile. "I mean... before that. Why didn't you return to Christopher Street... Scott?"

Carmen froze. For a moment he even thought his heartbeat skipped a beat. He must have misunderstood. But then that embarrassing silence followed with both men just staring into each others eyes. He felt that old panic arising inside of him again. What did this mean?

He didn't answer though. He didn't know what to say anyway. So, he quickly teared away his hand. Away from Clara and out of that deadly grip. He almost stumbled backwards a few steps but quickly got his grip again.

"I... I have no idea what you are talking about," Carmen said and turned quickly to leave.

"You don't remember me, do you?" he heard Clara's voice behind him and stopped petrified on the first step of the stairs; his eyes wide with fear.

"We met once...," Clara came closer again. Slowly and with his arms crossed. And although Carmen felt he needed to run now, he wasn't able to move.

"I was one of Daniel's best friends," he heard him say again. "I wasn't sure at first if you really just looked like Scott. But then you've revealed yourself... I was there. That night. I saw how Daniel jumped in front of you, trying so desperately to protect you. I saw Pembroke pointing his gun at him, not in the slightest hesitant to get him out of the way... You didn't know. No one did. I hid behind a corner and witnessed it more coincidentally."

He stopped right behind Carmen now, who closed his eyes. All the memories. He never thought about them in so many years. And worst of all he felt his body starting to shiver again.

"I thought I was wrong at first," Clara continued. "But you couldn't possibly know about him having gotten shot trying to protect the one he loved, unless... Unless you had been there. And there is only one possibility you could have been there..."

Carmen still didn't move. Nor did he turn. His head sank as he clutched his teeth to a point of pain.

That moment. It was there insight of him again as though it had just been yesterday. Pembroke hadn't even blinked pulling that trigger. He hadn't cared at all what had been in his way. And he'd done anything to get to him that very night.

He saw Daniel lying there in front of him. He remembered his own blood-stained hands trying to hold him and the still loving look on his face as his eyes slowly faded.

"So, why didn't you come back?" Clara asked again very calmly now.

"I...," Carmen swallowed hard. "I don't know why you are telling me this. I know no one named Daniel. Nor have I ever..."

"Don't even try it," Clara replied angrily. "We needed you! There must have been a reason for you having done this."

"You're mistaking me...," Carmen tried to argue.

"Oh come on!" Clara was getting furious again. "Enough of this bullshit! People are dying out there! And they are looking desperately for some sign of hope! How fair is it to leave I ask you? How fair is it to forget what Daniel did for you? How selfish is it to make everyone believe you died just to lead a perfect life on the Upper East Side?"

"BECAUSE IT WAS THE ONLY WAY TO SAFE SOME OF THEM," Carmen whirled around, causing Clara to almost jump back. He had tears in his eyes and looked both raging and desperate at the same time. Clara's eyes grew bigger in realization. He almost froze seeing it.

But suddenly, Carmen seemed to realize it as well. He stepped back a little and almost acted scared of the taller man.

"I...I should go now," he whispered and turned his head away.

"Wait! Scott," Clara jumped after him.

"Stop calling me that," Carmen replied quickly. "You're wrong! Scott Pembroke is dead!"

Then he turned and ran down the stairs vanishing out of Clara's sight.

He was shocked though. He had been right. And Carmen knew. Hell, he even agreed although Clara wasn't certain he noticed himself. And suddenly, a small stream of light was there again. Him being alive meant there was something to fight for.

But he couldn't say whatever made him change that much.

"What happened to you?" he spoke to himself.

~To be continued~


	16. The roundabout

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Okay, we're heading towards the end. As much as I hate it myself, but every story must end somehow. I hope it's still exciting a bit though. This was actually the hardest part for me until now: How to make them all turn emotionally, so I can gather them all at one point again. ;)
> 
> I was really overwhelmed by all the nice reaction I got so far, so let me say: THANK YOU ALL! It makes me happy people read this and like it.
> 
> This chapter is inspired by the song "Stronger" from the musical Finding Neverland.

Clara closed the door again. His hands were shaking and his thoughts were still back in that corridor. He needed to know what happened. Hardly ever had he been more interested in the story of someone, but now that he was sure Scott had survived he was even more convinced to finally have something they could hold against Pembroke. And as much as Scott, or Carmen, denied it... He indeed was that little spark of hope their people needed right now. But how to start it? Telling everyone would mark him as a lunatic and wouldn't bring Carmen back to his senses at all. So what to do? He couldn't just wander into that apartment again and tell them. No, he was determined to find another way. Maybe he could find him again and talk to him quietly, without him being scared someone overhearing them.

Clara softly leaned against the door as it fell into its lock, causing a metallic clicking sound. He sighed deeply. And as if he'd expected it Diane immediately leaned her head around the corner of that partition and looked at him questioningly.

"Did you two fight?" she asked concerned.

"No," Clara answered and wondered if it came too quickly. "Why do you ask?"

"We've heard someone raising his voice and I thought...," she started but seemed embarrassed of her thought shortly after she began. Her cheeks blushed slightly and she turned her head away.

Clara moved closer and sat down at the edge of the bed. He had to smile. Of course they must have heard. He could kick himself immediately for having been that loud and rushing out there, but the pure discovery of Scott Pembroke seemingly having survived had made him irrational that moment.

Leo looked at him too. He could tell without checking. And he heard him getting up again.

"Leo. Please," he said silently. "The more you move the worse it's gonna get."

But suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to face the young man in surprise. Leo simply smiled back at him. His eyes were soft and for once he appeared to be a lot calmer than before.

"You've asked him right?" he asked quietly.

Clara just stared back at him. What the hell was he supposed to answer now? He'd never expected him to see through his plan right away. And now, he didn't even dare to blink. How was he supposed to keep everything a secret? It was damn hard to do. And he longed so much to tell him and everybody else, yet at the same time knew perfectly well it would destroy a lot more than it would do any good. So, he looked down at his feet and nodded, still smiling.

Leo jeered slightly without loosing his smile.

"I'm sorry you were wrong," he said then.

Clara raised his head again. He surely didn't expect that.

"I know him," Leo explained, seeing his surprised new friend looking at him in a questioning way. "Carmen hates being accused of anything. So, I suppose it was probably him we've heard."

Clara nodded slightly. How funny. How strange. Leo was so right in a way and yet so very wrong. But maybe it was better to let him believe what he obviously did.

"I didn't wanna shout," Clara replied. "He just kinda made me angry that's all."

"I'm sure he didn't mean it," Leo answered almost shyly. He'd hardly ever experienced an angry Carmen before but he of course had noticed the tension between the two of them that was somehow there. "He is a nice guy, believe me. Maybe the situation just wasn't the best for you to meet."

"Oh no it was," Clara smiled at him again. "I know he didn't mean it. I just took him by surprise and it was a little much for him."

"Good," Leo replied and sank back into his pillow, looking at Diane for once. "I'd really love you all to get along. There is enough fighting going on out there already."

"Yeah," Clara was only half listening. "Listen, I..erm...I still got things to do. I'll be back soon."

Thus, he got up again and took a few quick steps towards the door.

Leo and Diane just exchanged a confused look, when Diane suddenly jumped up and rushed after him as well, leaving Leo puzzling.

"Wait!" She said and carefully closed the door behind herself, making sure Leo wasn't about to hear them. Clara had already reached the stairs and stopped to look at her.

"What is it exactly that you have to do all of a sudden?" she asked quietly.

"I still got my life, sweet-cheeks," Clara grinned at her. "Don't worry. I won't abandon you. I'll return later."

"Don't think I don't notice," she said, stepping closer. "I know that's not true."

Clara simply looked to the ground. He started to smile and shook his head slightly.

"It's got something to do with you and Carmen screaming at each other, right? Don't say otherwise," she said. "Please, tell me the truth. What's going on?"

Clara sighed and finally lifted his head again to look into her blue eyes.

"Do you really think this was it? That now it will stop? That Pembroke will move on now?" he asked softly. "We got lucky, that's all. Leo more than any of us. But I highly doubt this was all they had to offer. A flame like the one last night must be blighted. And if Pembroke really is the one behind it, he will do something about it."

"You think he will?" Diane asked.

"I will return to Christopher Street and see if I can find out anything," Clara nodded.

"But, this is dangerous," she answered a little panicking. "What if you get into another brawl?"

"I will take care," he smiled at her. "But don't you see? Those are my people. The only family I got. And just like you did everything you could to get Leo out of there, I must do the same. Try to understand."

They stared at each other for an eternity, but finally Diane lowered her head and nodded.

"Hey," Clara came back to her and put his arms around her in a comforting way. "I promise I will be back when the sun sets. Nothing will happen, okay?"

Again, she nodded and forced herself to smile again. She had a bad feeling about this and she knew Clara could sense it too. But whatever he had in mind; whatever he needed to do right now, it was plain to see it was no use to try and stop him. And in a way she could even understand what he meant.

He nodded once more and let go of her. Then he turned his back on her and left. Silently, she stood for a moment just staring down the stairs. And she wasn't able to shake her feeling, as hard as she tried. What had this world come to? But after all she learned, Clara was right. There must be a way to stop all this from happening and maybe they even set that little spark the population needed to realize there was no harm in people like them, but in Pembroke's kind.

….

Max and Roger sat in a little Cafe on Christopher Street to avoid the rain. They were soaking wet anyway, but Roger had promised to wait for Carmen so they couldn't just leave. And thinking about it, he liked the idea of simply staying where they were better and better. Max's condition didn't really change and Roger couldn't remember when he had last seen him like that. In fact, he was quite certain he'd never before witnessed him that emotional before. But now as they sat in there no one said a word. Max simply stared outside and Roger didn't know what to say really, even if he had found his voice again. All of this was still so unreal. Himself having been in jail, Max suddenly turning out to not have been the traitor he'd taken him for and worst of all having lost Leo. That last part was the hardest to realize still. His mind told him this was it. There was no way to deny it. Carmen wouldn't lie to him for that matter. But his heart simply didn't understand. How could it? Leo had been fine. And he'd started to get along with everything. He couldn't have gone. But time had its ways to make him believe and the more he thought about it, the more he saw the young man in front of him and the pure thought of never seeing that shy smile again made his heart ache.

He looked over to Max. It was hard to imagine what he was going through right now, having been there. He had been forced to witness it. What could be more horrendous?

He didn't know what to do. So he did something he never dreamed of doing. He reached over the table separating the two of them and put his hand on Max's.

He on the other hand lifted his head a little for once, looking unbelieving at the taller man.

"I-I know this won't help much," Roger said. "But I really am sorry. For everything that happened."

"Don't mention it," Max answered unimpressed and took his hand away. He couldn't deal with a gesture like that. Not right now. This had happened too many times before. And every time he dared to trust someone again, he blew it phenomenally. So no! If Roger chose to forgive him, he should go on with it. Max couldn't forgive himself. He probably never would.

"Thank you," he heard Roger's voice and although he didn't intend to, he was surprised to hear an apology. He didn't even know what for.

"What?"

"For getting Carmen out of there," Roger smiled at him. "I don't know what I had done if something had happened to him. I owe you for that"

Max shook his head though.

"It wasn't me," he answered honestly, feeling strangely touched by Roger's words. "It was Carmen all along. I had nothing to do with it."

Roger's looks changed. He seemed confused all of a sudden.

"Carmen got me out of there. Without him I would probably sit next to you in jail or even worse," Max explained a little more. His face was motionless though. He thought of Leo's lifeless body again. Carmen had spared him that fate too. Without him he would have been able to reach his partner and they'd probably have gotten him there. So indeed, it had been the other way round. Without Carmen he'd been doomed.

Roger seemed not to believe it though. He stared at him with wide eyes.

"Carmen?" he asked breathlessly. "He's never shown any signs of aggressiveness. Not in the slightest. He didn't even want to go in that crowd. You should have seen him. He was almost hiding. No blame here, considering what he's been through. But what you are telling me is...whoa, unbelievable."

Max couldn't help but smirk. He looked at the taller man in front of him again.

"It leaves some hope," he said, smiling with soft eyes.

"Why?" Roger was lost.

"I always thought if there are two people acting as one; if something fits the phrase 'seeing through another's eyes'," Max explained. "It was you two. But apparently there's a part of him you never knew."

Roger jeered slightly.

"Yeah well," he'd never though anything Max could say would leave him speechless. And he felt a little blush on his cheeks, telling him he was right. "He's never been like that. Ever."

"Maybe he has," Max continued. "You didn't know him all your life after all."

"No, I didn't. That's true," Roger answered, thinking about it. "And thinking about it he had been quite different when we met indeed. I totally forgot."

"How did you meet anyway?" Max asked. He suddenly remembered he'd missed to ask him for way too long. Seeing the smile appear on Roger's face again, told him it was the right time to ask too. "How did you find someone like him? If I remember right you never spent too much time in a relationship."

"It wasn't me either," Roger grinned. "He found me. I remember it had been as though we were meant to meet that day. He ran into me. He was... living in the streets back then, I think. He looked horrible though. And I only took him in because he had been injured badly and needed medical treatment. I felt sorry for him."

"He what?" Max's eyes grew wider. So Carmen hadn't been lying about that part of his past. But he wasn't able to tell if Roger knew. "And you...you took him in? Without knowing him?"

Roger nodded.

"I just couldn't walk away," he answered. "I can't explain it myself. He never told me what had happened though. And I stopped asking him a long time ago. It doesn't matter anyway. He was with me and that always was the only important thing in my eyes."

"He got lucky," Max forced himself into a sad smile. There it was. That devotion Leo had admired so much about the two of them. Roger hadn't known anything about Carmen and still had taken care of him. And now, after such a long time they still loved each other more than anything else in the world.

Max didn't know whether to laugh or cry. So this was what Leo had told him about. It was warm and touching. And despite their different pasts they only looked straight ahead; into the light of the next day. Why had he been so blind all those years? All the precious little things Leo had noticed immediately... Max had missed so much. And all he ever had to do was listening a little closer.

But no. His priorities had been somewhere else all the time.

Slowly he turned his head to gaze out of the window once more; catching that spot he had seen Leo for the last time again.

Roger noticed his sad eyes of course. And in an instance he turned to his worried self again.

"You think you're okay?" Roger asked carefully, looking at him from his lowered face.

Max closed his eyes and nodded hardly visible. He took a deep breath, and without taking his eyes away from the wet street on which the rain washed away every last evidence of something might have happened there, he answered: "I am sorry."

"No need to be," Roger answered calmly, turning the spoon in his cup once or twice. "I never thought I would ever see the day though..."

Max's eyes wandered over to him although otherwise he remained motionless.

"I really thought you thought only about yourself," Roger explained, looking at the blurry lights reflecting in the puddles outside too. "But I think I understand now. And what you did for Carmen surprised me a lot to be honest. But still I thank you from the bottom of my heart for that. So, forgive me. I was blind in so many ways."

"It was much easier to be the asshole in everyone's eyes," Max answered silently.

"Hm, but the way I see it," Roger replied and couldn't help but smile. "is you never were. You just made us believe."

"I should have stuck to that," he answered, closing his eyes again. "Look where it led us to."

"To someone willing to risk something," Roger looked at him again. "To a you none of us ever thought was there."

"I've risked enough," Max said. "There's nothing left. And I can't think of any way to stop Pembroke."

"So, he is really the one behind this?" Roger asked concerned.

Max nodded and finally their eyes met again.

"He's crazy," he said. "And he won't stop. That hatred insight of him is unbelievable."

"I always thought after his little problem was gone he'd stop," Roger admitted.

Max raised his head. He wasn't sure if he heard right. And judged by his bewildered look, Roger seemed to think he needed to explain a little more.

"You never heard of this?" he asked. "Pembroke had a son, who..."

"I know about Scott," Max cut him off.

"You know?" Even if he wanted to there was no way Roger could disguise his surprise. He'd never thought someone like Max knew that old tale, especially since he never had cared much about the history of their people. But maybe, he'd missed more than he had assumed at first. This was, in a way, a refreshingly new side of the person he knew for so long.

Max on the other hand nodded.

"I found out searching for a reason why Pembroke acted with this mad insanity. But believe me he never stopped."

"Maybe he ain't finished," Roger said, waiting for Max's reaction which came promptly.

"What do you mean?"

"I've heard some rumors," Roger said and had to laugh suddenly. "I never thought I'd be sharing this with you. In jail there was that one guy who swore his son had survived all that."

Max's eyes widened. No way! This couldn't be! Roger couldn't possibly know.

The older man in front of him noticed of course and smirked.

"I don't know what to think about it," he explained. "But what if he was right? What if Pembroke just never finished what he wanted to do in the first place and his actions are the result of it?"

"You shouldn't rack your brain about that," Max said quickly. He couldn't do it. Even though he thought about telling him, it wasn't up to him. Carmen even mentioned no one knew. Not a soul. And in a way Max felt honored he had had the courage to confide in him of all people. So, who was he to break Carmen's secret?

"I can't shake it as funny as that sounds," Roger smiled at him again. "He said especially I should know about this..."

Max's eyes widened.

"Why you?" he asked hesitantly; almost uncertain. He feared that question gave away too much already.

But Roger just shrugged. "If only I knew."

Max held his breath for a moment. Roger had no clue. Not even a hint. All he had was a mere suggestion. And searching desperately for a reason it was no wonder he thought about it still.

For a moment Max even wondered how he would react learning he was closer to the answer he was looking for than he imagined. Whether he would understand the reason behind this or not? Roger probably would. But then, it sounded almost as though he just accepted the fact he knew practically nothing about Carmen's life before they met. Not even his real name. How could someone accept that for fifteen years without being a little curious? Or suspicious? Maybe he simply trusted Carmen way too much. If that wasn't devotion, what was? But then again, Max knew Roger even longer and had never asked about Carmen either. How they met or why he never told anything about his life before moving in with the older man. He'd simply never cared. And maybe Roger didn't care for that little fact either.

"But what if he was right?" Roger continued, ripping Max out of his thoughts and looking sincere. "What if his son was out there somewhere?"

"I guess in that case," Max started slowly. "He must have had a really good reason to hide..."

Roger smiled again. He was certainly right. All these assumptions led nowhere anyway. It wasn't really possible someone survived a treatment like the one Scott Pembroke had experienced anyway. At least from what Roger had heard. And all of that happened so long ago. Someone would have noticed for sure. After all, Pembroke's son was no stranger to this street and the people still carried his deeds insight.

But still, what if that guy had been right?

Roger wanted to reply something, but didn't get as far when the sound like a crowd starting to scream that came from outside reached them. Both of them, Max as well as Roger quickly gazed at each other with a terrified look in their eyes.

Within only seconds both of them were on their feet again, pressing their faces to the windows. This wasn't possible. Yet, as the dark clouds already melted into a perfect nightly sky people were running through the streets once more, but this time looked more as though they were fleeing from something. It didn't take long to spot the source of course. A huge group of policemen marched through Christopher Street again and just as always weren't exactly gentle when it came to rough brutality against everyone looking different. The fleeing crowd grew to be more and more. Obviously they were literally herding them together. Sadly enough, they weren't able to get away, since another troop headed towards them from the opposite direction.

Only when a bottle hit the window of the cafe Max and Roger were watching the scene in shock, and caused them to wince out of their petrification, they were able to articulate what both of them thought.

"He ain't finished yet!"

….

Carmen walked down the streets with his hands crossed in front of his chest. He knew where he was heading to and he knew that the one thing that mattered was clear: To get back to Roger and Max.

Yet, he was lost in thoughts. This never should have happened. He'd never expected that guy to recognize him. Especially after all those years. And as hard as he tried, he wasn't able to remember him in any way. What if he just invented that connection to Daniel to break through his reserve? But no, he couldn't possibly know what had happened that night. He couldn't know about Daniel if he made it up. Hell, Carmen had almost forgotten about it all himself. But the worst part about this had been that one second of not paying attention. That blink of an eye in which he had allowed his own emotions to take control and gave away more than he had in the last fifteen years. And of course Clara had noticed it that very moment. It had been written all over his face that Carmen had proven him right without really intending to. And he could kick himself for that. He'd never given away his disguise to anyone and he had always thought to have everything under control; especially that hell he called his memory. And that was what hit him like a ton of bricks: He had been wrong. So damn wrong about everything. He'd thought he could live with it. He'd thought he could suppress it. He had been persuading himself for so long nothing had happened. But now he had to admit he had been living a lie. He'd tried to fool himself and only now realized he would never be able to run from Scott Pembroke. He was like his shadow; always there and mockingly laughing at him.

But he wasn't who he used to be. He hadn't been for ages. That past him was so deeply buried in the shadows of the past, it even felt like hearing about someone else's story sometimes.

No, he stuck to that. Scott was dead. He got murdered by his own father. Carmen was someone else. Someone no person wasted another thought about. Someone with no father. Someone Pembroke didn't fear. And it was good the way it was. The only thing that mattered was Roger, Max, Leo and the few friends around him. Why should he risk everything just because some stranger wanted to plant the seed of bad conscience into him? There was nothing to feel bad for. All he did had had a reason. By leaving he made sure Pembroke would let them be. Leave them in peace. At least the people close to him. Why should he care about all the others? People who were too scared to fight for themselves. People who hid.

Carmen stopped. He lifted his head suddenly and closed his eyes, just feeling the soft wind blowing into his face. He inhaled deeply.

That was, what he'd told Leo over and over again. No one should hide who he was. Yet, at the same time he was doing it constantly. How double-tracked was that?

What a lie! It was a lie. All of it. If he was really honest to himself Clara had been right. He had been selfish. He had been devastated and destroyed fifteen years ago. He'd lost everything and his only interest had been to get away from that man he had been supposed to have a deeper bond to. To live the way he wanted to. To decide for himself. But looking at all of it now, he felt more cowardly than ever before. Indeed Clara had achieved what he wanted to. But then again, no he hadn't. Carmen stood there thunderstruck realizing it. That bad conscience was living inside of him. For so long now. He'd just tried to ignore it up to the point of not realizing it at all. Yet it had been there. Always.

"I let them down," he thought suddenly. "All of them. And why? Because I was scared."

He remained where he was. For the first time ever he didn't know what to do. Returning to Christopher Street was impossible. He was nothing. He'd never been. All he did in the past was trying to fight the person who had done all these cruel things to him all his life. He was so far away from the hero they made out of him than anybody else. And even that had been his own fault.

He looked at that gray hooded-pullover he was wearing above his usual black suit. He'd been wearing it that night at the Stonewall. And the day Roger had found him too. Funny, why the hell did he stick to it that much all of a sudden? This wasn't Carmen Ghia.

"I knew I'd find you here!"

Carmen teared his eyes open and whirled around.

Clara was standing next to him; his arms crossed to. He smiled even though he was looking in the same direction as the shorter man. Carmen looked around. He obviously was alone. But this wasn't possible. How could he have followed him? What did he plan?

Clara on the other hand pointed at the street-sign near them. They were close to that street again. Carmen knew Roger was there and he was the only reason to come here, but at the same time he knew what that guy wanted to tell him through his gesture.

"Please, leave me alone," Carmen snapped and just kept on walking without taking further notice of the dark haired guy.

"You can't run from it," Clara said and Carmen knew in an instance he was following him still. "Don't you see?"

"I told you you were wrong," Carmen replied.

"And I told you I don't believe you," Clara remained calm. "What is your problem? Why are you doing this?"

"Please, Clara is it?" Carmen stopped again and turned to face him directly. "I know you see something in me that you think is the key to all your problems. But I am not the one. I cannot help you," he didn't notice how desperate he started to sound himself. "It's a legend. A tale you're clinging to, nothing more."

It shocked him even more to find the taller man still smiling at him without any recognizable reaction. He just kept staring back at him. It was no use. So Carmen sighed and shook his head, taking his eyes away.

"Why the hell am I even talking to you?" he said more to himself than to Clara and kept on moving, throwing his hands up.

"I think I understand," Clara's voice sounded again. Carmen rolled his eyes. He was still following him. "You gave away a little too much. 'To safe some of them'... I think that suits you."

"You don't know a bit about me," Carmen replied marching on.

"I agree," Clara stated and caught up with him. "That's why I wanted to talk to you again. I want to apologize. I think I kind of overpowered you back at Diane's. I was just overwhelmed. I never thought to find you of all people."

Carmen moaned.

"But I don't understand a lot of things," Clara continued.

"Obviously," Carmen replied sarcastically.

"Why didn't you come back?" Clara asked once more. "We needed someone to guide us. You could have done so much more than saving just a few of us. And you have been alive all that time. You cannot imagine what this will mean to everyone."

Carmen stopped and closed his eyes again. If only he'd stop. But Clara didn't seem to notice.

"What made you do that?" he asked. "For fifteen years. I mean you must have heard about the horrendous things society did to us? Have you turned your back on everything? Are you still part of us? Or has all of this just been a game to you?"

"WILL YOU PLEASE STOP THAT?" Carmen yelled at him all of a sudden, causing Clara to look at him surprised.

"Listen, it's like I said," Carmen continued and fought back the emotions arising insight of him. He didn't dare to move much and since he still had his arms crossed, he held on to his body as though he feared it might break apart any moment. "Scott Pembroke is dead. He died many years ago in that street somewhere in the heart of Manhattan. Whatever people made out of this is their problem not mine."

"You're still denying to be him?"

Carmen looked at him once from the corner of his eyes, then sighed and looked up to the sky.

"I may have been," He answered silently and felt the wall around him fall. Quickly he looked away. "But that was a long time ago. I am not who I was fifteen years ago!"

A wide grin appeared in the face of Clara. And his eyes filled with tears. Carmen noticed in surprise. And he was even more shocked when Clara sank to his knees right there in front of him, starting to cry through smiling eyes which never gazed away and holding his body up with his arms stemmed to the ground. Carmen felt his heart sink.

"I knew it," Clara sobbed.

"Are you crying?" Carmen whispered in shock; his eyes wide in realization.

"Out of joy," Clara replied, having caught his question. "I was one of the people looking up to you for so long. You have no idea how devastated we have been hearing about your death. How desperate and how shattered. And now...to find you here... It's like a miracle."

Even though his words indeed touched him somewhere deep within, Carmen closed his eyes again in pain of everything they carried along and shook his head.

"You need to stop that," he swallowed hard. "Nothing's like you think. People added a lot. Scott wasn't as strong as you think and he was definitely no hero."

"What happened to you?" Clara asked desperately with his tears still running down his face. "Why are you like that now? You were different once."

"I've my feet on the ground again," Carmen replied, a little louder now. "All these silly ideas brought us nothing. I caused more harm than I did any good. And it had people killed. People who...," he hesitated and shook away that memory once more. He felt cold all of a sudden.

But Clara shook his head and slowly got up, grabbing him by the shoulders. Softly, he forced that man in front of him to look at him again. "No! Don't you see? It was the hope you gave. No more pretending we were freaks or sick, that's what you made them believe. You gave them the kind of self-confidence no one achieved to spread before. You were the first to dare and stand up against this cruelty. Whatever happened then wasn't your fault."

"It wouldn't have happened if it hadn't been for me," he replied. "Can't you understand that?

He saw Clara's eyes widen. He clearly didn't understand, but more and more the picture became clearer to him too. Carmen didn't fight to get out of his grip. He simply lowered his head and tried to hide his watery eyes. He felt his defense crash and everything suddenly came back to him, like a black wave breaking above the two of them.

"You saw it," he whispered. His voice had left him that very moment. "Daniel died because of me. I wasn't able to do anything. I gave a shit to them. All I did was leading them into an even more miserable life."

"That's not true," Clara said a lot softer now. "If hope was the only thing we got, it was you who embodied it. A young boy who'd had everything. Someone who gave that up to find out of that maze his father built around him and on the way became a light in the dark sky of everyone sharing his path. All that matters now is where you go from here."

"So what do you expect me to do?" Carmen asked enraged, looking at him without being able to hold his tears back now. And finally he shook off Clara's hands. "Show up there and tell everyone it was a lie? A deal to keep him away from me and me alone? And then encourage them to march into their certain ruin? I don't want any more lives on my conscience. I can't do this. I cannot see them suffer because of me. Don't you get that? All that matters to me is to get my family out of there."

"Your family?" Clara stepped back a little. He surely didn't expect that.

"My partner and friends. They are all I have left," Carmen got louder with every word. "So go on! Go and tell everyone! Tell them I am alive and well. It won't help you. Pembroke will attack you even quicker if you know. No evidence, that's what he wants. But don't expect me to live up to your expectations. I can't go that far."

"What are you so afraid of?" Clara yelled back. "You want to save them. That's fine. It's understandable. But don't you get that your family will only be safe if you end this once and for all?"

"I cannot stand against him," Carmen replied. "He killed me once. He'll do it again. For real this time. And before that he will murder everyone I love. Everyone I know."

"You're stronger than that," Clara said. "I know you are."

"I am not Scott," Carmen shouted back. "I haven't been for fifteen years. Yes, you are right. I am scared. Scared to death. You have no idea what he is capable of."

"Search insight of you. I beg you. With everything I have. You need to look deeper than you did before. You cannot abandon what you are. It's still there. You have that fire still burning insight of you. I know. I saw it. When you tried to safe Leo. For the people you love that flame still burns. Forget that fear you're feeling. Forget what hurts you. You are ahead of Pembroke. You are faster. You are greater and you are stronger. You've reached higher and you are able to do something. Please! I beg you!"

Carmen shook his head once more and looked more scared than ever. He stepped back even further now.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I can't do this."

Then he turned and ran away from that guilt, that unfulfilled hope and that man. His feet carried him without him really noticing. But the mortal fright insight kept telling him to run.

"He's wrong," he thought and that thought echoed as loud as thunder in his head.

He didn't feel the wind whipping his wet face more and more, nor the people he passed. He also didn't notice Clara following him. All he noticed was his past was back torturing him more than ever. He'd been running from it for so long. And now it was too late to turn back. He'd made that deal only to safe himself. No matter what his conscience told him, they were better off without him. There was absolutely nothing he could do. And Pembroke scared him. More than anything else in the world. He'd snuffed out the light of someone he loved before. And he would do it again. There was no chance he could put Roger in that danger. No matter what Clara thought.

….

He tried not to let it show at first and tried to act normal, but he had to admit it felt strange to be alone with Diane again. He didn't know what to say. In a way Leo even felt ashamed having said all the things he did to her. She was no harm. Not in the slightest. She even brought Carmen to him when she had no reason to do so. She gave so much and never expected anything. Not even an answer. All she seemed to want was keeping him well.

And suddenly Leo felt miserable again. He'd been cruel. He'd treated her almost the way Max had treated him. And he didn't want to be like that. It just wasn't right.

But then again, he thought about Carmen's words. Max... Ten years he'd been lying to him. From the very start everything he'd said to him had been a lie. He had believed he'd changed though.

Until last Leo had hoped everything would turn out as wrong. Secretly, of course. But now, he knew. And worst of all Carmen and Roger had known too. And no one had had the guts to tell him. Probably everything would have turned out differently, if he'd known sooner. And that certainty hurt. Leo felt his heart pounding faster again. He felt used. And betrayed. This was even worse than everything Max had done before. Roger had done the right thing. He shut himself off of him. And although Leo hadn't been able to understand his reason; still worse he had kept defending that man, Roger had been trying to warn him. But he had been blind to so many things. He had hoped and denied everything. He had fooled himself.

Now it felt like the last ten years had been nothing but a great waste of time. No need to think about it anymore, as Carmen had suggested. No, he had to close that chapter. He had to go on. And strangely enough, he was now more determined than ever to achieve it. To forget Max Bialystock.

But somehow he couldn't shake all the time they'd spent together that easily. Each time he told himself to let go, pictures of Max and him appeared in front of him again and made him feel like falling down a huge cliff.

"Are you okay?" Diane asked hesitantly, having noticed Leo's tense body. And his silence.

Leo nodded, smiling at her.

"I just... I thought about what Carmen said," he answered.

"And will you, you know...Think about it?" she asked, looking a little uncertain at him.

She raised her shoulders in an innocent way and Leo knew for sure she was trying to hide her own misery and act normal towards him. What a horrible person he was. How selfish. She did all this for him. Even a year ago she helped him without hesitation and never wanted anything back. And he wasn't even able to answer her. He knew how this must feel. Now more than ever. It was a torture and she just swallowed it and went on.

"No," Leo finally answered and forced himself into a sad smile.

"No?"

Their eyes met.

"I thought we've had our time," he said. "What Max did though, he only did for himself. Carmen's wrong. He's ruined everything. First my marriage, then everything else."

"But Carmen said he did it for you," Diane replied. "Don't you think he just couldn't prove his love any more? He sent you away to save you. If that's true it's the greatest sacrifice he could have done."

She thought about telling him now what she knew. But somehow it wasn't at all necessary, for Leo shook his head.

"He depended on me, that was all," Leo spoke. "I never would have left Ulla if it hadn't been for him. I never would have left my job if it hadn't been for him. And I certainly wouldn't feel the way I do now if it hadn't been for him."

"Hm," Diane started to smile, closing her eyes. Then she turned her head and looked outside the window again, focusing on some distant point Leo couldn't make out.

"What's that smile?" he asked, observing her.

"I figure you're trying to talk yourself into believing it," she answered. "But you see, I remember a Leo Bloom who was willing to fight for the one he loved. Against all odds. And that person I met a year ago was still the same a few months ago when he miraculously showed up in my diner again. There must have been good times too. I never met someone willing to risk so much. And you kept lying too. Just so you could be together. Just so society wouldn't judge you for something you simply feel. I'm sorry, Leo...You cannot talk everything away. It's as you said: You wouldn't feel the way you are feeling right now, if it hadn't been for him... It's true."

"No," Leo replied determinedly and got up. Diane wanted to say something, but he was much quicker. His feet touched the ground and despite the dizziness that shot through his body immediately, he walked over to her quickly, knelt down in front of her and softly took her face in both his hands.

"He was the very reason I got out of a job I hated. A hell I was forced to spend my life into," he said, diving into her eyes. "It's true. He made me see through that marriage, which had been a lie all along. He made me feel alive and loved. He had been there. Always. Hell, he even made me meet you in a way."

Diane's eyes grew wider. But Leo just wouldn't stop. And even though he smiled, his voice sounded determined and strong.

"I know all that," he continued. "I know I can't turn back the clock. I know...I know there had been good times. Every day was like a gift to me and I kept asking myself what I had done to deserve all that. But...But what he'd done then... Just showed me. He'll never change. I don't know what is true anymore. I don't know what to believe. And even though it still hurts. More than anything. Even though I find it hard to grasp the most wonderful thing in my life is gone... I simply must face the fact it was a fake. He said so himself. And no matter what Carmen thinks. I just don't know how to trust him anymore."

Leo noticed how emotional he got with every sentence he spoke. He even felt his tears turning the picture of Diane in front of him into a blurry bubble. But still, he knew it was the right thing to admit. Right here and now.

"I will go on," he said. "I must. Or this will eat me up alive... So, no. I will not think about it anymore. I've met so many more amazing people during the years I spent with him. And I think people like you...or Clara...or Carmen and Roger... You are the reason I am still here and able to stay sane. That's what real friends are. That's what a family is."

Diane smiled and felt her own eyes filling with tears again. Softly she touched his hand on her cheek. For a second she closed her eyes, wishing to stop time. Just for that one moment.

"And even though I probably won't forget about him for a long time," he only whispered now, pressing his forehead to hers. "I will manage to get over it."

"Leo," she opened her eyes and knew her tears ran down her cheeks just then. "You're not like Carmen. Or Clara. I had been so shocked to find out you were with a man. But believe me, you are different. It's not the same."

"I know," he answered silently. "I don't know what I am too. I had been blind and stupid for a while. I gave in to a man I fell for. It just happened. And all I can do now is trying to set things right again."

"How?"

They were so close to each other now, just looking in each other's eyes. And it seemed to last an eternity. Diane still held Leo's hand on her cheek.

"I beg you to forgive me," he said. "I never wanted to make you feel sad. I never intended to hurt you. And I definitely didn't plan all of this. I never would."

"I guess...," she started and closed her eyes again. Then slowly she took his hands away from her. "That's something none of us planned."

She looked at him once more and smiled.

"I was a fool giving my heart to you," she said, just trying to memorize those eyes that were staring at her so lovingly that very moment forever. "But I think you're making a mistake. You've been hurt. And of course you don't want to feel like that again. But you see, if life taught me one thing..."

He simply stared back, not believing his ears. So, Diane bend forward and for a change touched his face softly. She was still smiling.

"Is you cannot stop bad things from happening," she continued. "The only question you need to ask yourself is was it worth all of that? Have you really gone that far to give up now?"

"This is not my fight," Leo answered shaking his head slightly.

"Oh yes it is," she spoke again. "You love him. No matter how much you try to deny it. Every look; every word, even everything you try to hate now. But you cannot make it go away that easily. And somewhere deep insight you know it. You only need to be brave enough to see it. Only then you will understand what it is your family fights for out there. Even now."

"Diane...I..."

Diane nodded.

"I know," she bent forward a little more and kissed him on the forehead. "But you are not mine. It took me a while to get that, but it's still true."

Leo nodded and smiled. "I'm sorry."

"No need to," she shook her head and stroked over his cheek. "But they need you."

"They fight for the ones they love," he said. "Nothing I am able to do anymore."

"Clara is out there again," she started.

"What?" Leo backed away a little in shock.

"He is convinced this hasn't ended yet," she continued. "I didn't mean to tell you. But he said all of them out there... They are the only ones he has. So, don't think you've lost everything. You still got Carmen and Roger and Clara and me... Don't think that's nothing. It's not just Max worth fighting for."

Leo looked at her with wide eyed. It took him a moment to realize what she had just said. If this wouldn't stop meant they were still in danger. Carmen and Roger. And Clara. As well as everyone else out there. And suddenly he felt foolish having believed this must have been it. After all, he'd passed out. All he knew were the things they told him. How could he believe for just one second it might had been all. Or that one night could change anything? And worst of all he knew they were out there; every single person he still loved.

He felt lost all of a sudden. What if it had been really the last time he'd talked to them? He couldn't abandon them just like that. But then again, what could one person do? He was alone after all.

Leo turned his head once more to Diane who looked at him with her huge eyes; just as though she was expecting him to say something. And the image of her almost made him laugh out loud. Not because of the odd situation, but because of his own stupidity that hit him right now. He was wrong. All along. So damn wrong.

He wasn't alone. He hadn't been for ten years. No, it was these people who made him who he was. And now they were out there somewhere.

"Where did he go?" Leo finally asked.

"Back to that street," Diane answered calmly. "He said he wants to find out more about what Pembroke's planned."

Leo nodded shortly and then got up although his whole body was trembling. And as soon as his feet carried him a short moment, the room started to spin around him. He grabbed the nearest thing he could reach – the bed frame- to not immediately collapse again. A stabbing pain shot through his head right after he was able to balance himself out, making him moan and putting his hand on his head.

"What are you doing?" Diane was on her feet within a second, hurrying by his side and supporting him. "Leo! You cannot get up yet! It's dangerous. You can't even stand properly."

"Please," he answered, pushing her softly away from his side.

The shock was clearly written all over her face, but Leo just smiled at her.

"I need to find them," he said soothingly. "Try to understand. Clara put it right. They are all I have."

"But...you are injured," she replied desperately. "You could harm yourself seriously going out there again."

"I have to," Leo said. "Don't you see? I cannot stay here waiting for them to run into their decay. You said it yourself. And it's true. If there's just one thing worth fighting for, it's them."

Diane started to shake her head, but at the same time a smile appeared across her face. A sad one though, but still a smile.

"You are crazy," she laughed, more at the absurdity of all of this. "I will never forgive me if something happens to you. But if that's what you need to do... I will follow you."

Thus, she took his arm and steadied him. Leo slowly let go of the bed frame and immediately felt the world around him starting to circle. But this time he knew there was someone by his side to prevent him from falling. He smiled at her.

"Thank you," he whispered.

And although it would probably take them forever to reach Christopher Street again, Leo ignored everything. The little voice that said he couldn't do it. The pain that started again, even the exhaustion he already felt having moved just a few steps.

All that mattered where them...

~To be continued~


	17. The revelation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Another chapter. It makes me feel sad though, not much is left. This story will be over soon and I can't imagine what to do without itXD I am too soft, I know. But somehow I've been working too long on that. But well... Here it is ^^ Hope you won't hate me and (as always) I hope you'll like it.

The sound of that shot felt like someone shook them awake. Just as though someone had separated the screaming people from the secretly silent in that nightly brawl. And a terrible silence was what followed. The kind of silence that made him feel all alone for an uncomfortable long period of time, yet he knew they were surrounded by so many. The city held its breath for a second.

At first, Scott had no idea where his father had pointed that gun at. It almost seemed as though he just wanted to shut up every little noise around them. A dramatic appearance which suited him perfectly. Foreshadowing he saw the hated devil stepping closer, wearing that evil look in his cold eyes once more. Scott simply glanced back wickedly. His body was tensed and he was ready. He'd fight him. This had got to stop; right here and now. He heard his friends fighting around them and the pure presence of Daniel next to him made him feel secure. No, he was more determined than ever before. There was no other way. And he would never return to his old life. His father just needed to understand. And this was his chance to make him see.

But then, Daniel grabbed his shirt and made him whirl around. When their eyes met, Scott was thunderstruck and gasped.

Daniel looked at him with wide eyes. It took Scott only a second to know why. In horror he looked at the gash that bullet had caused in his chest and watched his partner's blood dying his shirt dark red. For a moment Scott held his breath, as he felt Daniel's shaking hand on him.

"No," he whispered in shock.

But before he could act in any way, Pembroke stood frighteningly close to them, aiming at the two young men in front of him. Scott reached out and held on to the shivering arm of his partner.

"I've told you to take my warnings seriously, Scott," Pembroke spoke calmly.

But Scott wasn't able to answer. His eyes still rested on his partner and he felt the cold sweat of panic appearing on his forehead. He knew that knot appearing in his stomach oh too well. And that panic in his mind telling him what the probable outcome of this was, even though his whole being resisted to believe it yet. Only the metallic clicking of that gun being loaded again finally made him look up in fear. Pembroke was pointing it at him now.

"Look what you have done now," he said, still as calm as if he was talking to a child. "This hadn't been necessary if you hadn't disobeyed me again. But I'm giving you another chance. You can still be cured. Let go of that abomination and we'll forget about it."

Scott felt his whole body start to shiver and he wasn't able to blink as he stood there staring at that man he knew so well with horrified eyes.

But suddenly Daniel pushed himself in front of him again and straightened up. He stretched out both his arms, facing Pembroke as though nothing had happened. Scott saw his shaking arms and knew in an instance how much strength it must cost him right now to do that. Small drops of blood dripped down from his fingers. But Daniel didn't back away a bit.

"You won't touch him," he said determinedly in Pembroke's direction. "It's not up to you to tell him what to do anymore. And I swear you won't get him. Not as long as I am standing here!"

"Ah," Pembroke grinned at him with that evil smile. "Well, that in case is a state I can change easily."

And before any of them could blink, he swayed his arm around and fired another shot at the man in front of his son.

Scott only grasped it, when Daniel slowly sank to his knees and collapsed right in front of him.

"No!", he screamed and rushed by his side within seconds.

He lifted his head carefully, pressing his hand on his chest, desperately trying to prevent his second wound from bleeding. He was breathing fast and after a while he couldn't even see his hands properly anymore as his sight became blurred and his tears fell down his face, mixing with the blood on his own hands.

"No. Please no," he cried. "Hold on."

He tried desperately to stop what deep insight became a certainty more and more the longer he sat there beside Daniel. Only when he felt a hand on his cheek he stopped in shock and turned to look in the eyes of his partner again.

Daniel looked at him weakly, yet smiled stroking his cheek.

"Be brave," he whispered, not leaving him out of sight.

"Don't say that. You'll be okay again," Scott cried. "I'll get you out of here. I promise."

But Daniel only shook his head without losing his smile.

"I love you," he replied. "Never forget that."

"No," Scott sobbed, holding him tighter. "Don't!"

"You can fight him. You can win. Don't allow him to persuade yourself you can't. You're stronger."

"Daniel," Scott sobbed. "I love you."

He saw that little smile on his face appearing again, but then his eyes faded. He didn't turn his head away from the younger man though. But his eyes slowly shut until he breathed his last breath.

"No!" Scott's tears were falling uncontrollably now. He bend forward, only holding the lifeless body of the only person important to him in his arms a little tighter.

"NOOOO!" he cried frantically.

"Get him!" he heard Pembroke's voice again.

…..

When Max and Roger stepped out of the cafe they were shocked. All the people passing them and the screams was exactly what they had experienced the night before.

"We cannot let that happen again," they heard people screaming.

"Those cowards!"

Max and Roger looked at each other. But the shattering of bursting glass next to them made them flinch with shock rather quickly again. Someone had thrown a chair out of a window nearby and now people were climbing out of it, followed by yet another bunch of officers storming out of the front doors.

"They're herding them up!" Roger whispered in shock.

"We need to get away," Max replied. "Now!"

"What?" Roger whirled around. "But..."

"I know," he cut him off. "But if we remain here, we'll be next. They don't care if you're part of this community or not. You're here and not armed. That's all they are seeing."

"Max, are you willing to risk something now?" Roger asked, facing him once more, grabbing his shoulders.

"What?"

"There must be a way to stop this. Now! Let's join them!" Roger's face was a mixture of determination and fury right now. "I believe Leo would think so too. Think about it! What have you got to lose?"

Max closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Mentioning him hadn't been exactly necessary right now. Or maybe it had. How many times had he heard the younger man talking about not wanting to hide. How many times had he complained about the injustice towards all of them? Yes, Roger was right. Leo would have joined them. All of them.

But that was exactly what was responsible for Max having lost him, wasn't it? It was risky. It was dangerous. And yet there was nothing he could lose anymore. And if he was really honest with himself, this was it. That one moment to prove what he stood for. Especially after standing up against Pembroke in the first place. Why not doing the right thing for once?

Leo was gone. That's was true. But Max was still there. And he knew his partner would have loved to see him standing up for once.

So, Max nodded.

"You're right," he said silently. "This ain't how it should be."

A wide smile spread over Roger's face and seconds later both of them were standing in the middle of that crowd once more.

….

Carmen didn't believe his eyes.

When he arrived at Christopher Street again, he was petrified for a moment. He stood there unable to move a muscle, his eyes teared wide open.

"Oh my God, Roger!" he thought.

People were running around wildly mixed and their screams were heard for miles around. He'd had that bad feeling something wasn't right when he approached the street, but now it felt like a deja-vu. The very same feeling he'd had only a night before that. And it came so unexpected yet again.

The police wasn't exactly gentle this time too and they had been expanding their team clearly. At first Carmen was only able to see them, before he even noticed the few trying to defend themselves. They were throwing bottles and stones at them, just as they did the night before. But this time they were prepared whereas the injured heart of Christopher Street clearly was not. Many of the people were still wearing the wounds of the previous night on their faces and it became clearer and clearer they didn't expect another brawl so soon.

Carmen began to breathe faster. Why did this repeat every time he dared to go here again? He hated it so much. Seeing the fear in the eyes of those being literally hunted was exactly what he never wanted to see again.

"There's another one!" he heard some deep voice next to him. He turned his head and was enormously shocked instantly to find three heavily armed officers running in his direction. He wanted to scream; to run away. But somehow his feet just wouldn't move. And within only a second he knew exactly why. This had happened before. Fifteen years ago. He almost expected Pembroke to show up in front of him and could already feel those bats again.

Carmen's face turned white and he couldn't breathe anymore.

But just as they were frighteningly close, one of them was hit by something large and he immediately collapsed on the street. The others turned and obviously weren't less shocked.

"You stay away from him!"

They lifted their heads. Their faces were red with fury.

Clara stood some feet away from them, holding yet another brick-stone up in the air. Behind him five other men, presumably his age too, raised their arms as well. All of them were carrying different heavy objects too.

"Dare to fight someone armed as well, you cowards?" Clara screamed again.

The two remaining cops were on their feet in no time and furiously screaming as well they ran towards them. Their steps sounded like thunder on the road, but Clara just grinned cunningly and whistled once, pointing at them. The five guys behind him seemed to had been waiting for that and with loud screams sprang at their attackers, bombarding them with everything they got; jumping on their backs or even just running around them to confuse them even more.

Carmen observed it and couldn't help but jeer. This guy was unbelievable. Not only did he follow him again, he also somehow managed to round up some people in no time. However he managed it, it worked.

"Come on," he heard him only seconds later. "Don't stand there rooted. Follow me!"

Clara stood next to him and grabbed his sleeve, pulling him out of his stiffness. Carmen didn't have the chance to think about it, but followed him without hesitation. He swallowed his horror that moment and simply ran. He neither knew where they were heading to, nor did he remember he wanted Clara to stay away from him.

And for a moment, it felt like old times somehow. He knew these streets. He knew every curb, every bench and every tree they passed. And the wind blowing in their faces made him almost forget why he turned his back on all this in the first place. He was quick. He never once lost track of Clara. They ran next to each other and every once in a while the taller guy would stop for a split second and threw something at anyone trying to attack them or jumped in front of Carmen, hitting some other officer in the face.

"You might want to wear that again," he said to Carmen, pointing at his hood.

Carmen didn't think twice and pulled it over his head again before they continued to run.

But then a large group approached them from their right. Clara got them before Carmen even noticed, hitting one of them away from the other man. They didn't have to wait long and another twenty drags standing nearby jumped in, brawling for each other. Carmen stood a little away and almost laughed seeing this. Unbelievable. The solidarity was amazing in so many ways. Even though they couldn't possibly stand a chance against them. Not so much had changed obviously. And they fought for him too, even though he knew none of them and none of them knew who he was. Apart from Clara of course. And he was in there, fighting as if his life depended on it, always keeping them away from Carmen. It made him feel weird in so many ways. If he really risked so much, just to make sure he remained unharmed, he really must believe in him after all. Again, Carmen felt strangely touched.

He turned around until he spotted Clara again. He was dealing with two of them at once and Carmen was impressed how quick he could move. And how talented – or trained- he was in knocking them down, still wearing heels and using nothing but his hands. Okay, and his scarf. In fact, he performed an artistic maneuver that would have left every circus in awe. He knocked one of them out by blindfolding him with his scarf, while still being occupied with another one. Carmen hardly believed his eyes either, seeing this. How on earth could this guy have sunk to his knees in front of him being able to do something like that? It made no sense to him at all.

But then suddenly he saw a third guy approaching the party from behind. Clara clearly didn't see him coming.

Carmen looked around desperately. None of the others saw him either.

"No," he thought by himself, looking shocked at that man again.

He held up his bat and was so close now. Only a few steps more and he would reach Clara for sure.

So, without thinking any more Carmen started to run. His feet carried him there without him being in control, but he didn't mind. He jumped over a bench standing in their way and grabbed a nearby plank on his way, almost sliding through the crowd. Agilely he dodged these fighting small groups a few times.

"Look out," he yelled at one of the boys and speedily rushed by his side, hitting one of the officers in the face, so the unknown guy was able to knock him down with one skilful kick in the stomach.

They nodded at each other and a wide grin spread over the face of the young man.

"Thanks pal," he said gratefully and turned to help one of his companions.

Carmen on the other hand kept on running towards the dark haired guy he wanted to avoid so badly quite recently.

"Clara!" he screamed. "Down!"

Clara saw him coming from the corner of his eyes and even though his hands were occupied with keeping the two policemen away from him, he instinctively ducked away hearing Carmen's voice.

Striking out widely, he beat that third man down without hesitation, hitting him on the head with that plank.

The large man moaned noisily and sank down to the ground immediately.

It was then Carmen only seemed to get what he had just done. He stared at the person on the ground and then at the plank his hands still held firmly. He threw it away in not time and took a deep breath. This was way too much like old times and he swore himself a long time ago never to do anything like that again.

"I knew you still had it in you," Clara grinned, standing next to him.

Carmen turned and looked at him with shocked eyes. But Clara only nodded and didn't stop his grin.

"Come on," he said, patting Carmen on the shoulder once.

They started to ran close to each other again. And when Clara witnessed Carmen jump over different obstacles and avoiding people who tried to catch him with an elegant lightness and couldn't suppress a hidden smile, running next to him. Only one thought crossed his mind the whole time: 'He's back!'

They arrived at one of the houses at the end of Christopher Street after what seemed like an eternity. Clara hammered at the door with his fists.

"Open it," he screamed, looking around in panic. But nothing happened. Carmen watched it standing next to him, catching his breath and when he turned his head, he knew why Clara sounded so different all at once. He saw two officers approaching them again. He gasped slightly. This could end very nasty. Whatever he had planned he should hurry a bit.

Clara whirled around once more.

"Come on! It's me!" he screamed again.

And just as they were almost reaching them, the old wooden door opened slightly, making room for both of them to enter. Clara almost pushed Carmen inside.

"Go!" he yelled, turning once more and kicked one of the men away with his foot. Another young man suddenly rushed past Carmen and only seconds later stood next to Clara. It took them only a heartbeat to strike down the second guy.

Then they turned and shortly nodded at each other. Quickly they came running towards Carmen. Clara patted him on the shoulder and made him move gently by pushing him ahead of himself. The other guy locked the door carefully behind them.

Then there was silence. The chaos outside was only a muffled noise in there and it took Carmen a moment to get used to the darkness. Even though the night had already settled outside, it was still so much darker in here. But probably because there were no burning cars and streetlamps illuminating it. Only a little light shone through the cracks of the old wooden planks they'd used to barricade the windows with.

"Heaven's, what took you so long?" the guy who helped Clara asked then, smoothing his blond hair with both hands and then turning to the dark haired man with a smiling face. He sounded older than he looked though. "We thought you got lost out there."

"I was a bit occupied," Clara smiled back and stepped closer, hugging that blonde man tightly. He was even taller than Clara, considering he wore heels all the time.

Carmen stood in a corner silently with a mistrusting look on his face, pulling his hood a little closer to his face. He looked around. That house was a dump really. Someone had darkened the windows and barricaded the doors, so only one room was left for the people inside. There were five more people sitting on the floor and leaning to the walls, who were now looking up to Clara. It was only then, the little light a few candles gave in there, showed him their faces. Carmen gasped slightly. Those were the five guys Clara had been rounding up to keep those first three men away from him. They must have been quite quick arriving here before him. That blonde guy at the door, a smaller pretty young looking boy on the ground, a black drag standing next to them and two ragged looking guys sitting on an old carpet.

"Where have you been?" the boy on the ground asked. "Not showing up here for two nights and then making us risk our necks for some stranger? Where do you always find strange folks like that?"

"I was with a friend who needed help," Clara smiled and stepped into their midst. "What happened here?"

"God only knows," another drag leaning on the walls said and came closer too. "We thought it had been all, but they were upon us again. No one knew."

Clara moved over to Carmen, taking his hand carefully. Only then, Carmen noticed how much it hurt. Hitting someone in the face was no big deal, but no one ever spoke about how painful it really was. Apart from the pain, his hand turned blue immediately and his knuckles were bleeding slightly.

But Clara just grinned at him. Something Carmen didn't quite understand at first.

"What you did out there was pretty good," he whispered, looking at the shorter guy again. "I mean stepping in there and helping me before they could mangle me."

Carmen didn't reply. He held on to his hood with his other hand, while Clara teared up a piece of cloth hanging loosely from a box next to them and carefully bandaged his injured hand.

"Still ignoring it, hm?" he grinned again.

"Ignoring what?" Carmen whispered back. He really became tired of that guy telling him who he needed to be. He'd made his position clear. Or at least he thought so.

"I told you, you can't hide it," Clara continued. "I've noticed that spark insight of you again. And I feel honored having been the one kindling it. Shows you do care for your people after all."

Carmen turned his eyes away from him, but was thoroughly able to hear Clara's giggle before he turned to the five men again.

"This is insane," he said a lot louder now. "There's no reason to attack us again."

"We fought back, that's why," the man on the carpet said. "It's that Pembroke jerk. He's out there taking revenge on all of us."

"He's out there?" Clara asked wide eyed.

Carmen held his breath for a moment.

The five men nodded simultaneously.

"You've seen him?" Clara asked again.

"Yeah, it's just like it had always been. Last night as well as the many times before," the blonde guy at the door answered. "He's brought them here. Heaven knows what it is that he wants. Or why he is still doing it. But he seems determined to get rid of us once and for all. You saw it yourself. They are even more than the last time. I doubt we can do anything."

"If we get people to stand up for us too, we can," Clara replied.

The guy laughed, leaning his head to the door. Then he turned and faced him again.

"How many times have we heard that before?" he asked. "Why can't you face it? We're screwed. Not even our people stand up. This will only end when he got all of us locked away or killed. No one cares."

"Yeah, it's impossible," the other man on the floor joined in.

"It wasn't always like that," Clara grinned. "Just remember some years ago."

"And what are you gonna do about it?" the drag asked, his voice getting louder. "Even at that time, he got what he wanted. And to be quite frank I thought it would stop the moment he got his hands on Scott. His son could turn this away from us. And even his death didn't change anything."

"Exactly," the boy on the floor sounded. "We're not organized. We don't fight back. We have done it once and you as well as everyone else knows what happened then. This is pointless."

Carmen pressed his body even closer to that corner now. They really didn't forget. Why? Why did his past come up so often now? Because people stuck to the bit of hope they had left in bad times? Or just because it was so similar to the night fifteen years ago? Carmen wasn't able to tell, yet he noticed and clenched his fists. And he was careful not to arrest any attention. He had that foreshadowing feeling of knowing what was gonna happen if they noticed he was still standing there.

"So you wanna sit here and wait til they get you?" Clara asked, looking around. The four around him lowered their heads in reproach. "Or live in denial for the rest of your lives just because he can't face it's not 1920 anymore?"

"1920 was easier for our kind and you know that," the black drag answered. "We can't do nothing against the whole 'normal' world hating us. They'll win this too. No way to pretend we can live up to Scott's deeds."

Carmen rolled his eyes. This just couldn't be true. They could not really think that.

"At least, we've tried," the door-guy spoke again a little defiantly. "While you were out there, trying to rescue some stranger instead of any of us," he pointed at Carmen without looking at him. "Face it, Clara. No riot in the world is gonna change anything. Not with only one night. We cannot win. We'd need a miracle for that."

But Clara just started to grin, knowing perfectly well all their eyes were on him that very moment.

"What if I brought you that very miracle?" he asked.

Carmen's eyes grew wider. He pressed himself a little closer to the wall behind him; hiding deeper in the shadows as Clara stretched out his hand in his direction.

"Don't be afraid," he whispered, stepping a bit closer to Carmen. "They only act rough."

The door guy jeered. "A shy stranger," he said. "How very encouraging."

But it was then Clara pulled Carmen gently out of the shadows. His face was still in the dark though.

"Allow me," Clara asked with soft eyes. "Nothing's gonna happen to you. Believe me!"

He reached out and slowly took down his hood, looking at Carmen still. The young man looked terrified somehow. He had his eyes closed and bid his lips. He knew in an instance their eyes were on him. He could sense them and even the rude guy at the door swallowed his words immediately. Their eyes became wider and their jaws dropped. The boys on the floor, flinched and within only a second they were up to their feet. The drag at the wall stood upright and took down the woolen hat he was wearing.

Carmen then opened his eyes slowly and looked from one to the other a little uncertain and within a blink felt like hiding in that dark corner again. He knew these looks. He knew what they meant. And he knew the expectations that came with them. And the questions.

"This ain't possible," the drag gasped, clutching his hands over his mouth.

All five of them were stepping a little closer and gathered in a semicircle around Clara and Carmen. They didn't dare to touch him though. They only kept staring at him with unbelieving eyes.

"I told you it was worth it helping me with this one," Clara grinned and crossed his arms in front of his chest, addressing the blonde guy.

"But...how? How... is that possible?" the door guy stuttered and sank to the ground, looking up at the young man in front of him with wet eyes. Carmen clenched his teeth, looking embarrassed. Seeing him there actually froze his back and he almost whirled around in shock seeing tears in the eyes of all the others too.

"You...They...they said you were dead," the guy on the floor sobbed, but smiled. He wiped his tears away quickly meeting Carmen's eyes, yet he was the first to dare addressing him directly now. "How is it possible you're standing here?"

Carmen avoided his eyes and his hands formed shivering fists. That was exactly what he wanted to avoid. He'd always known people would recognize him here. And the more they knew the harder everything was going to get for them. He just knew.

But what did he expect? He hadn't had a plan. He didn't even want to come back here if it hadn't been for Roger. How stupid of him. It didn't matter what he wore. Nor if he had his face covered behind hats, cloths or hoods. Of course, he would be recognized.

"It IS a miracle," another one whispered. "Scott! He's returned."

"You came back?!" the drag said, not believing his own eyes. "You weren't dead all these years?!"

"Just when we needed you most," another one said.

"STOP IT!" Carmen screamed all of a sudden, closing his eyes. All he wanted just now was to cut all those condemning questions off. His heart had been asking them to himself over and over again all those years. No need to go through it again. He knew they were shocked too by that sudden outburst. And he knew no one expected that. Least of all himself. When he opened his eyes again, a mixture of surprise and disbelief was still to be seen in their eyes, which kept staring at him. He felt miserable though, shaking his head once more.

"Listen, I told him before," he started slowly, taking a deep breath and nodding in Clara's direction once. "I am not who you think I am."

"Are you kidding us? You must be joking," the door guy said not believing his ears and got up again. "You're here! Why would you return if not to finish what you have begun?"

"I am here for one reason only," Carmen whirled around angrily, pointing at Clara. "I told him before! I am not Scott Pembroke! Not anymore."

"Who the hell are you then?" the guy asked back defiantly. "Are you trying to fool us? Do you really think we'd forgotten about you? Do you seriously think we don't recognize you? What other reason could you have then?"

"To save my family," Carmen answered silently, looking him directly in the eyes. "Nothing more!"

"This can't be true," he heard someone whisper next to him.

"It is true," Carmen answered, looking at another young men with a determined stare. "The Scott you knew does not exist anymore. All I want is Pembroke stay away from my friends. I am no hero. I am not here to guide you and I definitely can't help you! You have to understand this!"

Thus he turned and moved straight towards the door, carefully opening it just a bit, spying outside. He turned his body a little again, pulling his hood over his head once more and almost shyly whispered: "Thank you though!"

Then he vanished out of that building, leaving them shocked.

"It's Scott!" one of the men said after a while. "I don't believe it! No denial. It's Scott!"

"What happened to him?" the drag asked, gazing at Clara once more with that shock still written all over his face. "He ain't even a shadow of who he had been."

"I have no idea," he shook his head, still staring after Carmen. "But he can't flee from who he is. He'll only need to understand it."

"He shouldn't be out there alone," the door guy spoke.

"He's right!" the third man said. "Scott's done so much for us in the past. I don't know why he is alive, nor why he is here. But whatever this means, it's unbelievable. And he shouldn't be out there alone. Pembroke's gonna kill him when he sees him."

Clara smiled once more and nodded.

"Then let's go!"

Each of them nodded back at him and then they ran after Carmen.

….

"What now?" Diane whispered underneath her breath.

Leo didn't answer. He looked tensed though, following the incident with his eyes as good as possible. They hid behind a corner watching the tumult around them. They needed a plan before headlessly rushing insight that crowd, running the risk of getting caught or injured just once more. And they would hardly be able to do anything if that happened.

"We've got to find Clara," Leo replied. "This is madness. He shouldn't have come here again in the first place."

"I doubt he'll let himself be caught that easily," Diane answered. "He's been living in these streets forever as far as I know. He's surely able to find a way out of here."

"Doesn't prevent him from doing mistakes," Leo smiled at her and loosened the bandage around his head, pulling it away softly.

"Leo, don't!" Diane tried to stop him. "This won't help you. On the contrary!"

"I cannot walk in there looking like I've just fled a hospital," he replied. "They'll be on me in no time."

"But you...," she hesitated. They'd be seeing it anyway. One must be blind not to notice how pale and damaged he looked. And she wasn't exactly embracing his decision to join that crowd anyway, but there was clearly no way to stop him now. "Alright, but promise me you won't do anything dangerous."

He smiled at her. "That's what I got you for, right?"

She couldn't help but grin back.

They turned their heads to the crowd once more, searching for a little sign of Clara somewhere. It was frightening he had been right. They never expected to find Christopher Street being attacked once more, least so soon again. And even though people were fighting back, it was easy to make out they didn't expect it either.

Leo turned his head a little, scanning the faces around them. And what he saw then made him gasp slightly.

"Diane! There," he said, pointing in the direction he was looking at.

They swallowed hard seeing Arthur Pembroke standing in between all of them, looking around rather amused. He was surrounded by four large policemen, obviously guarding him. Once or twice his head turned and his cold blue eyes scanned the people around them. Leo knew that look. 'Worthless', that was what it said. Leo couldn't explain it, but a sudden wave of pure disgust came over him seeing it. And somehow it made him angry. More than anything. This guy had ruined everything. If it hadn't been for him, none of all this would have happened. And just as he thought it, he was certain it had to be true.

He felt his feet lifting his body and if it hadn't been for Diane tapping his shoulder just that moment, he was certain to have jumped at that loathed man.

"Clara! There he is," she said, pointing a good feet away from Pembroke.

Clara was accompanied by five guys and they impressively fought their way through the crowd. A community working as one; that was how it looked like. And they were heading somewhere, but where he couldn't make out.

"Come on," Leo said, moving in there direction.

"Are you nuts?" she said. "You can't possibly do anything. Look at them. They are determined to do this. There's no way to get him out of there."

"I know," Leo said, turning to her once more. "But it's like you said. They fight for their rights. And the least I can do is trying to help."

She sighed and closed her eyes. It was true. She told him that. So, why did it made her feel so guilty now? Maybe because she just couldn't shake the picture of the young man lying there in the streets, covered in his own blood. But then again, if they didn't try now the miracle they needed would never happen.

So, she nodded and followed Leo, who was once again quite quick running after Clara and out of their sanctuary. And in a way she was impressed. Heaven only knew how much strength it must cost him, but one could hardly suggest he was injured still and he clearly fought against his own dizziness that very moment; only judged by his movements. But she was determined to stay by his side. He was right. All of them were. This cruelty had got to stop. And they could use any help they could get. So if there was something worth fighting for, then why not joining them?

….

"They're too many," Roger yelled over at Max, looking desperately around.

Max was standing next to him and both of them were breathing heavily. Every attacker they were able to get rid of seemed to be accompanied by at least three more. Indeed, it looked rather pointless. But something seemed to be strange about this after all. Max had watched them for quite some time now and even though they were outnumbering them by far and using their clubs whenever possible, it seemed no big deal the gay community fought back.

"They're not shooting," Max said suddenly with a sinister look.

"What?" Roger looked at him questioningly.

"Just look around," Max said, catching his eyes. "They are armed like the military, but no one uses any of their weapons."

Roger looked around hearing this. And indeed, he was right. None of them fired. They didn't even seem tempted to. It didn't stop them from using what they wore to beat the very life out of everyone in their way though, but still.

"He's waiting!" Roger heard Max again.

"Waiting for what?" he asked and looked at him puzzled.

"I don't know," Max answered sincerely. "But there's no denial he could have ended this until now with ease. Something's holding him back."

"So what's that?" Roger asked in return.

"How should I know? I have no idea what's going on in that moron! Maybe he..."

But Max wasn't able to say another word. Something hit him at his left-hand side and he fell to the ground, moaning. He opened his eyes as fast as he could again, to find another officer leaned over him, holding him to the ground with his bat. He wasn't attacking though, just making sure he wasn't able to get up. In shock he stared at him.

"Well, well, well. Look who's changed sides after all," a voice appeared behind him.

Max lifted his head a little to find Pembroke's slim appearance stepping out of the smoke of a burning car. He looked a little like a ghost appearing in front of them that moment. His eyes were on him as he stepped closer. Max on the other hand wasn't able to reply anything. The man on top of him pressed his club a little tighter to his throat, making it even hard for him to breathe.

"And look who you brought straight to me," Pembroke grinned over at Roger, who clenched his fists. He glanced back at the old man wickedly. "How very comfortable for me."

"Why comfortable?" Roger started to grin deviously. "Do you honestly think we won't fight back? Then you're even crazier than we thought."

"My dear friend," Pembroke chuckled. "I don't see any of you being able to stand against me."

He pulled that gun out of his coat again and pointed it at Roger.

"Then what are you waiting for?" Roger screamed back. "Go on! Kill us! You can't stop them, believe me. They will fight you even harder after this."

Pembroke started to laugh.

"Oh, but there's no use in killing you yet yet," he said. "As a matter of fact I need you alive."

"Why?"

"Well maybe you're the exactly what I need to get what I want," he said coldly. "Maybe you're the key to my success after all. I never believed I'd hear myself saying that but obviously it seems legit."

Then he lifted his hand to point his gun right between Roger's eyes and grinned in an evil way. Roger didn't dare to move a bit. But he was determined not to let the horror he felt show. Whatever Pembroke wanted to get out of this, it seemed he'd gotten it. All Roger could do now is waiting for the inevitable condition of Pembroke. If he really needed both of them alive there simply must be something following this. Some sort of explanation or condition. Or both of them would be dead by now.

Pembroke started to laugh. A laugh that gave Roger goosebumps. He didn't know what was so funny but it sounded more like he'd just noticed something he hadn't before anyway. The old man moved a little closer, not lowering his hand, when suddenly someone almost swept his arm away from Roger, tackling him with a slam. Roger as well as Max flinched by the sudden interruption. None of them had expected it for sure.

Pembroke stumbled and almost lost balance by the sudden unexpected thrust. He got his grip quickly again though and ripped his head around in fury. His angry eyes rested on the person next to him, who had fallen down as well.

Almost timidly Carmen lifted his head underneath that gray hood, lying close to him. He breathed heavily, whirling up the sand on the ground and propped himself up with his arms. Never before had he attacked that man so openly and it was only that moment he seemed to get what had happened.

"You!" Pembroke almost screamed, turning quickly to search for his gun again.

But Carmen noticed in an instance and jumped after him as fast as a shadow. He knew exactly what the old man was about to do once he reached it and there was no way he'd let him. He'd been helpless once. But he would never give him another chance. Not with Roger or anyone.

Max used the opportunity and knocked the surprised officer off of him. Unfortunately the man was obviously trained to repel these kind of attacks and was quickly at his feet again. Max struggled to get away from him and just when he least expected it, the man was hit by something large on the back of his head. Luckily this seemed to do the trick and the man slowly slipped away sideways. Roger was standing behind him, holding one of the police clubs in his hand, grinning at Max.

"I've always loathed this brute force," he said teasingly, swinging it slightly before throwing it away from himself.

Max grinned at him shortly before Roger lend him his hand and quickly pulled him to his feet again. Both of them turned to Pembroke again, ready to run when Roger suddenly held Max back. His eyes widened. He'd just recognized who had prevented him from Pembroke.

And for a second he didn't really believe it had been Carmen who had literally kicked that devil away from him. But he'd recognized that gray pullover immediately. And now Carmen was lying on top of Pembroke, struggling to hold his hands away from that weapon the old man obviously wanted to reach with an insane determination while his other hand held Carmen's roughly.

Roger didn't think twice. In fact he didn't think at all. He let go of Max and ran to his partner, literally jumping on Pembroke as well, making him let go of the younger man. Pembroke screamed in fury when Carmen got off of him, kicking his gun a good twenty feet away. He stood there now, just breathing heavily and staring at the guy at the ground.

It was then Roger let go of him as well, joining his partner. Both of them looked at one another for a short moment only. Carmen almost fell into Roger's arms, hugging him tightly whereas the older man who was out of breath too, flung his arms around him as well. He simply nodded, understanding perfectly what Carmen wanted to say that moment. But quickly they let go of each other again, as Pembroke got up.

With one fast move only he got his gun back in his hands and pointed it at the two of them again. His face was red wit fury as he marched in large steps closer to them, his arm pointed in front of his body and his teeth clenched.

Carmen looked shocked and his body tensed. Roger could feel it without looking at him. He knew Carmen was afraid of that man. More than anything probably. He blamed it on the attack though. Possibly, his partner simply didn't want to get into trouble again.

"So, if it's both of you that's fine with me," Pembroke almost screamed at them, stopping only a few inches away. "At least I'll have that problem gone then."

Roger flung his right arm around Carmen and softly but with determination pushed him behind himself, taking one big step towards Pembroke. And he heard footsteps next to him. A little surprised Roger turned his head to find Max standing next to him, covering Carmen behind their backs as well. He looked angrily at Pembroke as well. And for a second Roger wasn't able to suppress a hidden smile in the corner of his mouth before he turned his head as well.

The old man on the other hand was raging. His breath became faster and his head even redder. He held their stare though. There was no need to say anything. The unsaid protest hung in the air between them.

'You won't get close to any of us!' it said.

But then, he lowered his hand and lifted the left corner of his mouth into an evil smile again, not taking his eyes away.

"Do you honestly think you'll have a chance?" he asked, looking from Roger to Max.

They didn't respond though and only kept staring at him. They were shaking inside, but both of them knew it was dangerous to let anything show.

And then, Pembroke lifted his left hand into the air and with just one twist pointed at them.

Carmen, Roger and Max froze, seeing the huge crowd of Policemen surrounding them in no time. Each of them held their weapons in their hands, ready to use them. And they probably wouldn't hesitate now.

The three of them looked around in horror. Their eyes were wide in shock and slowly all three of them let their arms fall. This was it. Each of them knew without saying it out loud. There was absolutely no way to fight a superiority like that.

Carmen closed his eyes. He knew that situation so well. And for a second he wished he wouldn't have done it. Wished he had found another possibility to keep both of them away from this. They would suffer. Because of him. And worst of all, Roger was bound to find out now. Find out he'd lied to him for fifteen years. He'd lost. Right now!

But just as they were ready to be taken away; when they faced the fact they'd probably die by the hand of that old devil, a shrill whistle appeared behind them, causing them to lift their heads in surprise. They turned around as well as every single policeman standing next to them and Pembroke, who wasn't less surprised.

A huge group of people stood close to them, all looking more willing to fight than ever. Some of them held stick or planks in their hands, others carried nothing. But the determination in their eyes was clear to be seen everywhere. They didn't do anything though. They just stared at the police-force in front of them, causing them to nervously stepping from one foot to the other. Some even backed away slightly. No one seemed to know what to think about this.

Until someone stepped forward, placing himself in front of that crowd. A large person with long black curls, blowing softly in the night wind.

Carmen started to grin thankfully recognizing it was Clara. Their eyes met and the black-haired drag just nodded once at him.

"What are you waiting for?" Pembroke's voice sounded. He was still furious and addressed the police. "Get them! Get all of them!"

It was the one kick these men seemed to have needed, for they instantly straightened up again and started moving towards that crowd. Unfortunately, Clara seemed to only have waited for it. A wide grin appeared on his face and with a loud scream he lifted his arm into the air. Only seconds later, the group started to run towards them, almost jumping at the shocked officers.

….

Leo and Diane didn't believe what they were seeing.

They only stood some feet away from that huge crowd moving towards that barrier of officials in front of them.

"Clara!" Diane shrieked, pointing at their friend with one hand.

Leo lifted his head. There he was. On top of them, screaming his heart out. He was attacking them openly.

For a moment, he held his breath. How daring. But in a way he felt even more impressed by that guy than ever before. He didn't waste any time. He didn't think of any consequences. It was only here and now that seemed to matter to him.

Leo turned his head a little. And then his eyes widened.

"It's Pembroke," he said to Diane.

The old devil stood there behind his army and simply watched the scene. He didn't look too happy though.

And then, moving his head a little further Leo almost stumbled. His heart panicked instantly. This couldn't be.

"No," he breathed in shock, causing Diane to clutch her hands over her mouth.

Between all of them stood Roger and Carmen and...Max! He saw them clearly. And they were about to get overrun by both sides. Everything indicated it. They didn't move. Why didn't they move? Why the hell didn't they move? Leo's breath became faster and he knew that wicked feeling of angst arising inside of him.

So, without any warning, he reached for the nearest weapon he could get. A stick. He was up to his feet in no time and rushed into that direction, when Diane screamed after him.

"LEO! What are you doing?"

"Are you with me?" he turned rapidly, facing her.

"What?"

"Are we in this together or not?" he repeated, looking desperately from his family to her and back. "I need to know. NOW!"

Diane swallowed hard and turned her head to them once. Then their eyes met again. She nodded and got up. In no time she stood beside him and without any more words spoken, they joined that crowd, determinedly throwing themselves on the first officer they were able to reach.

….

Roger and Max looked around petrified. So many people were passing them and they crashed upon each other like two driving trains. Everywhere people were flailing wildly at each other with everything they got. Once more objects were flying and here and there young guys were sitting on the backs of some policemen, screaming wildly just as if this was just a game to them. Some of them were injured, others bleed, but they wouldn't stop now. With high yells and Screams of 'Hurray' they threw themselves in that battle.

"Run! Run!" Carmen screamed at them, pulling the shoulders of his two friends. "Now!"

Max and Roger turned at him and were shocked by his white fear distorted face. And without another warning they started to run after him. They simply followed him, not wondering a bit where he was heading to. But somehow he seemed to know perfectly. And for the first time ever Roger wondered how the hell his partner knew that street so well. How could he know where to go? Or was he simply trying to get away in pure desperation? Also he almost looked different. And the way he kicked away persons trying to get into their way was scary. Not Carmen-like at all. Carmen had never been like that. But maybe it was really just his panic right now? He couldn't tell for sure, but the way Carmen moved and acted in front of his eyes, quick as a snake and merciless in a way, was so unlike the Carmen he knew than anything else. It was almost as though he was one of them. One of that crowd.

He looked over at Max from the corner of his eyes, but the other man didn't seem to notice. He just followed Carmen without asking any questions. Strange. Why was this so different to him all of a sudden?

They suddenly stopped and Roger almost bumped into his partner, who looked around desperately as they faced a wall right in front of them.

"Oh no," escaped his mouth as his eyes searched for another way. "No."

Quickly, the three of them turned once more. The police was following them. They stood in the middle of that battlefield, not able to move anywhere right now. And this army followed them. It felt as though they were chasing only them somehow. But it didn't take long and they found at least two-hundred people next to them, screaming at their attackers in a loud roar. It was a deafening noise.

Somewhere a hand raised. A gun fired. And the sound of it echoed through them, over that square and resounded a few times. It was as though someone had cut into the heart of the bleeding city right now. A dead silence was what followed.

To the surprise of everyone the police stepped aside, forming an alley in their midst.

Roger and Max squinted their eyes to make out who had been firing that gun. And even though he concentrated at that person, who came closer and closer, Roger felt Carmen's body stiffen next to him. The younger man grabbed his hand and pressed it tightly, but didn't dare to move otherwise.

Pembroke stepped forward with his hand still up in the air, wrapping his long fingers around that gun still.

The crowd was silent. No one dared to breathe. No one dared to move. It seemed no one dared to blink either. All their eyes were on him. Carmen stepped backwards a little, almost burying his face into that hood. If only he could run. Hide. Somewhere. He wanted to vanish in that crowd just now. Become invisible again.

But it was then, he felt a hand on his shoulder and another body shoving itself in front of him.

Slowly and cautiously he looked up. Clara smiled at him and gently took his hand off of him. He nodded at him and then turned to Pembroke, hiding Carmen perfectly behind himself and Roger.

"Enough of that," Pembroke yelled, turning once or twice with his gun pointed at the crowd. "You want this to end? Well, me too! It's been enough fighting for my taste."

His voice carried his hatred along and echoed through the crowd, making an icy chill up their spines. The people were staring at him even more evil now. Some of them even looked as though they were ready to jump at him any moment, yet no one dared to move a muscle.

"I will let you go!" Pembroke's voice sounded again. "All of you!"

"Why so, all of a sudden?" Clara stepped forward and within only a heartbeat Pembroke's cold eyes found him. He'd stopped turning and only pointed at him now.

The police behind him moved a little closer, but Pembroke quickly stopped them by lifting his hand slightly. He didn't turn away though, but held Clara's stare.

"Why should we believe one word you're saying?" Clara asked again a little louder now. "You've been lying for years. You've kept that fear of us insight the population in this city alive and strengthened it! You've attacked us more than once! You've beaten us, arrested us and even killed us! And now you've changed your mind? Just like that? Why? Why should we believe just one word you're saying?"

A loud whispering ran through the crowd.

Leo and Diane stood between them, looking at each other questioningly. Clara had a point. A very obvious one. Yet, they held their breaths. They weren't able to join him, even though they knew he was right.

"There's one condition," Pembroke replied loudly. "All of you...You can save yourselves! I will let you go! And I won't touch you again!"

The people around him stared back. It was as though a huge headlight shone in that circle in their middle, just focusing on Clara and Pembroke that very moment.

"Hand him out!" Pembroke continued dangerously, looking mad again. "I want Scott! NOW! Nothing's gonna happen to you, if you give him to me!"

Clara stared back, not answering anymore. But everyone around him was.

"Scott?"

"As in 'Scott Pembroke'?"

"What the hell is he talking about?"

"He is crazy!"

"This is insane"

"This can't be!"

Clara's eyes moved around as he very well heard all those questions, yet he didn't move away, not answered.

Carmen ducked even more behind him now. This was worse than he had imagined.

"I want Scott, nothing more!" Pembroke yelled again. "I don't care about you!"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Roger stepped forward until he reached Clara, addressing Pembroke too. "Have you lost your mind?"

"He must have!" the people murmured.

"He is a lunatic!" others joined in.

"That's the condition!" Pembroke said again, ignoring all of them and facing Roger now. The crowd wen quiet again. "Either hand him over or die! Your choice!"

"Scott Pembroke is dead!" Roger screamed back. "You should know best!"

"YOU WON'T GET HIM!"

Roger whirled around, seeing Max moving by his side; his eyes pointed at the old man as well. He looked more determined than ever before with his hands turned to fists and his body upright.

"What?" Roger's eyes widened as he looked at his friend.

"You will never get him!" Max repeated, not paying attention to Roger. "He chose another way than what you've planned for him. And he made that clear a long time ago. Accept it once and for all!"

"Max...what are you...," But Roger wasn't able to finish his question for Pembroke cut him off again.

"So you've indeed taken sides now, haven't you?" his eyes were on Max now, as was his gun. "Decided it is worth risking everything you have for... for some fairies?"

"There is absolutely nothing you could still take from me," Max replied angrily.

Pembroke's face went red again with fury.

"I thought you had finally learned to use your head, Max," Pembroke said. "I know as well as you do I almost had you. I had you in my hands. I knew you thought the same way. As well as I know YOU were the one hiding that ridiculous partner of yours. I never understood why though. If you were aware of what he was, you could have let him run into my little trap easily... You got rid of all of their kind as well and you were with me in that cleaning. YOU STOOD BEHIND ME! AND NOW YOU'RE SERIOUSLY HELPING THESE PSYCHOPATHS?"

Leo gasped. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. His grip on Diane's shoulder tightened and his eyes grew bigger and bigger. This couldn't be.

"I never stood behind you," Max replied calmly. "I told you before! Yes, you are right with one thing: It was me sending Leo away! But only so you won't get the change to lay one finger on him! No one deserves a treatment like yours. And least of all the closest people in my life! The one's I love! Family! Did you honestly think I'd let you destroy all of that just because you can't accept that love comes in different shapes and sizes? If that means taking sides, yes. I've made my choice! As did Scott! Let it be for once and accept it. You won't get your son back! He's decided for himself now!"

The blood drained from Pembroke's face and for once his eyes widened.

"You are one of them?" he almost whispered in shock.

"I have been all that time," Max replied. "And someone like you will never be able to change that!"

Leo had listened carefully. He felt numb and shocked. He only stared back at Max, who had no clue he'd heard every single word of it. Diane touched his hand compassionately, looking up to him. But Leo didn't notice. Tears were glistening in his eyes as the shock sank in. Had he really been too blind to see through this? Had he been that wrong? Carmen had been right. Everything he'd told him turned out to be true in one single moment.

"And you won't be able to stop us!" Max shouted again. "You weren't all those years ago and you won't be now! Scott stays here!"

The crowd immediately started to murmur again.

"Scott's alive?"

"How?"

"Is that true?"

"What if he's right?"

"Max," Roger turned to him, white with shock. "Is that true? Is he still alive?"

Max looked at Roger from the corner of his eyes and then his face changed. He felt embarrassed all of a sudden and looked down to his feet. He nodded slightly. Roger gasped. He knew? All that time Max knew this? How was that possible?

A second bang shut them up again though.

Pembroke was raging. He looked more like a wild animal all of a sudden, glancing at the two of them in a fury. His eyes were burning and his hair was hanging in his face in loose strands. Then he lowered his arm and pointed his gun again at them.

"I will never forgive him!" he shouted. "It doesn't matter they know now! Scott is alive! You know! I know! And who cares now if they know?"

He turned around once, facing that crowd. And suddenly he screamed again.

"WHY ARE YOU HIDING STILL, SCOTT?" he shouted at someone not visible before turning to the crowd. "Just look at your hero! All of you! Hiding among you! Shivering to his bones! Is that the person you:re all looking up to? He cannot save you! He was never able to do anything! He's nothing but a sick perverted spoiled child! All he ever talked about was to get his will! He doesn't care for any of you as you can easily see now! He made it up! This whole lie about his death. It was his idea! And why? To stay safe no matter what would happen to you!"

Leo looked around. The people around were as shocked as himself and Diane. No one seemed to know what to believe anymore. And if everything the old guy said was really true, he had a point indeed. Where was he? They had lied. For years to everyone. And if Scott really intended to fight for them, where was he? That question hung above all of them.

Where was he?

Carmen closed his eyes and covered his ears with his hands. He fought hard not to scream. And he tried desperately to catch his breath again. This was too much. No more! He didn't want to hear another word. Why was he doing this? Why couldn't he let it be? He wished no one had known all this. He wished no one would turn and notice him. And more than anything he wished Roger was by his side right now, but letting him know would mean putting him in the same position he once had been putting Daniel in. And he couldn't endure this again. Not now! Not ever!

"You won't get him!" Clara shouted again, causing Pembroke to turn in his direction once more. "The reason he'd still hiding is you! You've killed Daniel and then tried the same with him! It's more than understandable he doesn't want that again!"

"So chickening out is his solution? Instead of finishing what he has begun?" Pembroke grinned at him. "Think about it!"

"No need to think," Clara answered. "It's you who is the only problem here!"

"I WANT SCOTT!" Pembroke screamed at the top of his voice now.

"NOT AS LONG AS I AM STANDING HERE!" Clara shouted back.

"Oh, I've heard that before," Pembroke started to laugh. "Very well then...!"

And without any further warning he lifted his arm again and fired one shot at Clara.

Everyone turned to him. The tall drag still grinned at the old man as he slowly and almost in slow-motion sank to his knees. He held his stare still. Sweat run down his face and he looked triumphantly. Yet his face became paler every second.

And then his body crashed to the ground slowly.

The crowd gasped. Diane was screaming something, but Leo held her back from running towards him, while he himself still looked shocked at his friend, lying there motionless.

Max and Roger instantly ran towards him, kneeling next to him only seconds later.

Roger lifted him up carefully, when a huge puddle of blood was to be seen for everyone around. Everyone stepped back in shock. No one dared to say anything. He'd shot him! Right now in front of their eyes.

Max and Roger quickly pulled him back into the supposed safety of that crowd, where people immediately surrounded him.

Carmen rushed forward, pushing them aside.

"Clara, oh my God," he whispered, kneeling down next to him and softly lifted his head. His body was already covered in blood and his eyes began to fade slowly. Yet, the tall man opened them a little and turned his head towards Carmen. He smiled. His clothes turned to a wet bunch of red cloth more and more and that puddle of blood started to spread around him once more, but still he smiled.

Carmen's eyes were wide in horror. He couldn't breathe. Tears were running down his face instantly; he couldn't do anything about it. He kept staring at the guy in his arms. All of this was way too familiar. Way too well known. He didn't believe it. For a moment he held Daniel in his arms again. His own hands were covered in blood quickly too, but he couldn't think. He couldn't care less. He neither heard the voices around him, nor Pembroke's screams anymore. Not again! Heaven's, please not again!

He closed his eyes then, crying frantically. This couldn't be true.

But then, he felt a hand touching his cheek softly, forcing him to look up again.

Clara had braced up his last strength and his soft friendly eyes rested on the crying man beside him.

"You are stronger than him," he whispered in a hoarse voice. "Never forget that!"

"No," Carmen replied. "Please, no! Don't do this!"

"Daniel knew you were worth dying for," he whispered once more, stroking Carmen's cheek once. "And he was right! You can do it! You can beat him!"

"Clara! I...," Carmen started weakly, but couldn't finish. His eyes widened and his face became even whiter as Clara breathed in once and closed his eyes slowly. His head fell to the side and his long black strands fell casually over his face. His hand let go of Carmen and fell to the cold gray ground harshly. Then he didn't move anymore. It took Carmen quite a moment to grasp what had just happened.

"No!" he whispered, but soon it grew to be a scream as loud as thunder. "NOOOO!"

He leaned forward, pressing his face to Clara's tightly. His tears ran down Clara's face as well, but as much as he wished for it, the young man would never reply to it again.

"Oh God, Carmen," Roger said silently as he watched his desperate crying partner on the ground before him. He didn't know what to say nor what to do. This shouldn't have happened at all, yet there was nothing any of them could do about it.

Max closed his eyes, lowering his head as well. It hurt him a lot to watch them. And he didn't move either. Whatever pain Carmen must feel just now, he knew it. He understood.

The night seemed a little darker all of a sudden and even though Christopher Street was burning, no sound was to be heard. Even the police didn't move a bit. Everyone around them seemed to be in shock. About Clara's death. About Pembroke actually being able to do something like that. About the fact he did it for all of them to see.

Leo held Diane in his arms, who cried frantically as well. He himself had his eyes closed, but couldn't stop crying himself. He hadn't known him very well. Nor for very long, but still he had been a part of them. Of his family. Of him. It had been fate they'd met. And somewhere underneath the enormous grief he felt just now, he was grateful. For everything the young man had done for him in that short time. He had been unique in so many ways. And it was unbelievable a light like that was snuffed out within a second forever. Just like that...

"THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE, SCOTT!"

They turned around once more. All of them, except Carmen who remained grieving on the ground next to Clara, his head buried in his hands.

He wasn't strong. He wasn't brave. He was nothing. Absolutely nothing! He'd sworn Daniel had been the last person dying for him. He never wanted to go through this again. And yet it had happened again. And why? Because someone wanted to save him. Why did he have to be the core of all this? This wasn't fair. This was hell. He wasn't special. What on earth was he supposed to do about this? He couldn't stop him!

"You're a murderer," he heard Roger's voice and lifted his head in shock, tears still running down his cheeks. No, he couldn't possibly do that. He'd be next.

"You've killed him," Roger said still shocked, facing Pembroke. "Is that how you solve your problems? By shooting people?"

"Do you expect me to feel sorry for a sick queer like that?" Pembroke answered. "Of course you are. You are one of them too after all!"

He lifted his arm once more and pointed his gun at Roger again. The crowd shrieked.

"Is this what you did to your own son?" Roger continued, not showing any fear. "What kind of father are you? Even if you couldn't live with the way he was... You are crazy! You are a murderer!"

Pembroke suddenly stopped and stared at Roger with wide eyes. But then he closed his eyes. His mouth formed a grin as he took down that weapon. It didn't stay a grin though. It grew to be a laugh; not more than a giggle at first. But soon the old man almost bend over in a loud croaking laughter.

"What the hell's so funny about that?" Roger asked angrily.

"YOU DIDN'T TELL HIM?" Pembroke screamed into that crowd again. "ALL THOSE YEARS, SCOTT? AND HE DOESN'T KNOW?"

"He's lost his mind," Roger said to Max, who looked shocked as well.

Carmen closed his eyes once more.

"At least you've kept your word that once," Pembroke continued. "But it's way too amusing. You're making it so much easier for me, right now!"

People started to look at each other puzzling. No one could explain what was happening here right now. The old man was crazy. There was no better explanation. He'd lost his mind right now.

Carmen looked at Clara still. His body felt numb. His eyes were swollen and his thoughts blocked out that screaming of Pembroke. This was over. With Clara gone, what could they do? They weren't able to fight him. Not without a plan. Not without someone who could foresee what he was about to do.

But suddenly his eyes widened again. He inhaled deeply and held his breath.

'You are stronger than him!'

Clara's voice echoed through his whole being, but it wasn't just him alone. There was another voice. A voice he'd recognize anytime, anywhere. He'd almost forgotten about it, but right now it was as vivid as before. Daniel! He'd said the same. All those years ago.

Carmen's eyes closed again and he tried to breathe normally again. This was what he'd tried to tell him. What Clara had seen. What he'd known. What he had tried so desperately to convince Carmen of. They had been right. They had always been. They could not win. Not without someone knowing Pembroke. Not without someone guiding them. Not without...him!

He was the key. Pembroke wouldn't stop. He'll never start understanding. And all he wanted was him. He said so himself. So what if indeed he could help them to end all his? What if the only way to end it was to face that demon of his past once and for all. To make him shut up?

Pembroke was crazy. He was obsessed with a made-up sickness in his mind and he'd never be different. But if only one person could change the lives of thousands of others, shouldn't he do it then? He was ahead of the old man. He'd witnessed more and had been through more than anybody else during the past years and he knew his sick mind. Carmen knew what Pembroke wanted; how he thought. He even knew the people who helped him.

It was him. All along. Even if he stood there alone, he could do it. He could beat him.

"I am stronger," he whispered, more to himself. But slowly he got up. "It's me! It has always been me! I can end this! I just never should have turned my back on them!"

So, enough of that! Enough hiding! Enough lies! He would finally set this right.

Slowly he steadied his feet, turning around. He saw that devil standing there. In front of Roger and Max. About to destroy everything that was his world.

So Carmen took of that hood. He wouldn't need this anymore.

Some people around him gasped, noticing this. He knew their eyes were on him. They'd recognized him of course. But it didn't matter. Quickly, he pulled that sweater over his head, letting his black suit shine through finally.

"What do you mean easier?" Roger yelled at Pembroke. "What does that mean?"

"I WILL GET HIM!" Pembroke answered angrily. "And you just showed me how to do it!"

"If your son is still alive as you say," Roger shouted. "WHERE IS HE THEN?"

"Why don't you ask him yourself?" Pembroke grinned wickedly at the taller man in front of him. "Maybe he'll tell you everything after all! And you'll see it's been a lie. All of it! But not just on my side!"

"What?"

"I'LL CALL HIM FOR YOU," Pembroke laughed obsessively again. "Oh Scott! SCOTT! THERE'S SOMEONE YOU SHOULD FINALLY FACE!... OH NO, I BELIEVE YOU'RE NOT CALLING YOURSELF THAT NOW, AM I RIGHT? … CARMEN?"

Leo gasped slightly, lifting his head into their direction once more.

Max held his breath and whirled around to Roger.

Roger's eyes widened to a new dimension and for a moment his heart seemed to stop. He didn't dare to breathe. That name sounded in his ears still. He must have misunderstood. Surely that was it. He'd used another name for sure. Chances were given there were others sounding pretty similar.

But somewhere deep insight a little voice told him, this couldn't be true. What kind of coincidence would that be anyway?

He felt a painful knot appear in his stomach. Why should he believe just one word of what that man was telling? He was a liar and a murderer. But why on earth did this shock him so much then?

He couldn't speak. Even though he wanted to.

And then suddenly, he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Roger?" a soft voice spoke behind him.

He whirled around and looked into the soft face of Carmen, smiling at him gently.

"Carmen...What..."

But the younger man only shook his head, not losing his smile. He stroked over his cheek carefully, pulling him a little closer until their faces touched.

"I love you," he whispered before stepping away from him. His eyes rested on the taller man still, who looked at him puzzled. "Forgive me!"

Then, he turned and with one movement of his arm, span that gray sweater in Pembroke's direction.

It landed right before his feet. The old man looked at it shocked for a second, but then lifted his head in Roger's direction once more, grinning even wider.

"What are you doing?" Roger asked frightened as Carmen moved in that direction as well.

"Clara was right," he answered calmly. "It's enough!"

One last smile and Carmen turned. He slowly moved closer to Pembroke with calm steps. He entered that circle the old man occupied for a while now and knew in an instance everyone was able to see him. He heard the people around him inhale deeply. Some couldn't believe it. Some started to cry immediately. Others clutched their hands over their mouths. Roger remained motionless in the back though, just watching his partner with shocked eyes.

"Oh Carmen," Max whispered to himself and shook his head unbelieving.

Carmen tried to ignore all of it. His eyes gazed on Pembroke as he neared him. The old man didn't move a bit. He simply had his own eyes fixated on him and grinned evil. Carmen wasn't afraid though. He kept on moving until they only needed another arm-length to touch each other. It was there he stopped and looked at him still.

The crowd was stunned.

"It's him!"

"I don't believe it!"

"Oh my God!"

"It is true then!"

"Scott!"

Carmen simply stared back at his father. He waited. He'd expected him to shoot him as soon as he stepped out of the crowd, yet the old man simply grinned back at him. But then, he started to laugh insanely. A laugh that would have given him the creeps. In former times. But now, Carmen didn't feel any fear at all. His own face turned darker and darker.

"It's you?" Roger gasped, witnessing all of it. "You are Scott Pembroke?"

~To be continued~


	18. The fight

The crowd was silent. A silence that was louder than a thunderstorm that moment. Unbelievable how loud it could be. It almost hurt listening to it and seen from a little distance it almost mangled the mind and soul of the observer. All these people; all their eyes focused on one person only. He felt them on his body. And the accusations, the questions and the overwhelming guilt they brought along as well. He heard their gasps and the whispering shadows of everything he had been once. Everything he had tried to hide for over a decade. But worst of all was the knowledge of having lied to the only person who should have known.

Carmen didn't move at all. He felt a light night wind blowing through his hair, but he couldn't even blink. He heard Pembroke's insane laughter in front of him and he felt Roger's unbelieving stare in his back like a whip torturing him more and more. And he knew Pembroke would kill him whenever he dared to move one muscle.

Not that he was afraid. No, after all there was only this one chance. And he indeed was the only one to end this. It was him who caused it in the first place. And Pembroke wanted nothing else but his revenge on him. For the heir he'd lost; for the humiliation of having a 'sick' son in this kind of society. But most of all for getting into his way once more and thus forcing him to blow the disguise both of them had been living with within seconds. There was too much at stake for the old man. And even though Carmen had a lot to lose too, it still remained the only possible choice he could see to save those important to himself. To save Roger. He'd rather die facing that demon at last than seeing Pembroke shoot the only person in his life worth living for. In fact, the only person who'd made that life possible as it was.

Pembroke's laughter echoed through Christopher Street still. But then, he stopped and grinned at the young man in front of him wickedly, stepping just a little closer. Carmen felt his breath on his skin but only stared back into those eyes he'd feared for so long.

"I never believed you'd dare to show yourself," the old man whispered into his ear without touching him. Carmen felt his gun on his chest though, hidden from the thousand eyes around the two of them. The old guy started to circle him slowly, but Carmen only stared straight ahead. "And now I'll teach you the lesson you'd needed to learn a long time ago."

Thus he turned around, facing the crowd once more and spreading his arms out wide.

"Look closely! All of you!" he belted triumphantly. "Some of you may remember him, others have heard of him but I bet none of you has ever seen your 'hero' like this. Crawling up to me like a dog."

He circled Carmen like a lion circling his prey. The younger man closed his eyes again and lowered his head gloomily.

"Is that really the one you've been setting your hopes on?" Pembroke addressed the people around them once more. "Someone who hides from you? Someone who left you alone for fifteen years? Someone who only cared for himself and practically lived in paradise while you weren't even able to keep your jobs or homes once your abnormality was spotted? While you've lost everything you knew?"

The people around them still looked at the scene in front of them with wide eyes. Too unbelievable was all this. Some nodded slowly. Others backed away whenever Pembroke took one step in their direction. But still each and everyone was way too shocked to see Scott in front of them and they had one thing in common: They waited. Waited for him to finally make his move. But somehow it just wouldn't happen.

The heavy clouds darkened the sky even more. The wind became stronger.

Carmen heard some murmurs around him, but still he didn't move at all. He remained where he was with his eyes closed. And even though there was too much at stake right now, he just couldn't turn. He still felt Roger's eyes on him and, probably because he had spent so many years with him, he knew how shocking all of this must be for his partner. Or maybe ex-partner. He couldn't say. But he felt more sorry than ever before. He should have told him a long time ago. But no, he'd decided to build everything he had had up to that point on a lie. And it was hardly imaginable how that must feel for the other man right now. His silence spoke volumes though. Carmen knew what a silent Roger meant. Only difference was it was Scott now standing there in front of him and Scott couldn't possibly be certain about it. Or was it really him? How much of him was still there? How much of the decision to finally end up here had really been Scott Pembroke's? And what about Carmen Ghia? He couldn't have vanished all of a sudden.

And for that one moment it was as though every sound around him was gone. His own mind absorbed the noises in that huge mess that was his head and the world became strangely silent. He knew Pembroke was still screaming at the crowd. But Carmen hardly noticed. Slowly he lifted his head and turned it in Roger's direction.

When their eyes met it was as though the whole city held its breath for a moment. Carmen could only hear his own heartbeat and knew exactly what Roger was thinking. Only the older man didn't move a bit. He didn't shake his head in disbelief nor did he back away in the slightest. All he saw was that pair of eyes staring at him in shock; teared wide open and not able to fixate anything else but Carmen while he bid his lips.

And for a moment Carmen felt as though he was turning back time. Back to that day fifteen years ago. It was clearly there in front of him again. He had been stumbling through that large city which for the first time appeared dangerous and dark to him. Freezing, hurt and alone. He hadn't known where to go and he had had no idea if he was going to make it through another night.

He saw Roger there in front of him, who had been trying to convince him to follow him home to have someone look at all the injuries his body had been covered in. How much had he mistrusted him. And how much had Roger done to change that perception. Some manners from back then he'd never abandoned until now. No, truth was Carmen Ghia was no invention but the product of the two of them. A creation of the time they had fallen in love with each other without really knowing anything about one another. It was as simple as that. The person he'd always wanted to be combined with all the love Roger had to give. That's who Carmen was.

Whereas Scott...

Carmen turned his head seemingly in slow motion to stare at Pembroke from the corner of his eyes. He was still stirring up hatred. And even though deep insight Carmen knew this man was supposed to be family, he felt absolutely nothing when looking at him. All of his life this man had been the cause of that great all-consuming fear insight of him. Even when he had been much younger he had always felt tensed whenever he knew his father had been near him. They'd hardly ever talked to one another and each time Carmen had dared to, he only had to realize that there had never been anything coming back to him. No smile, no kind word, no gesture that revealed a closer bond. Of course, he'd only understood it when he had been older. But even then... He'd dared to talk sincerely to him when he himself had found out what he was for the first time. An honest talk, that's what it had been supposed to be. And the result had been a very painful therapy and his own father killing the one he had loved and nearly himself afterwards. Wait, no! Why was he still trying to convince himself he'd nearly been near his own end? The old man had managed it after all. Pembroke did what he'd always wanted to achieve. He'd killed Scott Pembroke. It had been here on Christopher Street, fifteen years ago. Only his father still wasn't able to see the difference.

Carmen took a deep breath. What if he had never needed to run from Scott? What if he'd realized sooner? He wasn't someone else. And he wasn't that shadow of past events. Maybe he'd needed to be exactly who he had become to finally stand up against that man. And maybe a step like that needed Carmen more than Scott...

Roger's eyes were still teared wide open. All he saw was Carmen, standing there in the middle of that place, like a target. He looked hastily from his partner to Pembroke and back. He still didn't believe it. Everything felt like a shock. That man? That monster? He couldn't possibly be the father of Carmen. They had nothing in common. They didn't even look alike. But then again, seeing them so closely together he had to admit they did. In a way. Something he'd never noticed before. So what if it really was true? Why would Carmen lie to him? Or everyone else? If it was true, it meant Scott Pembroke had indeed survived. It meant all the stories about his heroic death had been wrong and who knew what else as well. But most importantly, it meant Carmen was that very Scott. His Carmen. The legend they all had heard of for ages. The hero everyone mentioned when it came to equality of rights. Roger shook his head. He didn't believe it. This just couldn't be true. Carmen never fought. And Carmen never came to Christopher Street. He hated it. He'd never once mentioned any ideas of equality between people. He didn't even want to admit Pembroke had been the one behind the attacks on himself. Roger wanted to tear his own hair that very moment. He didn't know whether to laugh at the absurdity of that situation or to cry out loud knowing deep insight this was the reality. Something he couldn't escape from. Scott Pembroke was alive. He'd lived with him for that long without anyone having noticed. Did that make him another person now?

No, the more he racked his brain about it the less he could find just one logical point about it. Carmen was no one else. A name didn't change anything. He still was the one he had always been. Or at least as long as he knew him. He just never spoke about his past and Roger just had given up asking.

And suddenly Roger's eyes widened even more and he gasped slightly before holding his breath.

How could he have been that blind? All those years he'd had his eyes closed before it. He thought about the many times he'd tried to find out. Way at the beginning. The many things that just never made sense to him. Like why would an injured young man linger in the streets when nothing indicated he lived there? Why hadn't he talked about his name for ages? And the answer had been so obvious, right in front of his nose. But somehow he had never thought of it. Not for one second. And why? Because he'd trusted Carmen all the time. From the moment he'd found him until right now.

But the truth was the picture was finally getting clearer to him.

'It's dangerous to suspect him without being able to prove a bit'

That's what he had said. Over and over again. Of course, it made sense now. He hadn't been defending Pembroke at all but Roger. All that time. All those years. Because he'd known perfectly well what was bound to happen if Roger had tried anything to stop this unequal and unfair treatment. If he had even accused Pembroke of anything openly.

It must have worked that way for ages. Roger had never wondered about it, but now it suddenly hit him like a ton of bricks. He'd never had any troubles being who he was. For everyone to know. Not for once. Ever since Carmen moved in with him nobody seemed to care at all.

It was then Roger understood. Everything. It had been him. All that time it had been Carmen protecting their little family without letting it shine through. And of course he could never answer that one question about his real name. Everyone around him would have known immediately what had happened and thus he probably would have endangered the ones he loved, but most importantly Roger himself.

This was so paradox all of a sudden. Roger had spent the last fifteen years trying to protect this guy in every possible way he could without even suspecting that it had been the other way round all the time.

The tall man gasped finally realizing all of this. And he knew there were tears welling in his eyes...

Carmen looked down once more. All those people were literally piercing him. He'd always hated it when a thousand eyes only focused on him. It was there again right now. He could feel it.

And Pembroke knew. Of course he did. He'd never been that much of a father, but even when Carmen had been a child Pembroke had forced him to speak in front of his workmates all the time. It wasn't decent for a young man to hide in a crowd. That's what he'd always said.

But not this time. Carmen inhaled the hot night air deeply and then turned towards the old man.

"Weak!" Pembroke screamed without noticing he had Carmen's attention now too. "That's all he is. So don't you dare telling me it's Scott Pembroke you're still looking up to! It's takes no less than a miracle to safe you! Not a traitor and a coward like the one you see before you!"

He pointed at Carmen behind him.

"You are right," Carmen's voice caused Pembroke to freeze and even the silence around them seemed to inhale as well for once.

Slowly Pembroke turned to cast his evil look at his son, who stood only a mere hand-length away from him with his head held high and not shattered in the slightest. On the contrary. He stood there daringly proud and not looking like the scared young man he had been before anymore. He even looked so much different all of a sudden, with that black suit and that abnormal hair which pointed in every single direction. He couldn't possibly look more like one of those pansies. And for a moment Pembroke loathed that boy even more.

"What?" As if in a trance he turned slowly. His face was burning and his mind aflame.

"They don't need Scott Pembroke," Carmen repeated loud and clear. "They never really have. So what does it matter I lied? Or that I survived. Or turned my back on them."

"How can you face them after all these years?" Pembroke asked in return. He was furious by how calm that boy was. "How does it feel to be a disgrace once more? To have nothing left now?"

"I have everything I ever needed," Carmen replied calmly. "And it's you who's lost everything. Don't you see that? They've beaten you. More than once actually. You can't break them. It doesn't matter if I am here or not. They would have stood against you anyway. The only question is why the heck do you need me anymore?"

"Shut up!"

"Because you only feel as powerful when you are able to control someone? Is that it?" Carmen's voice grew louder now too. "Well, you got along fine for so many years pretending never having had me in your life. What do you want with me now all of a sudden? Are you really that afraid of me just because I am not what you wanted me to be?"

"I said shut up!" the old man yelled on top of his voice.

"Well, face it!" Carmen was screaming now too, ignoring the fact his father was dangerously close to him now. "There's nothing you can do about them. About us! We're not a disease but something you just never were able to accept. And because of that narrow-minded point of view you've lost everything."

"Well, in that case I've got nothing to lose anymore then," Pembroke screamed back and with one fast punch he hit Carmen in the stomach, who sank to the ground with a loud moan.

The crowd gasped.

Roger was immediately on his feet ready to jump towards them with his eyes wide in fear, but Max held him back.

"No! Roger, no!" he said to the taller man.

So, still in Max's grip Roger stopped again, but his eyes never left Carmen on the ground.

Pembroke started his mad laughter once more. He circled Carmen again and each time his son was able to steady himself a little and started to cough heavily, he kicked him once more. And with each kick the murmur of shocks ran through that mass of people around them and grew louder. Max had to really hold on to Roger now. Diane had her head buried in Leo's chest and Leo narrowed his eyes. How could they do anything against this at all?

"Do you see that?" Pembroke screamed again, addressing the crowd once more. "He won't fight for you this time. He's given up on you. He said so himself!"

"I don't need to fight!" a hoarse whisper appeared next to him.

Pembroke's eyes widened once more. He turned around. Carmen was slowly getting up to his feet again and it took him quite some time to find his balance. But once he'd found it he straightened up and smiled at Pembroke. A thin line of blood was to be seen on his head and his mouth, but Carmen didn't seem to mind. The old man saw it and instinctively backed away a little. He obviously didn't know what this meant.

"Don't you understand?" Carmen asked once more. His head hurt, as did his whole body. But he tried hard not to let it show. He wiped away the blood on his lips with his hand. "There's absolutely nothing I need to do. They fight for themselves. They started it without knowing I am still there. It's not me. It's them. They are so much stronger than me. Than you. Underestimating them had always been your greatest weakness. That's exactly why you will never be able to do anything."

"I will end this," Pembroke whispered dangerously.

But Carmen only shook his head slightly. He was still smiling softly.

"You still don't get it, do you?" he said and spread his arms out wide. "What is it that keeps them here? What do you think made them go on for the past years? It wasn't Scott Pembroke they needed to convince them they deserve better. It's their hope. And their common sense that this here won't last forever. That this can't be all life has in store for them."

Pembroke beamed at him angrily and started to approach him, putting one foot in front of the other slowly. The people around them started to turn their heads to one another. Something Pembroke didn't notice. All he had in mind was that fault in his plan standing there in front of him and once more dared to defy him.

"So what do you think this'll bring you?" Carmen continued, not leaving his father out of sight. "Even if you killed Scott, you couldn't kill their beliefs. Do you think killing Carmen will change that?"

He was disrupted when Pembroke raised his hand and slapped him in the face. Carmen's head whirled around. He remained where he was though and just closed his eyes before getting up slowly again.

"Why did you show yourself then?" Pembroke asked quietly. "You know I will finish what I couldn't do fifteen years ago. Are you really that little of a man that your own life doesn't count for you?"

"Because," Carmen opened his eyes once more, staring straight into the icy blue ones of the old man. "even though they don't need Scott, they need Carmen to remind them of their own strength. Just as I needed Daniel. And Clara. So, even if you kill me now...They won't forget."

Pembroke's breath became faster. He was raging insight and without thinking anymore about it he pulled out his gun. But just when he pointed it at Carmen's face, his arm was hit by a large stone which was thrown at him. He screamed in pain but let go of that gun, which fell to the ground with a dull crash. The old man's head whirled around.

"You leave him alone!"

One man stepped forward; out of the crowd facing Pembroke daringly. If looks could kill Pembroke would have managed it that very moment while still holding his arm.

"Scott," the man turned to Carmen. "Or Carmen... Or whatever your name is... You are right."

Carmen simply looked back at him in surprise, but then lifted his mouth to a small smile.

"What are you talking about?" another man yelled at the guy.

"He hid from us," a woman joined. "He's left us."

"Yeah," another one shouted. "Scott betrayed us. So, why now? Is that just some raising of self-esteem thing? Something to satisfy your own vanity? What's the point in fighting now?"

"Because your god damn survival never depended on him," Roger screamed all of a sudden, causing them all to turn their heads in his direction. Max lifted his head in shock as well.

They were surprised. He could see it in their faces. Most of all Carmen, who stared at him with a mixture of surprise and appreciation.

"Don't you get that?" Roger continued desperately. "Even if he hid...If he lied all that time," he stopped shortly and his eyes met Carmen's, who felt a knot in his stomach immediately. "He did this for all of you. Only by vanishing he could ensure this lunatic didn't kill all of you in search for him. So pretending there was no son of Pembroke; there never had been a Scott who did all this; was the only way to keep you alive after all. And he is totally right. You fought for yourself. You're doing it even now. Open your eyes! It doesn't matter who he is...or whether he was there for you or not."

Carmen didn't dare to move. He could hardly believe what he'd just heard. Roger understood. Perfectly. And he should have known. Whether he was able to forgive him Carmen wasn't able to tell. But it didn't matter that moment anyway. His partner finally saw through all of it. And in a very curious way it made Carmen enormously proud that moment to having gotten to know that man so well over the years.

And his words seemed to reach the people around them. The murmur started anew.

"That's true!"

"He may not be Scott anymore, but he was!"

"He did so much for us!"

"He's back now! If Scott's returned for us now it must mean something!"

"Let's not sit in silence anymore. This has got to stop now!"

"Yeah, he's absolutely right!"

The voices became louder and louder and more and more people joined until a huge choir of angry screams around him yelled paroles of common rights at him. Pembroke turned around a little shocked. But it only enhanced his anger to a new level.

"You see?" he heard Carmen's voice softly behind him again. He whirled around once more with burning eyes. "You cannot do anything to them. They will stand against you. So fearing me isn't really worth your effort when there are thousands just like me."

Pembroke took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a second only.

"Oh yes, you are right," he grinned.

Carmen didn't quite understand. The people around them swore at the old man now, but he only remained where he was and grinned.

"I can't change these sick creatures. And I won't waste my time trying to. They cannot be cured anymore," he opened his eyes again and fixated them on Carmen. His voice grew louder and more dangerous with every word. "But that's not important. Society will never accept them anyway. No. All I want is to get rid of that one thing in my life that plasters everything with mud for years. That keeps getting in my way and ruins it all. The one thing that could keep me from showing the world what a decent life should look like."

Carmen felt goosebumps appear on his arms when Pembroke cast a look of pure evil at him. He teared open his eyes in a moment of not controlling himself and took a deep breath. Regretting it immediately he knew Pembroke smelled it that instance. And then, much quicker than ever before Pembroke whistled once. Like a downpour the officers around attacked without hesitation and only a blink later they were finding themselves in a battlefield once more.

Carmen stood there petrified and within that one second of not paying attention to the old man, Pembroke jumped towards that gun on the ground again and entwined it with his thin fingers as if his life depended on it.

Carmen heard that clicking noise behind himself as loud as thunder and slowly turned. The blood drained from his face when he found his father pointing it at him again.

"And this time," Pembroke still grinned at him maliciously. "I won't miss!"

Carmen could only clench his teeth and instinctively ducked away, holding his hands over his head when that loud bang coming from the gun whistled unpleasantly in his ears. Only when he teared his eyes open again he instantly wondered why he didn't feel anything. He was certain the old devil must have hit him, but somehow he didn't feel any different.

"NO!" he heard Pembroke screaming at something and Carmen had his troubles really turning to look at him, but somehow an invisible urgency dragged him to. But he regretted it too only seconds later.

Despite Max's desperate attempt to hold Roger back, the older man had managed to exempt from his grip and had jumped towards Pembroke pulling his arm high up in the air so no bullet was able to reach Carmen or anyone else for that matter.

"Let go of me, you abomination!" Pembroke screamed furiously. His face was turning red as he glanced at Roger with disgust.

"Roger!" Carmen breathed in shock.

Pembroke was much quicker though. He managed to escape the taller man in front of him with a cunning move, pushing him aside and hastily fired another shot at Carmen who managed to roll aside on the ground in the last second.

He froze as he noticed that bullet hole next to him on the ground. Quickly he turned his head towards Pembroke again who approached him with fast steps, pointing at him once more.

"Get up!"

Carmen whirled around and found Max next to him. He pulled him up by his arms and grabbed his sleeve. He seemed so determined somehow. Carmen heard Pembroke yelling something again though.

"No, you don't!" Roger's voice sounded.

"Come on!" Max's voice rang in his ears. But Carmen stemmed himself against him.

"No, wait!"

Once more he rushed around and his eyes scanned his surrounding as fast as they were able to. Roger had literally jumped on Pembroke's back and kind of captivated him by holding his arms tightly in his hands. He obviously struggled with all his might to keep the old guy close to him and his arms up in the air. Pembroke fought though to get loose. With everything he had. He kicked around himself and tried to worm himself out of Roger's grip.

"Roger!" Carmen yelled in fear, ignoring Max next to him.

"Run!" Roger screamed at him as their eyes met for a slight moment.

"But..."

"NOW!" Roger looked at him demanding and almost desperate. A look that told Max as well as Carmen how much effort and strength it must cost him right now to hold that man back from hurting any of them.

Max came to his senses much quicker than Carmen and without wasting another thought about it he grabbed Carmen's arm once more, pulling him away from that scenery. Carmen just went along, but didn't manage to leave Roger out of sight. He watched his partner getting smaller and smaller in the distance until they were so deep within that fighting crowd again that he had vanished in an undefined splodge of that colorful moving mass.

….

As soon as Roger lost sight of Carmen and Max in the crowd, he internally exhaled with relief. But still he had to face a much bigger problem now. Pembroke who was still struggling, didn't miss the fact they were gone either and according to his furious screams he was blaming Roger now. So, even though it was inevitable to let go of that devil sooner or later, Roger knew perfectly well he was going to be his new target for that. And he wasn't really sure what to do. Keeping him away from Carmen had been something he must do, but he wasn't too keen on feeling the wrath of Pembroke now too.

Worst of all he felt his own strength leaving him the more he tried to keep that man away form himself. And Pembroke seemed to sense it immediately. He twisted his body once and with a fast turn he was out of Roger's grip.

He used his elbows and punched the taller man in the stomach once. He immediately sank to the ground, lifting his head slightly. Breathlessly he glanced at the old skull-like face. He was drenched in sweat and at the end of his rope. There was nothing he could do.

"You!" Pembroke whispered dangerously and hit him with the handle of his gun in the face. Roger groaned in pain as his head hit the ground too.

"This is the last time you've come between me and him!" Pembroke menaced and kicked the man in front of him once more. "I've been too kind to the lot of you for years anyway."

Roger felt that metallic taste of blood in his mouth immediately, yet managed to open his eyes again looking up at that devil with a piercing look.

"You were only scared of him," his hoarse voice replied. "How can you speak of kindness considering what you did to your own flesh and blood for over a decade?"

"This ...Thing...isn't my son!" Pembroke screamed, kicking him again. "And that's your fault. You've infected him. Planted that idea of his kinkiness being normal into him."

The old man almost went berserk. With each kick his rage enhanced more. And soon Roger didn't dare to move at all anymore. He simply waited for the next painful punch.

"You and all these perverts," Pembroke screamed in between his attacks. "What was I thinking agreeing to that deal? I should have killed you immediately, just like I did with the last one."

"Even if you had done it," Roger breathed weakly. "He wouldn't have returned to you!"

Pembroke stopped for once. And much to Roger's surprise he started his insane laughter once more. First quietly, but it grew louder and louder and caused Roger to lift his head slightly. He didn't understand.

"You think you know what he would have done?" Pembroke asked him in a mad way. "Do you really think you know him? He didn't even tell you who he really was, did he? How presumptuous of you to really believe you know whom you are dealing with. How naïve!"

"I think you are the one who doesn't know who he is," Roger answered cockily. "Who he has become!"

Pembroke's body froze, as did his whole expression. Roger stemmed his aching body up again. He didn't wonder why the old guy wasn't using this chance to kill him, but Pembroke let him get up without another word.

Roger straightened up but as soon as his eyes met Pembroke's again, he wished he'd have stayed down on the ground. The old man's mouth was lifted into a wide grin and his eyes glared at him like a demon at night. A metallic click was to be heard before the old man lifted his arm and pointed his gun at Roger's forehead. The taller man held his breath.

"I know what he has become," Pembroke answered silently and a little amused. "Too sad though you won't be able to witness how I am going to end this."

Roger stared at him with wide eyes. His body was petrified and even though it hurt horribly, he didn't even dare to blink. But then, he sighed.

There was no use to try anything more. At least he'd provided Carmen with a little time to get away. If he was lucky, his partner was smart enough to run fast and hide where no father was ever able to find him. And that was all that mattered. Still, he saw his partner's face in front of him the whole time and only wished he could see it again only for a short moment. For Roger knew perfectly well he'd lost that very moment.

So, he closed his eyes and lifted his head slightly. If this was the end he wanted to keep the memory of the person he loved for himself and no evil old demon was going to destroy that.

He took a deep breath.

But just as he expected that bullet to kill him, a voice next to him called his name.

"Roger!"

He opened his eyes in surprise when another young man jumped at Pembroke, tackling him with his whole body. Roger saw both of them fall to the ground. He didn't believe his eyes though. For a moment he even thought the old guy had really killed him and he was fantasizing as his body was slowly dying. But no. This was no dream.

Leo was quickly up on his feet again and jumped at Pembroke once more, trying to take that gun out of his grip. But Pembroke still held on to it.

"Leo?" Roger's eyes grew wider and he clutched his hands over his mouth in disbelief.

"YOU!" Pembroke took a fistful of his aggressor's hair and beat that gun heavily on his head. Leo cried out and rolled over, which gave Pembroke the chance to get up on his feet again.

"I always knew something was wrong with you," he looked at Leo on the ground with his cold eyes. Blood was running down the young man's temples, but still he held the eye-contact. "And even though Max hid you, you are still stupid enough to show up here again? Ha ha, how very amusing."

Leo's grasped the ground around him and held on to it, letting his head sink. He felt dizzy again. This was exactly what Clara and Diane had warned him of. He knew if the old man reached for him again he'd surely pass out. And that would be the moment he was done too.

But Pembroke noticed something was wrong immediately and started his insane laughter again.

"Well, I guess I don't have to get my hands dirty with something as unworthy as you now," he grinned at him. "I think time is on my side for once."

He kicked a handful of sand in Leo's direction, which hit him in the face and caused his to cough heavily. But then, the old man turned and ran in the direction Carmen and Max had vanished to.

"Oh my God, Leo!" Roger stumbled towards him and almost fell to his knees, putting his hands on the younger man's back.

Leo managed to sit up, but immediately felt sick again. He turned his head though and smiled at Roger weakly.

"It's good to see you," he said. His eyes were getting watery, but he didn't mind. It was Roger. One part of his family; one of the people he wanted so desperately to find. But before he could say any more, the taller man flung his arms around him in a bear hug.

"How?" he whispered and the sound of his voice told Leo it must have been quite a shock to see him there. "How can you be alive?"

"I am fine," Leo answered softly, patting Roger's arm. "More or less."

"They said you were dead," Roger pulled himself away and held the young man's head in both his hands, looking at him in an unbelieving way. Yet he managed to smile. "They saw you. On the ground. Covered in blood... How is that possible?"

Leo smiled back. He didn't feel his bleeding head that moment, nor the tears running down his face once more. Was that really what they had thought? All of them? Carmen had mentioned it before, but obviously he didn't yet tell them. But if he was honest to himself, he'd felt like having gone himself for a long time now. Way too long. And he was embarrassed in a way not having noticed before he never should have turned his back on them in the first place. Diane had been right. As had Carmen and Clara been. If only that realization had come earlier.

A shy harrumph interrupted them. Both men turned their gazes to the right. Diane stood next to them, smiling shyly at Roger.

"It was her," Leo explained, looking into the eyes of his friend again. "She saved me. She took care of me. If there's a reason I am still here... it's her!"

"You have been at our house that day, haven't you?" Roger asked a little uncertain, addressing her. But then he got up and moved towards the small woman. Diane backed away a little. It was intimidating somehow to see a tall man approaching her that determinedly. But her body petrified only seconds later, as Roger hugged her tightly too. She surely didn't expect that.

"Thank you," he said softly, letting go of her again. "For caring for him...after all that happened."

"That's what friends are for, right?" she answered silently and blushed slightly.

"Yes," Roger nodded with soft eyes. "Yes, you are right."

Thus, he straightened up once more and slowly started to walk in the direction Pembroke had gone. His body hurt still, but somehow the fact Leo was still alive and Diane's words made him go on that moment.

"Wait," he heard Leo's voice behind him and turned.

His injured friend struggled to get up. It took him forever and Roger could tell he must be dizzy by the insecure way he was stumbling towards him. Almost as though every step hurt him.

"I'll come with you," Leo said and lifted his body.

"You can't even walk properly," Roger said, but subconsciously knew immediately there was nothing he could do against it. Leo simply shook his head.

"I care for him too," he said. "I know what you wanna do. And you can't keep me away."

So, Roger sighed and shook his head at the younger man. What was the point in arguing? Both of them looked pretty worn out and both of them had felt Pembroke's anger crashing upon them. And if that last resort of strength inside them was good for something, it was to keep him away from their friends. Who was he to hold Leo back? They couldn't stand against him alone.

So, Roger nodded.

"Alright!"

And without someone saying anything anymore, Diane rushed by his side and put Leo's arm around her shoulders to steady him.

"Make it three," she said.

They smiled at one another and without a word and as quickly as they were able to followed Pembroke to wherever he was heading. But somehow, they all knew it would lead them to a reunion none of them had imagined like that.

….

Carmen and Max had stopped in front of a building nearby. Max had leaned himself to the wall with one hand and stood bend over to catch his breath again, whereas Carmen sat on the ground with his head in his hands and his eyes teared wide open. Both of them breathed heavily; the only sound they heard right now.

Carmen was close to tears and had his problems getting what had just happened. He'd left Roger with that man. Heaven knew what was gonna happen to him. Or if he still was alive. Even so Pembroke would never have mercy on him. He blamed him for being one cause of his anger anyway and he'd never shown any sign of compassion whenever he'd seen a chance to hurt Carmen in any way.

Carmen closed his eyes and clenched his teeth. How could he have done that? Showing himself had been his decision. Letting Pembroke come near him again had been too. But he regretted it deeply not having told Roger about his past when he still had had the chance. And now he'd run away. He'd sworn to himself never to do anything like that again. Hell, if there was one person worth staying for, it was Roger. Why did he follow Max? Because Roger wanted him to? Because he had been scared himself? Because he wanted to get away from this maniac? He didn't know himself anymore. Only his bad conscience just wouldn't let him be.

"He'll be alright," he heard Max's voice addressing him softly and then he felt his hand on his shoulder.

"How can you say that?" Carmen let his hands fall and looked at him desperately from the corner of his eyes.

"Because it's Roger he'll have to face," Max answered, smiling at the younger man. "He's a tough chunk. He fights for what he thinks is right and no pathetic little worm like Pembroke will stop him that easily."

"He could kill him," Carmen gasped, looking shocked all of a sudden. "And he will if he doesn't get away. He can't probably think all this is worth dying for."

"Obviously he thinks you are," Max answered dryly, causing Carmen to look at him even more shocked. "Just think about it. You've never told him about your past. He'd heard all this for the first time when Pembroke revealed you in front of everyone. And still he faced him. Why do you think he did this? Because of you! Because you're worth it!"

"I wish I could have ended this before it happened," Carmen whispered to the ground once more. "I never wanted this to happen again. Only because of me. I need to go back."

"He'll kill you then," Max answered silently.

"I know," Carmen nodded. "But we've done so much to keep him away from the ones we love. Both of us. Just think about what we did to get Roger back. How could I possibly run away now and leave him there?"

Max stared back at him. He wanted to say something, but somehow he couldn't find the right words to respond. He knew of course Carmen was right. Deep within everything he said made perfect sense. But seeing another friend losing his life didn't make it easier to admit it.

And while his thoughts were fighting each other, Carmen got up slowly.

"I've gotta go back," he said determinedly. "It's just as I said. No more hiding. They know now. And more importantly, Roger knows as well. I simply need to try and put things right. I'm going back!"

"Believe me, I know how you must feel right now," Max said after a moment of silence, but then nodded and looked at the slender man, smiling slightly. "This is suicide. But if that's your decision...you can count on me."

Carmen smiled back at him, but quickly his head bowed again as he closed his eyes for a second. The older man still leaned on that wall and looked straight ahead. And for a moment Carmen felt enormously selfish. He'd totally forgotten about Max and how he must still feel not knowing about Leo. There had been no chance to tell him.

"Max," his face brightened suddenly and his smile was back as he took a deep breath to tell his friend. Quickly, he grabbed Max's hands and ignored the confused look on his face. "There's something you should know. Leo..."

But he wasn't able to finish what he wanted to say for another gunshot which hit the wall behind them made them duck away in shock. Both of them whirled around once more and within only one second Carmen's face turned white with fear.

~To be continued~


	19. The reunion

Pembroke was standing only a few inches away from them, still pointing his gun at them. No, not them. At him. And realizing he'd missed him once more, the old man quickly stomped closer without ever lowering his hand.

"Run!" Max screamed and pushed Carmen towards the old wooden door of that building. "Run!"

They hurried to get insight. Neither of them had an idea of what to do, still they knew they had to get away. Unarmed and alone they weren't able to do anything.

"Oh, you coward!" Pembroke screamed and followed them quickly. But just as he fired another shot which hit the open door only a hand-length away from them, a loud yell appeared behind him. Pembroke turned.

Roger had thrown another brick stone at the old man. Unfortunately he'd missed him and the missile landed on the ground in a dull crack, leaving a huge hole in the paving. Roger didn't wait though for Pembroke to get where it came from though. He ran towards the old man as quickly as his feet carried him and beat him in the face with his fist.

Pembroke stumbled backwards and smacked the building's wall. He sank down to the ground and bend forward. His hands found their way to his nose, which started to bleed immediately. But there was hardly time to realize what had happened for Roger was on him again.

"Rog!" Carmen yelled, seeing him there. He looked horrible, but still the joy of seeing him alive outweighed it. He stopped and wanted to turn, but Roger seemed to almost sense it and while pressing Pembroke to the wall with one arm, he whirled around.

"Get in there! Quickly!" he screamed at his partner.

"No!" Carmen replied. "I won't leave you here all alone!"

"CARMEN, GET IN THERE!" Roger screamed on top of his voice and caused Carmen to freeze. He'd never shown that kind of actual anger. And certainly not towards him. "I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL BASH YOU INSIGHT IF YOU KEEP PUTTING YOURSELF AT RISK!"

But Carmen gathered all his courage that moment and straightened up.

"NO!" he yelled back. "I can't let you do this because of me!"

"I don't count!" Roger yelled back and suddenly his face changed. It was so much softer and almost desperate right now. "It's you! You're the one he wants. And I cannot see you getting killed by that monster! So please! Darling! Please, hide in there!"

"Roger... I'm sorry I didn't tell you," Carmen spoke a little softer and felt tears welling in his eyes when he heard that nickname the older man had always used on him.

Roger on the other hand only shook his head quickly.

"I can only give you time!" his partner replied. "So please, go now! Hurry!"

Carmen swallowed his own words and as much as he wanted to do what his love wished him to, his feet just wouldn't move one inch. His whole body was like frozen and his eyes fixated on Roger hanging there over his father. He tried to memorize him. Right now. For he just didn't know whether he would ever see him again or not.

Pembroke screamed again, fighting Roger's arm with all his strength. The taller man almost fell to the ground again, but got a grip in the last second, tightening his grip once more.

"CARMEN!" Roger screamed at him again. His eyes were literally commanding him to go.

But he didn't need to say any more, since Max rushed by the younger man's side again and pulled him along by grabbing his shoulder.

"Come on! Get a hold of yourself!" Max yelled at him too.

It was then, Carmen closed his eyes and finally turned to follow Max. He just ran next to him; closer to that door. He didn't dare to loo back. He didn't dare to breathe or to listen to anything around him. He knew perfectly well the headwind was forcing his tears to fly behind him as he ran, but he just didn't want to waste one thought about it. He tried hard to focus on Roger's smiling face, which still was freshly in his mind. That's what he wanted to remember. Nothing else.

They reached the door and Max quickly pressed it aside so both of them would fit in. They had no idea what was gonna happen insight, but anything was safer than staying out there. And who knew how long Roger really was able to hold Pembroke back?

….

Roger saw them vanishing in the darkness of the unlit entrance of the house and just as he was certain they were out of sight he turned his head to Pembroke again. The old man had noticed his moment of 'weakness' though and immediately raised both his arms and reached for Roger's throat, who wasn't fast enough to back away. And within one blink of an eye the picture changed. Roger fell back, trying hard to loosen the grip of Pembroke's hands without success.

Pembroke on the other hand didn't even think about letting go of Roger and pressed him more to the ground. He was pressing his throat more and more and his face turned to a furious red while single strands of his gray hair fell in his face. Roger had his problems breathing at all. He realized though that if he didn't manage to get this guy away from him, this was it. And apparently, it seemed Pembroke was going to win.

"I've been waiting an eternity for this," Pembroke laughed madly as he kept pressing his body's weight on Roger. "You've been a thorn in my side from the very beginning. He would probably have died out there if it hadn't been for you."

Roger was hardly able to find the strength to defend himself anymore. Breathing wasn't really possible right now and he knew he couldn't hold it forever. And already that foreshadowing dizziness started to tranquilize his body and made his sight blurry.

"If I can get rid of you Scott will be a cinch," Pembroke continued, laughing madly. "I bet you regret having stayed back alone now, am I right?"

"He's not alone!" a voice behind him said.

Pembroke's head snatched back as Leo jumped on his back, pulling him off of his friend.

Roger writhed on the ground and started to cough heavily when Pembroke finally let go of him. He put his hands on his throat and took several deep breaths before noticing a hand touching his back softly. He lifted his aching head as good as possible and looked into Diane's worried face. She grabbed his arm and helped him sit up again. What a relief this was. He immediately felt the freshness of the air around him filling his lungs and made his whole body feel a lot better.

"Are you alright?" Diane asked concerned.

"I will be," Roger coughed hoarsely and turned around. "Leo..."

Leo still fought Pembroke, who desperately tried to get him off his back. The chest of the old man was now soaked in red for his nose kept on bleeding. And Leo holding his head up didn't improve that state pretty much. He stumbled backwards trying to shake that troublesome burden on his back, but nothing he tried seemed to help. Pembroke looked around in an almost panicking way. But then, he whirled his whole body and Leo around and rammed the building's wall with all his power. Leo cried out in pain and seconds later slowly slipped down of the old man's back. He fell to the ground heavily and remained there for what seemed minutes. Pembroke didn't think twice though. He whirled around and kicked the young man away from him. Leo was on his back now, coughing out loud and only moving his arms sluggishly. The old man didn't wait for him to recover. He took the handle of his gun and hit him on the head once more, causing the young guy to groan in pain.

"No!"

But before he could reach him once more Diane jumped at him, pulling his arm in the air. He glanced over his shoulder shortly and immediately pushed her away from himself, only staring at her wickedly as she slumped to the ground heavily too.

"What is it with you sickos?" Pembroke grunted. "Has the whole world gone mad?"

He spit at her before he turned and stumbled after Carmen and Max. It wouldn't take him long to vanish behind that door as well. Feeling the darkness of that building in his face, he turned though and flung the door shut behind him. A huge beam standing nearby was just perfect. He heaved it up as quickly as he was able to and stemmed it against the door from the insight.

"This time you won't come between me and him," he murmured dangerously before continuing to climb up the small stairway of that house, his gun held up in front of his body and careful not to make a sound.

….

Diane crawled up to Leo on all fours. He had his eyes closed, but moved his head from left to right and back, clenching his teeth.

"Oh God, Leo!" she cried, softly stroking his hair out of his face only to reveal a wound again. Her eyes grew bigger in shock and she took a deep breath. This shouldn't have happened. It was exactly what she wanted to prevent him of.

Roger was by her side only seconds later, also looking worried down at his friend.

"What has he done?" he asked breathlessly.

She shook her head though.

"He got injured the other night," she cried. "I told him if something hit his head it was going to get worse..."

"Leo?" Roger bend over his friend and talked softly, ignoring Diane's sobs even though he heard her perfectly. "Can you hear me?"

"Yes," Leo opened his eyes slightly and tried to sit up.

"No, don't!" Diane said and almost pressed him to the ground again. "You'll make it worse!"

"I am fine," Leo moaned and supported himself to his arms as he pulled his shaking body up in the air. He almost collapsed again though. His arms just wouldn't carry his weight yet and the blood of his head was running down his face as well.

"You need to get medical treatment or you won't make it," Roger interrupted, sounding worried.

"You don't look better yourself," Leo replied, but immediately bend forward breathing heavily. He felt sick. And the world around him seemed to spin once more and worse of all much heavier than before. He closed his eyes to make it stop, but it got worse every minute. He was hardly able to sit upright and didn't know if he was able to look at them after all. Again, he moaned. A stabbing pain shot through his head all of a sudden.

"Leo please," Diane said again. "This is dangerous. He hit you on the head...with a concussion like that it could cost you your life..."

"So what?" Leo curved on the ground. It was unbelievably hard for him to open his eyes that moment and even harder to speak. It was as though his tongue just wouldn't obey him anymore.

"There's nothing to fight for anymore," he continued weakly. "Apart from them. You said it yourself."

"You cannot do anything," Roger answered with a despair in his voice none of them had heard ever before. "He'd barricaded the door. We can't reach them anymore."

Diane's gaze fell on the taller man again in shock. He sounded much more than desperate. Almost as though he was about to cry all his anger out any moment too. And he looked down at his friend with a mixture of regret and self-incrimination. Yet, the three of them knew there was nothing they could do. They had to wait for the inevitable to happen, for there was no way to reach them now. All they could hope for was that Carmen as well as Max would find a way out of there before Pembroke found them.

…..

They'd arrived at the top floor and stood pressed to a wall. Shoulder to shoulder. Both of them tried hard not to breathe, even though it appeared to be kind of hard after literally running into the building. Max carefully bent forward a little to peek around the wall into the hallway. But it took him only a second to flip back and press his head to the wall again.

Of course, they'd heard someone coming through that old squeaky door too and they didn't even need to guess who it was.

Max cast a worried look over to Carmen, who held his hands over his mouth to avoid the sounds of his breath giving them away. When he met Max's eyes, he let them fall though. His eyes widened in fear.

"Pembroke?" he mouthed without a sound and, gasping slightly, leaned to that wall as well when Max nodded shortly in his direction. His worried look spoke volumes. His father was close. Way too close.

He must have followed them. Heaven only knew how he escaped Roger's attack. And if Roger was still fine. A thought none of them dared to really let slip into their minds, yet it echoed around them as loud as thunder. Whether Pembroke knew where exactly they were or not, they didn't know though. But they sure had noticed that loud scratching noise in the ground floor, which had told them he must have moved something very heavy. Probably he'd barricaded the door with something to make sure no one would be able to follow them. Or to get away for that matter. It had been that moment both of them had hurried up those stairs like they had the devil on their trail. Which in their case was closer to reality than any of them would have admitted that moment. All they'd known was they had to run. Had to try to get away. Wherever that away might even be. They'd tried not to make any sounds, so the old man wouldn't know immediately where they were heading to. Which became rather difficult for the old wooden floor gave away way too much noise and there were planks and stones everywhere on the ground. Avoiding them without a sound wasn't as easy as it sounded. And now they faced a dead end and the only stairs leading away from that godforsaken place were the ones leading down directly into the arms of Pembroke.

And he was close. Probably only one floor below them. One sound and he'd find them for sure. Carmen looked around in despair, while Max tried to keep both of them in the secure shadow of the old hallway, looking over his shoulder every once in a while.

There was nothing. Just walls and the railing of the stairs. Not even windows. At least none they could easily reach without revealing themselves.

Carmen sighed silently. This just wasn't true. They hadn't come this far to be killed in an old hovel like that. He certainly didn't leave Roger out there to let Pembroke have such an easy game. There must be some way out of this. Somehow. Somewhere.

His eyes scanned the dark surrounding once more, when Max suddenly pressed him to the wall again with his arm. Carmen's head whirled around but his friend only put his finger to his mouth, gesturing him to be silent. He listened closely to get what Max meant. There were footsteps up the stairs.

"Gosh, no!" Carmen thought and closed his eyes only for a second to think.

Pembroke was frighteningly close and, judged by the footsteps they were hearing, he was heading down the hallway now. It wouldn't take long and he'd find them.

Carmen looked at Max once more. His friend didn't look less desperate, but he still held Carmen closely by his side.

This was hopeless. They weren't armed, whereas Pembroke was. And he wouldn't stop before any of them. Thinking of Max as a traitor was nearly as bad as being his son. Carmen was convinced of that. And he was pretty sure Max knew too.

But then he turned his head to the left, staring into the darkness. And for a second he didn't believe his eyes. The outlines of a huge square appeared here in the shadowy darkness. Was that a door?

He strained his eyes a little more and for a moment thought about screaming of joy. Gasping slightly he noticed it was indeed. He could hardly believe it, but there it was. One last chance to escape.

He whirled around and tipped Max's arm, pointing at it. Much to his relief Max got it immediately and nodded once.

Hastily they tried to reach it without making a sound. They didn't know how close Pembroke really was, but if they didn't get out it would be over. They almost tip-toed closer and closer to that door, when suddenly they froze hearing a metallic clicking sound behind them. A noise that was way too familiar to them by now. Instinctively they flinched.

When the first shot got only just missed them and drew a hole in the wall, Max dared to cast a quick look over his shoulder again.

Pembroke stood only inches away from them at the other end of that corridor, pointing that gun at them again.

Max cast a look over his shoulder but whirled around again quickly.

"Run!" he screamed and hurried after Carmen who didn't think twice and took to his heels. He felt his lungs almost exploding but it didn't matter. They rushed towards that door, while a storm of shots was fired at them. It was more than a miracle they managed to dodge them all the time. But it was only a matter of time until this wouldn't work anymore.

They literally fell through that door and while Carmen was facing one more smaller stairs and climbed it up, Max quickly turned and tried to close that door, which turned out to be nigh impossible since Pembroke obviously wasn't too keen on watching them vanish again. He collided with that door from the other side and pressed his whole weight against it. Max was hardly able to hold it. Still, he tried to push it shut with everything he had.

Carmen turned around in shock. He didn't wait for long. His feet almost carried him on their own back to Max. He jumped to that door too, pushing his body on to it as well. Their combined strength seemed to work though. Pembroke wasn't really able to enter anymore, yet both of them were really at the end of their robe and he old man seemed to have developed some sort of superpower, crashing into that door again and again and again.

"This won't work," Max breathed in Carmen's direction after a while. "We cannot keep that up forever. Sooner or later we won't be able to hold it."

"This is the roof," Carmen answered through clenched teeth and nodding slightly to the top of the stairs. "If we make it there, we can use the fire escapes to get off of this house."

"That'll never work," Max shook his head. "He will start shooting at us again as soon as we leave. And I highly doubt he will miss again."

Carmen looked up at him. Max's eyes met his. They indeed looked devastated. The sweat was running down their faces along with a mixture of dirt and blood. Still, they held their gazes.

"No!" Carmen said after a while and his eyes widened. There was no need for Max to say it out loud. He knew where this was leading to and it was out of question he would ever agree to it.

But Max simply nodded once, looking concerned.

"Yes Carmen," he answered sincerely. "This can't work for both of us."

"I will not leave you," Carmen yelled at him in despair.

"You will have to!" Max replied just as loud.

Another strike at the door made them stumble backwards. But quickly they pressed themselves against it with every little rest of strength they were still able to apply. Max closed his eyes desperately and lowered his head a little, whereas Carmen sank to the ground, stemming his back to the door.

"Do you honestly think I will let you die just like that?" the younger man asked, sounding as though he was close to losing his head. "You'll never be able to hold this alone. And he certainly won't wait for you to step aside."

"It's not about me!" Max replied. "Roger has put it right. It's you he wants."

"I can't stop him alone!"

"Yes, you can!"

Max's head turned at him within only a second. And the look he gave him gave Carmen goosebumps. So desperate. So commanding and so final in a way.

"You know him better than anyone else," Max continued a lot more desperate now. "You can figure out how to stop him. So, do you really think I will let him get you? All of this is only about him and you. I don't count. As well as no one else does. The only priority now is to keep you away from that man!"

"Max please," Carmen whispered and felt his eyes getting wet. "Don't demand this. I...I can't just turn my back on you."

"I will make you if you don't!" Max screamed at him now, even though he knew he was close to tears as well. "Use that fire escape and get yourself outta here. Everyone knows who you are. You will find all the help you'll need. Go and find Roger. Stop that bastard once and for all."

Pembroke crashed into that door again, causing them to bounce away once, but they were quickly back to stemming themselves against it.

"Max...I can't leave you here," Carmen sobbed now.

"I have absolutely nothing left to lose," Max replied desperately. "And I might as well use this little nothing to help a friend then. So, please go. Now!"

"Max...no!"

"GO!"

Carmen stared at him in shock. It felt as though his heart had stopped beating for a second. He didn't want to leave, but more and more he realized he'd have no other choice. And Max would indeed find a way to make him go. Still, he tried to really grasp it right now.

This was it. The separation of two people who'd known each other for years but only noticed a very short time ago that they were closer to one another than they'd ever imagined. The end of a friendship that hadn't even started really. And worst of all Carmen was certain they would never see each other again if he turned his back on Max now. He could tell Max knew too, but the older man chose not to say another word. He simply looked at that door they still were trying to keep shut darkly, which pulsed as though a heart was beating insight of it.

Carmen took a deep breath and while he was still pressing himself to it as well, he got up to his feet.

He felt dizzy and his head hurt as though it was about to explode. He looked around. The fires on the street cast a strange glow in the nightly darkness of the street and the screams of all the people fighting down there were blown up to the roof by the wind that kept getting stronger. Carmen looked around numbly. He saw Max clenching his teeth while he still tried to keep Pembroke on the other side of that door. And he saw that very door opening a bit more with each strike.

So, was this really the only way? Leaving everything he'd grown to love over the past years just to be the one who might be able to do something? To once more be just the one who survived? It wasn't even a certainty he really could.

He noticed Max yelling at him again, but didn't get what he was saying at all.

So, slowly and almost as though someone else acted through him he moved away from the door a few inches. Max followed him with his eyes. Carmen's breath became faster again. This was it. A goodbye.

Max seemed to sense it too and smiled at him through sad eyes. Then, he nodded at him.

And slowly, very slowly, Carmen started to move away from him. His feet were heavy and he was hardly able to really climb those last few stairs. But somehow he managed it. He stopped on top though, turning to Max once more who still was looking at him. For a moment Carmen held his breath. There was no other way. That realization made a huge wave of helplessness crash over him. He needed to leave. Pembroke would never stop hurting his people unless he did something about it.

So he nodded once but then closed his eyes and quickly turned to hurry towards the fire escape.

Max watched him leave. It took him a moment to really realize Carmen was gone and in a way he felt relieved he'd managed to convince him. Because, despite the fact he couldn't say whether they would ever see each other again or not, he knew he had been right. It was Carmen and Carmen alone being able to stop Pembroke. So it was necessary he was a step ahead of the old guy.

Pembroke crashed against the door again and that one moment of not really paying attention did what he had feared all the time. Max was tossed away and was catapulted to the small masonry edging those few stairs. He moaned, but teared open his eyes again quickly. In shock he looked up into the cold eyes of Pembroke who stood above him like a vulture eying his prey. He glanced at him furiously. Max felt that gun on his forehead and clenched his teeth.

"Where is he?" Pembroke asked dangerously.

Max didn't answer. He just held his evil glare. Never would he tell him. And Pembroke realized it that moment too. One move of his thumb was enough to load his weapon once more.

"WHERE IS HE?" he screamed again, pressing it even firmer to his head.

Max on the other hand closed his eyes. There was nothing he could do anymore. Only wait. Wait for the inevitable to happen. Strangely enough he didn't regret anything that very moment. He even felt calmer than ever before. He ignored everything around him. The screams and the wind, even the old guy above him wasn't of such importance anymore. If this was really his end, so be it. At least there was nothing he would have to set right anymore.

And in that short moment the face of Leo popped up in his mind again. Just Leo. The way he had always been. With his shy smile and that stupid blanket in his hands. Max smiled slightly, noticing it. It was true then. Of course it must have been him. He'd always known Leo had been the only really important person to him and even though he took that leap and jumped over his own shadow only to find there were other important people around him as well, still it was Leo he thought of in a moment he was more than certain to be his last. And despite the fact he never believed in something like fate, a small voice insight of him told him he was going to go home once Pembroke pulled the trigger. How very strange, yet there was not a trace of fear left insight of him anymore.

He opened his eyes and looked at Pembroke daringly. 'Do whatever you need to do' his look literally screamed.

"Despicable fag," Pembroke grunted, enraged even more by those eyes.

Pembroke straightened his arm slightly but just as Max wanted to lower his head and let it happen, he heard Pembroke cry out in pain.

Max jerked his head. Pembroke had been hit by something heavy on the very arm with which he held that gun. He was starting to bleed and that weapon pointed directionless to the ground while he pressed his other hand on the wound. By taking a closer look Max realized it had been the end of an old rusty metal rod that had hit him and had drilled into his flesh.

The old man seemed to notice it that very moment too and lifted his head in a hurry staring furiously in the other direction, trying to make out where it had come from. But just as he turned his body somewhat he got knocked over and lost his balance, landing on the floor harshly.

Max teared open his eyes in surprise when he stared into Carmen's face. The young man just glanced back at him; breathlessly and as though he couldn't believe himself what had just happened.

"Why the fuck did you come back?" Max shouted at him desperately as he realized it. "You are so stupid! So unbelievably stupid!"

"Forgive me! I just couldn't go!"Carmen answered with tears in his eyes.

Max knew a slight smile appeared in the corner of his mouth although he felt more like crying out loud. Something he didn't intend, but still all the surprise was gone that second and the releasing wave of relief came upon him.

"Thank you," he mouthed even though his voice just wouldn't make another sound.

Carmen had returned for him. How very peculiar this felt. Touching and warm somehow. And now the young man smiled shyly back at him although tears were still glistening in his eyes. Was this how it felt to have a family?

A rumbling thunder echoed through the sky and only seconds later the wind increased and carried along a waterfall of pattering rain which devoured them where they were.

But then; with the reflexes of a cat and without another warning; Carmen reached for him and pulled him up to his feet. Max was so taken aback he didn't really realize what just happened.

Carmen however pulled him up the stairs and while still holding his wrist, forced him to follow his steps. And he was fast. He was heading for the farthest corner of the roof; towards the old rotten-looking ends of the metal stairway that had bound to be somewhere up there.

But somehow the way appeared to be endlessly long. Were rooftops that large? No, usually not. They just kept running though and tried not to forget to breathe. Only a few more inches that's what they kept telling themselves, even though none of them said a word.

But they shouldn't arrive there...

Another shot was fired. Carmen heard it behind them, but only thought about reaching that stairway. Pembroke must have gotten to his feet again and now fired around, probably hoping to get them anyway. Carmen only really realized it when Max let out a cry next to him and stumbled out of their mad attempt to escape. He fell down to the ground again.

"No!" Carmen was by his side in no time, kneeling next to his friend, who withered next to him, holding his arm. "God, Max! Are you alright?"

"Yeah," Max answered breathlessly, taking a quick look at his upper arm. The cloth of his suit hung down in shreds and quickly his blood dyed them dark-red. A large deep scratch was clearly visible on his skin and obviously it was the wound that caused the bleeding.

"Shit!" Carmen said, pressing his hand on the wound.

"It looks worse than it is," Max answered quickly, clenching his teeth and observed it himself. "It merely touched me."

Still his arm hurt as hell. He quickly removed Carmen's hand with his own and a little awkwardly tried to get up but lost his balance again. And once more the younger man wanted to rush by his side immediately, but this time he didn't get there as planned.

Another shot hit the ground right between the two of them and caused them to freeze where they were. Their heads shot up.

Pembroke stood only a few inches away from them and still held his gun up in the air. Blood was slowly dripping down his own hand as it ran down his entire arm. His eyes remained on Carmen though, whose face turned white. He didn't move and he didn't look away. For a moment there Max was under the impression he wasn't even breathing anymore.

None of them, neither Pembroke nor Carmen, moved. Max remained on the ground and only dared to look from one to another. The tension was increasing every second. They could feel it everywhere around them. Arguing wouldn't be helpful, even though the possibility crossed Max's mind shortly. Pembroke's madness had reached a point where all words were in vain. But also, he noticed quickly that he was out of this right now. Carmen's gaze was frozen on Pembroke's shape whereas the old man fixated his son just as though there was nothing around them at all. His face was filled with pure loathing and disgust. Never before had Max seen a huge mass of aversion like that before; least of all coming from a father towards his child. Just as though these two were strangers to one another.

And then finally Pembroke stepped a little closer slowly. Carmen immediately raised his hands a little higher and straightened up. He suddenly gave the impression of a young boy. A young boy being scared as hell of his father's reaction. It was quite strange to witness; almost as though he'd forgotten he was an adult and independent for almost two decades now.

Pembroke started to laugh loudly.

"And what now?" he asked teasingly, never leaving Carmen out of sight. "Do you want to continue this ridiculous game of cat and mouse? How long will you continue to run until you face the fact you've lost?"

Carmen didn't answer, but lowered his hands. His face darkened .

"You can't go anywhere anymore. So let's finish what we've begun fifteen years ago," Pembroke started anew with a mad grin spread all over his face.

"Don't worry. I won't go anywhere!" Carmen answered surprisingly calm. "I've told you before it's not me who had lost, but you!"

"You have no one by your side! Not a soul!" Pembroke almost screamed now, apparently very amused by the audacity of the young man and completely ignoring Max on the ground. He was no adversary in his current state anyway. "And you are not able to hide here. So I wouldn't be that fast forward if I were you!"

Carmen smirked and closed his eyes. Pembroke noticed it immediately and seemed to be a bit taken aback all of a sudden. He just didn't know what to think of it.

"What's so funny?" he asked.

"You are!" Carmen answered surprisingly positive. He opened his eyes once more and suddenly looked like someone else. Still Carmen, but something about him had changed. There was a determination in him suddenly and, yes Max would have to call it fire, which hadn't been there before.

It took Max a moment to really get why. But then the scales fell from him eyes. Right here and now, this wasn't Carmen anymore. It was Scott! Ready to repay Pembroke for everything he'd ever done to him.

Max's eyes widened seeing it. What a strange situation. It was as though a perfect stranger stood there next to him. An awfully familiar perfect stranger.

"If you really wanted to kill me you would've done it by now," Carmen spoke daringly and started to move aside, perfectly aware that Pembroke followed his every move. "All this trying to talk something into me was and had always been just a means to disguise your own helplessness! And it shows me I am right. This is not about me. It's about you!"

"How dare you?" Pembroke replied, but it was easy to make out he was outraged.

Carmen moved a little further away from Max until Pembroke almost had his back turned on him. It was then Max understood. This wasn't about confusing the old guy, though it probably was a nice little side effect right now. He was trying to entice Pembroke away from him being on the ground. Carmen wanted to avoid he used him as his last resort once more.

"Well, it's true!" Carmen yelled at the old man. "And I can't really blame you! You've had it all. Everything a person could ever achieve in a lifetime. You're rich and able to do anything. Even buy people. You have the power to destroy lives. But the one thing you've never achieved was your own son to be what you've imagined. It must be devastating!"

"Shut up!" Pembroke screamed and fired a shot that hit the ground right next to Carmen, who froze again immediately. But he didn't let any sign of fear show. "Don't ever dare to say that again!"

"Ah, the weak spot I see!" Carmen grinned, seeing the fury in the petrified face of his father. "I guess deep down and despite all your power you've never overcome the shame you felt finding out I became who I am. And loneliness can drive people to crazy things. Especially with the family you knew gone! No one to exploit your power to anymore. How frustrating that must be for someone like you."

"I said shut up!" Pembroke replied. His face turned red again and his hands started to shiver. "It was you! You all along! You've ruined everything! I tried to warn you a hundred times! I've shown you how dangerous the company of these sickos was. I tried to help you. But no, you had to go and infect yourself around these perverts!"

"When will you finally get this into your head?" Carmen yelled back at him. "It's no disease! I am not different from you! And I've tried to make you see. I am not sick, Dad!"

Pembroke teared his eyes open, being addressed like that. He gasped and clenched his teeth in shock. He hadn't heard the young man using this familiar term on him in ages. And strangely enough it caused a dizziness insight his head he'd never felt before. It brought back too much. Too many scenes from the past; too many memories.

"Open your eyes," Carmen said now a little calmer. Even his face softened as he felt his words finally seemed to have an effect on his father. "You never tried to help me. You only wanted to form me the way you needed it. To use me. And what stroke you most was the fact you knew perfectly well you couldn't change me."

"You never tried to change anything yourself," Pembroke answered. "Because you only wanted to be against me! What was your problem, Scott? Why did you want to ruin me?"

"Face it! I am gay, Dad!" Carmen yelled again. "I told you because I thought maybe there was a chance you'd understand. That maybe for once you'd be there for me! But instead you've killed Daniel. And Clara..and ambushed everyone around me. You've had Roger locked away and you've been following me for years even though you've killed me in the eyes of everyone who ever knew about our connection. Did all that change anything, father?"

"Don't call me that! I never should have agreed to that deal," Pembroke whispered dangerously and his face darkened even more. "I should have killed you that night too. It would have been too easy. You couldn't even think straight anymore!"

"Thanks to you!" Carmen straightened up. "But you did agree. And you know why? Because deep within you couldn't bear to kill your own son! As well as you can't do it now!"

Pembroke kept staring at him but slowly, very slowly, he lowered his arm. And somehow his whole expression changed. He looked beaten. Max was surprised. It was almost as though a little regret mixed with the memories Carmen's words brought back into his mind. A face that was new on the old man.

Carmen on the other hand noticed it in a heartbeat. Daringly he stepped closer to his father, but never lowered his gaze.

"Do you even realize how lucky you are?" he asked carefully. Pembroke lifted his head. "The world is yours. And people could love you. Just think of everything you'd be able to do."

He could almost touch him. Pembroke just stared back at him with wide eyes. He even backed away a few steps. How funny was this. Carmen reversed roles within the blink of an eye and Pembroke wasn't at all prepared for that. He looked intimidated himself for once. But he still let him come closer.

"It's not how it must be," Carmen said softly. "I changed. A lot. I opened my eyes to people I was condemning for years. And noticed I was wrong. And I know you can too."

Pembroke didn't reply anything. He looked down to his feet as Carmen got still a little closer.

"So, believe it or not," he continued. "You cannot undo the fact I am here. Just listen to the people down there," he pointed to the edge of the rooftop. "They won't forget. They stood against you without me. And they will again. You can't make them forget about me. And that truth will haunt you forever, I promise you!"

Pembroke closed his eyes and, for a slight second, Max swore he saw the old man shaking his head.

"But I am still here," Carmen said, now standing only a breath away. "And I am still you son, even if you deny it!"

Pembroke didn't move. His arms hung loosely by his side and finally he let go of that gun. With a dull clang it fell to the ground and Carmen reacted quickly and kicked it away from them. And then his face changed once more, even though his eyes still pierced his father. It was an almost sympathetic look he gave him; much softer than before.

"That's what you wanted!" Max thought, watching it from a good distance. This had been a show. Something Carmen had pulled off to get him out of the firing line. And Scott was gone. No one would believe he had been there only seconds ago. This was Carmen again. Max could hardly believe his own eyes.

But then his eyes rested on Pembroke again. The old guy still had his eyes closed, facing the ground. And something was different about him too. Carmen didn't seem to notice.

Max did though. Was that a grin the mouth of that devil formed? He slowly and almost unseen lifted his head and glared at his son wickedly. And that one moment of kicking the gun away; of not paying attention; was enough.

"CARMEN!" Max screamed in panic; his eyes wider than before.

But the younger man was too slow. He turned around half to face Max when Pembroke rushed forward and grabbed his son. His fingers entangled the throat of the young man and he shifted his whole weight upon him to make sure he wasn't able to move. That mad grin was still there. As well as his burning eyes. And he started to laugh loudly when he tightened his grip around Carmen, who unsuccessfully struggled to get free again.

"YOU FOOL!" Pembroke yelled. "HOW VERY CREDULOUS OF YOU TO BELIEVE YOU COULD CHANGE ANYTHING! I WON'T BE BEATEN! NOT BY SOME SICK ABHORRENT PERVERT LIKE YOURSELF!"

"LET GO OF ME!" Carmen yelled, wincing and desperately trying to get Pembroke off of him while his face turned redder every minute.

"I'LL MAKE YOU UNDERSTAND ONCE AND FOR ALL!" Pembroke screeched. "SO YOU FINALLY GET THAT STRAIGHT. THE ONLY THING IN YOUR MISERABLE LIFE FOR A CHANGE! I HAVE NO SON! NOT ANYMORE! MY SON VANISHED ONE DAY WITHOUT A TRACE AND ALL I WAS TRYING FROM THAT DAY ON WAS TO GET RID OF THE PLAGUE THAT WAS LED BY YOU!"

Carmen's resistance became weaker as his strength left him more and more and he stumbled backwards as good as possible; right to the edge of that roof. But all he could manage to do anymore was shaking his head madly. His eyes were closed and he looked even more desperate , noticing he wouldn't get rid of him. He held his breath.

"SO KILLING YOU WILL MAKE EVERYTHING ALRIGHT AGAIN!" Pembroke yelled still. "DON'T MAKE UP SOME LIE ABOUT BEING OF THE SAME BLOOD! I AM NOT LIKE YOU! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO KILLED SCOTT! AND I WILL MAKE YOU PAY FOR THAT!"

It all went so fast, Max was hardly able to follow everything at once. Pembroke's yells continued. As did Carmen's struggle. He got up as quickly as it was possible for him and rushed towards the two of them.

Carmen bent his back and tried to shake him off. They were frighteningly close to that abyss now. But Pembroke would stick on him, even though it looked like he was losing his grip slowly. But only a mere inch away from a more than certain fall down to the burning street, he hammered his feet into the ground again in order to prevent his son from discarding him.

Carmen coughed. He desperately lowered his head and pressed it against his hands, which were clasping his father's. If at all this was his only chance to breathe at all.

"Carmen! Down!"

He recognized Max's voice and didn't waste any time thinking about what he'd just said. Quickly and despite the fact his father still kept holding him Carmen ducked away, feeling as though he was caught in a snare. His head felt numb and the pain in his throat made him almost forget he was supposed to keep on trying to breathe.

Max had grabbed a piece of wood lying nearby and now threw it at Pembroke.

A jerk on his body told Carmen he must have hit him and suddenly Pembroke's hands let go of him. Finally. He felt the air around him flowing into his body again, followed by a releasing cough. He took deep breaths, not really believing the old man had let go.

Pembroke stumbled backwards. The wood hat hit his wounded arm. He didn't look where he was stepping, but held his arm and muttered indefinable curses.

Max watched him and suddenly gasped. For a change it was Pembroke who didn't pay attention. And in that one fatal moment he took that one wrong step.

He slipped and stepped into the depth of the abyss. Quickly he tried to get his balance back, swaying almost in midair with his arms waving about. But it was plain to see he wouldn't manage to get back to the ground and slowly his whole body bed backwards. His eyes were teared wide open for he noticed it as well. But then his arm reached out and just before he fell, he grabbed Carmen's collar and pulled him with him. As in slow-motion Max watched both of them fall.

~To be continued~


	20. The new beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Well, this is it then! I've uploaded the last three chapters all at once as you might have noticed. Basically because a) I thought I've dawdled around long enough with them and b) because I wrote them down as one chapter actually, but it had grown way too long, so I parted it. Lucky for me I really achieved twenty chapters with this story (something I'd planned in the first place anyway)
> 
> So as usual, I am a bit sad about this story being over now. I've counted back a little yesterday and noticed "Wow, I've really been working over a year on that one story". So it feels a little like letting a child go actually ^^
> 
> I want to say "Thank You" to each and everyone of you who read this or still reads it, for the many many nice reviews you gave me and the kind words. I hope you'll enjoy this (and maybe tell me so ;-) ) and I hope you'll keep reading my stories.
> 
> Thank you!

"NO!"

As fast as his feet carried him he ran towards then and stretched out his arm.

Carmen noticed that jerk on his body but before he could even realized what was happening. He gasped, but it was too late. The ground was drenched from the rain and way too slippery for him to stem himself against it. He was dragged along as Pembroke fell.

It went so fast. He saw the street below them and closed his eyes in horror, awaiting the impact. So, Pembroke's won after all. Everything indicated it. But at least he'd tried everything that had been in his power. And then he thought about Roger. Had Pembroke killed him too? He didn't know. And there was no way he could find out now. But if not he had managed that one thing he'd been trying for years. If Roger was still there, he was safe and sound now. That was a certainty.

And for a moment it brought a sentimental feeling to him. Deep within. He had much bigger problems for sure, but no one ever told what really ran through one's mind in something people would call a last moment. How much would he have loved to see Roger once more. There was so much he still needed to tell him...

But then another jerk ran through his body and somehow the feeling of falling stopped as quickly as it had come. Carmen felt his body striking the house wall. It hurt a little, but then it seemed he'd stopped moving at all. Someone held his hand. He felt it.

Slowly he opened his eyes again and immediately felt a little dizzy looking down. His feet were floating in midair and much to his horror Pembroke still held onto his foot. So, that's why he still felt so heavy. On the other side his arm felt as though something was about to rip it off his body. He tried to look up but even lifting his head appeared to be much more difficult than it was with both feet safely on the ground. And when he finally managed it his eyes widened although the pain was scarcely bearable. And the rain was running down his face and blurring his sight even more.

On the other side of the ledge was Max; half leaned over it and clenching his teeth. He was holding on to Carmen's arm with one hand, preventing him from falling down the roof.

But slowly the younger man's hand slipped through his finger and was bound to glide away from him soon. Quickly he reached for him with his injured arm as well, grabbing his hand. It must hurt him a great deal as Carmen could easily see in his face which was contorted in pain. The blood from his arm was slowly dripping onto Carmen's hand.

"Max," Carmen moaned. "Your arm..."

But then Pembroke seemed to see his chance as well. He stemmed his feet to the wall and reached for Carmen's other feet with his other arm. He tried to pull himself up his son, not caring at all he began to sway both of them. An unfortunate state which made it even harder for Max to hold two people at once. Max squinted his eyes and groaned.

Carmen looked down to the old man. He tried to shake his hands off of him without moving too much, but it was useless. He couldn't really do anything. Not without endangering Max up there too and not at least himself, who was close to falling as well. And then there was Pembroke, who looked so desperate as well somehow. He was slipping off each time he tried to climb a little further. He was moaning from time to time, always looking down again. It was fear that was written in the face of the old guy. Carmen couldn't recall ever having seen him like that.

It was like a bad dream. He hung there motionless. Helplessly he was doomed to watch his father's death-struggle and his friend's desperate attempt to hold the two of them. He should get rid of that old man. It would be the easiest way. And what was the big deal? He was a stranger to Carmen. He'd been all his life. The only connection there had always been was the name both of them carried coincidentally. One kick and it would be over.

But somehow, Carmen couldn't do it. He closed his eyes once more, trying to ignore the pain and the noise and this little voice in his head telling him to just do it. There was no way he could. He kept telling it himself over and over again. He never wanted any more blood on his hands. And wouldn't an act like that put him on the same level as Pembroke? He didn't want to be like him. He'd never been. But what was the alternative?

He knew.

But doing it would mean living with it too...

"God damn it!" Carmen yelled, before opening his eyes again.

Quickly he bent down a little and stretched out his arm in his father's direction. Pembroke gave him a surprised look.

"Hold on!" Carmen screamed at him.

But the old man only clenched his teeth and struck back his hand.

"Do you want to die?" Carmen yelled again and his eyes were piercing his father's. "Don't be crazy! Grab it!"

"Never!" Pembroke replied determinedly.

"Dad, please!" Carmen begged. "You'll die! Let me help you!"

"I don't need help from a fag!" Pembroke screamed back at him furiously. "Not now! Not ever!"

And slowly his hands slipped again. He looked down once more in panic. He was only holding on to him with his fingers anymore. Carmen could see his hands shaking.

"No, Dad!" he screamed, but it was too late.

Within only a second Pembroke's hands let go of him. He let out a short cry and fell. His voice echoed through the night and seemed to be louder than anything else that moment.

Carmen's head whirled around and he closed his eyes as tightly as possible and clenched his teeth, trying hard not to listen. And he didn't want to see it. He couldn't.

The street became silent. Or at least it seemed like that. Carmen wasn't able to hear any more screams. It was as though the people down there gasped all at once.

And much to his surprise he noticed his own sobbing and his tears falling down his face. Did he cry? Why? He'd never cared for that man. He'd never had known something like paternal care coming from this devil. But still his tears kept on coming. Without him intending to.

"Carmen!"

Slowly he lifted his head again looking into Max's face, who still tried to hold him. And he noticed how his arm slipped out of his grip as well. Slowly, but steady.

Max struggled not to let go. His arms shivered and his hands were soaked in blood by now.

He couldn't do it. It was plain to see. And funny enough, Carmen didn't feel scared anymore all of a sudden.

"Max?" he spoke calmly and smiled at him through swollen eyes. "Let go!"

"What?" Shock sprang into his face. "Are you nuts?"

"You cannot hold me," Carmen continued. "It's okay. Let go!"

"Stop that!" Max screamed at him breathlessly. "I will not! You'll be up here with me again and everything will be fine. But you need to help."

But Carmen shook his head, still smiling.

"I have nothing to lose," he said softly. "And I can't face them down there. Not without Roger. So please... "

"Even IF...," Max answered loudly. "You still got me! And I'm not gonna let you give up now! Not after all that happened!"

His arm slipped a little more.

"Carmen, please!" Max yelled in despair.

Carmen lowered his head. This was useless. Even if he'd found the strength to try, there was no way he could get up there again. Not without a miracle. And what he'd said was true. How could he face a world in which he'd lied to the person he loved? In which his kind were threatened and hated? And in which he was responsible for the death of three people and the misery of so many more while no one would understand? It was so pointless. All of it.

But then suddenly, he heard a voice coming from below him.

"CARMEN!"

It echoed through the night. Carmen opened his eyes a little and gazed down.

He gasped and his eyes grew bigger. Down there, way down, stood Roger and looked up to him. He could barely make out his face but his body was strained and his voice carried the most worried tone ever.

Carmen didn't believe it. So he had survived?

And once more tears were welling in his eyes and he couldn't help but smile slightly. He never thought he'd see him again. But there he was. Alive. Breathing. And safe.

"Roger," he whispered more to himself. The pure sound of his name was unbelievable to Carmen that moment.

And suddenly a strange wave of courage ran through him again. It hadn't been in vain then. All he wanted was to keep these people...his family...away from the wrath Pembroke had been burdening him with. And with Max standing there above him and Roger down there... It was the proof he seemed to have needed.

So Carmen lifted his head again.

And with the last strength he was able to accomplish he grabbed Max's arm and held it firmly. His friend looked at him; surprised at first but then a thankful smile appeared on his face and he nodded once.

Carmen lifted his other arm which felt heavier than before. His body ached. But he tried his very best to ignore it and as soon as he reached Max he held on to him as good as possible.

Then he reached out for the wall and tried to steady himself by stemming his feet against it just like Pembroke had done it.

Max pulled with all his might and carefully; always one step after the other; Carmen wandered a little more up that wall. Always a little closer to the safety of that rooftop and closer to Max.

It seemed to take forever but finally he reached that ledge and clasped it with both his arms. His feet left the wall.

Max reached for his back and at last pulled him back onto the roof of that building.

The feeling of the stone underneath his feet was indescribable. Both of them sank to their knees, exhausted and breathless. Carmen steadied his aching body with his hands and his head sank. He sighed deeply but shortly after that turned to face Max, who smiled at him.

"Don't ever scare me like that again," he breathed.

Carmen jeered. "Sorry."

"Come on!" Max said and got up, holding his injured arm. "We should try to get down. I've had my share of rooftops for a lifetime."

Carmen grinned at him and nodded. He got up as well and slowly they made their way to the fire escape they were heading to in the first place. Since the door was still barricaded, it was their only way down anyway.

They climbed it down and it took them quite a while, for both of them were exhausted and at the end of their robes. Max was injured which was even more difficult. But Carmen tried to help him down as good as possible. When their feet finally touched the ground again both of them fell backwards against the wall and took a deep breath.

"Carmen!"

Carmen looked up hastily again. He knew that voice.

It was him. Roger ran towards him without paying attention to anything around him. Carmen smiled and got up from that wall. Without hesitation the taller man flung his arms around him and Carmen felt his body stiffen for a second. It was so surreal yet so true in a way. Carefully he placed his arms around his partner and leaned his head to his shoulder, inhaling deeply. He closed his eyes and as much as he tried he couldn't stop those tears from coming again. How could he even think about having nothing left when he was lying here in the arms of the person he loved?

His grip tightened.

He didn't make a sound just held his eyes shut and felt his tears running down his face. He thought he'd never get to do this again. And only being able to now was the best feeling in the world to him.

"I am so glad nothing happened to you," he heard Roger's voice silently and opened his eyes a little.

"I am so sorry," Carmen's words sounded muffled as his face was pressed firmly against the older man. "I should have told you before..."

"Hey," Roger pushed him away a little to look into his eyes. He touched his face gently and wiped away the tears on Carmen's cheeks with his thumb. He smiled though. "For the first time in fifteen years I understand why you've always avoided every question about your past. And I didn't care for years. Do you honestly think I am now?"

Carmen held his breath for a second and then sobbed even more.

"Don't cry," Roger said hugging him tightly again. "It's over. Nothing else matters!"

"I love you," Carmen whispered.

"Love you too," Roger said.

It was then Max approached them slowly. He smiled. It was so good to see them like this. It was exactly how it should be. How it had always been. And somehow it made him feel a little better about everything which was still hard to grasp.

….

But someone else was watching them too from a distance.

Leo leaned to Diane who was holding him so he wouldn't collapse again. They'd been following Roger after they'd witnessed Carmen hanging there from that rooftop. And since the taller man had been worried to death they'd let him run ahead. He shouldn't have to stay with them. They'd told him to go. They had been certain to catch up.

But now they'd stopped a good distance away from them, watching their friends silently.

"He seems to be alright," Diane said quietly and smiled.

"Yeah," Leo replied almost not audible.

He just stared ahead and couldn't take his eyes away from them. A kind of sentimental feeling arose insight of him and even if he wanted to he wasn't able to describe what it was he was feeling right now. He saw them there. Roger and Carmen. They way they held each other. Their looks. And even though he wasn't able to hear what they were saying he could tell there was not one hint of blame between them.

Was this how it worked? Accepting mistakes and continue to just love each other? Maybe it was. It worked for Roger and Carmen after all. And maybe it was exactly what made them the couple he had been looking up to all those years. But then again, wasn't it just closing the eyes to everything that went wrong instead of trying to fix it together? Probably not. Because somehow Roger and Carmen made it.

He turned his aching head a little and spotted Max. He was there. Next to them. He looked shattered and held his arm. And suddenly Leo felt his heart sink again.

"You know you could show yourself and try to talk to him now," he heard Diane say.

He turned and looked at her a little surprised. She smiled at him through sad eyes, probably having noticed his stare and since she'd always been pretty good at reading his mind she knew what was going on insight of him. He kept looking at her, but somehow stared right through her. Then he turned his head away again.

"I can't," he answered hoarsely, trying to act tough. But his gaze wandered over to Max again. And suddenly he felt like crying again. He couldn't even define anymore what his problem was. His defense fell and he knew it. And he knew Diane knew.

"Leo?" She said softly and only a second later he felt her hand on his cheek.

He closed his eyes.

"I think you should," she continued and smiled warmly. "If only to help yourself letting go. If that's really what you want."

"Why should I do that?" he asked and looked at her once more.

Her eyes were baffled for a second seeing tears in his eyes but quickly changed into a softer smile again.

"Because...," she started and carefully let go of him and stepped away a little when she was sure he could stand. "Because you love him."

She stroked over his head once more while Leo wasn't moving at all. Then she bend forward and hugged him gently.

"And you know it," she whispered before smiling at him again. "Go there! You know it wasn't how he painted it. You've known for a while now. I think it's time to forget what hurts you and open your eyes to the things that matter. And if Carmen and Roger do... Then Max does twice as much."

"Diane...I..."

But she quickly shook her head. "You have nothing to lose but the doubts. Go on!"

Leo closed his eyes once and let his head fall. But he smiled. She was right. Of course she was. And listening to that little voice insight that now literally screamed the truth at him he knew it was the only thing he could do. The only thing he must do right now.

So he opened his eyes again and smiled at her, nodding once. Then he turned and very slowly stumbled towards his friends, ignoring the pain and the dizziness that crawled up his body again immediately.

….

Roger and Carmen turned to Max. He smiled at them. And they smiled back. No, not smiled. Roger looked at him with the greatest gratitude ever, which made him feel a little uneasy suddenly. Looking at the taller man he'd had his share of trouble as well. His face was dirty and blood stained. Pembroke certainly hadn't been hesitant with him either.

Still he spread out his arms wide and before Max could say anything, Roger hugged him too. Max wanted to say something, but words weren't necessary that very moment. He just patted his back once while his injured arm hung loosely down his body. A smile spread over his face and when Roger let go of him, they just looked at each other for a moment. The taller man nodded thankfully. And for a moment Max could kick himself for never having noticed before how good it felt to have friends like them. In a way he owed them so much. And he could tell Roger meant to say exactly the same thing.

But then he simply stepped aside and Max found himself once more looking into the eyes of Carmen.

The slender man wore a mixture of overwhelming gratitude and sentimentality, yet looked unbelievably exhausted as well. Max stepped a little closer. And without thinking about it he pulled him into a bear hug as well. Carmen didn't hesitate though, but flung his arms around him too.

"Thank you;" he whispered so only Max was able to hear it.

"No," Max replied. "There is absolutely nothing you need to thank me for."

Carmen smiled.

"So, what now?" Max asked and let go of the slender man. "With Pembroke gone, what's the next thing you're gonna do?"

Carmen smiled and shook his head slightly.

"I guess it's time for a new start then," he answered quietly. "For both of us."

Max nodded. "You're probably right."

Suddenly it made him feel curiously sad again. Carmen was right for sure, but he could easily continue living the way he wanted. With Roger by is side and everything that had grown familiar to him. But Max had to face that lonely office again and he didn't exactly embrace the idea of it. In fact it was unbearable to imagine a life alone once more and he knew it would probably never return to the way it had been before all of that. And as hard as he tried he couldn't undo the fact he himself brought a big part of it upon himself. But he couldn't change it. He had to go on, which was gonna be hard but probably for the best. He just had to forget there ever had been a 'we' for that matter.

Carmen seemed to sense it. He stared somewhere in the distance, but then smiled and approached him, gently putting his hands on his shoulder.

"It's alright," Max smiled back at him, mistaking his gesture. "I'm sorry. I'll just have to get used to it. That's all!"

"I didn't mean to say that," Carmen's smile grew wider. "Remember I told you there was something you needed to know?"

"Yeah," Max answered sincerely.

Carmen's eyes wandered over his shoulder again but returned to Max quickly, carrying an even more sentimental expression while he grinned widely. Whatever he'd seen right now it seemed to cheer him up a lot.

"Do me a favor," Carmen said softly. "Turn around..."

Max gave him a look of pure confusion, but then did as he was told.

It was as though the world was crashing down on him though. He stood there thunderstruck. His eyes grew bigger every second and his jaw slowly dropped. And he swore his heart skipped a beat that very second.

Leo looked back at him with a blank face, but his eyes were sadder than ever before. He stood only a short distance away from him. His face looked pale and his head was bleeding. The rain was pelting down on him too and the gray coat he was wearing was soaking. He didn't look away though but kept piercing Max with those heart-breaking eyes.

This couldn't be true. He must be dreaming. Or perhaps he'd died on that rooftop. It couldn't possibly be. But even though he was going through every possible reason not to be awake right now, it was Leo standing there before him. But how? How could he be alive after all?

He couldn't say a word. He wasn't even sure if he was able to breathe anymore. Or if his heart was still beating. There was nobody else right now. None of them. All he saw were those brown eyes looking at him. The way they'd always been. And the realization of seeing them, with the certainty never to look at them ever again was just overwhelming. He felt his hands starting to shiver.

And then Leo stepped a little closer. He was injured obviously. It was more stumbling than walking. He tried hard not to let it show though and straightened his body the closer he got, never leaving Max out of sight.

Max's world collapsed that moment. He felt heavier than ever before and, while still simply staring at the young man with wide eyes, he felt his feet giving in. Slowly he sank to his knees; his head lifted and his eyes fixated on him. Not believing it his gaze froze at Leo, whose face suddenly changed to a more pitying look.

"You know I couldn't understand," he started quietly, very well aware of the fact Max wasn't able to grasp he was there. "And I hated you for everything you've done. Believe me. It's not exactly like I ever wanted to see you again. I was determined to forget. Everything. And I tried to tell myself over and over again it's better to pretend I'd never met you..."

Max just stared back at him. He still didn't believe it was Leo. Talking to him. Just as though he'd never been gone. Had his eyes been fooling him then? How did he manage to get away? He had been unconscious. And half dead anyway.

But then Leo smiled slightly and his eyes became a lot softer. Carefully he squatted in front of Max and that seriousness in his face and in his voice was gone.

"But then," he continued a lot softer and even quieter than before, until his voice was only a mere whisper. "I heard what you said on that place to Pembroke. And all of a sudden everything had made sense. And I wanted to kick myself not having been able to see through it in the first place."

Max still didn't answer. But he felt his face getting hotter and somehow his whole body felt as though a huge burden was taken away from him. His eyes filled with tears and without really being able to do anything they started to run down his face uncontrollably. He closed his eyes and lowered his head, sobbing. This was too much. It was true then. Leo had survived and it felt like a miracle. And he was talking to him again. There had been so many things he had been needing to tell him. So much he'd wanted to say but right here and now he was tongue-tied. He swallowed hard, but that overwhelming pain insight just wouldn't vanish. He wanted to cry out loud; scream at the top of his voice but his voice just wouldn't listen.

And then he felt the touch of two hands on his face, which gently lifted up his head again. Opening his hurting eyes once more, he had to face the young man once more. And in a way he just couldn't recall ever having felt more joyful yet at the same time he wanted to turn and run.

Leo on the other hand smiled at him lovingly.

"It was then I really noticed what I've been trying to ignore," he whispered. "And how on earth was I supposed to eliminate the past ten years just like that? When there was only you in whatever I tried to recall. And I noticed I was who I was only because I met you. There was absolutely no way I could throw away all that time then. How could I when everything I thought, spoke, breathed or did was you? I noticed there was no 'me' anymore, but only 'us'. So, tell me how could I let the only time I've had in life to say I truly loved someone pass me by? Just like that? I... I just couldn't do it. And just to be here right now... with you listening...Believe me...I am unbelievably happy to get the chance to tell you. Even though I don't know if that's alright with you. Or if you wanted to see me after all."

Max didn't think twice. He rushed forwards and embraced the young man, holding him firmly. He pressed his cheek to Leo's head and knew perfectly well he was crying frantically. But he didn't mind. Leo replied that hug and almost drilled his hands into the back of his partner. He closed his eyes. He surely hadn't expected a reaction like that and was overwhelmed by his own emotions arising insight of him. They made him feel humble and incredibly stupid all of a sudden and right now he couldn't hold back either. Crying himself, he buried his face deeply into Max's chest.

"Max...," he whispered.

"I am so sorry," he heard the older man whisper into his ear before he was even able to say anything else. His voice sounded rough and tremulous. It was the first time he even managed to find something like a voice at all. "Can you ever forgive me?"

Leo hesitated. A shiver went down his spine thinking about how to reply. But there was only one thing that came into his mind and it increased his tears even more. Diane had been right. As had Carmen and Clara.

"I love you," he whispered through tears.

Max swallowed hard and took a deep breath. He slowly let go of Leo and just stared into his eyes once more. And after what seemed like an eternity he lifted his hand and gently stroked over his tortured face, not believing he was able to do that.

"Let me take you home," he replied.

….

The weeks passed quickly and soon none of them thought about that horrible night that often anymore.

Leo recovered quickly. Occasionally he tried to sneak around that office-desk to take a quick look at the accounting books which always laid there all the time. He knew perfectly well Max was against it. He kept telling him to fully recover first before even thinking about working at all again. But the younger man had to find out. Something had happened. Max hadn't been in theater all that time as well. And even though Diane was visiting almost every day to check on him, she never let one word slip about how the production was doing. He was quite certain it had stopped. They couldn't fool him. But yet, none of them would tell him anything. Probably they didn't want him to worry about it. It just didn't work. The more they acted that secretive the more he got a bad feeling about it.

Maybe the financing Pembroke had offered had stopped. Or everything broke down after his death...

He leaned over one of the books, flying through the written lines when he heard footsteps approaching him. As fast as he could he closed the book again and whirled around, trying to look casual leaning to that desk.

Max stood in the door to the office and raised an eyebrow.

"You were doing it again, weren't you?" he smiled.

"I don't know what you mean," Leo grinned back.

They looked at each other, suppressing a laughter. Max shook his head. And Leo knew perfectly well he knew.

"Are you ready?" Max asked then, stretching out his arm.

Quickly, Leo moved up to him and took it.

"Have been forever," he grinned back at him.

Both of them were dressed in white tuxedos with red flowers in their pockets and red flies. Max still didn't take his eyes away from him and smiled softly.

Leo noticed of course and felt his face blushing.

"What?" he asked and turned his look down.

"Nothing," Max grinned, shaking his head. "I just don't think anyone there can look any better."

"Don't say that," Leo smiled shyly. "After all it's their wedding."

"Unofficially yes," Max replied a little teasingly. "Just imagine society if it was for real."

"For them it is," Leo giggled. "And actually, I don't see any difference. It's as real as we make it."

Max nodded slightly. "You're probably right."

Then Leo snuggled a little closer to him.

"Shall we then?" he asked.

….

And the whole day became indeed much more real than they'd imagine.

Starting with the Upper East Side town house in which the 'unofficial' ceremony took place. They'd been so surprised to find it in a rather inconspicuous decoration. In fact it was quite pretty. They'd expected a huge bunch of colorful flowers everywhere, accentuated with all kind of super gay little goodies and golden statues to bring it to the top. But what they had found was the noble looking marble rooms having been cleaned of every 'over-the-top' little accessory they'd been used to and instead the now huge halls had been filled with hundreds of white bouquets and huge bands of white satin hanging from the ceilings and having been arranged like enormous chandeliers. Also white satin decorated the walls and everywhere around the house an unbelievable amount of candles had been lit while the lights had been dimmed throughout the house. It looked magical, almost as though they had entered a whole other world.

They'd been betting about who was going to show up in a dress. It must be Roger, Max had been sure. Whereas Leo gave it everything he had it would be Carmen. But in fact both of them had been wrong. Much to the surprise of everyone having been there.

Carmen and Roger had appeared both wearing the same black suits, black shirts and white flies. They hadn't been at all very obvious that very moment, despite the fact everyone else had been dressed in white. It had been even hard to tell how flamboyant and exuberant they usually were. Both of them acted in a way no one would ever guess they were in fact the queerest couple walking the city. They even spoke in their normal deep calm voices during the ceremony.

The biggest surprise though had been right after they'd exchanged vows. The front door had opened and someone had entered, telling them excitedly to go to the balcony. Carmen and Roger had exchanged confused looks, but had done what they had been told immediately. As well as everyone else in the house. They'd pressed their faces to the windows and door frames to sneak a peek of whatever awaited them out there.

Roger had frozen staring out there with unbelieving eyes. And when Carmen had followed him and only set one foot on the huge balcony of theirs, an enormous wave of cheers had echoed from down the street and through the entire house. Max and Leo had followed them out there and hardly believed it themselves.

The street had been filled with at least a thousand people, all wearing colorful suits or dresses and when they had caught sight of Carmen all of them had thrown a huge mass of flowers up in the air simultaneously.

"Congratulations," they'd screamed over and over again.

"All the best," others had yelled up to them.

"Here's to you, Scott," another part of them had sung.

Carmen had stood there flabbergasted, but it hadn't taken long and he'd been so touched there'd been tears in his eyes. Roger had put his arm around him that very moment and had given him the proudest smile of his life.

"You deserve it," he had said.

"I don't," Carmen had replied, still looking at the crowd down there. "It's been them all along. I didn't do anything."

"Oh no! You've given them something even more important. And that's the courage and the hope to believe in a better world," Roger had replied. "And they still believe in you. As well as I am."

He had turned his head to his partner then.

"But please," he'd continued and laughed slightly. "Don't ever make me call you by that name. I just can't get used to it!"

Carmen had laughed immediately.

"Don't worry," he'd said. "That's not me. I will never wear it even if my life depends on it."

"So you've decided to live as Carmen then?" Max had asked, standing next to him.

Carmen gave him a soft smile.

"I have never been anybody else," he'd replied.

"So no wearing of Roger's name then?" he'd grinned.

"No," Carmen had shaken his head. "We've agreed on keeping it the way it always had been. With one little exception." He'd held up his hand and waved it slightly, letting the sun shine on the little golden ring he wore now.

And for once Max had noticed one little accessory on him he didn't notice before. A very old looking piece of yellow cloth Carmen had tied around his wrist. He wore it like a bracelet and every now and then that dot of color shone through that noble black appearance they'd chosen.

"What's that?" he'd asked, taking Carmen's hand into his own softly and observing it.

"Clara gave it to me," Carmen had replied and his voice had gotten a sad tone suddenly, which had caused Max to look up again. "When I injured my hand back there... I don't know...I just felt I needed a bit of him here today."

Max had smirked, but chose not to answer. Once more he'd looked down to the crowd on the street. They were right about it.

"Here's to you Scott," he'd been thinking while still smiling.

….

And now, standing between the crowd of guests Leo didn't even wonder why anymore. He sipped a bit of the whine he was holding in his hands and witnessed them on the dance floor. They moved there entwined with each other and he swore he'd never seen two people looking more in love than those two.

He smiled. He was happy for them. They deserved this after all that had happened.

"What are you staring at?"

Leo turned and looked at Max, who was observing him. Leo laughed slightly. And turned his head towards their two friends again. Max followed his gaze and smiled too.

"They look so happy," he said softly. "As though nothing in the world could do anything to them."

"That's what they wanted to achieve after all," Max answered. "And they've gone miles to reach that point."

"Yeah," Leo smiled again. "I am just glad to be here and witness this right now."

"Leo...you..."

But Max wasn't able to finish it.

Some people were starting to yell something and since they obviously had had a lot of glasses already, it was louder than probably expected.

"Come on!" one of them yelled. "Just this once!"

"He's right," another joined him.

"Tossing the bridal bouquet is a tradition!"

"Even if there's no bride," another one grinned.

Carmen and Roger looked at each other once and started to grin.

"Allow me," Roger said mockingly and grabbed one of the bouquets standing around them.

"My pleasure," Carmen replied with a ballet-like move, bowing deeply and for once they were their normal selves again with everything that came with it. The girlish movements and the high-pitched voices.

"Do it together!" the crowd roared.

So both of them put their hands on it and turned their backs to the crowd, still grinning at each other cockily.

Leo and Max moved a little closer, not wanting to miss this. All the guys around the newly weds almost started to beat one another in order to stand first in line. Leo and Max started to laugh slightly. This was exactly how they'd imagined all of this in the first place. More like them.

Roger and Carmen closed their eyes and counted to three before throwing the huge bouquet behind their backs. It only caused the crowd to almost jump on each other. Each and everyone of these guys wanted to catch it.

Leo tried hard to make out where it had landed after all. According to that old tradition the one who caught it was next to tie the knot. So of course, curiosity led all the other guests standing around to step a little closer as well.

Carmen and Roger turned again and for a second looked more than surprised. But then they burst into laughter. Roger even bent forward and held his stomach because he had to laugh so hard while Carmen simply tried to cover his wide grin with his hand and stared straight ahead.

At first Leo didn't get what was so funny, but then all those guys turned and stared in his direction, smiling widely as well. And when he turned to look at Max he immediately noticed why.

Max held that bouquet in his hands and stared at it more than embarrassed.

Leo had to snort. He tried to hide it by clutching his hands over his mouth, but it only caused Max to look at him even more shocked. And only seconds later he turned his head away from the young man and closed his eyes quickly; his face blushed.

"Forget it!" he said and gave it his best shot to sound determined and stubborn.

Yet Leo knew perfectly well he felt touched. Otherwise he'd probably have thrown those flowers away in no time. But no, he kept holding them until Kevin hurried towards him and took them away to place them into a vase again.

Leo still giggled.

"Don't you ever mention this again," Max hissed. "To nobody!"

"Really?" Leo grinned. "Such a touchy subject?"

"I...I just don't want you to get the wrong impression," Max replied and blushed once more.

"Ah, but is it's only touchy if you feel embarrassed about it," Leo said and moved a little closer to him, putting his arms around his neck. "Which tells me you've already been thinking about it."

Max started to grin as well, even though he didn't intend to. He bend forward until their foreheads touched and looked deep into the younger man's eyes.

"Believe whatever you want in that freaky little mind of yours, Leo Bloom," he said and pulled him a little closer and added in a whisper: "But believe it of not. It's more than enough to have you here with me right now."

He lifted his head a little and softly their lips touched. And for once, Leo didn't care at all if anyone saw. He just let it happen and felt like melting away. The longer it lasted the more it felt like time had stopped just for them that very moment.

But then they heard a soft cough next to them and let go of each other, turning their heads.

Diane stood next to them and looked in another direction, her face blushed.

Leo grinned at Max and let go of him. They moved closer to her.

"I swear I'll never get used to seeing you two kiss," she said, looking up to Leo who gave a short laugh.

"Well, better get used to it," he grinned.

"I'll have no other choice I suppose," she grinned back at him.

Then her eyes looked from Leo to Max and back.

"I knew you'd be here though," she said. "It would have surprised me if you didn't show up."

"Nothing in the world could have kept us away," Leo replied amused. "But it's good to have you here now tooo."

He pulled Max a little closer until he stood right next to her, looking baffled.

"Will you two finally tell me now what's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" Max asked a little lost and he and Diane exchanged doubting looks.

"Don't act dumb," Leo said. "I know you haven't been in theater forever. What happened? Did production close?"

Diane and Max looked at each other once and then the older man shook his head slowly, looking down. He seemed caught for once.

"Well, you know... there's been a tiny problem with the financing I haven't been able to solve yet," he mumbled. "But apparently, the money Pembroke contributed got...well, lost somehow."

"What?" Leo's eyes grew bigger.

"I didn't want you to worry!"

"Well, did you think I wouldn't find out?" Leo answered. "You should have told me. What will happen now?"

"Well..."

"Max!" Leo looked at him shocked. "What did you do?"

"I...Well, it's more than likely the police could visit us in the near future," he murmured and looked away rather quickly. He seemed embarrassed not having told him.

"What?" Leo squeaked. "Why did you hide something as important as that from me?

"Ah, well he didn't tell because there's something he also didn't know," Carmen interrupted them having eavesdropped on their conversation and had hurried towards them, stopping Leo from panicking right now. He'd obviously been close to them all the time without them noticing at all and now he stood next to Max patting him on the shoulder slightly and grinning at him cheerfully.

"What do you mean 'I also didn't know'?" Max asked a little confused.

"Oh, you'll find out soon enough," Carmen winked at him. "Believe me. Diane?"

He turned towards her and bowed deeply, ignoring her confused look as well.

"May I?" he asked, stretching out his hand in her direction.

She was a little taken aback, but then took his hand and followed him a little hesitantly.

Leo and Max looked after them, not believing what had just happened.

"What was that about?" Leo asked a little uncertain.

"I have absolutely no idea," Max shook his head in total incomprehension.

He wanted to add something more, when suddenly someone tipped on his shoulder. He whirled around and found a quite conventional looking chubby man in front of him, who looked more out of place than anyone ever could. He wore a gray inconspicuous suit and a normal gray hat and carried a brown leather bag along.

"Mr. Bialystock?" he asked, looking around a little bewildered. He surely wasn't used to be in a house of a gay couple, least of all while a celebration like that was happening. It obviously made him feel a little uneasy.

"Er...yes?" Max asked.

"I am here on behalf of my client...erm...," he opened his bag and pulled out a bunch of papers, handing it to Max.

A little hesitantly, he took them and slowly unfolded them. He started to read it. And got hastier with each sentence. Leo could easily follow his eyes rushing through the lines. And then he quickly looked up from the papers again. His eyes were wide and he looked both shocked and surprised at the same time.

"I don't understand," he stuttered.

"My client, Mr. Pembroke Junior," that lawyer started anew. "Who inherited the business of his father only a few weeks ago... I don't know if you heard of that tragic accident the old man had had. It was a nasty story. And shortly afterwards we received a message that his son was still in the city...Well, anyway... Mr. Pembroke wishes not to continue his family's tradition and run his father's business. He'd been living very retracted for the past couple of years from what we got to know. He instructed me to inform the person he declared as his legal successor, thus the new owner of the Pembroke industry and Arthur Pembroke's assets."

Max didn't move at all. He just kept staring at the guy in front of him. Leo looked at him too with wide eyes, but quickly rushed by his side and took the papers out of his hand, reading it too. He had always been much better in reading this kind of formal language anyway and Max seemed way to taken aback that moment to really get it.

"Max," he said after a short moment and gasped slightly, his eyes growing bigger as well. "It's you. Scott's put your name in this take-over declaration."

"I am here because I need you to sign this so this form is valid," the suit-guy said. He obviously wondered a bit about all of it. First of all about the reaction of Max. Normally people were at least a little happy about news like that, but Max simply stared at him in disbelief and his face looked as though all blood had drained from it. Secondly, he didn't quite know what to think of it. This guy was more than obviously a guest of this...queer party. And he never heard of Pembroke having spent a lot of time in this kind of company before.

Max on the other hand turned his head. His eyes were scanning their surrounding and the faces of the people around him. He was searching for Carmen. He couldn't find him at first, but then he spotted him. The slender man stood at the farthest corner of the room, leaned to a wall with his arms crossed in front of his body and watched Roger and Diane talking. He seemed to sense Max's eyes on him though and only seconds later their eyes met. Immediately a wide grin appeared on his face while he held Max's stare.

Max couldn't believe it though. His face must carry along a million questions for Carmen started to laugh slightly. But then he just nodded at him approvingly and raised his eyebrows. His grin became even wider and he gestured towards the lawyer in a very presenting way again.

Max held his breath. He felt strangely touched all of a sudden. Never had he expected something like that. It was way too much. And more importantly, it solved all of his problems right now and with a hundred percent certainty prevented him of going to jail. Right now and here.

He turned to face that lawyer again.

"I need your signature here and here," the guy continued his speech, pointing at two paragraphs on the last page of that declaration. He wanted to end all this quickly for sure.

Leo quickly handed Max a pen he was pulling out of his jacket's pocket. He smiled too and put his hands on his shoulders when the older man signed the papers with shaking hands. Then he handed them back to that gray guy, still not believing it. The Lawyer looked at it once and seemed satisfied. Nodding approvingly, he folded them again and put them back into his bag.

"Thank you," he said while getting up and facing him again. "And congratulations. I wish someone would give something like that to me for once."

"I am as surprised as you are," Max answered, shaking this guys' hand.

"Allow me one question though," the man said quickly. "I've heard some tale once about Mr. Pembroke's son having died some years ago. Obviously this wasn't the case."

"You've heard of that?" Max asked surprised.

"People add a lot to sometimes simple stories," Leo smiled at him warmly. "All a bunch of lies, believe me!"

"You're probably right," the man agreed. "But...How is he?"

"Haven't you talked to him?" Leo asked baffled, watching that man shaking his head quickly.

"He appears to be very reclusive as I mentioned before," he answered, causing Leo and Max to look at each other in disbelief. "Every order we got happened through either letters or someone else. We thought it was a joke at first, but his signature is the real one. We've checked it a couple of times."

Max and Leo looked back at him again and suppressed a laughter. This was getting more and more unbelievable.

"So, how is he?" the man asked again. "I was curious to meet him to be honest, but now I obviously don't get the chance to."

"He's fine," Max smiled at him and nodded once.

Then he turned around and his eyes caught Carmen again. He was standing with Roger and Diane now, laughing at something his partner had just said. He saw Diane and Roger grin as well. And for the first time Max noticed how lucky all of them were to be here. In this house. Today. And being a part of the maybe most important day in all their lives. And he noticed once more how unbelievably grateful he felt that it was him who could call these amazing bunch of people his friends; his family. He was part of them as well as they were part of him. And just being able to see Carmen smile again; to see him laughing at some of the stupid jokes Roger always told had been very well worth everything. It made him feel incredibly humble and proud to be still alive at the same time.

"As a matter of fact he has never been better!"

~The End~


End file.
